Update Notes: First and foremost, for those of you who took the time to read my post and leave a comment today, Thank You for the good advice. It was also helpful to hear what a girl would think / how she would feel in that position. I went back and revised a few things that I could see I definitely didn't make clear initially and for those of you who go back and reread my post Double Thank You.
Hi everyone, so this is my first post on here and I really wouldn’t be posting my personal feelings online if I didn’t think someone out here has some pretty good advice. So here goes.
I’ve been talking to a girl I knew from highschool (both CO ‘16). She was in a relationship all through school so we knew each other but we didn’t get extremely close. Their relationship turned sour some months ago and she’s been manipulated by a few fuckboys between then and now. We've been talking for a month but I was out of state and now she is, so we haven't been able to see each other. I’ve gotten to the point where she knows I’m here for her and not just her body but, In short she’s become extremely guarded and while claims she's abstaining from sex just for the moment, wants to cuddle all the time and show physical affection. My problem, and I’ll be completely honest here. I’ve never given someone that type of affection and I keep thinking this erection with a mind of its own is going to make her think I just want sex and completely ruin a really good thing. If she just wanted to jump in bed and have a go, no problem señorita. And she may, but I don't want that to come off as the first thing on my mind since she's already told me she's tired of 'guys' just looking at her as a nice body. So I guess my question is how could I keep her as comfortable as possible if that situation arises. I’d rather just explain it in some way to get that elephant out of the room because I know I won’t be able to just scoot back a little and play it off. Also, if we do end up in that situation, how do I not let it change her perceived intentions of me. I truly care for this girl with me heart and sex is definitely not the first thing on my mind with her. I think that’ll happen naturally and I don’t want my dick jumping the gun.
I know this is a topic on forums a lot but on all of the others, I’ve found nothing but useless joking or making fun of. This is a TRUE problem for me and all I’m looking for is a little advice. Not the “don’t be ashamed, stuff it in” or “think about your grandma naked” advice. True helpful advice like how she’d be feeling and how a girl would want that situation to be diffused. And if I can give any in return I’d be more than willing.
Thanks, T