What the flip flop is this??

LovelightLovelight
edited June 2024 in General

I already rejected him and I'm really not feeling like continuing the conversation after his reply to me. Though I recently had a guy contact me. It was particularly hectic time in my life then, so it took us a little while longer to exchange contacts.

We did and he asks me to send him a photo of me. If that's his photo, then I'd say he has one of his on the profile. Though I told I'm not really comfortable with sending a photo and that we can video call.

Then he asks if we can do a voice call first. I'm thinking maybe he's a little shy and cool I agree. We set a time which he agreed to, I was unfortunately about 10 minutes late to calling him. Though he didn't call either by then and he hung up. Then got back to me like 20 something minutes later talking about sorry he had to * prep food and do stuff *. Okay??

So I let that slide and try to agree to another time, he tells me he can't really agree to a time to call... I start thinking wth... That sounds like you maybe got a wife at home you're hiding this from?

That was just one of my first thoughts, not necessarily logically. Because even such people, cheaters, do just fine with that.

I'm not here to debate or argue about whether or not that's cheating by the way. I consider it cheating , if one's partner is unaware and it gets across the point I want to regardless.

Then I start thinking if you can't even commit to a call scheduled on the same day and like an hour in advance, then how can we even plan to meet?

Anyway I found that interaction kinda exhausting and was long before ready to say my good bye anyway. It's hard enough finding someone who wants public cuddles and is comfortable with me. Which by the way he was sorta hesitant at first saying he prefers indoors. To which I basically said that's cool all the best. Then he wanted to try and I was okay with that too. Just to not even be able to call with him in any way.

So I really don't need these issues, and I'm quickly, unapologetically ready to end that sorta thing. After countless interactions that I'm not happy with, I've grown to actually not give a damn anymore, until someone proves themselves to be real and genuinely interested.

I hope things are alright with y'all though. Have any of you experienced this sorta thing too?

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    I am not always up to chatting and reserve the right to wait until I'm up to it. Sometimes there are distractions, chores, errands , work , other social things , meal time, or just simply wanting to stare at the ceiling while I veg out. I am also a bit introverted to begin with, and my work life takes a lot of energy out of me and I'm happy to not talk to people for extended periods of time while recharging. So I wouldn't necessarily say it means they are married or have a SO. May just mean they are busy or just not wanting to interact more than a few texts here and there at the moment .

  • TrialKingTrialKing

    Sorry you had that experience his behavior is odd. Who knows what he has going in behind the scenes but if something is this inconsistent when it comes to a phone call then I don't see it working out well with them in person

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2024

    If you aren't satisfied with the person you have a right to cut things off , I just wouldn't over think things is all.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @pmvines

    "I am not always up to chatting and reserve the right to wait until I'm up to it. Sometimes there are distractions, chores, errands , work , other social things , meal time, or just simply wanting to stare at the ceiling while I veg out. I am also a bit introverted to begin with, and my work life takes a lot of energy out of me and I'm happy to not talk to people for extended periods of time while recharging. So I wouldn't necessarily say it means they are married or have a SO. May just mean they are busy or just not wanting to interact more than a few texts here and there at the moment."

    Although that's all understandable, what's not so to me is the fact that he agreed to it, just to be a no show for it. Then said it's tough for him to agree to a time. How does one agree to a time meeting if they can't even agree to a time to call?

    I feel that's also one of the most basic and at times helpful ways to also get a sense of how reliable someone is at keeping their word. Plus when I was going through a lot and couldn't really talk with anyone I was communicative with him. I actually told him several times along the lines of I'm dealing with a lot and will get back to him when I can. Because he kept messaging me after sometime and before I reached back to him, which was also a slight red flag to me.

    So my issue is, even if what you said is the case for him, the lack of communication to say much like what I said.

    @FutureHeart2023 I appreciate it, and yeah I feel like at best we just aren't compatible.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @pmvines "If you aren't satisfied with the person you have a right to cut things off , I just wouldn't over think things is all."

    Yeah, I did that and I feel like sharing my experience too. I'm not really overthinking anything, I'm just moreso perplexed at the moment.

    @JoshuaC_28

    "Ladies please just move on all of this emotional nonsense is tiresome"

    How about you and I say this as politely as I can, TAKE A HIKE and stay the heck off my post? M'kay? Thanks!

  • pmvinespmvines

    @JoshuaC_28
    You're being a troll please go home now

  • SnugglyChelleSnugglyChelle

    @Lovelight The confusion is real. I've had some confusing interactions recently, as well.

    How about... this guy asking for a selfie of me when I have multiple pictures in my profile and asking if I can host when my profile says I cannot. Then, he wants to skip the public meeting I always do first because he "can't meet in public," and asks if we can video call instead. I explain that we can video call, but I still require a public meeting before cuddling, for safety reasons. He agrees to it, but when I explain the process (he sends his name and a picture, we schedule our meeting, and then we can do a video call before the meeting), his response is "I can do a video call." And no picture of himself or acknowledgment of me saying we need to schedule something before we exchange contact info for a video call.

    Some people just aren't good communicators. I've decided not to respond anymore to the guy messaging me unless he decides to go back and read what I've said and actually respond to my words. Otherwise, he can move on, and I wish him luck finding someone willing to do it his way. I'm glad you decided to end your conversation, as well. Ain't nobody got time for that.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    If they seem like they want to do their cuddling in secret, run the other way. You don't need to be in the middle of that.

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