What to tell new professionals

respectfulrespectful
edited May 2018 in Pro Cuddling

Every so often (like today!) I meet someone who is totally new at professional cuddling, or interested in becoming a professional.

What kinds of things do they most need to know? (I've asked similar things before, but I'd love a fresh perspective!).

And are there any great resources for professionals?

Comments

  • happybearhappybear

    I think every new professional should put themselves out there as a non-pro first- maybe as provisional for at least 5 or 10 cuddles until there professional status goes into effect, and then they could get paid for it, it should be documented through the site. this will provide a pro a few things. this will allow them to see if this is what they could do, enjoy it, have the compassion, patience, thick skin being under the karma microscope, dealing with people who are inconsiderate and have alterior motives, and can give of themselves to others. this would pull out those not serious, and the so many pros that haven't ever cuddled; the ones that are serious will make the cuddle pool that much stronger. a new pro needs to understand what it is to be safe, comfortable with oneself, and communicate effectively, and have clear boundaries. they need to be comfortable socially, and have the ability to understand the relationships of business cuddling.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2018

    @happybear Wanting some one to give a bunch of freebies is a bit much. Only benefits potential customers, and there would be a bunch of people reaching out for the freebies and not pay cus once their status changes there are several new ones giving freebies to choose from . People will wait and pounce on the new ones and not book the paid ones . And while there is some validity in things you bring up that could pose challenges for them, it is up to them to gauge whether they are apt to handling it, and they can learn a lot just from being on the forum speaking with peers and other paid cuddlers. It is not something that the site or site members should be able to impose on them as some sort of litmus test to base an arbitrary number of giving away cuddles on.

  • happybearhappybear

    @pmvines
    I think when someone who wants to be a pro should be required to stay in the nonpro category until a certain amount of substantiated cuddles and not be listed any differently. This will inject more cuddle opportunities for Non-pros, and level the playing field in the pro side. Those contemplating being a pro will be able to learn the craft before Charging for it.The benchmark for gaining pro status will be someone willing to go through those paces. I think the site should engage it to all new pros or any pro that hasnt been paying the site for their cuddles. This will keep all sides fair, reduce new pros that start day one charging market rate.

  • happybearhappybear

    The people that start out as non-pro and cuddle and then jump to pro after they are on for a while are ready to be a pro. They are not starting out unsure, uncomfortable, learning to navicate site while people are paying for it.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    I will respond more tonight (and add my own tips), but quick comment... I think it is a poor assumption that someone is "ready" to go pro after x number of cuddles. I was lucky in that I found a really good and experienced enthusiast to do a couple free cuddles with first. If I had done free cuddles with anyone else, I don't think that would have prepared me as well (so it's not just a matter of someone with good karma). That, in combination with reading a ton in the forums, is what prepared me. You can't really regulate that unless you put together a whole mentor/mentee situation. What's going to protect clients from new people coming and charging market rate with no experience is just more pros. With any new market, it's a lot easier to jump in and do whatever you want, because there's no competition. The economics of the industry will balance out over time...

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited May 2018

    The best cuddles I've ever had were with someone who was very new to it all (I was her third client, and she had started as a pro straight away a week or so before then); I would see her as a "natural cuddler". So I'm not so sure about giving people requirements to prove themselves first. (But I agree with the idea of practicing and maybe giving some free cuddles).

    I'm particularly interested in resources though. Have any professionals here come across something that either really helped them in the beginning, or they saw later and said "I wish I'd found this when I was just starting out!"

    And if there is no such resource, what would you put in it?

    Motivation: I've done plenty of research and I've had quite a few cuddles, but I'm just a client, not a professional myself. And I have a vested interest in being able to help any new pros near me to grow (and keep safe, for that matter).

  • happybearhappybear

    @ubergigglefritz ,
    not sure how a mentor / mentee situation would be set up, i think thats a great path to get great pros, alot of people are natural givers / nurturers, I think some other sites have something similar initial steps, glad your initial experience with a enthusiast were positive and gave you that mentor connection to pursue it further, that should most important. reading the forums should be a pre-requisite too, almost everything is talked about here, every situation discussed, great education tool, and its shows the dynamic, passion of the cc community .

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    How about just one non pro cuddle session for the potential pro Cuddler to be .
    Better yet , How about one PAID session to an already established pro Cuddler. Put the pro Cuddler for just one time as a client , this way there could be a
    More fuller understanding of at least , the , um ,whatever a client has to do . Let the trainee dig in their pocket for 80 bucks .
    Tell me that’s not win win win all .the way around

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    I don't remember what else I wanted to say from the beginning of this thread, except that it doesn't make sense to force people to give away free cuddles before turning pro (I did this with one person by my own decision, but it was also picking someone specific to fulfill that purpose). There are plenty of jobs out there where you "learn the craft" on the job, while being paid, but not at the salary or rate of a skilled person with experience. I think this is much more parallel to cuddling. I believe pros should start out at a lower rate than average and raise their rate as they get more experience and knowledge. But at the same time, it's an open market, and people can charge what they want (and clients can pay $80/hr for people with no experience if they choose to do so). There's a reason why I want to be my own boss and not work for a big company anymore. I want to be in charge of all these decisions for myself. It would definitely push me away if there were arbitrary rules as to what I can charge and when I can charge it.

    @cuddlerforu24 that is a great idea, if only all of us had an option for a local paid cuddler, lol. Once I can afford it, I would love to have my own professional cuddler every couple weeks, but the closest pro cuddler I would possibly see is over 2.5 hours away. ;-)

    @respectful I feel like the best resources for me all the way in the beginning was this forum. I also watched youtube videos and read blogs from very active cuddlists. I basically just read and watched everything cuddle and talked to lots of people on here. I can't even pin it on one thing specifically, other than the forum, since there is a lot of information on here...

  • respectfulrespectful

    @cuddlerforu24 One paid session before becoming a pro is an interesting idea! In a similar vein: maybe at least 1 karma comment (that isn't 1 star)? Which would also allow for people who can't easily find or afford a pro to start off with.

    @Mark Are any of these ideas workable? Or is having requirements to become a professional against the spirit of the site?

  • PinkLipstick22PinkLipstick22

    A lot of the cuddlers on this site started as professionals elsewhere, and I know that before I became a professional over 4 years ago with TSB I was cuddling for fun for about 8-9 years. I think adding hurdles isn't a great idea, especially because these questions are asked when you sign up to become a pro and I would guess they are taken into consideration. Those signing up as pros can and will do their own research into it and try it out with trusted friends, like I did, before becoming pro.

    Some companies will have a new pro cuddler have their first session with an established client of the company that can then be asked about the session and if it went well. It's still paid, though there might be other incentives for the client the pros don't find out about.

    Have there been complaints about new pros from clients? In that case, I would understand the desire to add hurdles against becoming a pro, but if not this sounds like more forum angst from those who don't appreciate the cuddling profession and rarely become clients.
    What is the thinking behind this?

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited May 2018

    @respectful It's unlikely in the medium term at least, partly from a practical perspective. But yes, I'm not sure how I feel about it generally when it comes to the spirit of the website.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @PinkLipstick22 "Have there been complaints about new pros from clients?"

    I have for sure had a client who has told me about their experience with another pro, feeling like she was just there to get the money and get it over with. She cuddled fine, so, as a new cuddling client, he thought she was fine at the time, but we all know that's not the right representation of what this is. As we struggle to get this accepted as legitimate valuable work, pros who give this as people's first experience in cuddling don't help us, and at worst, make client's feel like it was a waste of money. I don't know what the solution is, but the presence of pros like this don't give a good representation of this website.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2018

    There could be multiple factors in place when a client complains about a cuddle session . Could be unrealistic expectations. Could be the client wasn't respectful of boundaries and is mad about it. Could be they didn't care for the body type or clothing. Could be they read karma that wasn't 100 percent in line with their experience (which is one reason karma is subjective and not really all that reliable) . And the cuddler could have had a multitude of stressors , not feeling well , red flags and triggers from the client . So no amount of training or giving free cuddles or whatever is going to change that. It isnt like a trained skilled certification for a professional licensure . No need to over complicate things . It isnt necessary .

  • [Deleted User]Kaiterpillar (deleted user)

    @pmvines I totally agree with you. adding extra hurdles is pointless. there are so many different elements that effect how a client perceives a session (i.e. as a success or failure lol) and forcing women to give cuddles for free before becoming pros can't account for all those other elements. I started with no experience (and still don't have a ton of pro experience) and all my clients are always extremely satisfied and ready to set up another session after our cuddles :)

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Kaiterpillar and plus the whole giving away free sessions will only mean existing paid cuddlers won't get business cus everyone will be seeing the ones doing it for free . Will also result is less people signing up for it which decreases membership to this community, site, and movement . Also with less people signing as paid cuddlers and less people willing to see them in hopes of getting free ones from people waiting to be able call themselves pros, is less income for the site as a whole which I'm sure would impact the future of the site

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod
    edited May 2018

    The whole debate is moot because CuddleComfort has no control over pro cuddlers. We signed up as independent contractors, not as Cuddle Comfort employees. So these kinds of "rules" can't be made for us.

    To return to respectful's original questions:

    There are plenty of resources. One only has to use Google to find them. What things the newbies most should know is, get ready for a fair amount of people who will try to push boundaries. People don't always play by the rules. They don't always even read them.

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