Cuddling and craving touch?

LinddleLinddle
in General

Hi all! I've been single for a few years now and have gotten used to not having touch. I know I would enjoy a cuddle but I'm not craving one, it feels like that part of me has gone dormant- in the past touch has always been so important thing me, one of the big pleasures in life. I'm a bit worried that if I have a cuddle with someone, that will reactivate my longing for touch and I'll have to get used to lack of touch all over again afterwards. I'm not sure even a massage would be a good idea šŸ˜…

Has anyone had any experience of this? Maybe this isn't how it'd work at all and I'm worried for nothing?

Thank you!

Comments

  • LinddleLinddle
    edited September 2024

    (Double post)

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Yes, I have had those same misgivings. When you get used to doing without something, it can be painful to experience it again if it isn't going to be a regular part of your life.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I understand misgivings, but living in fear of what ifs is an impediment to joyful experiences.

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B
    edited September 2024

    @TheFunCartel: I understand misgivings, but living in fear of what ifs is an impediment to joyful experiences.

    I strongly agree with this and have tried to live my life this way. Occasionally, this causes some knocks in life, but I think it is worth it because you get to learn things and have experiences that are very positive.

    To the OP: of course I think you should do what is right for you. If I were in your situation, I would try to meet someone on here by talking to them in DMs a lot, then meeting in public if they seem nice, and if you both hit it off as friends and are both looking for the same thing maybe only then start cuddling. I wouldn't close myself off to the possibility of having your touch needs met, but I would be as careful as I could to find someone compatible, safe, kind, and respectful. šŸ«¶

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes
    edited September 2024

    Yes it happens when with the right partner, but it's worth it.

    I've had this experience in cuddle but also dating. I recently (like in the last 12 months) went on a few dates with a wonderful beautiful woman. I had reservations of even asking her out because i didn't think she'd be in to it. She ultimate wasn't but we did go out a few times, spent time i enjoyed her and appreciated the time. With all the time i contemplated asking her out i built up a crush that was realistic because i didn't really know her like i wanted to. After a few dates over some months she decided she was going to go back to another ex, or start dating someone else or something, it crushed me. I wanted more! I wanted more from her and from the relationship ( that wasn't really) But since we tried to remain friends over time i realized she wasn't for me anyway. I'm glad i did it, confidence felt intact, i had some great times. I know i can do it again when ready or when i found the right one. So sometimes i think you have to get what you need when you need it, and sometimes it's short lived. But ignoring it i believe makes things worse.

    Added: i also had a cuddle, one of the few pros id connected with. It was great! I mean great, we cuddled twice and i was all set to be a regular entity in her schedule, but she stopped cuddling. I hated that. Maybe she didn't want to cuddle me anymore, i don't know but im glad i did it. She did give me one last appointment before she left and i say it's worth it to have had the experience. Yes the bar is raised and i don't know if I'll find that again but i found it ince.

    You need touch and you've found a place for it get it, and wanting more of what you've had is probably not as bad as wanting something you haven't had at all.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    Take what the universe provides, when it provides it.

  • LinddleLinddle

    Thank you all for the replies! I feel like I used to be more open to taking risks so maybe need to try to get back to that kind of mindset (while still going slow!)

  • MindTherapyMindTherapy

    @Linddle I think you should go for it. What Iā€™m seeing here is that you would be getting to know yourself all over again in a new more evolved way. Sometimes the time away helps us to grow and become different and I think you would have a new relationship altogether in regards to physical touch.

  • LinddleLinddle

    @deepsleepcuddle that's a good way to look at it, thank you!

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    @Linddle I think the old adage that "nothing ventured, nothing gained" stands true. Just proceed with caution. You can do this.

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