@warm_embrace I appreciate that very much.
@Unscented_Lemon the “Paradox of Tolerance” and the idea that unbridled tolerance breeds intolerance is part of what makes me want to engage with intolerant people and trolls.
But, as the article implies such engagement often just escalates the intolerance (and makes me feel bad). I may be an old SJW, but I’m weary from unproductive exchanges with people who don’t matter to me.
@warm_embrace I've heard it said (or seen it written) that engaging with them isn't for them, it's for anyone in the audience who is undecided. A good way to point out "this is what shitty behavior looks like."
And of course your mental health is important, so not engaging is always a good option.
TxTom: As long as disagreement doesn't devolve into name-calling or threats, engaging in civil discussion/debate is a good thing.
I don’t think it’s always a good thing to argue, especially if the discussion is about whether someone’s feelings are valid, or whether or not they deserve respect. Sometimes arguing is not better than just being kind.
Unscented_Lemon: … engaging with them isn't for them, it's for anyone in the audience who is undecided. A good way to point out "this is what shitty behavior looks like."
This. If the conversation is at a point where it feels like you’re arguing about the use of oxygen, step back. Others probably see it too. You don’t need to change their mind or get the last word. Walk away and focus on self-care, knowing that you said something but not too much.
I stay away from social media in general. I have a Snapchat, TikTok and a FB that I literally never go on. I will post and browse on IG but I rarely comment and or engage in replying to comments. CC is the only message board that I frequent. I comment on here more than anywhere else. I’m extremely busy in my personal life so I don’t have the time but also and probably more importantly, I think social media has a huge negative affect on people. In terms of developing rage etc because of people comments, I find everyone and everything more amusing than anything. Other people’s messes are exactly that, they’re other people’s messes and most people aren’t important enough to get upset at.
@Catoline I agree. I appreciate civil discussion, but I don't like to argue as it's pretty much useless to do so, especially online. It is better to just walk away before it reaches that point.
I don't argue (or try not to), and I've never blocked anyone.
@TxTom
I've never blocked anyone
I’ve never blocked anyone either. When I find out people have blocked me, I generally think, wow that’s funny, you don’t have to block me, I wasn’t going to contact you anyway.
I need a way to remember which accounts are most likely to cause me mental harm and insulate myself in advance. The reactive approach doesn’t work for me the same as it would work for you. I don’t expect you to understand.
Well since i try_ not to get in to any debates, it's sometimes difficult. Sometimes words trigger reaction. I usually drop my thoughts and walk away. I don't mean to insult, usually because I'm too busy to consider others thoughts and i attempt to just share my point alot view, not change anyone's mind. Because really, what do i care if you disagree. As long as i don't direct it towards anyone. I find it to be a waste of my time. However there are few points of view i care to understand, it is very few.
When i am directly addressed i may respond, if i dont see anything beneficial coming from the interaction I'll respond with an "ok" or something similar and walk away.
But my biggest effort not to feed the trolls. Is to not offer my point of view if i think it will fall on deaf ears. I most times comment and feel ashamed i even got involved. I usually apologize for even being bothered, and that apology is for myself.
Just my 2 pence, probably ain't even worth that much.
@Morpheus
The reactive approach doesn’t work for me the same as it would work for you. I don’t expect you to understand.
I'm very proactive with my daughter, as I'm sure you are with your kid, doing my best to arm her intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually, so that she may confidently face the many challenges she'll encounter as she gets older, more independent, and ventures out into the world.
I sincerely apologize if anyone feels hurt by my strategy. That’s not my intention. It’s purely learned self-preservation from dealing with strangers online. I can be more sensitive than people assume.
@Catoline I personally am not hurt by your actions nor anyone on this message board. In the scheme of things, no one here is importent enough to hurt me. I also do not judge you nor anyone else on these boards. Disagree with peoples comments I may, but judge, no. The majority of people in the world are good people at their core.
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Internet rage - I get none. On these forums I may read the comments or gloss over them but the key thing for me is to answer the question the OP asked with my view, that's it.
My internet rage disappeared with the AOL message boards, I share my piece and move on. If this site shut down tomorrow, there's only a few people I'd care to chat with after. Occasionally, I will DM someone about a post here, but only to not hijack the thread. I don't care about a response, my vanity is quite shallow.
“I’m not arguing, I am just explaining why I am right.” 😂
I can’t even imagine investing so much emotion in an activity that is basically only reading words by strangers - by people you may never meet. people whose profiles may be completely fake. I mean, really people stand back a little bit from all of this. Get a life! Try to not internalize so much garbage. I do feel genuine concern for some of the regular people here who do seem a bit unstable. I just hope they get out and get some fresh air, Sunlight and vitamin D, clear heads, maybe go swimming or take a hike.
@g_w_t_w I agree with you 100%. Your comment reminds me of one of my favorite Mark Twain quotes…
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@g_w_t_w
You basically just reiterated what I said to you in another thread which was….
This is just the internet and trust me, I’m not that important.
I’m glad you see it that way
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I've gotten to the point where a lot of the time I just take a step back and pause before responding. I reflect on whether engaging will be productive or just fuel the conflict. I've stopped responding to as many FB posts because there is no use.
I was literally just saying yesterday how nasty and combative people have been lately! Ugh.
Yes, too much childish bickering.
@PixiePassions the sad thing is that it’s only a handful of people on here who seem to spend an inordinate amount of time here looking for an opportunity to fight, and it’s always the same old fights involving mostly the same people. Just look through the threads and you’ll see who they are.
I’ve heard from several members who used to post quite a bit, and now they no longer participate in these forums because of them.
It’s a shame they don’t just spend more time cuddling and less provoking and arguing. No one’s mind is being changed and instead it’s devolved into a competition to see who can get the last word. It’s really quite childish and accomplishes nothing. imho.
@JohnR1972 Great quote @Morpheus I probably didn’t read the comment from you. Don’t take everything so personally, I don’t always read your comments. My words are not directed at you.
Hopefully the antagonism will get bad enough, no one will post, the whole thing will be removed permanently.
I probably didn’t read the comment from you. Don’t take everything so personally, I don’t always read your comments. My words are not directed at you.
I don’t take anything on the boards personally.
@Morpheus I did read that, I’m glad to read that, Best way to be happy and content. 😊🤗
Me when I first joined CC: "Oh, I bet the forums here are so cool and mellow cause we're all Cuddle afficionados...🥰"
Me 15 minutes later: "WTF??? 😳"
Me now: "Let's see what absurd thing they're arguing about today and if I need to add anyone to my Do Not See list."
@MikeinDavis it is indeed a good place to discover who you don’t want to meet in person. Not because they are necessarily bad people, but just because they seem to ferment conflict and I have to deal with enough negative energy irl and don’t have to add to it during my leisure time.
Maybe it does some good in that regard?🤷♂️