Just asking!! but have you seen an aversion base on ethnicity/gender identity

ineedahug91ineedahug91
edited July 2024 in General

Hey! Just asking for other peoples experience or 3rd party knowledge.. not accusing anyone, but have any of you personally experienced other cuddlers ignoring you or refusal to cuddle due to your gender identity or perceived ethnicity? Given this is a site where we're all just regular folk seeking comfort, (pseudo-) intimacy, and safety so no judgment. Tips would be appreciated too

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Comments

  • TeddyCuddle45TeddyCuddle45

    I'm sure it exists, be foolish to think or say otherwise.
    I doubt anyone will openly admit it.
    Now I can definitely understand some people have preferences. I'm picky about who I'm gonna go to for cuddles, but if someone asks me as long as you ain't a guy or too young. I'm open to cuddles.

  • ZionscallingZionscalling
    edited July 2024

    I honestly wish there was a "Racial preference" on profiles because I constantly get ignored despite knowing the person I reached out to saw my message because they'd come to my profile sometime after I initiate contact with them. At the same time, I could have just an awful profile that warrants 95% of people to straight up ignore my request for even a response. I definitely experienced rejection in real life over my race though, so I'd assume *it should happen online too.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I’ve personally never witnessed an issue with gender or ethnicity on this site. I am mixed Latino/white, most people assume I’m white and I’m a straight male only cuddling women so I may be a bad example. I have however been denied cuddles because I’m married and I’ve witnessed ageism.

  • BuckBuck

    I have been on this site for a long time. I have noticed a difference in who responds or not based on my age. It happens I get it. I accept it and move on. I don't need to cuddle everyone in the world. Only those that I click with. Oddly enough, I have been connecting more with younger cuddlers. It is what it is.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Are you talking about pros ignoring you, or enthusiasts? Because it's almost impossible for anyone to hear back from a female enthusiast. If pros are ignoring you because of race or ethnicity, that's an issue because they aren't supposed to discriminate.

  • TeddyCuddle45TeddyCuddle45

    I can't demonize people for their preferences, that's life, we all have morals, likes, and dislikes, preferences petpeeves, whatever. It definitely does suck when you feel you are being discriminated against, also your location can definitely play a big part in the cuddles that are available to you. The beauty of this site though is there is a cuddler for everyone, sometimes you might have to work a little harder to find them, but they are there, or they just haven't joined yet.

  • TeddyCuddle45TeddyCuddle45

    Gotta with agree WriterGf, those enthusiasts aren't worth the energy,imo.
    Suggesting a public meeting first might help, I don't know, I like to take to people for a while before I commit to a cuddle. I'm still pretty new to this whole thing, and I'm not a pro so I can't give too much advice, only encouragement.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Also always a good idea, even with pros, to check how recently they logged in. People create accounts here but often do not hang around.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @WriterGF

    If pros are ignoring you because of race or ethnicity, that's an issue because they aren't supposed to discriminate.

    How do you police that though? You can tell a pro that they can’t put anything discriminatory in their profile but they’re going to be allowed to cuddle with who they want or don’t want to cuddle with.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Like teddycuddle45 I feel certain it exists. I've never had anyone tell me in DMs that they were having a hard time getting a cuddle due to perceived ethnicity or gender identity. I have seen other threads like this.

    Like Morpheus I have seen ageism in profiles and in the forum. Oddly enough, one forum thread had a woman indirectly putting down older people, even tho the reason for her participating in the thread was because she felt put down, lol.

    That kinda leads me to believe that some people are good with some types of bias as long as you word it a certain way.

    So many people say they have sent messages with no response (mostly guys say this, but also a few pros and also me) that it is hard to say what it is all about.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited July 2024

    I don’t cuddle dead people. They smell and are icky, and to be honest I am not a fan of putrefaction. So yeah, I have an aversion.

    Other than that dead people respect boundaries.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    My guess is that the number of reasons that people don't respond is nearly equal to the number of people who don't respond. If any of us were to correctly guess which reason corresponds to which person, it would be an indication that it was our day to play the lottery.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I'm sure i have, we never discussed it because they ignored me

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @TheFunCartel

    Have you ever actually been around decaying human bodies?

    I have.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Have you ever actually been around decaying human bodies?

    Yeah, he just dropped out of the presidential race.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Have you ever actually been around decaying human bodies?

    I have.

    The lengths some people will go to find an enthusiast.

  • TeddyCuddle45TeddyCuddle45

    I've often wondered what's the deal with all the inactive accounts ?
    Somethings we will never know the answers too, why am I always hungry and hour after eating Chinese food, why do birds poop on a freshly washed car, why do I pay so much taxes and nothing gets fixed, mysteries of the universe.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    All jokes aside, have you been around decaying human bodies? I worked at the LA County Coroners office in the early to mid 90s. I’ve seen some insane things and yes I’ve smelled dead decaying human bodies and you’re correct, they do smell and are icky.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited July 2024

    @morpheus yes I have. I was briefly a morgue assistant in college when I toyed with the idea of being a coroner. I was quickly disabused of that idea.

    It was an intern situation through the careers office. I only had the idea because I believed myself to be misanthropic at the time and believed this to be the perfect match for my young personality. After my brief brush with dead people I realized I had only overdosed on Moliere in Theater 101.

  • SolarisSolaris
    edited July 2024

    @Zionscalling yeah, is it pros or enthusiasts? If it's enthusiasts, good luck getting any of them to reply. If they even look at your profile you're doing better than most.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited July 2024

    Pros are required to specify that they cuddle everyone in that setting on their profile and they cannot be discriminatory in their bio or messaging. But ultimately they choose who they cuddle and they are not forced to cuddle anyone they do not want to.

    Enthusiasts of course choose whoever they cuddle and be more specific in their profiles.

  • AlexysDanyelleAlexysDanyelle

    I don't have proof, however I find it entertaining when I see complaints of no enthusiasts ever responding yet here I am, oftentimes reaching out first, to receive silence. Now I assume it's either my color or my weight, but who knows. On to the next! 💜

  • TeddyCuddle45TeddyCuddle45

    Well i hope the op has better luck in the future, and gets more cuddles than they could imagine POSITIVITY

  • JubalJubal

    @TheFunCartel holy crap, I just spit my coffee up - that was hilarious!!

    Yeah, he just dropped out of the presidential race.

  • [Deleted User]Fematheist (deleted user)

    @AlexysDanyelle ~ I find that entertaining, too! lol Great profile, by the way! :) I enjoyed reading it, and really got a sense of you as a person!

    From what I've gathered, yes, there is a definite, ongoing "thing" here about race mixing, age mixing, and any other kind of mixing. No need to ignore the GINORMOUS ELEPHANT CARTWHEELING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, right?

    However, I can't throw stones. With my rather clear affinity toward hefty, kind, talkative, hairy, strong, older white men, who am I to judge others for upholding their preferences? lol

  • AimeeJAimeeJ

    @Zionscalling My reactions viewing your profile:
    Wow what a great smile! Not terribly far away..
    Pets: Allergic. Aww I have three cats. Even though I'm not hosting at the moment, I think someone with cat allergies would be negatively impacted by cuddling with a fur baby mom 😁

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    A couple of old men here being disrespectful and joking about… Younger people might be joking about your old decaying bodies lol.
    Of course I mean that in only the kindest way. Age is relative.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @g_w_t_w Relax. I am not exactly young and I suspect the younger people are making fun of. The joke is on everyone because we all get old and decay. This was not disrespectful. It was based off a post I made about not cuddling dead people. And a public figure that fit that description was an apt joke when someone asked if I ever saw or was around a dead body. Context is everything.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited July 2024

    Exactly, so don’t make fun of old people, you are also considered old to some. I didn’t like the joke and I’ll relax or not, only if I want to. It didn’t seem appropriate to me.

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    No way of ever knowing. If a pro doesn’t reply could be your message was buried until an avalanche of messages or there’s something they don’t like.
    Can’t read their minds so no way of knowing. I don’t waste my time thinking about it beyond a few moments. I move on and reach out to a different cuddler.

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