Any tips on getting the women to cuddle?

Hi all, new here, I was just looking for tips on getting the women on here to cuddle, how do you ask them? What do you say? I only message the ones with professional on their profile if it really matters, haven't really figured out how to get them to do it.

Comments

  • edited May 2018

    I'd start by filling out your profile a little. There is virtually nothing there right now. If you don't want to post a photo of yourself, find a photo of something that represents who you are, even if it just something like a tree or a landscape.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @RCasey8890 - You may want to look back in some of the old forum threads and see what others have to say about how to approach women on this site. Can't remember specific thread headings at the moment. I'm sure others can chime in here...

    And, in my opinion I think it is best to not approach it with the attitude of "getting" them (the women) to do it. Cuddling is not something that most women are going to be coerced, badgered or convinced to do if they aren't feeling a connection with you. I can only speak from my own experience as an enthusiast (non pro/non paid) cuddler, and say that I like it when people are friendly and ask me things to get the conversation started. Think about how you might approach a potential friend or romantic interest in a social situation. Find out what you have in common. Tell her something interesting about yourself. Don't approach an enthusiast with the intention of cuddling right away. Be patient. If you must have cuddles NOW... today or on command... then yes, probably best to spend your energy communicating with pro cuddlers.

  • There are some relevant posts about how to approach other cuddlers listed here.

  • I'm not too sure if "getting someone to cuddle " is necessarily the approach that will appeal to a potential cuddler . I realize you undoubtedly don't intend this , but it comes off as a little coercive. To address the question, there really isn't a formula to it . Just realize that even though this is a cuddle site it doesnt mean everyone wants to cuddle everyone . There are boundaries and comfort zones and personalities present and accounted for. However if you wish to bypass the getting to know someome aspect then message a local paid cuddler. You must still treat them with respect and be aware of their boundaries and comfort zones however they will be more open and available to cuddling some one they don't already have a friendship with .

  • Personally, I like when someone contacts me to have some things in their profile...

    I also like when they start with something that lets me know they’re interested in potentially scheduling, but want to make a connection first — something like, “Hey, I really like your profile. What kind of cuddle style (or movies, or other mutual interests) do you like? How do I go about scheduling an appointment with you?”

  • I ask because I normally just say hi and ask when they would be available to cuddle, but it feels weird, like Im scheduling a doctors appointment. Though Id also feel weird messaging them like Im on a dating site. I was just asking whats normal, because Im not sure about it either way. As for the pictures, Im only messaging professionals, I feel like if I'm paying for it, my profile shouldn't really matter. Though to be honest I completely forgot I even had an actual profile on here.

  • @RCasey8890 There are both paid and non paid cuddlers on here, and the paid cuddlers will have a thing on the profile that says p and will say they are a professional cuddler and payment for services are what is expected. Then there are people who are not, and they will not have the p on their profile. So if you are sending these messages just saying hi when are you available to a non paid cuddler that will come off as creepy. However you don't have to as you say treat it as a dating site either . Just be friendly, be polite, and try to build rapport first. Never make the first thing you say about getting together to cuddle if you want them to respond to you. As for the paid cuddlers, even a hello how are you, you seem interesting and like someone i would like to see for an appointment, would help with getting a response. They are offering a paid service, but they are still people and need to not feel like a commodity like you on craigslist buying a bicycle. Hope this helps.

  • edited May 2018

    Well, cuddling is an interesting mix of things. It’s about finding the right mutual connection — even if it’s a professional service.

    As long as I have a picture beforehand, I don’t mind whether there’s a picture in the profile (but I need a picture for reliably identifying you!). But I would never discriminate based on a picture.

    The profile information isn’t necessary, but I think it does help create a good fit between client and pro. For example, when I’ve seen a therapist in the past, I’ve looked at their online profile to see how I feel about them... but before scheduling they need information about me. Because they might not have the right skills to help me with my situation. Or, even with hairdressers... if I’m getting a haircut, I don’t necessarily care how good you are at coloring hair (and vice-versa).

    And I can almost guarantee * that you’ll have a better experience if your motivations are aligned. :)

    • I can’t actually guarantee this. ;) But that is my gut feeling!
  • I generally reply to everyone, but am honestly less enthusiastic about the "when can I book you" messages, lol. Try talking about what you're looking for in cuddles and what brought you to the site. :-)

  • edited May 2018

    Another thing too to consider. When someone contacts an escort, aka prostitute, to see for an appointment, typically they are not trying to get to know the person or build rapport. All they want to know is how much, where you at, when can i come, , and are you law enforcement. So when i hear people making first contact with folks on here and essentially saying the same thing minus are you Uncle LEO, it gives me that same sort of vibe. I am not sure how the women on here feel, however i can see how this approach would hinder desired results.

  • I agree with @pmvines, too. I don’t mind if they mention scheduling (in addition to something else), just because I have had conversations go on for DAYS with the same person that are just:

    how r u?

    And that strikes me as really dating-site-y. And I start to question why they are contacting me...

  • edited May 2018

    @RCasey8890 you said "I feel like if I'm paying for it, my profile shouldn't really matter. " Now you are talking about something different than your original question. Your first post was about asking what kind of approach is effective. What is effective may bear no relation to "how things should be" as you see it.

    If a pro is going to invite a man she's never met into her personal space, she wants to have some kind of a feel for who he is. Is he laid back or aggressive? Reliable or a flake? Can he carry on a conversation, and does he enjoy during so, or is he so taciturn that conversation is like pulling teeth? Is he considerate or is he pushy and entitled? Is he seeking recreation and relaxation, or serious therapy that might be better left to someone credentialed in another field? Just because they are getting paid doesn't make pros any less concerned about their own safety and comfort. Nor should it. In my experience, the only pros who _don't _care about these things are the mercenary ones who just need an infusion of cash right away. Not the best cuddle experience to have.

    Knowing this, I fully fleshed out my profile. I usually send a friendly, somewhat chatty introductory message. This approach is effective enough that I have met and cuddled with something like 18 pros from this site. Although there have always been some pros that don't return messages, I've rarely had difficulty scheduling. So in my experience, this is what works for booking sessions easily. Given all the input in this thread,you now know both the how and the why. :-)

  • @pmvines That was my experience before I even was a pro on here. Very sketchy. Surprising I didn't just shut my account down and leave :-P Not at all effective in getting a stranger to invite you into their space...

  • @pmvines thank you for sharing about how guys book an escort. Yes that's exactly how I feel when the men do not make any attempt to get to know me but asking when I am available to cuddle in the initial message.

  • @RCasey8890 I would say that the feedback you got from the women on this thread is helpful and likely sums up for both paid and non paid cuddlers. If you are only contacting the paid cuddlers as you said, then yes, you aren't as likely to need to build the same rapport and trust as you would someone who is not, but still a little more then what up yo, lets do this. Just speak to them politely, state who you are, perhaps what makes them stand out as someone you would like to cuddle with, and just be yourself. Remember, they are the ones who are taking on the burden of safety, not you, as violence and assault against women is way more likely than that against men so the less sketchy you are the better.

  • Easiest way to get a girl to cuddle with you is to pay them lol I’m not trying to sound like a jerk but it’s true. There are many pros on this site and others and they are amazing.

  • Just be careful about the people who are only in it for the money. I have heard from a lot of clients about their other cuddle experiences, and while it's still a cuddle, it's not as quality of an experience worth the high price tag :-/

  • Morpheus - I thought that it was kind of inferred that I would be paying them if they are professionals. Do I actually have to tell them that even if they are professionals?

  • Although I know he’s banned now, I’ll reply anyway. I do now see in his original post that he meant pros. I’ve been seeing pro cuddlers for five years now and sometimes you hit dry spells and can’t find anyone to have a session with. I messaged several pros looking for a session for this last Monday and couldn’t set anything up. I ended up finding a pro from another site. That’s not to say go elsewhere, I’m just saying that sometimes people are busy and it may seem that they are all ignoring you when that may not be the case. If you’re a newbie and looking for a pro but can’t seem to find one, keep trying. My situation may be different living in Southern California with such a high population of pros but wherever you are, you’ll find someone eventually.

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