If a Pro is not currently, but is planning to be in my area, I welcome any initial outreach she sends me. Otherwise, how am I to know? (She is only able to show two locations at any one time.)
@TxTom fair point
I’m the opposite. I want pros to message me so know they’re available for an immediate sesh
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I have one pro who messages me whenever she is going to be in Hartford. I always express my sympathies to her for having to be there.
@WriterGF 🤣🤣🤣
I find the unsolicited messages from pros quite helpful! Why, just the other day one let me know my car's extended warranty was about to expire! 😉
Maybe this site need some adjustments, its a confusing situation for some new pros. They need to make cuddle site part 2 for only non-pros and pros need a site for people who wants customer service 😁😆 problem solved🙄 no confusion 😁👍However, I think its weird to continuously go on anybody page just to only look at the different pics or info they post and not say anything or book🙃 As being a pro myself your either interested or not😁 im not about to chase anyone😆 and just because somebody's a pro does not mean they shouldn't be able to spread a pleasant Free Hi or share something special they like about a profile for free, its a block button for a reason for people who don't want to be bothered 🙂😏I know I use mine a lot🤣
Very good points, @Empress_Swan I think most people share your sentiments.
It is quite frustrating and demoralizing to go months without a message, then finally receive one and see that it's just another person who views me as an ATM. This would be a welcome feature, though I suspect it is not a high priority for a site that makes most of its money on commission.
@Tolpeko If they are messaging you without your looking at their profile, report them. If you have looked at their profile and don't want to hear from them, just block them at that time. End of problem.
@WriterGF thank you Why is this such a difficult concept for so many people here?
That email message in your box is most likely not from a female enthusiast. They're not going to reach out to you, and 99 times out of 100, their inbox is so packed full of messages they've never even seen yours, so they won't be replying. Probably best to assume it's a message from a pro. That doesn't mean they are out for your money - they might be halfway across the country and just saw something you posted and wanted to say hi.
@Tolpeko isn't wrong. He said it's demoralizing to finally get a message only to open it and see it's from a pro. Yes he can report or block that person, but that doesn't stop this from happening again and again, with the resulting demoralization. I get these kinds of messages frequently. I've never received a message from a pro who wanted to chat about anything other than me booking her. I do get messages from enthusiasts who want to chat though.
Personally, I'm fine with getting messages from pros, even if they want to just chat about booking. But that's me. We're all different. I've booked with 4 pros. Three of them reached out to me first ( after I visited their profile). I like it that way better because them reaching out shows at least some level of interest on their part. If they didn't want to cuddle with me at all they wouldn't reach out. And they've been more excited, more into it, than when I contact first. More... happy... to be there with me... I'm struggling for the right word.
@billiam When I first joined, I got a few unsolicited emails from pros looking to drum up business. They were banned before I could even reply. I have also made friends with three or four who wrote to say hi.
That's great!!
And to be clear, I'm pro pro. My experiences with them have been great! I'm so happy they were here for me when I needed them.
But again, that's my experience.
I have also had hurt feelings over my own value as a person, going back to my earliest memories. And so I can understand how one could have those old hurts flare up when the only person you can get to be affectionate with you is someone you have to pay to do so.
This doesn't make the pro bad. Or wrong. This doesn't make me (or someone like me) bad, or wrong.
The earlier the "unworthy of love" trauma hits you, and the less help you get to resolve that trauma when it happens, the more difficult it can be to find love and affection as an adult. I've been in therapy off and on since 1999 and there are things I still get wrong, things I just don't understand no matter how hard I try. But I keep trying.
In fact, some things you can't learn with words or talk therapy. And I learned some things about myself through my cuddles with professionals here on this site. So I am very grateful that they reached out to me. If the first one hadn't, I don't know how long it would have been before I finally contacted one. And I would have missed out on a lot of good things.
I have had some success with affection in my life. I was married. I've had girlfriends. And I could get cuddles now for free. But at this stage in my healing journey, I hit this realization that as much as I crave connection, I'm also terribly afraid of it. I've been sabotaging my own efforts, unconsciously, to keep myself safe emotionally. I never learned how to set and enforce boundaries to keep myself safe. Growing up, when I tried to do these things, I was abused. Now that I see a deeper level of where my issues come from, I can start to untangle those knots.
But these are my issues. They are not generalizable to everyone, and no one is wrong here. All our experiences are valid, as long as we are not intentionally hurting each other. We are here to learn from each other and sometimes that involves pain. If you dress my wound, and I'm too afraid to open my eyes and see what's really going on, I might blame you for the pain. But you're actually trying to help me. If I open my eyes to face my own pain, and when I can clearly see what is actually going on, my whole outlook on you and the outside world changes.
I love that we have the option of hiring a pro. Or investing the time and energy into finding an enthusiast. But not everything works for everyone, people can't see what they can't see, some people are held back by things that might inspire you to push forward, and everyone's experiences (and what those experiences mean to them) are different.
I'm not saying these things about my situation for sympathy. I'm trying to show that many differing opinions can all be true at the same time.
@billiam Thank you for sharing your truth. That’s never easy for men as a general rule. We would prefer to engage in a shoot out with deadly guns than show some vulnerability or a need. Thank you. You are one of the true pioneers on these forums.
Hi to all I’m new to this site, but not to cuddling. I just assumed it was common knowledge that as a pro we couldn’t/ shouldn’t solicit through messages. I don’t like spam or soliciting, so it seems like common sense to me 🤷♀️
Thanks @TheFunCartel I've learned that the shootouts don't get me what I really want: belonging. So I'm trying other ways. Plus, it feels better.
@TxTom This is an excellent point. 🤔 @panda619 Its helpful to know that some people want to be made aware of proximal availability. @BBGuy 😂😂😂 I wonder if having a statement at the top of profiles letting Pros know that you wish to be contacted etc… is worth considering/ discussing with the powers that be. Just a thought.
Photo removed so the comment doesn’t feel like a pro ad. [CharlieBear]