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@wilderdude I only asked what poor choices she made. That's all. Please answer the question.
@wilderdude Nice evasion. Nothing is ever 100% of the time when it comes to people. I guess that since not 100% of women will choose the bear, then no one is choosing the bear, and you don't have anything to be outraged about.
Your comment and inability to answer a simple question reeks of misogyny and victim blaming.
@natickben yeah... I had to physically walk away from my phone on this one so I don't get myself in timeout 😅 my impulse control skills with ADHD can only go so far lol
@wilderdude That is absolutely not what you said. That was very far from a random hypothetical. And I'm not a dude.
"What I've found is that the women choosing the bear are those that tend to make very poor choices in regards to selecting a partner. The nice guys are viewed as boring and the bad boys are fun and exciting." I gave you an example of someone who did not make a poor choice in regards to selecting a partner, and would still choose the bear.
Go back through this thread and read what women deal with on a daily basis. Since they apparently mainly do that because of their poor choices, tell me what their poor choices were.
@wilderdude that is not what you said. Here, let's help you out:
What I've found is that the women choosing the bear are those that tend to make very poor choices in regards to selecting a partner.
Since you apparently struggle with reading comprehension, let's break that down further.
"women choosing the bear" - you made an observation about the majority of women, since the majority of women have chosen the bear. That, or you have been selectively reading responses both in this thread and everywhere else this topic as been discussed.
"tend to make very poor choices" - this part here absolutely is placing the blame for what happens during SA on the women, because what is the alternative? That they make better choices so they don't get SA? That means their choice is the deciding factor, not the actions of the perpetrator. That is victim blaming aka shifting blame/responsibility for a person's actions.
"in regards to selecting a partner." - and this part is where you assume that all SA happens within the context of a relationship. While it is true that most r*pe is perpetrated by someone the victim knows, such as within a relationship, SA is more than just r*pe.
Your premise is that the women picking the bear are doing so because they are blaming all men for the actions of the few who hurt them, whom you posit are their past/present romantic partners. And what pretty much every woman in this thread, and everywhere else, has been saying is that the reason we cannot trust men is because SA happens so frequently, in so many forms, in so many contexts, that we have to be hypervigilant for our own safety. It has nothing to do with whom are partner is and whether or not they have assaulted us - there will have been plenty of random strangers who will have already made us wary.
Women get groped on the bus, subway, planes, etc. ... harassed at work ... catcalled on the street ...none of which has to do with who they are dating or whether they are dating at all, or "nice" guys being "boring."
Groping is considered sexual assault. And choosing the bear over a strange man is not the same as thinking all men are scum.
@WriterGF I'm not saying it's the same as thinking all men are scum. I'm talking about the group of women that vocalize that very sentiment when taking the bear. This goes back to before this hypothetical as well.
@wilderdude So you're trying to prove your point by cherry-picking and moving the goalposts. And whatabouts. Can't forget about them.
I'm late to the party, but I think there's broadly two factors beyond the "I'd choose the bear" phenomenon.
The first factor is an increasing amount of "battle between the sexes" type content online. Men and women are getting increasingly bitter towards each other, and a lot of content creators are perfectly happy to fan the flames. This leads to some really weird places and leads to people saying some truly bonkers, hateful stuff. Both men and women.
The second factor is a complete failure to think quantitatively. It's a purely emotion-driven statement, even when they try to come up with justifications after the fact. Of course the vast majority of men are not murderers, and of course a bear is a dangerous wild animal that wouldn't hesitate to kill if it felt provoked or was starving or just because it felt like it. Any statement otherwise is simply delusional. But again, it's not really coming from a place of quantitative, rational thought - it's just a poorly phrased attempt to express fear and hatred of men.
@Unscented_Lemon do not address me any further
@wilderdude Why not? Because I point out the fallacies in your arguments? Or was there something about my profile that you didn't like?
If you're going to post your opinion in a public forum, you run the risk of people disagreeing with you.
Especially if it’s filled with victim blaming….
Is there anything they could say that would change your viewpoint?
You're right, @wilderdude. Some people don't make good faith arguments. Arguments like most of them have "red flags even Stevie Wonder can see."
Or "I was groped on a bus and therefore women are to blame for the abusive actions of men" somehow.
I'm just curious what these supposed arguments in bad faith are. Especially after he responded to a detailed explanation of his difficulties with reading comprehension with "no u" and dubious statements based on "lots of feedback", and cherry-picking, moving the goalposts, and whataboutism.
She should watch the movie Cocaine Bear it will change her response after
@Unscented_Lemon yeah, once they start playing those games I usually try my best to stop taking the bait. (Though I often fail.) It's also rather hilarious that folks like him will repeatedly violate clearly stated boundaries of others in the forums regarding contact, but then demand the respect they cannot give. It makes my ban hammer fingers twitch.
@wilderdude there's those reading comprehension skills failing you again. I said "folks like him" and actually was not even referencing you for that. I was speaking of people who use similar tactics in arguments, especially on the forums.
But it's telling that you thought I was speaking of you. Recognize yourself, eh?
I don't play games or mince words. I speak directly, sometimes too much so (just ask the rest of the forum folks lol). If I have a problem with you I am more than happy to spell it out to you clearly and tag you or send you a DM.
@cuddlefaery no problem with reading comprehension, it's not unreasonable for me to assume it was directed towards me since it was a response to a post that clearly was directed towards me. I do not believe I've violated any boundaries.
About a week ago a woman was asked if she’d rather encounter @CharlieBear or a man in the woods. She chose @CharlieBear which is quite sad because now @CharlieBear will lock this thread since it ran its course
@Sooson I don't think it has. It just got side tracked, but then managed to circle back around in away as now we are getting a prime example of why the bear conversation keeps going on and why we're still having these conversations after so many decades.
So many men are getting riled up about women choosing the bear even when the women are not talking specifically about them because they are reading themselves into it. Instead of thinking "oh, this isn't about me - I've never done that", they're recognizing themselves in what women are complaining about. Their subconscious is trying so hard to guide them towards better self-awareness, but they're directing their anger outwards as they're afraid to really dig inwards.
So many men are getting riled up about women choosing the bear even when the women are not talking specifically about them because they are reading themselves into it
So let's suppose someone said, "I'd feel safer encountering a bear than a black person." And if a black person objected to that, would they then be justified in saying "oh this isn't about you; you're just reading yourself into it"?
In other words: In your eyes, is it OK to make offensive slanderous statements against any demographic? Or only certain demographics? Could you list which demographics are acceptable to slander? Similarly, is any demographic not allowed to defend themselves? Or only certain ones? Like if someone said, "women are so manipulative," and a woman objected to that statement, is it because she's "reading herself into it" and she needs to gain better self-awareness? Or is it OK for her to object, because women are allowed to be offended by sexist statements against women, while men aren't allowed to be offended by statements against men?