Really curious about women's thoughts on this topic

[Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)
edited June 2024 in General

I see a lot of men on different sites and even myself that have reached out and asked for innocent help/requests and I've come across two different outcomes.

First most common outcome: If the man has a 6 pack abs and he would love great around your arm. His post/request is overfilled with women wanting to help.

Second most common outcome: Men like myself that have the "desired" dadbod and are clear about their intentions. Nothing, no responses, no messages back nothing unless the woman is trying to mislead the guy into given up money to them or giving them something of great monetary value.

I'm interested in knowing ONLY women's opinion on this topic for now please. Also please don't come at me with, "well thats not me/all women", I know and that is not an answer to the question of opinion thats a blanket statement to avoid the real question.

If you don't want your comment to be public or if you wish to have a deeper conversation on this topic, please don't feel pressure to public post and message me instead from my profile.

(side note: if you know how to post a thumbnail photo so I don't have that weird empty box thing, I would be much appreciated)

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Comments

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace
    edited June 2024

    Tbh I am so confused 🤔 at what exactly your thread is asking.

    If a human asks for my help, that is where I keep it. It’s not about looks or money.

    A human communicated a need or request for assistance.

    If I can help I will OR I will send them information or take them to where they can get that assistance. Or at times bring the assistance to them.

    And you can upload any type of pic not over a certain size. So they should not be an issue uploading a thumbnail.

    Happy Wednesday of confusion.

    Pretty/Handsome privilege seen and or acted upon is just that and speaks volumes of each persons character in regards to the assignment response and inquiry. 🧐 but real life cannot sustain such practices without more than visual sensory communication.

    Meaning humans have more depth than this even if they are more shallow. Perception is a tricky slope if you/anyone have more headspace therapy to work through.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    And you can upload any type of pic not over a certain size. So they should not be an issue uploading a thumbnail.

    I have pics on my profile, but can't get one in the forum

    Tbh I am so confused 🤔 at what exactly your thread is asking.

    this is cuddle comfort and having autism it's hard to things come across in a way that I mean. So in this thread it's about cuddling and requesting cuddle appointments. That is all has nothing to do about anything else, just what is your opinion based on looks over actual requests from anyone.

    Tips on how to make it clearer helps. Probably doesn't help the autism I have a sun exposure headache as well.

  • Notacat1Notacat1

    Saying “Different sites” & labeling your requests as “innocent” sounds a bit sus to be honest. Seems like your internal debate might be about 6 packs vs dadbods.. unless you are shirtless while making a “request” how does that come into play? Sorry I understand that you’re probably talking about more than that, but seriously this site is not a free handout service for the Pros on here. They have to worry about their own lives and not cater to guys who think they have what is “desired”.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)
    edited June 2024

    Innocent help meaning that here's no hidden agenda. No undertone. No one is looking for a free hand me out and was never implied.

    No the topic has nothing to do with 6packs vs dadbods. has to do with the fact I feel more women choose those kinds of guys to want to help over someone that isn't of ideal looks.

    I'm going to add this in. Why did you feel the need to ignore the topic and come in aggressively rather than be supportive and either help alter the question or answer the question in general like Sunshinehug did?

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    Thank you for clarifying a bit. Sorry you have a headache 🫂

    There are many homeless in the Sacramento areas all over and I help them often. So I was confused. 🤔 about you inquiry.

    Thank you for letting me know about your communications experience on here. Please do not let it deter you nor confuse you to think you are not worthy of cuddles.

    Well if someone is not responding or being kind. “They ain’t you for. “

    That’s how I see it when I get booking requests with zero comms or when I get zero response /effort.

    Saves me from stress to let it go and “let them.”

    Being kind is free.

    If anyone is not in this mindset, you really don’t want to explore further as it’s laden with more stresses and triggers.

    Also the Pros are to be open to all and not judging by looks.
    Most of us prefer a brief intro, pic and if you host, prefer to be a guest or a public cuddle. 🥰
    Once bookings are accepted a vid call or phone call can clear up the session questions ect.
    It does take a small bit of communication back n forth to get to the appointment. But if the enthusiasts or pros are not responding; it could be for many reasons that are not personal. Or could be personal.

    Just don’t take someone’s lack of comms, personal.

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    This setting makes your thumbnail not show in forums.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    Fascinating!!! I'll have to check that setting...

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    Because without an account, you can read the forums on here. Believe it’s a small measure of internet safety.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @SunshineHug Sorry I don't know how to directly reply to your second comment.

    I was once homeless back in early 2000s, before joining the Navy and well it sucked but the feeling of family was there and many people looked after each other. Yea you have the spicy/bad apple in every group, click etc, but overall I do believe that each of us cared for each other. I think it was super important that we did.

    Now that I have my own house and long story short, I'm the only one in it with 5 pets and it's too big. I believe in the helping those that could use a hug, handshake or even an ear to listen to their story. It's missing from my life, but it has been for 40 years and I'm used to it. I'm just confused about how I could do better or be different.

    MY PERSONAL BELIEF and only my belief is that we shouldn't be trying to make money off of cuddling and that supporting one another is the best kind of payment there is.

    ON THE OTHER HAND, yes there are some extremely sour apples out there that have negative intentions and as I wish there was less of that and more about community. It's not going to change. I'm a disabled Navy Veteran so money isn't really on my side, but thats my issue not any one else's. I try to support those that could use the help and I've been offering a room in my house with reduced rent for minor help around the house. Alas, the offering of a room really hasn't produced the best responses that I was looking for and one couple lasted two weeks before having to be evicted.

    Doesn't deter me from still wanting to help. I'm just needing more information for myself to help understand the world that I've been extremely sheltered from my entire life.

  • Notacat1Notacat1

    I didn’t ignore the topic. You said you only wanted women’s opinions on that topic so I just stated what I said lol

    My understanding is that you think looks have a lot to do with that women will and won’t do for someone. Do you realize that men, also on this site are doing the same thing? Not all are reaching out to pros based on looks, but a lot probably are.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)
    edited June 2024

    What women will and won't do for someone...... Fascinating... I did take that into consideration. I always thought in general people have the choice to do or not do something of their choosing, but yet I've been seeing it as women will do something for those they say "meet criteria"....

    The reason why I focused on women, is strictly because a lot of men are, no easy way to say it but to say it, disgusting when it comes to talking to strangers. I feel that I always have to make a disclaimer of my intentions and my strict boundaries no matter who I talk to where, when or why.

    I always try to be polite and cordial to anyone I come across and some take that as a sign of, "door wide open here come the pics" and I'm not about that. Thats why I focused on specifically women, not to deter or think that by ANY MEANS men are not....... not sure what words to use....... but the usage of innocent/help requests I was meaning more like they didn't have an ulterior motive.

    Example: If I were to message someone/anyone, about cuddling, it's strictly cuddling. it's not code for, "oops my hand slipped" or any thoughts of dates or romance nothing. It's strictly about the therapeutic need/want/desire that comes with a connection with another human. Trust me I have 3 dogs and one of them is a 85 pound pitbull that loves to think he's a lap cat. Cuddles at my home are not in short supply but theres a difference between human and animal.

  • BrianOceanBrianOcean

    @MarkusPhoenix

    No Guys respond and women can always private message me about this post.

    This guy is hysterical but you have to appreciate his angle to get some hits from female cuddlers.

    We also all appreciate the extremely original sentiment of we should not have to pay for cuddles.

    This is a forum- don't post and tell people not to respond. Also telling people they are aggressive because they don't give you the response you want is passive aggresive in and of itself.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @BrianOcean

    So you thought you'd be original come in insulting me? I mean you're basically what my entire post is about. You came in swinging for the fences and really just pointed out what everyone was talking about here. Instead of being supportive you came in for an argument. Some people don't want to have these discussions publicly for this exact reason. You take it upon yourself to think you're some kind of white knight (savior) to everyone for attacking me and insulting me on my posts.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @SunshineHug - thank you for clarifying about the privacy setting. I have mine set to block public search engines from my profile but I did not realize that meant my thumbnail was missing from my forum posts. I can see my own thumbnail on my forum posts so I assumed that everyone could see it.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @JohnR1972

    Do you have it where it's highlighted blue or grey?

  • BrianOceanBrianOcean

    @MarkusPhoenix

    No one insulted you. I simply called you out for your obvious attention seeking post disguised with a ridiculously nebulous statement of "Looking for Help" whatever that means.

    The post is obviously disguised to passive aggresively take shots at attractive female cuddlers who have not been "supportive" to you. With a special slight for Pros who want to charge you for their services.

    Many people vulnerably post on here and have posiitve responses because it is genuine.

    Your post is so obvious an axe to grind shrouded in a "need" that it warrants a response.

    Just post you complaint and be a man about it. Don't hide behind false pretenses.

    Pretty/handsome privilege is real as @SunshineHug has mentioned-people either benefit from it or are slighted by it-That is how life works whether we like it or not.

    Something tells me if an extremely attractive female cuddler wanted to help you and so did the female version of what you describe as "Dadbod" -you would take the former and not the latter.

    It seems fairly obvious to me what your post is really all about and what you are really seeking and I don't think it is "help" or to be "supported"

    ALL of us have been ignored by cuddlers both male and female at some point.

    As far as your take on the Pro cuddlers- Here is a suggestion-Whatever you do for a living -Why do you do that for free for a while-
    I am sure whatever it is you do-someone can benefit from it without having to pay for it.

    Pur your money where your mouth is.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    What innocent help are you asking for?

    On here you can talk to a cuddle enthusiast for free cuddles, and we know the pros charge.

    On other websites, what help are you asking them for?

    I think that when a man is at a gas station, and then they approach a woman asking for help, they could have easily approached a man instead for the “help” they need. It puts a woman in a situation that could be dangerous. It doesn’t have to do with what the man looks like. It’s a situation that could’ve been approached another way.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @MarkusPhoenix
    The white dot is on the right and the background is blue on that setting. My thumbnail is a small river with trees on either side. I can see it in all my forum posts and I had assumed everyone else could see it.

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    Thank you for your service @MarkusPhoenix

    Once your clarified what you were asking about. It made more sense to respond. Helping folks in great need is a soft spot for me and I value the opp to help and point towards hope and light.

    Your post also gets others thinking 🤔 and processing ways to communicate.

    Enthusiasts are free cuddlers on this site but like most Pros; most require a foundation of trust. If you can’t get there, take heart and move on. Easier said than done.

    I’d put a blurb on your bio about your doggies 🐶 that during first cuddle session/s they will be put in a room ect. This could be a nervous obstacle to build a cuddle foundation with some.

    I also greatly appreciate your pictures on your bio. It gives a huge first impression that you are not suss from the jump.

    @JohnR1972 hmm 🤔 idk 🤷‍♀️ I thought this was the thumbnail privacy setting. I’m sure another OG can clarify. In 3….2….1.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @BrianOcean

    No one insulted you. I simply called you out for your obvious attention seeking post disguised with a ridiculously nebulous statement of "Looking for Help" whatever that means. - thats an insult there buddy.

    The post is obviously disguised to passive aggresively take shots at attractive female cuddlers who have not been "supportive" to you. With a special slight for Pros who want to charge you for their services. - thats a you projecting problem.

    Your post is so obvious an axe to grind shrouded in a "need" that it warrants a response. - again insulting and projecting a you problem.

    Just post you complaint and be a man about it. Don't hide behind false pretenses. - so why did you feel the need to come in here and be negative towards me and so angry?

    Something tells me if an extremely attractive female cuddler wanted to help you and so did the female version of what you describe as "Dadbod" -you would take the former and not the latter. - again a you problem and I'm accepting of everyone. I've dated, married and have had children with different women and befor eyou go on another rant. I've been married twice and one girlfriend and my exwife are the only women that I've had children with. Trust me the difference between the girlfriend and exwife are extremely different.

    It seems fairly obvious to me what your post is really all about and what you are really seeking and I don't think it is "help" or to be "supported" - obvious to you being a rude individual coming onto my page to start this fight. I think you need to take yourself somewhere else if you're so angry.

    As far as your take on the Pro cuddlers- Here is a suggestion-Whatever you do for a living -Why do you do that for free for a while- - I'm a disabled veteran. would I join the Navy for free. Absolutely cause it's about the safety and love for my country. Also I'm no a certified scuba diver and my part time gig is collecting golf balls in ponds at different golf courses. Pay is 10cents a ball. Would I do it for free. Absolutely. I don't need money to be happy like yourself. You're really just a rude individual.

    I am sure whatever it is you do-someone can benefit from it without having to pay for it. Pur your money where your mouth is. - this is just insulting yourself here and really it's just about you trying to act tough for no reason. You have no reason to respond to me and you're gonna get yourself banned from this website, because you are so aggressive. Where it's a simple conversation about opinions. Sorry that you have so much hate in your life.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @CuddleHugs01234

    The term being used as innocent is not having any underlying, I'm asking, lets say since we are here, for cuddling free or paid. The innocent part being that is the end of it, just what the site is for following the Terms of Service and nothing else. The site is to promote Therapeutic Cuddling, not anything else. Just cuddling which is in itself innocent from what others have expressed has happened to them or an experience they have heard of. Where things tend to not stay within the boundaries set forth by Cuddle Comfort.

    I just mean other sites like Facebook or other social medias where you post any form of need, advice, help with moving, you name it and usually on reddit you can clearly see the difference between who's getting the help and whos not.

    I would agree with your last statement in the fullest extent, but the issue can be easily proven by asking about different races. If you want to see some interesting experiments that I don't agree with, youtube and tiktok have "gold digger" videos that show a young man ask a pretty gal if he could join her for a moment and she rejects him and then his friend pulls up in a exotic car and she no longer has a boyfriend and/or now she's interested in him because he seems to have loads of money. It's words I can't say here and won't, not about the women but about the lies and deceit that is in those videos.

    Everyone is entitled to their choices and opinions, but to deceive someone for any reason is.... against terms of service.... words here on cuddle comfort. I believe in helping each other.

    TO ANYONE QUESTIONING ME: YES, I have donated, supported and given things to men and women that were in need.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @JohnR1972 mine was/has been the same way.... wonder if it's just a time thing.

  • SoosonSooson

    All the dude is trying to say is that his experiance is that men who are better looking are more likely to receive help/responses from women regardless of the type of help requested (I'm sure it's the same the other way around)

    To that I can also add that sky is blue, grass is green and 2 plus 2 is 4.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @SunshineHug

    Thank you so much for responding. Your tips have been helpful. Also the privacy thing with the google thing. I've had it both ways now, but still not thumbnail. It's okay it might just be a length of time and also like on reddit they have "karma" where it's if people are interacting with your posts you get seen more often and some other benefit I don't know.

    I’d put a blurb on your bio about your doggies 🐶 that during first cuddle session/s they will be put in a room ect. This could be a nervous obstacle to build a cuddle foundation with some. -I was thinking of offering the opportunity to snuggle one of them versus myself as a option, but I will make sure that I have something about the dogs can be removed from the area.

    I also greatly appreciate your pictures on your bio. It gives a huge first impression that you are not suss from the jump. -I guess thats where a different issue is. You and others have mentioned that the main thread post wasn't clear, but I had to clear it up and sometimes I don't get that opportunity. Being autistic we don't have the best social skills and we interact with the world in a vastly different way. My oldest with my exwife is autistic as well and she has severe social anxiety like I do. Both of us have never really had positive interactions with places like school or public gatherings. I notice that her and I talk differently and it's hard for people to either understand or want to interact.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @Sooson

    Absolutely, thank you and yes. It is the other way around too. No one set of anyone is above another. I just wanted an opinion if I was seeing something wrong or different.

    Yes I'm single and yes I'm on dating apps, but thats not the conversation or topic. I've notice a lot about women posting and saying they want a dude with a dadbod, but they seem to have all these photos of the guys that look like Situation from Jersey Shore. I'm just terrible with wording.

  • BrianOceanBrianOcean

    @MarkusPhoenix
    Thanks for your service-I come from a Military Family-

    I am not being mean to you -just pushing back. There is a big difference.

    The Veterans Administration has greatly improved their access to assistance over the the last 7-8 years.
    Militaryonesource-has been a great help to veterans as well.

    You should not expect me to be banned for being "aggressive" that's not the type of Freedom my family members who served sacrificed for.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)

    @BrianOcean

    My family history from what I've found so far back to the 17th century all the men have been in some form of military service. I'm the only one from my generation of children that has ever served.

    Some of us have enough push back everyday in our lives and this was not the post to do it on or the person to do it to.

    The VA has made some epic changes, however, the people that work at the VA have totally difference of opinions on who can/deserve what help. Also some of the VA laws, not really laws more like rules that the call laws internally, are very precise and have no room for how do you say, no bending or avoiding, but something like that. I'm 100% disabled and I need severe help around the house, but since I don't need help bathing or getting out of bed. The only way I can get a caregiver for myself is when I'm no longer able to drive.

    I don't expect you to be banned for being aggressive. I'm saying thats the kind of thing that can get you banned. I haven't reported you because in my opinion you've done nothing wrong, but state a strong stance and said some mean things. I've heard far worse in person from people and on different social media platforms.

    However, this is not the area, that your family has fought the freedoms for. Not sure how to exactly word it to make sense but the moderators here live by a different set of rules than freedom of speech.

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    I love pets more than humans but I raised livestock in my youth.
    It explains my full circle nurture nature.
    Put both in your bio, cuddle me and make 4 new friends. 3 pups and a vet whom appreciates platonic companionship.
    Maybe 🤔 try a visit to an animal shelter and strike up a conversation with a female there. Gently build and then maybe 🤔 witness for CC or get a cuddle buddy without having to use this platform.

    Best of luck to you and glad to see less emotional reaction in this thread.

    Hugs 🤗 to us all.

  • [Deleted User]MarkusPhoenix (deleted user)
    edited June 2024

    I do love animals more than humans, some to most of the time. I was born on a military base and raised on military bases for 14 years. Never really go to experience much but I sure do love seeing nature at it's finest. I have deer, turkey, rabbits, bears, hawks, falcons... the list is huge that live around my house. I have a family of bunnies, that have been living in my backyard for the past 3 years I've lived here.

    The visiting an animal shelter and try to strike up a conversation with a female...... take a lot more courage than my anxiety gives me credit for, BUT I'm always trying to get out of my comfort zone. I recently did a Tantra Speed Dating event and while I was a nervous wreck. I would highly suggest it, if you're single and prepared to be vulnerable to yourself and to strangers. You'll never know what you'll hear, see and encounter.

    Not sure what you are referring to with witness for CC? I'm so far old school with slang, I think it's called, and the new updated abbreviations. It's like I'm in a world that I've never knew existed.

    @SunshineHug May I message you direct?

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