@lonelytauros
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
Happy summer vibes! 🐬 🎹
Drunker than these fish.
I literally just blocked a client turned friend because they formed an unhealthy attachment to me. Blocking someone is a boundary that just needs to be respected, not understood.
@simsaddict
Blocking someone is a boundary that just needs to be respected, not understood.
This is the truth. It's not always easy to process and accept a "no" from someone, but it's the right thing to do.
What do you do? Move on. No closure is needed. It's over. I was unfriended and blocked on FB by my uncle within the past year. Didn't know until his daughter tagged us both in a post on July 4th. When I realized it, I was like Huh, oh well. My uncle blocked me because HE did a really rotten thing (to me.) He set up plans for me to visit him last year, then wasn't even home when I got there. After I drove 500 miles. And he was out of state for a week. And I confirmed with him 3 days before. Smartly, I had booked a hotel for my stay. I had a GREAT time with my itinerary suddenly blank. I blew up FB with my happiness and pics of my fun adventures, NOTHING mentioned about him. No snark. And he still blocked me. LOL It matters only as much as you want it to. I just move on, and don't let it get to me.
When my other cat passed away, somebody messaged me offering her condolences then blocked me before I could resspond.
@simsaddict understood, the cringe and clingy vibe is not justified and needs to be contained..except I showed very little of that. (And from now on as circumstances allow, will make it my goal to be courteous and show even less)
To cuddle with no expression
Another puzzle. The answer isn't here...I need a time machine.
@starrynitecuds thanks for that,
this is just new for me, I live in please everybody world, and just got an online block shock. And so I've imagined and learned that this happens alot to folks, you have all helped.
Thank you.
People block people here all the time. You offered little backstory so it’s difficult to comment with any level of specificity but if you were a bit clingy maybe they just wanted out and it wasn’t a good fit; teaching moment. And you may find you block people for seemingly minute reasons but good communication of any nature is always healthy, and such as life it’s always a good idea to think twice before messaging and especially creating new posts
The are a small handful of members here that habitually create new posts that are either divisive, totally off the rails, and the ones that agitate me the most are members that post absolutely rubbish topics just to get attention, and then keep commenting on other peoples’ comments no matter how meaningless, just to stay relevant and at the top of the message board, and then complain when they’re called out for it. Then dogpiles ensue. It’s certainly a thing here. I block those people straight up.
Sometimes being blocked means you are fine and the other person is not.
@WestsideMarc Unfortunately, blocking doesn't keep you from seeing their forum posts.
You’re right, and funny that mention that @WriterGF because there are certain times where I will look at the topic and say to myself “ Oh no, here comes another rubbish/idiotic/whatever post from _________ !!!” My track record is pretty fair on this.
@GuitarGar you’ve been blocked I’ve been blocked I think at some point we’ve all been blocked. It might seem like a bruise to our ego we might analyze it and over analyze it, hash and rehash it but at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter unless we let it. As awesome as I am, there are some people that don’t like me and I can accept that because I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Imagine how exhausting it would be trying to please everyone all the time. Best we can do is be ourselves. Some might like you for you and some might not.
omg I am so envious of those of you that are able to not care and just move on. That doesn't seem like it is even in the realm of possibility for me. I try, but yeah I'll be anxious about it the rest of my life.
Write yourself an email about how you feel and consider the act of sending it (to yourself) as letting go of the feelings.
So many other great people to meet! Enjoy!
@WestsideMarc Because I'm not the kind of guy that talks personal interactions without the other person present, Ill just say we cuddled some. And I talk too much.
But dang I'm trying to save my karmas up they got snatched with the block.
Took it like an ex..
Is blocking ever used as a benign way to filter out profiles you've looked at once and don't intend to contact ever? It simplifies the number of profiles you must scroll through for new ones. Speaking about that little magnifying glass feature that pulls up profiles like a parade.
I think my theory covers several of the situations written about
Blocked? Be thankful, as it keeps you from wasting time on a person who might be detrimental to your own well-being.
@boxer Early in my time here, and before we had the "Notes" feature, I used to use blocking as a way to keep some cuddlers from showing up in my searches.
It wasn't because I thought poorly of them, but because there was one reason or other that they and I would not be a good match for cuddling.
If you click on a user that blocked you, it threatens to ban you if you circumvent a block. What counts as circumventing a block? Talking to them in the forums?
@JoyfulHeart EXACTLY!
@GuitarGar
Your profile strikes me as a magnet for cuddlers. Don't give this a second thought
omg I am so envious of those of you that are able to not care and just move on.
Just moving on is called compartmentalization and compartmentalizing is good and bad because on one hand it unclutters the complexities of the modern world, and on the other hand it can also dehumanize certain aspects of you. I don’t care if I get blocked, because normally the feeling is mutual. You are a sensitive person Charlie and that is not a bad thing at all. And while I am very good at compartmentalization, maybe even an expert, by being on this site I have demystified this nagging feeling I have had for a very long time inside me, and only in the last couple of years have I realized that nagging feeling is sensitivity. I still do not completely know what to do with it but I do know I want to understand it more and nurture it. Why? Because it makes me a better person and in turn it makes for a kinder world brick by brick.
However, as @Auroradream pointed out in a different thread if you are sensitive it does not give people the right to pick on you, bully you, insist you move on, or just forget about annoyances. This is the downside of compartmentalization. You move so quickly past obstacles that you fail to slow down and see the human suffering underneath some of those obstacles until the time you see fit to open up the introspective compartment. That compartment has sharp objects like self-reflection, flaws, and other parts of ourselves we do not like to see. I am beginning to understand that for sensitive people the lock for that compartment is always open. Maybe mine will never be open permanently but I sure would like to visit it everyday, take out the better parts and sprinkle it in with the more “practical” compartments.
How did it become demystified for me? By meeting or talking to sensitive people like @Auroradream, @CharlieBear and @sillysassy in addition to a host of others I have cuddled. These types of people amaze me with their openness, kindness, and emotional bravery. I understand how hurtful some comments can be to them and now as I learn and attempt to become more like them it hurts me to see them hurt. I aspire to be more like them because if the world was more like them we would spend less time behind keyboards and screens and more time face-to-face seeking understanding rather than proving our points.
And I know there are some people on here that want to use sensitivity as a means to popularity as a salve for their insecurities but that is not what the people I mentioned do. The people that seek popularity through performative kindness tend to detail their lives and acts and views. It is pretty easy to spot. The people I mentioned ooze sensitivity and kindness through their pores. I wish I could bottle it and drink it and pass it on, but I can’t. Being sensitive, empathetic and kind is hard work in a cruel world that favors aggressive, calculated, scientific facts that easily dismisses empathy and kindness as weak and subjective without calculating the cost to our collective humanity.
So in a nutshell, flippant remarks such as “let it go”, “move on”, and “stop being so sensitive”, while maybe being well-intentioned and seemingly logical to you, are perhaps hurtful verbal spears because it overlooks those messy feelings some are attuned to that others learned to bury as a defense mechanism years ago. Maybe every Pat flippant remark is one more move away from our humanity.
I honor those that are sensitive. I wasn’t always that way and I am still learning to be more like them but I thank the @Auroradream’s, @CharlieBear’s and @sillysassy’s if the world for being touchstones for me of human growth, kindness and hope.
TL;DR I am still an asshole at times but I look to these people as a cosmic vaccine to assholery.
@Mike403 Addressing them specifically in the forums would be one way, yes.
Also, if someone knew that the blocker was active in the forum, they might address things to the room, when they were intended for one person in particular.
Another way would be using any other means of communication available, such as phone numbers or emails, etc.
Creating another account is another example.
Wow, @TheFunCartel, some very deep and interesting thoughts to ponder there.
I wonder if I'm just way behind you on the road to learning to be more sensitive. I at least have learned (I think) to respect those that are sensitive and realize how hurtful words can be. And, I even think that I have learned to refrain from assholery most of the time, whether by sometimes truly not having ahole thoughts and words, or by shutting my mouth and realizing I need to become less of an ahole.
@JoyfulHeart - What if the person doing the blocking did so for reasons unrelated to not wanting to talk to you such as clearing people from the visitors or cuddlers list which blocking is the only way to do it?
@Boxer thanks
@TheFunCartel good points, yes our humanity displays itself in small acts, empathy..we are losing parts
@Mike403 But there's no way for you to know that.
@Mike403 If that's their reason, they're allowed to do that.
There are no rules or restrictions about who we are allowed to block. I could decide to block everyone who's username contained an even number of characters, if I wanted to.