If I'm being honest, I thought there would be more asexuals, like me, just looking for cuddles and not really knowing how to ask people. I was proven wrong when the first person who messaged me was a person who asked me to shower for them in a hotel room they were going to pay for. I realize that is not an accurate representation of the whole community here, but it was a shock.
I joined CC at the end of last year, after hearing from women in HAI Global community (Human Awareness Institute) about Cuddle Parties, and pro Cuddlers. I have since met with 10 different women -- all Pro Cuddlers -- no real pool of eligible "Enthusiasts", so just Pros so far, ages from 24 to 56 (FYI -- I am 65). Two of them said they were real Pros -- by that I mean they do this as their main source of income and they can & do visit more than one client per day in some cases. The rest used this "Service" as a source of extra income -- a classic side-hustle, and might see a few clients per week, or month. They were all appropriately careful and protective in varying degrees, until they had enough experience with me to begin to relax. I have been pleasantly surprised by the power of their female energy with differing styles, and how much they can enjoy giving warmth and comfort to an appreciative male who honors their boundaries. Once they got past their worries about my agenda, we were able to have very friendly and conducive conversations and share preferences. I always schedule for at least 2 hours, as I find the clock goes fast during these sessions and by having less time pressure, the interactions are much less hurried or awkward. I now do non-cuddling fun stuff with several of these women -- just because we get along and want to do things together -- no funds required or expected. One helped me shop for a wedding gift at the mall, another wanted a golf lesson from me and another one joined me at a music festival -- and all of these were platonic activities one does with friends. So, I now have several, new female friends, all of whom are too young for me to date, but they have freely given me dating advice anyway. One woman in her 40s went through my closet and pulled all the "old-looking" shirts out for me to take to the Goodwill store. Lord knows, I can use the help and women generally like telling men how to dress and act, so Win-Win all around! If I do start dating a woman my age -- another goal I am pursuing -- I will suspend my cuddling activities out of respect. But until then, I will enjoy the female attention I get from cuddlers, and I am glad I found this site...
Honestly I think I took it for more than what it was worth. I joined with the mindset that there would be ample people in my area that are looking for the therapeutic portion of cuddling and what that means to everyone and how it helps. It's come to be more about no one has logged on in months or more and those that have are pretty aggressive Pros which is a major turn off. I wouldn't mind paying for a cuddler, but the thing of it is, once you become aggressive in your "sales" to get the money. I'm completely out, not even a question.
If you become quickly about wanting to cuddle for the money. It's no long about the therapeutic benefits of the session. It's a transaction and I don't do that kind of business. I've supported, gifted and offered things to many men and women around the world that I will never meet nor benefit anything from doing so, but others will.
It's important to me, that I keep within my values to not tarnish a need, want and desire, just for a quick fix. Physical Touch is my major love language. Holding hands, hugging, pat on the shoulder, hardy handshake all the wonderful things that come with touch. Intimacy is something for a strong bonded relationship, not what physical touch is as a love language and I won't budge on that value of mine as well.
It's important to me, that I keep within my values to not tarnish a need, want and desire, just for a quick fix.
Sometimes a quick fix is needed. Don't completely discount the value of a Pro.
@MarkusPhoenix your position makes sense. Self respect is very important.
I was ready to start cuddling but got banned for sharing my opinion on these forums.
@deathwash Whats happening chief?
@deathwash if you come back again, may I suggest the name death row looks like some of the other death names have already been used up, but I think death row is free for next time
I honestly didnt think it was real. I saw it on my local nightly news. I joined and then forgot about it for years. Then when my wife cheated and I found myself in need of human contact I looked back into it and the rest is history. Such a great site!
@Vectrada you and I have had similar good experiences. I’ve been doing this for years now, and I have met a good number of my current friends on here and the friendship started with a paid cuddle experience.
Quick question, where did HAI move to after Harbin burned down?
I thought that being on this site with a common objective would prompt more communication between people, Notable increase in quality and quantity of chat logs between cuddlers, even just being nice in passing if there is something that prevents cuddles between the parties.
Kinda disappointed that instead it's basically a soft dating app diluted by too many professionals and constantly getting viewed by the profiles I initiate contact with, but no message explaining why they immediately don't want to communicate and cuddle. Not that I think I'm owed it, but this site brings very specific people together, just figured people would make more effort. =/
@Zionscalling If you are talking about enthusiast views, it is very, very difficult to get enthusiast cuddles here, especially if you only cuddle women. They get hundreds of messages and could never respond to all of them and are understandably extremely choosy about who they communicate with. They are also unlikely to reach out to you first - you have to reach out to them and hope for a miracle.
As for there being "too many professionals" ... were it not for the professionals, this site would no longer exist. They are here for a very good reason - loads of men looking for cuddling, not that many women. If not for pros, it is highly unlikely much of anyone would be getting hugs here.
And no, it is not a "dating app" of any kind. If you're seeing it that way, you're misreading what it's about.
Enthusiast men outnumber pro women 6 to 1 on this site in the U.S. but that varies greatly from city to city.
It’s just another fun expensive hobby.
@WriterGF I’m just attached to what the website was when I first a decade ago: people Communicated and it was at least great to have conversation and no professionals. I didn’t have to worry about getting duped or getting overly excited to meet someone only to have them spring their rates on me as we planned a day to meet. And I LOVED the fact that even if someone was in my area and they were uninterested, they actually communicated that.
In the past 4 years or so, that changed and now this site IS like a dating app in regards to the quality/quantity (and ratios) of enthusiasts and pros, not the mindset to which I approach this app. I don’t know if the pros messed that up or what, but it is what it is. 🤷🏾♂️
hmmmmm 🤔 my original thoughts on cuddling in general? Idk if I had any thoughts lol. 🤣
Before I joined I had a spouse and 3 kids at home. Very active in all phases of life . It was such a different life then now. Fast forward and have been here for years , divorced, and kids are grown and moved away.
Joined to primarily meet people, and have had different experiences than some members. I guess I didn't realize how awesome it was going to be chatting and meeting the CC Members.
I just didn't realize when I joined CC how much of this community was going to be part of my life. This site has given this guy an opportunity to meet so many wonderful people all over the place, and it just keeps getting better with meeting folks and cuddling them when those opportunities presents themselves. Great site that I recommend a lot. I realize it doesn't work as well for everyone, and that's challenging to read on these forums.
yeah, so Idk looking back and forward, it continues to be a wonderful journey that has exceeded my expectations and assumptions for sure 🤗
@OhioMike I agree and share all of your positivity and good experiences and attitude about the site as well ! I hate that we seem to be in a minority. It almost makes one feel guilt over expressing their positive experiences and success with making friends and connections, considering how much misery loves company and it risks coming across the wrong way when you just aren't about that life. We have both made some very special and unique connections on here, and I wouldn't change a thing .
@pmvines yeah, positive experiences are challenging to express on the forums. And I kinda get that I guess. Forums are primarily for venting about stuff I think. And my gosh, you and I have had some great experiences and met some of the most amazing peeps here. Its an awesome journey for sure and I'm glad you and I can share that journey together sometimes. 🤗
@pmvines @OhioMike
While I can't speak for others, I think part of this is very similar to the effect of social media.
I know it's not good for us to get on social media and see all of the wonderful things happening in people's lives, because we only get this one small picture of it. When you see the weddings, the babies, the celebrations, the vacations, the fancy meals, the success, the new jobs, the promotions...and you get this flood of only positivity, it gives the false impression that everyone else's life is grand and that they don't have problems.
You don't see the full picture of who they are. You don't see all of the struggles, the difficulties, the sadness, the journey, all of the behind the scenes stuff that is the gritty reality of life too. It's not really toxic positivity, but in one's mind it can look that way.
So when you see your entire self, all of the good and bad, and you only see the good in someone else's, it makes your own life seem worse in comparison...and what's crazy is that sometime it can all be happening to a lot of people at the same time where they all view each other through the lens of false perception.
So I think what helps is having a healthy balance. I know for me, learning about your vulnerability and struggles has made it SO much easier to enjoy hearing about the positives in your life. It makes you seem more authentic and more like a human, not just some guy who has figured it all out and is showing off how great his life is. It helps to see the journey and the progress, not the final destination. It kind of inspires hope rather than feel like something is unattainable.
It's not about pulling you down or joining in misery. It's about seeing the entire picture of who you are.
That's just me. I'm not sure if others would feel the same or not.
Despite making attempts to get to know people in real life and generally being ignored, I thought this a great place initially to meet like minded individuals.
I was pretty wrong. Ignored here too which is rather demoralising but there’s not many active users in my area.
I don’t even mind rejection but when humans don’t even have the common courtesy to reply to someone communicating with them it leaves a sour taste.
@DarkSecrets I visited your profile and see you joined a week or so ago. In the great scheme of things here that's a short time to communicate and to even meet a CC member. As far as communications / common courtesy ...yeah that's something a lot of members are experiencing and find challenging . No easy answers or solutions so it seems. I am wishing you a great cuddle journey though!
I see the OP and his profile image of "I give up" has deleted his account here. Also see a couple members on this thread banned already. Yeah there's no shortage of struggles and sadness here on the forums in my own personal opinion. It is definitely one of the primary reasons I deactivate my account a few times a year just to take a break. I am fully aware I am having a different experience(s) than other posters on the forum. I have written several times on these forums that I wish more peeps could experience the wonderful opportunities that exist in the CC world.
@Will564 expanding on your "healthy balance" statements, I am curious what CC members think of the balance of the forums in general. Is there a good mix of negative vs positive experiences? Does it even matter?
I really don't know if it matters to most people or not. I feel like there's a good overall balance myself.