A small website like this that takes payments uses a third-party payment processor. They specialize in handling payments, so they have the security and technical staff to securely store sensitive information such as credit card numbers. And the insurance for when they do get hacked.
The second chair oboeist was my band cuddler. Anything to get her to stop playing.
This is even better, before most of you were even born but I was a sr in hs.
@g_w_t_w thank you!!! 🙌🏼 💖 Love that song... and your last comment hit the nail on the head 😌👌🏼
@g_w_t_w THIS!! I couldn't have said it better myself! It's like pulling teeth sometimes to get basic information and one clear pic without sunglasses!! I don't care that you have a wife(or why you are here as long as you pay me up front and respect my boundaries) I don't know any of the people you know. I'm not trying to scam you. I'm not really sure what the scam would actually be?? I don't care about any of this,I respect that people want or need discretion but no one seems to care that I need to feel SAFE. I personally won't go to someone's home. I don't want to end up never leaving anyone's basement. It still boggles my mind that I'm letting someone into my home( now you know where I live) and most of the time they aren't even willing to tell me their real name let alone any other identifying information...of course no one is forcing me to do this line of work either. We are all taking risks.
All that stuff @g_w_t_w said...
Preach, woman!
When it comes to privacy , it the risk we all take on this website .
@WriterGF @SunsetSnuggles Forget the AT&T hack. The National Security Agency (NSA) was hacked and not just their parking lot security cameras. The NSA’s “Cyber Arsenal” (the most powerful collection of hacking tools on earth) was hacked and stolen.
If hackers can gain access to the most sensitive data of the world’s most secretive (and probably best funded) spy agency, I suspect hacking CC’s website would be significantly easier 😂
https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2019/05/stolen-nsa-hacking-tools-were-used-in-the-wild-14-months-before-shadow-brokers-leak/
Also, wouldn’t it be discriminatory for CC to require a government ID to join because marginalized communities have a harder time getting a government issued ID?
https://www.democracydocket.com/analysis/how-id-requirements-harm-marginalized-communities-and-their-right-to-vote/
From the article…
“ A plethora of barriers to obtaining IDs plague millions of Americans.
For some, possessing IDs may seem commonplace and easy to accomplish. A piece of plastic buried deep in a wallet, and often taken for granted. In reality, a multitude of significant barriers exist that keep people from acquiring identification, which has increasingly become a necessity in everyday life. ..
Maintaining identification is disproportionately burdensome for minority and low income communities.
Hm… can afford $100/hr for a cuddle session but can't afford $10 for a state ID?
@cde123 Cuddle Comfort is, and always has been, an enthusiast-led website. For many years professional cuddlers were not permitted. Professional cuddling now represents the majority of cuddling activity, but the site has stated repeatedly that enthusiast cuddling remains at its heart.
Part of that ethos is that cuddling should be accessible to everybody. And that means everybody. And that means that any compulsory form of ID would require a complete change of ethos.
I don't know what a 'state ID' is. But I would guess, that - even if you have a crisp $10 note - it's not that easy to obtain with no address and no photo. In any case, even if ID was required it is unlikely that the site would accept such an obscure document.
I'm glad everyone agrees everyone takes risks in this. I don't think risks are comparable between pro or the person seeking the service. Everyone takes risks involving there information and this site. Money versus personal and physical safety are different for everyone. The cuddler and provider are at risk to each other. I'm not sure there is a way to identify all the risks but we have to be very careful to all of them from everyone, no matter how they look, how they charge, how they pay or where they cuddle.
@CuddleDuncan I understand @cde123 's point.
In the US, each state issues drivers licenses, or, for individuals who either cannot qualify for a drivers license, or just don't want one, an official identification card - i.e. a "State ID". It is valid for all identification purposes, including purchasing alcohol or TSA check-in for air travel. It's not an obscure document at all and yes, you do need to provide adequate identifying information to the DMV or DPS office where you go to get it. But the dollar cost of getting an ID card vs a drivers license is quite low.
So now you have me curious as to what forms of ID are issued in the UK?
@Jubal here in the UK we use passports and driving licences. I appreciate that state ID isn't obscure at all in the US, but it's a very domestic instrument which isn't as recognisable internationally as passports and driving licences. CC is based in the UK and has members all over the world as you know: a US-centric perspective - which often does have practical usefulness - isn't especially relevant for site policy matters.
We have a new ID here, since the last government introduced a photo ID requirement for voting. I haven't seen the figures on how it affected voting patterns (we had an election quite recently) although it very obviously didn't affect the overall result. I don't know how you get it but it is free.
The number of people who don't have at least one of the 'big two' is pretty modest. I haven't encountered a British person without a passport in decades. Neither of these documents is especially cheap but it is more than possible that the social benefits system has a routine for helping people obtain them.
@CuddleDuncan So I'm inferring that someone in the UK who is unable or unwilling to get a driver license (for whatever reason), then usually gets a passport as official ID? Interesting.
The proportion of folks in the US who have a passport is probably very low in comparison to the UK. Yes, the cost of getting a passport is very high in comparison to a state ID card.
edit hm, just had a thought. Based on what you're saying, I suspect that my state-issued firearms license, while perfectly valid as ID here in the US, probably wouldn't be recognized for ID purposes in the UK if I were traveling there (yes, I understand that I would have a passport if I ever flew there).
@Jubal actually it's the other way around - most people get a passport as a child because virtually everybody goes on a cheap holiday abroad sooner or later. Sometimes its for a school trip. If you're much over 18 not having a passport isn't really a Thing. I would guess the main exception is elderly people.
I live in London and a lot of people here don't have driving licences because they do not have, and likely never will have, a car. Expensive and in London, unneccesary.
In other words the ubiquity of passports and driving licences in the UK and US is inverted.
oh WOW for sure, all the answers you ever had a question about. Those who think only men are the bad actors in this morality play are woefully misinformed. I am totally amazed that cuddlers come to a man's home. On dating sites they are afraid to meet at a restaurant. Amazing. I always start a cuddle with sitting on the couch and talking for 5-10 minutes and the first thing I say is "thank you so so much for coming to my home, it really means alot" and it really does. Ya'll take care out there..............
My only issue was showing my id . I prefer people not to know my last name. My last name would pretty much enable them to have all information on me… **Although I should edit I also have a camera on my house.. so I have your plate from the street.. maybe that would be worth an investment.. i figure the police can look people up from there although I have never needed to do it for a cuddle.
@wanacuddle85 I can understand that. Your profile says you host -- do you host at your home or elsewhere? Because if you're doing it at your home, they can get loads of info on you just from having your address.
this whole issue of "who are you" is a tough one. The woman puts her physical self in potential harm's way and the man has zero idea of who's in the home. I really don't know ?? I can see both sides clearly. as for why don't you get a hotel room ? is easy to say but when the cuddle is already expensive, for me it's out of the question when I have a lovely interesting home.
I have only ever hosted or if out-of-towners. I feel comfortable meeting at a hotel. I don’t go into strangers homes for a first time cuddle. I am shocked at how many very young women - sometimes only 18 years old - will go into a strange man’s home. That is insanity. Someone has to prove they are safe before I’m going into their home. Too many untrustworthy men on this site, sorry (And I will generalize). I’ve been around way too long to be that stupid.
oh ! my goodness......maybe, maybe not !
@WriterGF I host in hotels every Saturday… once I know a client I will let them come to my house after.. I feel hotels are safer for myself with cuddlees.. if either party starts screaming someone is going to show up at the room. I feel like it’s better to meet on neutral ground along with as @Jack62 said cuddles are expensive, plus if they are expected to pay hotel, for a few hours… it’s too much.. if I grab the room I can host a few people the same night and pay the room and still make abit. It’s a win win for everyone.
@wanacuddle85 Makes sense.
I always offer to meet for lunch. I came up with a cute sweet way to meet, at a Publix, go shopping together or sit down for a pastry and coffee. Not necessarily lunch, but anytime.
C.C. mods be like:
Somewhat off topic, but two general CC policies that should be implemented:
1 - Every account should require E-Mail and/or cell text verification. If you're not wiling to do that, you shouldn't be allowed to join. This is the most basic identity confirmation done by most legit sites, and would catch many fakes.
2 - During the sign-up process, the site should specifically ask all new members "Do you intend to charge a fee for members to cuddle with you? If so, you must become a Pro." And then lead the user down the Pro signup route.
I cannot tell you how many times I'm chatting with a new person in my area, welcoming them to the site, trying to make a plan to meet, and then I -always- ask: "So you're an Enthusiast and don't intend to charge for cuddling, right?" And that always leads into the "Oh...I didn't know! Thanks for telling me. How do I become a Pro?" conversation.
People who have not been E-Mail or text verified should remain invisible. People who want to be Pros need to be told by the site DURING SIGNUP about that requirement, and remain hidden until they are approved as a Pro. Both of these would save a lot of confusion about whether or not the person you're talking to is -real- and/or intends to charge you.
Tons of people who end up banned are:
1 - Repeat offenders who were removed and returned due to lack of basic identity verification. Or just the usual scammer types that flock to all the sites like this, dating or otherwise.
2 - People who intentionally (or rarely, unintentionally) attempt to charge while not listed as Pro.
Implement the ideas above, and you help stem the problems from both issues.
Since we’re discussing verification again, I’ll throw my two cents in.
The bare minimum this site could do is a “verified” account option. Not mandatory. Just an option. So many sites have this. LinkedIn, Couchsurfing, Instagram, etc.
It’s a better strategy to implement over time if you’re afraid of scaring all clients off by mandating verification. When you do optional verification, it inevitably causes people to gradually warm up to it, for people to choose on their own to not book with unverified accounts, and for social pressure to build up over time to encourage others to verify. You might see some people leave the site, but not nearly as many compared to if you made it mandatory for all users.
Personally, I prefer mandatory for all users. Especially since us pros are verified by default, and the site does have our real names and financial information. But, an optional verification is the bare minimum and gives people some choices.
@bobadevotee I had not even considered “optional verification” but you described it perfectly, and I would be all for it. You explained all of the reasons why quite eloquently. 😀