I’ve received messages from straight men who are willing to cuddle with me. I’m gay. I have no issue with cuddling with a straight man. Heck being touched by another is a basic human need. I’m just a little nervous about it.
Screen carefully. Meet in public first.
IMHO, these willing guys are not straight. They are at least bi-curious. There's too much socialization against this.
Nope. Not dealing with this toxicity. See ya in a couple weeks. [netrunner]
@walsh33 I disagree with your point of view and personally feel like this contributes a lot to men feeling touch starved but what do I know
@walsh33 That is simply not true. I have cuddled straight men. One I recall had just recently lost his wife of 50 years. He was very lonely and I think he just couldn’t cuddle a woman so soon after losing his wife. The comfort he got from cuddling me was off the charts (he had never cuddled a man/stranger before) and I think I set him on a cuddle journey after that. If the thought of cuddling another guy in your mind is “gay” you are free to not want to cuddle guys, but your personal opinion does not represent every man. I too was apprehensive at the thought of cuddling men but once I started it’s been great. It’s a somewhat different experience but being able to provide comfort to those that are in need of it is an amazing feeling, regardless of gender.
@CharlieBear Thank you 😊 kind sir. I was trying to convey a similar sentiment but it felt difficult to express.
Straight men cuddling other men is rare on this site. About 4% of men on this site ONLY cuddle other men and virtually all of them self identify as gay. About another 4% of men on this site list “cuddles everyone” on their profile and approximately half of them self identify as gay.
No judgment, just trying to put some actual data to a controversial subject. Approximately 75% of men on here who say in their profile they will cuddle men (either exclusively or they cuddle every) self identify as gay.
@walsh33 “real men”. Really?
@walsh33 Besides just not agreeing with you, I am curious why you feel that male-with-male is "gay," but female-with-female is "different?" Different how?
@WriterGF
I am curious why you feel that male-with-male is "gay," but female-with-female is "different?"
The short answer is biology.
Generally speaking, men are the protectors and providers. They are more aggressive, territorial, and see other men as competition. On the other hand, women are the nurturers and care providers. They carry the baby, and are more intimately involved in caring for it. As the nurturers, it's more natural for women to turn to other women for safety and support. Less so for men.
So a man who doesn't meet your definition of "masculine" is "gay". Thanks for attempting to enlighten us.
But that way of thinking is erroneous, behind the times, and harmful.
@LionsFan You may very well be right about him being bi-curious. And if so, this seems like the perfect opportunity for him to dip his toes into the waters of exploring physically intimacy with another man without it being sexual.
Even though I’m sick of the term “safe space” it does seem to apply here rather nicely.
@walsh33 Yeah but that's not what you said and you know it. You didn't give an opinion. You insulted a group of men and you stated it as a fact, not an opinion.
I have never had that desire to cuddle another man. But I think it's awesome that @CharlieBear has, and I would never think that he's not a real man. In fact admire him for it. Seems to me that he's confident in his masculinity.
@WestsideMarc Follow your own heart. I'm neither recommending it nor saying it's anything to be ashamed of.
In my opinion, M+M cuddles are either for gay guys or bi-curious guys.
@walsh33 You are allowed to have an opinion. But you are stating it as fact when you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. If you are so insecure as to think you would be viewed as gay cuddling another man, then don’t cuddle men. But claiming to have knowledge of others in that way is simply wrong and is not tolerated here. Continuing this will result in a forum timeout or outright ban.
@walsh33 your feeling and opinions are totally valid. I do believe what you are talking about is very much a cultural phenomenon vs biological. It’s way more recent than you would expect too. I did a post years ago on the varying experiences between genders. Here’s some examples of how men used to interact with each other.
http://www.filmsforaction.org/news/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/
@walsh33 - gaylike? This is a platonic site. Am I gay for cuddling my male cat?
I think we should all be allowed to have our opinions and express them. But Walsh, you are one of those guys who likes to tell other guys what a "real" man is and that's just wrong. You are not the authority on what a real man is. You are only an authority on what you are. Now having said all that. Cuddling with another man is not something I would ever do. I don't find men to be safe. I don't like men in general. Yes that probably sounds self hating but what can I say. It's how I feel and that's not something I can explain or change on a whim.
@walsh33 Because a man cuddling another man has absolutely nothing to do with anyone’s sexuality. Just like a man cuddling a woman doesn’t either. Sure, people of any sexual orientation may be cuddling due to attraction, but that is certainly not everyone. Anyone can cuddle anyone else of any gender to simply provide comfort and/or be comforted. You can think otherwise and that’s fine, you are entitled to your opinion and I don’t take offense personally, but this site caters to all sexualities and genders so telling people they are gay because they cuddle men is going to get your comments flagged.
Besides, gay men will cuddle women. Does that mean they are straight? No, of course not.
Although I'm not interested in but have no thoughts toward cuddling men. The word gay means something and it's not what's being said in this thread. Since romance and sex aren't part of this it really couldn't be included in the conversation. I think some of the other terms being thrown around in here are misunderstood like masculine, protector and nurture. Also as see it territorial folks are usually insecure and lack the confidence to in lay claim on anything. Especially if you look a gender in other creatures, but that's neither here nor there.
If you're gay and a straight man is interested in cuddling with you for whatever reason why not. I've cuddle with woman who were gay, it's just cuddling not sex. But i do agree that these guys may not necessarily being completely honest about their intentions. They may be dipping there toe in the water and considering something else. I only say that because it's an odd proposition. But this entire site is an odd proposition in itself and you'll find that the longer you're in here.
But gay guys, i wouldn't question your manhood or realness. Do your thing and Nevermind those who want to be in a box or put you in a box. I only know that from my observations is that men who have sex with women (or claim to or wish too) are heterosexual, but that doesn't have anything to do with them being men.
Not to pile on, but to clarify what I think MOST of us here are trying to say here is there are some totally straight men who are not even bi-curious that are totally comfortable cuddling with another man. The breakdown of percentages of who’s who is irrelevant, even if this fact doesn’t fit your narrative.
@walsh33 You're like one of those old racist grandmas that I grew up with. In my opinion, real men don't go around trying to tell other people that they're not real men, whatever that means. Kids and young adults will roll their eyes at you and treat you as the old time racist grandma you are acting like.
Wonder how many women have lost interest in cuddling the "real man" by now?
Same conversations over and over and over and fucking over again. Also, enough with comparing to women. Every woman is two drinks away from liking women . that's just how it is.
The thing that annoys me the most is he’s basically saying that gay men aren’t real men. I have friends that are gay men and trust me, they are real men. They are upstanding individuals and amazing friends.
I’m sure there are many that have lost interest in the lot of you from all the insults and negative comments I’ve read here. Seems as if few conversations can be had in this forum anymore without people resorting to name calling and character assassinations.
People bring it on themselves. Don’t speak if you aren’t ready to accept the consequences and or intelligently defend yourself.