Yes it is really an issue and yes you really are over estimating our fellow humans unfortunately LOL
I kind of think of hygiene issues in categories - known and unknown - and 90% smell and 10% the feel of skin.
I consider known issues to be things that the average human knows can be a hygiene issue but may or may not choose to do anything to make them favorable... Ex. haven't showered since doing any type of physical activity especially in heat (work, gym, trek from parking lot mid-July in the south, etc), not changing clothes from what outdoor air touched to "cuddle clothes", aversion to moisturizer, broken / unhealed skin, spending 10 minutes on the toilet doing #2 in the same clothes you're about to cuddle in 🤢 (yes, we can smell that)...
I also list what may be unknown issues. Sometimes, people really just may not know that they have an odor that the majority would consider unpleasant until you bring it to their attention. Believe it or not, I would put bad breath in this category. And I say it because just think about the number of people you encounter who have atrocious breath! I refuse to believe people know it and don't do a thing about it 😂. Other examples: medications, garlic, onions, alcohol, various oils taken internally, medical treatments (esp. chemo), illnesses, detoxing... Some if not all of this stuff just seems to come directly out of pores! And some people truly are noseblind and cannot tell.
Now, I opt to talk about hygiene and conversation and not put it all over my page but to each their own and yes either way it must be discussed 😂
Diet. Your diet affects your body odor, whether you shower all day or not.
Always be S.A.F.E.
Scent And Fragrantly Enjoyable
I have a cuddler who often stops to eat before he sees me and gets burgers full of onions and pickles. He doesn't bring a toothbrush. It's not great.
My dad said it "coincidentally" seemed like we got better with hygiene around the time we also started being interested in the opposite sex 😆 LoL
@RedFox16 Lol! He's right, that's usually what it took for me at that age.😄
Ppl can shower, brush their teeth or bathe prior to meeting all day long lol, but if they smoke/vape. That stink attaches to them as well. I've had to turn down cuddles for this very reason
🚭😁🚭😁🚭😁
@btrflyy Yep, I have turned down cuddling due to smokers/vaping/weed fanatics as well. I totes agree and understand!😁👍
Hugged up with a cuddler reeking of skunk roadkill is NOT my idea of good time!😖😣
@SnugglyMel Wow....😏
😆
@SnugglyMel
Have you ever told him anything?
Yes, there have been a number of posts on this before. I even created an OP called “is hygiene really a thing here” a long while back because I too was amazed that this issue kept on coming up so much..
Most people are blind to your own smell. It’s biology. Olfactory fatigue. Your nose filters out common or frequent smells. Find someone that you trust and is willing to be blunt with you and make sure you don’t have an issue.
I have a very strong sense of smell and many people can be clean and still stink. Others can be clean and smell wonderful.
I had to move at an airport gate last week because a very nice lady sat next to me and smelled like old broccoli. Tried not to be a jerk but I couldn’t take it. I moved. Far away. 😇
I would hope a cuddle partner would tell me if I developed that.
I've had a session where the client was not so fresh but it was a hot day... I dealt with it since it was bearable and it was a great cuddle otherwise.
I also had a client who knew they would be sweaty (coming from work) and asked if it was okay if they took a quick shower to freshen up at my hotel.
What you are suggesting here would be a violation of the terms and conditions of this website, so no. -JoyfulHeart
@lovingspoonfull I had a very nice guy Cuddler who wanted to be a regular but the odor from his diet 💯 made it unbearable. I also have a sensitive nose. People disregard this but it’s a fact. I didn’t know that broccoli is a problem but especially a diet high in onions garlic - spicy & some ethnic food in the case of this one client was the problem. He admitted it.
I used to work in a very upscale spa. I would see four clients a day for years. Over this time there were a hand full of people that hadn’t bathed in a few days and had some sort of job that had them working outside in the heat all day. Luckily those clients are far and few. I would treat them as any other client. Sure, I would have to draw on my younger years of acting in high school drama - but this is one reason I have a pink “Professional” tag on my profile right?
I've always had a bad feeling about the member banned in this thread, nothing specific. I feel kinda relieved they are gone, even tho they never bothered me.
Dear OP, I find it hard to believe that people need to be told to clean up, but I believe it is necessary. I've read too much about it.
Disclaimer: this is another improbable idea
There needs to be a cuddle spray. Or a way to calibrate an odor and assign a number to it. Uhoh that's a 7.
Or some kind of 6 step checklist present before each cuddle that becomes the social protocol.
If done with a "I know it's a pain but let's go through this," protocol, we actually could be made aware of something we didn't know
CUDDLE CHECKLIST:
And actually say check after each one. That way, any issue can be put to rest simply by communicating. And let the checklist do the heavy work.
Doctors let you see them wash their hands while you're in the room..it cues you to trust them..can we as cuddlers do the same?
I wasn't sure if @panda619 was joking but he made similar forum sins in the past so he was probably already given a warning.
I'm often surprised at how many people indulge in garlic and oniony foods before cuddling, I definitely give that thought if I am going to be up close and personal with anyone. No breath mint os going to squash that
@achetocuddle Agreed. iirc, his first message and most of his messages were misogynistic. I feel like it was only the fact that all his messages were a single short sentence is the only thing that kept him from getting banned before.
The science fiction community has had trouble with people with poor hygiene. The conventions I've been to have adopted the 5-2-1 rule (minimum of 5 hours of sleep, 2 meals, 1 shower every day). I think a lot of people just don't think about it until they can smell themselves, unless it's pointed out to them.
@IronLemon How do they enforce the 5-2-1 rule? I’ve been to 10 DragonCons and 1 ComiCon. I’m sure there are people who need such a rule but I don’t know how that could be enforced (or even monitored).
I personally make sure my hygiene 100%. I can’t stand a smoke smell I get headaches
@JohnR1972 The rule bring it to the attention of people who wouldn't have thought about it unless it's pointed out to them.
@IronLemon Ah, thank you for the clarification. Basically setting a clear expectation / minimum standard then let attendees call each other out for not meeting the standard. That sounds workable. While not 100% effective it would be a big step in the right direction. 👍
I'm enjoying the discourse between Iron and John. Wish y'all would expound on more subjects. So interesting and well-worded.
@IronLemon I thought a similar thing about the banned member, especially the part about how he may have laid low successfully by usually just writing one sentence. You know what comes next, lol. Great minds think alike.
Floss!
Out of curiosity... I am seeing a lot of garlic and onions are bad for odor. Is there anything that someone can eat that promotes good odor? (I mean, hopefully a good brushing should make it not matter .... but I'm curious nonetheless.)
I’ve heard pineapple. You can find more info on this with a google search. I read that some spicy intense foods eaten every day, a complete diet of it, leaves one with a permanent unpleasant body odor.
@g_w_t_w just saw your response. Yeah, old broccoli was a new one on me. Couldn’t tell if it was her clothes or diet. And also agree diet has an effect. One extreme case, I have a friend that was seriously fad dieting and was doing both intermittent fasting and a strict keto diet at once. He practically fumigated the room with ketones.
We all told him to go away and do a bleach bath he smelled so bad 😀
As far as internal body odor control, I don’t think it’s medically accepted but anecdotally I’ve seen that taking probiotics and bacteria pills helps; the one holistic article I remember reading (didn’t look it back up) said having a diverse digestive biome better breaks down everything and attacks some of the odor causing compounds. Maybe that’s true, maybe your body is just healthier. Who knows.
I also knew a woman who swore by liquid chlorophyll; a mutual friend tried it, she never smelled bad in my opinion but it didn’t make it worse!
And I learned of a new issue! I was clean, and was told I smelled good, but at one cuddle I was told my hair smelled like coffee. 😇 just so happens that I had a 30 min meeting at a coffee shop with an employee and that was enough for me to pick it up. She did reassure me she loved the smell of coffee but I’ll be paying attention to the one now!
I don't know, but all of lovingspoonful's post makes sense to me. If a person smells bad and eats unhealthy, perhaps changing to healthier foods would help body odor. The body has all kinds of way to signal things are not going right.
I didn't know coffee aroma could be permeating like that, but there again, makes sense.
Chlorophyll can definitely help with body odor. Don't know it it would work for everyone. I believe chlorophyll was one of the ingredients in Clorets brand gum for bad breath/mouth freshener. I asked for Clorets when I was a kid because I loved the taste, strong and minty.
I am sure people have encountered this issue. You would be overestimating your fellow man. Some are oblivious to their own smell and most of us are too polite to say anything. Even in the nicest manner possible, it's difficult to have to say. We would be helping them if they took the comments on but who knows how they'd react, lash out or get defensive or actually take it on and change. What to do.