Messaging a client to ask about a Pro??!

huggaboo_babyhuggaboo_baby
in Pro Cuddling

So, ive learned that clients are messaging clients to ask about pros.. for example "hey, i seen you had a session with huggaboo, how was it? What all does she do?" ect.... seriously?? Lol. To come onto my page, and reach out to clients that left me a Karma in MY opinion is cringe! 1st of all, my connections are real and genuine.. my session WILL not be the exact same with everyone. If You are one of the individuals that reach out to people to ask about another cuddler.. My advice to you would be, Don't !! because it's pointless, And most grown men don't like other grown men messaging them asking them questions about their business.. READ MY PROFILE, MAKE A BOOKING, AND FIND OUT 4 URSELF. STOP HARASSING MY CLIENTS PLZ. no experience is the same.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]zerogone40 (deleted user)

    Maybe they're getting CC confused with TripAdvisor. 🤔

  • [Deleted User]natickben (deleted user)
    edited May 2024

    I have two thoughts about this:

    1. Creeps are trying to feel out if you are a sex worker

    2. Noncreeps are trying to decide if you'd be a good mesh based on the experience of others.

    The first one is problematic. The second one isn't.

  • huggaboo_babyhuggaboo_baby

    @natickben no lies told... but id think the non creeps would just believed my karma.. lol

  • huggaboo_babyhuggaboo_baby

    @zerolight40 tripadvisor? Lol not familiar

  • [Deleted User]zerogone40 (deleted user)

    @huggaboo_baby - Basically a review site for hotels and restaurants. 😊

  • VinDinVinDin

    @natickben good thoughts, and I agree 100 percent

    I have personally never messaged another client to ask about their experience, but a handful have messaged me. None were creepy, and I feel that for some, they could just be nervous or anxious, which I think is completely valid.

  • Will564Will564

    Yeah, I basically agree with @VinDin. I’ve never done this myself, but I can’t automatically fault someone for wanting to do everything they can to find out if a pro cuddler is right for them. Karma and a pro’s profile is a good starting point but not an end-all-be-all.

    However, like with anything else, it depends on how it’s done. If it’s done in a harassing manner, then yeah, it’s rude and a problem. But I think it can be done politely too.

    And of course, like others have said, if it’s done with ill intentions, then of course I agree with the OP. But I don’t think that has to be the automatic assumption.

  • Mike403Mike403

    "What all does she do" sounds like they're fishing for pros offering non-platonic services.

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    I agree with @natickben that it's likely one of the two.

    On the non-creep side:
    Good reviews and a profile don't always tell the whole story.
    I had a previous client that said they had booked another pro before that had good reviews... when they got to the session she only liked cuddling sitting next to each other on the couch. Had he known that, he wouldn't have booked with her.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    As long as it’s with good intentions, I’ve never had an issue with a cuddler contacting my cuddlers to see if I’m a good fit for them

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited May 2024

    There are pros who will ask other pros about clients. At one point, I had pros sending me screen shots of the pros only board which showed lists of clients that were considered good and clients that were not. I haven’t had anything sent to me or had pros show me those threads in awhile but it absolutely 1000% exists. Please stop making all men out to be creeps because female pros are out there doing the same things. Maybe no one on this thread does it but yes it happens.

    That being said, details should never be given by anyone because you potentially put female pros and male clients in bad situations.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2024

    Difference between a client asking clients about pros and pros asking pros about clients is the prevalence.of clients asking about pros because they are gathering Intel about who lets you push boundaries , can be talked into changing their prices, offers extras, etc. There are off-site forums and chat groups dedicated to this , and I know for a fact there are men on this site who actively participate in those groups . However when a pro asking a pro about clients are going to more so likely to do with safety and whether they are going to likely try to do things that they shouldn't be trying to do. There is a difference, hence the reason that there is list on the pro forums about men who they have had not so great experiences with.

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera

    @morpheus, I will acknowledge that pros do reach out to one another to privately share information about client experiences and there is a general culture of cooperation when it comes to keeping one another safe, but I will go on record and say that there is 💯 percent NO list of "good clients" and "bad clients" on the pros only forum.

    We do have a thread where we keep track of dangerous and previously banned individuals, but there are rules about what kind of info can be shared on that forum.

    I'm guessing what you were sent previously was from an old and now defunct thread of questionable clients that was a mix of safety info and venting about men's bad behavior. Admin has long since cracked down on those kinds of casual rants.

  • HoosCuddlingHoosCuddling

    As a client, I don't mind this in the slightest. Any other clients can reach out to me at anytime, and I'll tell them about my experience with a pro cuddler. Yes, I know every session is different, and my experience doesn't guarantee anything about theirs. But I'm always happy to answer appropriate questions, especially from a first-timer.

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited June 2024

    @Bella_Sera when the list was sent to me and this was a long time ago, I contacted site leadership and asked that the list be removed which apparently it was. Thank you for acknowledging that pros do consult one another.

    I just feel like it’s hypocritical to make men out to be creepy if they ask another man about a pro yet pros are out there asking each other about clients and they aren’t labeled in a negative way.

    The negative blanket statements that are made about men on this site really need to stop. Good men shouldn’t have to suffer for crimes committed by bad men.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2024

    I stand by my original post that the reasons many men inquire about pros here are different to the reasons many pros ask about men . To say it's not is denial for the sake of making a point . Doesn't mean all men are creepy or that this is the reason why all men ask about pros . Just that there is enough of bad faith Intel fishing and sharing to warrant it being met with caution. It's silly to think it's a sexism thing . It exists . Be mad at the creepy men because they are the cause of this , not the women and men who react negatively to it. I mean, there are sites and chat groups literally dedicated to sharing Intel on who lets you do more than just cuddle . Current site members are in these groups . If you're a good guy then you aren't doing this so bravo there needs to be more of us on here . But don't act all offended when the slime balls are called out . Slime balls make good guys look bad , not those who call the slime balls out .

  • CuddlesByGracieCuddlesByGracie

    In theory I have no problem with a potential client asking an existing/previous client about me.

    In reality however, every time a client has told me that someone else has asked about me it has included questions like "what does she wear?" or "does she let you do a bit more or is she strict?".

    In which case...

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2024

    @CuddlesByGracie
    Right ? But admitting to that reality is seen as being mean to men and an afront to an entire gender. I would rather acknowledge a truth than cater to egos

  • CuddlesByGracieCuddlesByGracie

    Exactly @pmvines - I have zero hatred towards men in general, I'm literally just out here trying to limit the amount of sexual assaults I experience in a lifetime. Which doesn't seem controversial and yet.... 😅

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @CuddlesByGracie those men should be reported. There is a system in place for things like this. I’m grateful for your clients that let you and other pros know about things like this. I am definitely not arguing that one bit.

  • CuddlesByGracieCuddlesByGracie

    Agreed @Morpheus I do report and I'm grateful that mods are very quick to react in these situations. Unfortunately when assaults actually occur mods just don't have the same hard evidence.

    As such when I've reported people for say, asking if we can cuddle naked, the offender gets banned pretty quickly but for example when I reported someone who groped, kissed and pinned me down (while I repeatedly told him to stop) until I shouted and threatened to bite him, he was simply given a warning and is still on this site today.

    Frequently I do see much later down the line that these offenders have finally been banned which is good, but it also makes me sick to know that the ban likely only occurred because they subsequently assaulted someone else after me (and as such the evidence against them from multiple reports was then stronger). Hence wanting to warn others about these unsafe site members. In theory this would generally be the role of karma (which I do leave), but lots of cuddlers who have been assaulted don't feel safe to leave karma as they fear retaliation/escalation, especially if the person who assaulted them knows any of their personal information and/or where they live. Plus various banned members do unfortunately slip through the net and come back, so sharing information other than just their username helps others identify who to avoid.

  • ATemporaryUser0ATemporaryUser0

    Karma is a very blunt instrument. For a variety of reasons people rarely leave anything but 5 stars unless something went egregiously wrong. Thus it’s perfectly reasonable to ask someone about their experiences in a less public place where clients can be more frank.

    If you expect clients to spend hundreds of dollars to spend time with you and not discuss among themselves how the experience went and whether others should book, maybe, just maybe you’ve got an unrealistic and entitled attitude about this business.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @ATemporaryUser0
    I have had several people inquire with me about women I've met on the site and only one of six or so of them didn't have undertones or overtones of fishing for Intel on who will let you get away with what . So to that , I don't give a shit how much somebody is spending on pro cuddlers,.it's not something I entertain. Blame them, not the people who react to it .

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @CuddlesByGracie in the case you mentioned, did you report this to the police?

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I had a guy message me recently asking if a pros pics were her real pics. This pro was using fake pics but she was reported and now has real pics up so I answered his questions and said yes, those are her real pics which was the truth. I don’t see anything wrong with that question or my answer.

  • CuddlesByGracieCuddlesByGracie

    @Morpheus No I didn't, the police do not take any action with reports of that nature (source: having reported multiple offences against myself and others), and their attitudes are often dismissive. It's like having your car stolen; they'll file a report but take it nowhere, except that in this case they'll also sometimes imply it's no big deal and/or that it was your own fault. Putting myself through that degradation with them again with no chance of a result is not appealing.

  • Will564Will564

    @pmvines

    Right ? But admitting to that reality is seen as being mean to men and an afront to an entire gender. I would rather acknowledge a truth than cater to egos

    I've learned that you are absolutely right about this.

    @CuddlesByGracie

    Everything about your situation is absolutely awful. I'm sorry you and other pros/women have to deal with all of this disgusting behavior. It sucks that we don't have a better system to deal with the horrible actions of guys like that.

  • CuddlesByGracieCuddlesByGracie

    Thanks @Will564 I appreciate that 🫶 I'm okay, I just wanted to highlight why sometimes the official channels do not feel sufficient to keep us safe and as such why we might share information outside of them to try to prevent others being violated.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @CuddlesByGracie I have no issues with pros sharing information like that. Going back to the reason that I originally commented to this thread is that the OP was bad mouthing guys who consult other guys about pros when pros do the same thing and consult other pros about clients. If it’s okay for pros to do it, then it’s okay for clients to do it. Neither pros nor clients should be giving out personal information or anything that can cause harm to anyone else. There is a system in place to address rule breakers and the process should be followed. The includes guys that are asking other guys for information that they shouldn’t be asking for. If something is reported and cuddlecomforts leadership doesn’t address it, shame on them. My overall motivation for addressing this, as I said before, the man bashing and overall negative blanket statements need to stop. Not every man on this site is a creep and not every pro on this site is a sex worker.

  • Will564Will564

    @Morpheus

    I think a year ago I felt a lot more like you do. Since then I've changed my opinions a lot.

    It seems like you're very similar to me in terms of how your mind naturally views things, and it creates some blind spots that are hard to see.

    I'm like you in that I want systems to work. I want everyone to follow rules and use the structures that exist.

    But when those structures don't function properly and never get fixed, keeping on relying on them doesn't help, and it's often better to find alternative ways to address the problem even if they're outside the structure.

    The second thing I think you do that my mind does too is look at things from a very individual, subjective lens instead of seeing the overall big objective picture.

    I honestly think you see a lot more man bashing than is actually there.

    I think you read into things in a personal way that hits you hard and keeps you hyper focused on how it affects you to where you can't focus on anything besides that. I think you're sensitive to what you read (which is not a bad thing at all), but you don't feel like you can express that sensitivity and vulnerability and it comes out as anger because that's more acceptable. It seems like you take a lot of things personally and

    I say all of this because my mind has done countless things just like it. And it's taken me a long time to fully see and understand that. I may be wrong because I don't know what it's like to be you. But I see so much of myself in your reactions that it just hits me as very familiar, even though I know your life experiences are different than mine in a ton of ways.

    I just honestly think that if something ever hits you as man bashing or broad or generalized, just give the person the benefit of the doubt and assume that it's not. In your own mind, take any comment they say, and add in yourself: "They are not talking about me or all men. They are only talking about their own individual experience."

    I really think that if you can get your mind to do that you'll be happier. Because what you perceive as man bashing is never going to stop until the much bigger problems in society are fixed first.

    It's just my opinion, take it or leave it.

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