Teacher Concerns

[Deleted User]Meg321 (deleted user)
in General

I posted this in the pro section but no one had answered... I am concerned that I could get fired if a student or admin finds my profile, concerned that this website will be seen as a hook up site and get fired. ESPECIALLY if I am Pro status.

What say you? Teachers, weigh in....

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Comments

  • Happyhugs47Happyhugs47

    This is very tricky Meg because I would be concerned as well...it could raise some red flags but the only thing that I could think of is just not have a picture in your profile like you do and always ask for a picture from the potential client first just to rule out any possibility that both you and the client do not know each other and have a fake name for the profile, even change the area to a couple of towns away. Or another option possibly would get certification for this type of therapy, that way if something does pop up you have documentations to back it up?
    To be honest, only my boyfriend and best friend know that I do this...if anyone else found out they would think this is just a hook up site as well. Believe me I know what you are concerned about is different, but I am here if you wanna talk :)

    I am sending massive hugs Meg! I am sorry!

  • [Deleted User]Meg321 (deleted user)

    Ooooooo yikes! That's so risky for me. I think I might need to delete my profile. Oh man... Thank you, though. I appreciate your response!

  • Happyhugs47Happyhugs47

    You’re welcome! I’m so sorry for your situation.
    Or maybe just I think there’s an option in settings to make your profile hidden…or at least until you make a decision as to deleting it or not.
    🤗

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Also be sure to use a Google voice phone number. That’s true for any social media interaction imo!
    If you’re a Pro, recommend using a credit card rather than your bank debit card for the site 15% charges,
    Even require a video chat before meeting.
    The site makes it clear that it’s platonic cuddling but yes, people (even many members) don’t buy it.

  • VitaminJVitaminJ

    I am a former HS teacher and I know it would have been a problem if my administration had discovered my profile or worse if my students had discovered it. They would have passed it around or loaded into one of their group Snapchats and it would have been a huge distraction. The sad thing is we are not paid well and need to supplement our income and by nature we are caring nurturers so it’s such a good fit.

    I personally would remove identifying photos, names, and use a Google voice. Asking for photos and live chat with members before cuddling is good practice anyways. And go into your settings and make your profile “Blocked from public search.” It’s not the cuddle clients who would necessarily expose you it’s the random searches. But if you write something into your profile about your reasons for not showing photos and have a number of other relevant profile pics without your face, you should be able to proceed with caution. I’m sure there are other teachers who are LMT’s etc who provide therapeutic touch.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited July 2024

    There is a broad spectrum that goes from “convenient” to “private” and it all depends on where you want to live on that spectrum. The default setting in America today is “extremely convenient” and “zero privacy”. People download apps to their smart phones with even looking at what all information that app is going to collect and send back to the app’s creator.

    I intentionally choose to live much further in the direction of privacy. I use burner credit cards to prevent credit card companies from collecting and selling my purchase history to their “business partners” (aka anyone who is willing to pay them for that information).

    https://www.fastcompany.com/90490923/credit-card-companies-are-tracking-shoppers-like-never-before-inside-the-next-phase-of-surveillance-capitalism

    When you become a pro, you will have to post a photo of your face. There is software that will slightly alter your photo so a person would still easily recognize you but it would make it much more difficult for facial recognition software to find your photo online. The software works by SLIGHTLY changing your image on a couple of key parameters (such as the distance between your eyes or the length of your nose) just enough that an algorithm would determine you must be someone else.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited July 2024

    Educators, be aware. School districts use employment contracts specifying that an employee may be let go “for cause” if they do annything that undermines or significantly distracts from the learning environment. The focus isn’t on the employee behavior, but on the reactions of students, parents, and other community members. Those can be hard to control or predict. .

  • UREverythingUREverything

    For any profession where you feel uneasy about people spreading your business around, dont do it. This is a business of cuddling and unless its becomes your bread and butter its not worth it.
    Maybe one day circumstances will change, but until then weigh the options.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited July 2024

    @JohnR1972
    I’m curious to know about the software to make slight changes to help prevent image search facial recognition.
    And burner credit cards.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @Meg321 first if all thank you for being a Pro and welcome to the site!!

    I’m sure this could be a big concern depending on the town of your employment and how conservative/progressive your specific district is.

    There are some amazing people who work for the schools here in CO and do in fact TEACH boundary and consent to the students. It seems like there’s not an easy black/white answer for this. I’m not a teacher but wanted to give a shout out and a welcome. 😊

    @justjennn might have some insight into this.

  • justjennnjustjennn

    Hi @sillysassy ! Thanks for the tap!

    I have worked in our local school district for 6 years now. Everyone at the school that I teach at knows I am a cuddle professional aka the designated campus hugger! They love it. All of the students know who they can come to for safe hugs. In the upper grades, 5th through 8th, I teach an entire boundaries and consent workshop. For the lower grades, kinder through 4th, I teach small snippets of boundaries and consent pieces during playground disagreements and classroom squabbles. If YOU position yourself as a professional and you teach your staff what you're actually doing, they'll respect you and your position here, as well as there. Reach out if you have any questions!

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I’m sure you wouldn’t talk about your job or profession in general but just in case - I would also not give any specifics about your teaching location or school to any potential Cuddler no matter how safe/sane they seem.
    In general, I never give any identifying information about myself to anyone, No company name either.
    Maybe claim a totally different profession.

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    I'm a teacher.
    I decided a long time ago to let them talk, whoever "they" are. Don't offer. Don't explain. Don't excuse. Let them figure it out and grab the pitchforks if they want. I was INVITED to teach because of my impressive education and experience and squeaky clean record.
    Nothing else is anyone's business and if they want to dig they can deal with their own assumptions.
    Teachers are downtrodden enough, they shouldn't have to Add self policing to the anxiety and misery. I actually find cuddling to be a far more rewarding and less corrupt business lol
    I'll be headed back to the private sector of education if I return from recovering over the summer. That's just me and my values though, and freedom, integrity, and autonomy are high up on the list.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @biancalovecraft
    Great comment, so much admiration for teachers!!
    And so sorry they are not compensated nearly enough for what they do.

  • VitaminJVitaminJ

    I Love these strong dgaf teacher voices! I wish I had been more like @justjennn and @biancalovecraft during my career! I’m taking baby steps to such bada$$-ness I suppose just learning which friends I can trust with the knowledge.

  • HoosCuddlingHoosCuddling

    This is a tricky one. @Meg321, only you know your school/district/county and the leaders and parents. If someone found out you were on CC, would they let you explain it, would they take the time to understand that CC is a platonic-only site with very good safeguards against being used for illegal activities?

    Or, would they shriek "Won't somebody please think of the CHILDREN!" and fire you without any further investigation?

    I'm a client, not a pro. But my face is on here, as well as my geographic location. If co-workers or my boss found my profile, I might be slightly embarrassed. But it wouldn't put my job in jeopardy.

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    @g_w_t_w thanks, and I had nothing but respect and admiration for public teachers before, now that I've been in the trenches with them, I have profound pity for them as well, especially if they are deep in and have been stomped all over.

    I could not have enjoyed a second of it if I wasn't willing to walk away with both middle fingers up, and no teacher should be afraid to (talking to you @VitaminJ )

    Teachers are generally, or at least start out as ambitious, awesome, altruistic people, who are also beautifully educated well-spoken and can command room. They can do whatever they want! If some idiotic district wants to harass and can them because they cuddle of all things, let them. Lol.
    But same goes if they were "hOoKiNg uP"
    As if you get a job and it now commands your sex life. Because children. How did they all get here again? Lol
    None. Of. Your. Business!

  • UREverythingUREverything

    One of the things we forget is how much can be different from state to state. From the lingo to the neighbors we have.

    Some states are guided by conservative values more so then others.
    To me considering somebodies environment is a big deal that gets lost in translation so many times in this forum.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    While many careers hold that concern, i can see why teachers are especially sensitive to it. But it sucks that some teachers feel they can't cuddle like they want to, hook up like they want to, sell whatever like they want to, only fans if they wish....as long as it's legal and not affecting the children. Sometimes teachers have to go out of there way to hide how they look (build) in order to have those jobs. I don't know the answer for a pro, i think it sucks either way.

    but i keep my identity private to the majority, im bashful......

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @g_w_t_w
    There are a couple of apps for creating burner credit cards for use online. My personal favorite is MySudo which gives you multiple phone numbers, emails, browsers and burner credit cards. There is also Privacy.com which only gives you burner credit cards. And finally, there is IronVest which is similar to MySudo but they disabled the burner credit card feature this past January and said it is coming back better “this summer” but no details about what “better” means or exactly when the feature is coming back.

    Regardless of which app you choose, they are work about the same way. Say you are shopping a website and ready to checkout. Your total comes to $75.47. Rather than giving them your real credit card number, you go to MySudo and create a 1 time use credit card that has $75.47 on it. MySudo will charge your real credit card $75.47 plus about 2.7% for a service fee. You then go to the website and use your 1 time use credit card. If that website is ever hacked and your credit card number is stolen, it doesn’t matter because it was a 1 time use card and your real credit card number is safe. As an added bonus, your real credit card only sees you spent about $78 on MySudo, they do not see where you actually spent the money so it protects your privacy.

    Regarding the image altering software, I realized after I posted that comment that the software I saw demonstrated might not be available to the general public. It is a website rather than an app. I will do some checking and see if there is a version of it available to the public.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @JohnR1972
    Thanks for taking the time to share information, I didn’t know these even existed! Definitely going to try this.

  • ecuddlebliss21ecuddlebliss21

    Perhaps another alternate to burner credit cards is buying the disposable Gift Cards with cash for the balance in major retail stores. The only fee involve for use is when you purchase the gift cards.

  • bobadevoteebobadevotee

    @justjennn what the heck? What school district is this? I had to do annual trainings for my school district, and we were all explicitly forbidden from any physical contact with students unless it serves a legitimate educational purpose, like if a PE teacher has to redirect you for an exercise, or if a student needs physical assistance. Hugs were 100% out of the question and not allowed. Too many predators in the school system that have historically taken advantage of this by having inappropriate “hugs” with their students. We aren’t even allowed to give them gifts on their birthdays because, again, many pedophiles give gifts to children in the school system as a way to “favor” them and groom them.

    It’s actually concerning that your district allows any of what you described.

    OP, if you’re a professional and keep up on your annual required trainings, I’m sure you know why none of this would ever be allowed. Boundaries on physical contact are in place for a reason. Many predators get jobs in the school system on purpose, and we need these rules to protect our kids.

    Anyways, back to your original question. Depends on your district’s policies. You could be seen as violating code of conduct in some way. No one can really answer this for you. You need to comb through your local policies.

  • [Deleted User]donhulio (deleted user)

    @bobadevotee, sounds like you and @justjennn were/are in very different education cultures. Maybe Jenn's is a smaller community that hasn't been poisoned by the venom of pedophiles.

    In any case, it's probably not necessary to be so concerned (even horrified, as you sound) about someone who is so loved by her community. 🙂

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I’m an adjunct college professor. Outside of my day job, I teach a college course a semester. The vast majority of my students are over 18 and I rarely physically touch any of them. Maybe handshakes or fist bumps. I also occasionally substitute teach for public schools grades 2-12 and same, very little touching. The little kids will innocently try to hug you sometimes but I’ve masters the turn sideways and give them a hi-five move.

  • bobadevoteebobadevotee

    @donhulio smaller community does not mean it’s not part of the larger school district. There’s other smaller schools in my district. They still all have to comply with the district.

    Also, size of the community has no bearing on whether or not pedos are there. In fact, that usually means it’s easier to abuse children. Quite a few of my friends were abused as kids in small remote towns where it was harder to find help.

    Your comment really shows you don’t work in this field, nor do you understand the sheer level of impact this has had on schools and communities. The exact problem is that predators in schools usually ARE loved by their communities. There are legally required annual trainings that go through this data with teaching professionals. Of course I’m horrified. Because districts with no policy on physical contact are districts that pedos love to work in. You truly don’t understand until you have to be the one talking to kids dealing with this disgusting behavior at school, where they should be safe.

  • bobadevoteebobadevotee

    @Morpheus you’re a responsible instructor who follows protocol. We had the same physical touch policy when I worked with college students. Even a touch on the shoulder was a reportable offense because I’m a professional in a position of power, not their peer.

    Regarding K-12 schools, it’s flabbergasting and a massive red flag to me that anyone is trying to excuse excessive physical contact with minor children in a school setting. The rules are in place for a reason. This is not an “education culture” debate.

  • [Deleted User]donhulio (deleted user)

    @bobadevotee you're absolutely right I don't work in that field or know much about it.

    You make interesting points about small communities and more. Thanks for explaining more.

    It was surprising to me to come to the realization that sexual abuse by women is a prevalent issue. I didn't envision that when I wrote my previous comment. But this article makes it clear that it really is. And sexual abuse/etc. obviously deserves extreme concern.

  • [Deleted User]TheDreamWeaver (deleted user)

    @biancalovecraft - I couldn’t agree with you more. You go!!!

  • BrianOceanBrianOcean

    This post has unintentionally touched on a very deep issue that really could ease the anxiety in many people if they are willing to reflect on how they think.

    We consistently get what we expect in this life. That will always be the case-Expectancy is an extremely powerful magnet.

    The OP obviously expects this could be a problem and was immediately validated that -Yes-it could be a problem. Someone may “Find Out” or “Assume” it is more than a cuddling site [a theme that has unfortunately been very prevalent lately it seems]

    We had another Teacher who reflects a completely indifferent attitude to what others may see, think or assume.
    One has already deleted their account and the other is someone I would probably enjoy cuddling with as I concur with that type of free spirited thinking.

    One teacher is clearly comfortable with what they are doing on CC and the other is not.

    I am completely aware of some of the ramifications of being a teacher in this day and age. We should all be prudent in any social profile we have out here. Some are extravagant and some are subdued. Each person decides how they would like to present themselves.

    It is extremely sad however-that fear of what others may think would cause someone to delete a profile they took time to create and keep them from doing something they obviously enjoyed.

    If you foolishly and fearfully give others power over you and the decisions you make-they will gladly exercise it.

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