Accepting of all ages is quite different than “must accept”. Accepting is open ended and interpretations vary. I can accept all ages but choose not to cuddle people of a certain age based on bad experiences. There are loopholes everywhere in the requirements which read like recommendations rather than requirements. For example, “can be affectionate to anyone” reads not as an imperative but rather the person should have the potential to cuddle anyone.
I agree with @TxTom on this. If that is a legal document, it is the most wishy-washy legal document I have ever seen and would fall like a bad Angel food cake in court.
Cambridge's definition of the word "requirement"...
"something that you must do, or something you need"
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/requirement
It's not a legal document, I said it's a legal thing. Discrimination is against the law.
"the Court’s decision in Halpert underscores the importance of employers understanding that by vesting an “outsider” with authority to act on its behalf, the employer is likely to assume responsibility for that independent contractor’s discriminatory acts."
https://www.loeb.com/en/insights/publications/2009/12/employer-can-be-liable-for-discrimination-by-an-__
"Become a Professional Cuddler with Cuddle Comfort and earn great money as an independent contractor."
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/become-a-professional-cuddler
So to answer @TxTom's question, "why force requirements onto Pro's" - this is why.
I agree that people shouldn't be upset by others' age range preferences...and I see zero point in trying to circumvent them through lies or filters, as I said in my first post.
However, Pro's are held to a different standard, and are prohibited from age discrimination. If someone can't set aside their preferences and act as a professional contractor, they shouldn't have ignored page one of the job description, and shouldn't have applied.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
Why not? If the assertion is made that it is not a legal document but a legal thing then it undercuts the word requirement. And yes it’s a legal disclaimer in many ways by saying we said this so the onus is off us. But quoting the Cambridge or Oxford dictionaries is providing a colloquial definition not a legal one. This is a requirement in a wink wink way only and the only teeth it has is banishment if a pro is dumb enough to say you are too old or too young to a prospective client.
The whole thing is silly and unenforceable unless someone is overtly ageist by stating it and even then they are only going to get banned and return under a new alias.
@pmvines is correct. Who cares. The majority of pros have boundaries and some of them are discriminatory by definition but will never be stated in the light of day. The must or must not part of the colloquial definition of requirement just isn’t there. The whole thing is a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. The reality of what actually goes on is real and CC does nothing about it nor should they unless there is a smoking gun and it is reported. Therefore these are not requirements, nor are they legally binding. It is only there for CC to say we tried to tell them.
And setting aside preferences? How do you know that anyone has? By clicking your heels three times and wishing it true? I would venture to say there is a pro who will only cuddle guys over 5’10” because she is 5’10”. But she is never going to say it. As @TxTom said, there are workarounds for everything and CC has neither the staff nor the time to smoke out these “rule breakers”. And again, how would you prove it? The reality is no one completely sets aside preferences—they just keep it on the down low. You ever see a banker announce discriminatory loan practices? No the ones that get caught just made it too obvious.
Take away—ageism is practiced under the table by some. Just take your business elsewhere to a different pro as CC will not investigate it unless the pro blatantly says they are discriminating because of age. Then they will be banned for stupidity.
Yep, it's called a CYA policy.
"Who cares" - obviously you, given the lengthy post.
Who cares is a reference to if you actually experience ageism with a pro on here. It has nothing to do with discussing a disagreement about semantics on pro requirements. Obviously you can’t resist being unnecessarily snarky when someone disagrees with you.
Not exactly a requirement now is it? Or prohibitive.
We agree it's a CYA policy. But I do happen to care if people experience discrimination.
I do happen to care if people experience discrimination.
We all do but it exists and always will unless you can get into the hearts and minds of every individual and even that would be problematic ethically speaking. Who decides what is discriminatory? Often it becomes a perspective of the individual person in many cases. You can ameliorate the simple discriminatory practices of a company that has 10,000 employees and all of them are white males, but it becomes more difficult if someone is snubbed for a position individually in an integrated workplace. Or cuddle site for that matter. Even a Klansman has rights.
I care about discrimination. I don't care if someone lied about their age on a cuddle site . Regardless of their resins , it's their reasons and even if it's due to a real or perceived reason that is a result of an underlying problem with society, it's not going mean that arguing about it will change whether or not they choose to continue to lie about their age . Not my hill to die on .
@pmvines Precisely. The two views are not mutually exclusive.
shrug I see someone say they're experiencing ageism, I'm gonna encourage them to report it. I see people saying Pro's don't have to follow the rules, I'm gonna say something. I see someone ask a question I can answer, I'm gonna answer it. I see someone excusing rules as guidelines, I'm gonna quote the reality. I see a problem in society, I'm gonna do what little I can to stand up, speak up, and affect it.
Oh my goodness I'm just expressing my opinion on the matter of people lying about their age and whether or not it bothers me that they do that, as that is what the thread is about. The larger picture of systemic ageism has been and will continue to be debated for aeons . That's not what I made my statement about . Let's try to stop inserting our own virtues and sense of righteousness into the intent of others pretty please
If only everything was black and white. But it isn’t. A lot of good people know that without a quote to bolster that they are doing the right thing. A lot of innocent people have suffered from good people being overzealous in their absolute moralism. But if it’s important to you that you are seen as a good person because you give lip service to wrongs then so be it.
@pmvines well said
So you two guys didn’t receive the praise that you thought you would and now you’ve got a tag team on a woman to make yourselves look better. Leave her alone if you wanna pick on someone pick on me You guys are pathetic.
@lonelytauros So a disagreement comes down to gender. So a woman says whatever she wants to and you just go along? No one is picking on her and you are pathetic for attacking us because you think it makes you look good to women. In reality it makes you look like a door mat. It also makes you look pretty sexist when you think a woman can’t hold her own during a discussion although I bet she will think this is pretty cool in this instance despite the patronization of women you just displayed.
Yes, innocent people are going to suffer from me caring about age discrimination...
As for the unnecessary snark you couldn't resist, those who meet and know me can speak to whether my actions back up my words.
@pmvines You're free to have your opinion on liars. The only thing you wrote that I inferred any response to was the word "society".
@lonelytauros You are kind. Not worth getting a hit put on you by the cartel though.
To my way of thinking, a pro is someone selling a service. If the grocery store won't sell to you because you're too old, you'd have a problem with it. If a doctor won't give you an appointment because you're too tall or too short or they don't like your race, you'd have a problem with it. Yes, people have preferences (and prejudices) ... but if you are running a business, you aren't supposed to discriminate against your customers. If you want to say, "I only want to do this with people who are between 20-30 and are about six feet," great -- be an enthusiast and have all the limits you want. Don't run a business.
That said, if the pro has reason to believe a client is going to pose a danger, she/he has every right under the law to refuse service. Different states also have different laws regarding what is and is not discrimination, so a pro might be wise to know the laws in their state. While, as someone said, it would be hard to prove discrimination in this case, if somebody had the money and decides to be litigious, nothing stops them from filing a suit which would be costly and annoying for a pro to deal with.
I have met and spent significant, meaningful time with @SunsetSnuggles in the mountains of Colorado. She saw me across the finish line of a deeply personal journal.
I can attest she is 100% authentic and is in person exactly how she is in the forum - caring, helpful, and concerned about the wellbeing and treatment of others.
I was speaking for your whole post, not just the ageism. And I stand by it. No one is questioning how you are in real life and no one is questioning your sincerity. But we are discussing your ideas and mine but some guys seem to think this is character assassination and @lonelytauros decided to turn it into an attack. I am merely saying things are not as black and white as you make them out to be and you insinuated that someone who believes that is not a good person. I can attest just as much that @pmvines is a good person and anyone that has met me will say the same thing. It’s just that women don’t engage in white knighting as much as men do.
those who meet and know me can speak to whether my actions back up my words.
You can call it snark, but you wrote a declaration of how good a person you are instead of addressing how not everything is as black and white as you say. I said if you feel the need to tell everyone about it to make yourself feel good about yourself then so be it.
I will not be a party to thread derailment on this thread any longer.
I don't think anyone should be pressured to cuddle with anyone they don't want to, whether they are a pro or not. Who is to say that they don't have unresolved trauma that could be triggered by a person of a certain age? There could be many other reasons as well.
I'm almost 50, and that eliminates me as a cuddle partner for some people. Ok. Does it feel great? Not really. Is that their issue or mine? It's my issue. No one owes me anything. I think it's wrong to pressure anyone to let anyone touch them that they don't want touching them. For any reason.
Maybe this discriminating pro might want to examine why they are here, what their true motivations might be. But that's not my business. Acceptance is heaven. Rejection is hell. For me just as it is for them. They reject me for my age, I reject them in return. That's not good for me. I have found that out the hard way. I do more harm to myself than they have. The only way I can really improve my situation is to get honest with myself, not convince anyone of anything. There will always be thousands of people who will disagree with me. At least thousands. Am I really going to spend my life fighting them to like me?
Anyways I don't want to cuddle with anyone who doesn't really want to cuddle with me. Of course I will pick up on that energy and it will not be good for me anyways.
@WriterGF @billiam i agree . Rules should never force someone into an unsafe situation or any situation they see as uncomfortable.
I have to agree with @FunCartel_ & @pmvines & @billiam & quite a few others on this subject. I may be guessing, but it seems that most people go by how someone looks in their photos. And I did ask a Mod early on about stating an accurate age and it is not a requirement and he told me that so many people on here do change their age a little bit for security reasons. Yes, I changed my age around quite often. There are people very active on this forum who have met me in person. My age didn’t seem to bother any of them, I don’t remember that it ever came up. I don’t filter my pictures. This is exactly how I look, but I’m really 94.
to a couple of you who just checked me out, looked at my profile, I put a little message in there for you lol I’m having so much fun with this thread. I hope the rest of you are also!
@billiam
They reject me for my age, I reject them in return.
That's not healthy.
I have been rejected and/or blocked by numerous women, both enthusiasts and Pros, for reasons that run the gamut, I'm sure. And it doesn't necessarily have to be due to some trauma.
But, I don't allow their rejection to bother me. Whenever I'm rejected, I won't "retaliate" in kind. I won't reject her, nor will I block her.
I haven't dealt with women, though I don't suppose I'd treat them any differently if I did. Though I guess it kinda depends, even if I was dealing with them I feel and I'm not saying I'd do or this is the thing to do, though women who want to meet you can be harder to come by. So maybe there would or could possibly be a little more leeway. Again not saying I'd encourage this, just giving a possible explanation and now that I think about it, it'd be a bad idea to.
I've had one guy in particular whose age was like a few years off, here, and that really upset me. So we didn't talk anymore.
Then on dating sites, this right here isn't a dating site for any newbies, I've seen a guy here and there who lie about it. I find that to be uncomfortable and kinda creepy. Because it feels like they're trying to match with women who are specifically looking for some younger by trying to act like they fit their filter. Which makes one feel like that's not really giving a good look about whether or not this person respects consent.
@Mrcuddlebear "I do think there are many women over a certain age that do lie about their age. They shouldn't have to, but society makes them feel that they need to. If I met someone who I did not think was the age stated, I would not say a word about it."
Yeah, I've just recently read a confession post that a woman said she lies or has been lying about her age. Because she feared being questioned or given unwanted feedback about things like why she's not married/in a relationship yet with 10 kids. Though still even with that understanding and thought process, 'your' milage may vary if someone lies about their age. Because there are so many factors and differences at play, that may not go in one's favor.
@lonelytauros I am not seeking praise, nor do I feel I am being mean. I don't post on the interwebs to seek validation . This isn't a me vs them thing . If @SunsetSnuggles takes issue with what I posted and takes offense then apologies to her . She can have her thoughts and I can have mine , it's not that deep nor is it personal . Not gonna be lectured about it . And I'm not going to let the peanut gallery try to turn it into something that it's not .
@g_w_t_w: Made me look! 😀
@pmvines Well said again
@TxTom I agree but I think he might be saying he rejects them by moving on. Which if he wants to look at it that way it’s ok as long as he is not making it a point of telling said pro.
I am a man of a certain age and I’ve cuddled with people of all ages. Not everyone I contact accepts my proposal or responds to my message. I have no idea whether thats because of my age, my looks, my beard, or they didn’t like my profile narrative. Or maybe they’re just too busy. I just don’t care and I’m not owed a response or explanation, and I’m certainly not owed a cuddle from anyone.
Frankly, I don’t care why someone might not want to cuddle with me. Regardless, if they don’t want to cuddle with me, then I really don’t want to cuddle with them.
I can think of few things more horrible than holding someone in my arms who doesn’t want to be there, for whatever reason.
@TxTom
"That's not healthy:
That's what I'm saying.