What to do

[Deleted User]letscuddle1980 (deleted user)
in General

Walked into a session and the man was naked.. i turned around and said no he expressed other cuddlers dont mind him and i should be lucky he is paying lol i said go look for a red light district or those other cuddlers.. he was asking me to just touch him all would be ok.. this was my first ever session and i think to be my last because this and other messages asking for sex its disgusting.

«1

Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @letscuddle1980
    Did you report him to the site?

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Fiend 🐄 Animal Lover

  • cde123cde123

    Yeah, if you leave after that, I'd completely understand. That's horrible.

  • Mike403Mike403

    These type of guys literally get off on violating women's boundaries. Nothing wrong with wanting sex, but there are other sites made for those types of hookups.

    Vet any new clients via a video call and make sure they are here for the right reasons before you meet them.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited August 2024

    Hopefully you immediately walked out the door, why even have a conversation? Leave immediately!! Report when you are safely in the car with the doors locked.
    There are so many ways to prevent this from happening. If you’re new, please post on the Pros Only forum for help. Read all advice you can find.

  • SolarisSolaris

    That's awful. I'm so sorry. I can't stand men like that.

  • RedFox16RedFox16
    edited August 2024

    This is NOT Even remotely ok! I'm so sorry this happened to you 😠 And the audacity of him to expect something sexual because he's "paying you". 🤮🤮🤮 You pay lawn people for a service too.... Would he then go tell them he expects sexual favors from them too?

    What @Mike403 said is sadly exactly correct

    No, this is not something that other cuddlers "don't mind"....he's lying. Anytime someone says something like this, they're lying. (Or It's from an experience he had with a SWer....who chooses to do that for an actual job)

    And it's not your fault at all that he made the choice to do that. Yes, you should report him (if you feel like you want to), but you are not responsible for "not vetting well enough" since it's HIS bad behavior he CHOSE to act on. Not yours. Normal human beings don't do these things.

    Definitely go to the pro forum to ask for advice....there's some amazing and supportive people there! Hugs to you! 💗

  • SolarisSolaris

    I hope you are able to get some good support through this. Agree with @@RedFox16 in that this is not your fault at all. I wish this guy could be thrown in jail.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Me too!

  • SoosonSooson

    Hold on everyone. Some clarifications from the OP are in order.
    OP did not clearly state she left right away. Even engaged in a conversation. why not just walk away?

    this was my first ever session and I think to be my last

    So was there a session? and how was the session.

    Some here may rush to conclusions regarding what happened (or didn't ) and to some it may be obvious but clear statements are in order when such incident is shared here.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Sooson I agree. As soon as I saw the cuddler was unclothed it would be over if I were the guest, unless I was being physically blocked from leaving.

    I feel like there are many women here that feel they owe at least a word or two to the person they are leaving, but they do NOT. I wish no one felt that way. Hopefully they stew because you walk out without saying a word. Jerks.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited August 2024

    @achetocuddle Correct, or maybe she was afraid . we dont know.
    but again, per OPs comments, there was a session.... or was there? Be as clear as you can be when you post something like that. Let's see if OP chimes in.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Soonon Of course. And if one is afraid it's hard to think and physically respond quickly. But I am an old saw and life experience helps you come to your conclusion more quickly, lol.

    I am beyond disturbed the OP had that experience.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    I don't know where this event occurred, but a charge of Indecent Exposure might be a possibility, in a scenario such as this.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Fiend 🐄 Animal Lover

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Sooson It would be good for OP to be more clear when starting a thread like this.

  • SoosonSooson

    @achetocuddle It would be good for us to have a clearer message. But let's not rish to assume that being clearer will also be in the OPs favor...

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Sooson That's true. That's what I was thinking and didn't realize how my message sounded til you brought it up. I'm glad you did bring it up. Sadly I am so used to being uselessly over-diplomatic and innocuous to avoid potential timeouts and other unpleasantries, lol. This has caused my messages to sometimes be unclear.

  • SolarisSolaris
    edited August 2024

    This isn't a court of law. We are not punishing anyone here so we don't need to be sure beyond a reasonable doubt of exactly what happened.

    He was naked. She was upset which to me shows that he did not get her consent to be naked. That's all I need to know to offer her my support.

    If, at a later date, she were to ask us if there was anything she could have done to prevent this so that there is less chance it happens again, maybe then more details would be in order.

    Maybe I'm overlooking something here, but I in no way agree with the notion that OP needs to explain herself further here.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    She does not need to @billiam. You are right. A couple of us wanting clarification does not matter at all

  • SolarisSolaris

    And to be super clear, I am NOT saying she did anything wrong. Not at all. I'm not saying she could have prevented it either.

    I just brought that up to show a potential situation where further details would be warranted.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited August 2024

    @achetocuddle LOL that's ok . At least you are not one of the many who jump on the empathy/outrage train without asking half a question first.
    @billiam No , OP doesn't have to be clear and detailed but if she isn't, people will ask questions.
    I asked my question in my first post and lets see if we get an answer.

  • SolarisSolaris

    @Sooson
    I have to agree to disagree with you here.

  • netrunnernetrunner Mod
    1. Yes, the OP did report the person
    2. Yes, after an investigation the person was banned
    3. Site members (guys) will say they do this sort of thing all the time with other women on the site to try tricking them into thinking it's normal or expected for sessions. After the many many MANY investigations I've done looking into those claims, the majority of these guys claims end up being he's simply lying in an attempt to convince typically a newer Pro into doing something.
  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I disagree with you also @Sooson, now that I understand more (I think).

    It is my nature and personality to try to get more of any story for my own comprehension and to make an informed post.

    I sure don't need more info to know the OP posted a factual thread and one she should never have had to.

    OP, best wishes in all your endeavors.

  • SolarisSolaris

    As long as you haven't done anything for me to revoke it, no one has to earn my compassion.

    Wanting me to punish another person is another story. I would need evidence in that case, and to hear from both sides.

    But if you come to me and say something hurt you, even if it's your fault, I would hope that I can have some compassion for you and the pain you are feeling. Because we have all been the cause of our own suffering (again, not implying OP is).

    I'm not always successful. I have biases and blind spots. But I endeavor for compassion. I think it's a better way to live.

    Now there is a time for deeper inquiry. For example if a person kept getting into the same situation. But even then, there is compassion because there are things in my life I can't figure out either. And we are all subject to the human condition.

    Life is hard. We don't always have to be hard too.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Sooson posted: "one of the many who jump on the empathy/outrage train without asking half a question first."

    I slowly learned this lesson over time, as I naively used to believe and support anyone who posted about an upsetting incident. It sucks, but sometimes the person posting is actually the perp, or equally at fault, once the mods dig into the truth.

    So now I'm careful to start with the most important question...was the incident reported? The mods should be handling all of these cases, not the board users.

    I'm also mindful of my verbiage, now... Responding to it as "a scenario such as this" lets me speak as though what we know thus far is true, but leaves room for the chance that the scenario described was not what occurred.

    I've no clue which is true in this case. But no matter what, this should go to the mods.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Fiend 🐄 Animal Lover

  • SoosonSooson
    edited August 2024

    @achetocuddle well after @netrunner 's post you just know more. And so do I. My question was still valid. The fact that the person was banned only after an investigation proves my point.

  • Mike403Mike403

    "Other women do those things with me."

    "Do I give a (censored) what other women do? I don't do those things. Goodbye."

    Even if this was a regular dating site, just because some women are okay with something, doesn't mean they all are. Everyone has different boundaries.

  • KatotaKatota

    Walked into a session and the man was naked..

    😔🙄

    he was asking me to just touch him all would be ok

    🤢

    this was my first ever session and i think to be my last

    I don't blame you.😊👍

  • KatCuddles77KatCuddles77

    My first two sessions on this site, i thought would be good. They had good Karma, friends and seemed geniune. They were horrible. Guy #1 would not keep his hands above my clothes, he had me pinned down after we were comfortable and then proceeded to talk about how all the women want him and his money. He was just some mediocre older man that traveled for business. I kept telling him to stop and everything. At the very end he decided he was going to try and kiss me. Which is when I was able to leave, he just didn't seem to get it. No was not an option. Next guy was a pilot, he was polite and decent until time started to run out, then he kept grabbing my face and trying to force me to kiss him. I had to literally put my hand on his face and shove him. There are plenty of disgusting individuals on this site but there are many good ones too.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @letscuddle1980

    That’s horrible. I’m very sorry you had to deal with that but I’m glad that you reported him and I’m glad that he’s been banned.

Sign In or Register to comment.