Very Demure Very Mindful

[Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)
in General

I know I might be late to the party on this one, but just recently discovered it. I guess it’s about a couple weeks old what are everyone’s thoughts on being very demure and very mindful? Is this something that can be applied to cuddle comfort or is it more for the workplace or is it just a crock of…

Comments

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited September 2024

    Ok I googled it, referring to some TikTok makeup trend, unless I’m wrong? What on earth does this have to do with cuddling?
    Isn’t it just some woman desperate for attention & trying to make money off her make up on social media? Who cares?
    maybe someone needs to explain why this is important.

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    Maybe the OP is talking about a female archetype or attitude. I don't know anything about TikTok or makeup style. I enjoy putting on makeup but I don't do it for a cuddle because I don't want to be too glammed up or wipe makeup on their shirt!

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @Auroradream
    That’s what came up when I googled it. Apparently it became a meme?
    Regarding makeup & cuddling, it seems that most people don’t want it on their pillows.
    And men interested in a woman’s make up, appearance and again who cares, it’s just another personal choice and imo a way to attract attention.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited September 2024

    It is a phrase of the moment, and has moved well beyond the worlds of TikTok and makeup.

    It means .... well as far as I can tell - and I'm not the one to ask about popular culture - it means more or less whatever you want it to

    It's important in the moment because for some reason it has struck a chord with a lot of people.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited September 2024

    Yes, Women should always be demure, shy, quiet, keep their place. Should always be mindful and careful not to stir things up. And of course to always look attractive, especially here so they can get Cuddlers! 😱
    Thanks I needed a good laugh.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    It's important in the moment because for some reason it has struck a chord with a lot of people.

    Thank you @CuddleDuncan for saying what I was trying to express.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    Maybe the OP is talking about a female archetype or attitude.

    @Auroradream yes this👆🏻
    Was just wondering if it’s an attitude that women or men agree with. Maybe for some people it means talking about makeup only but as @CuddleDuncan mentioned it seems to have evolved into something more

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    The person who started the TikTok trend says the videos were intended as a joke. They were about, among other things, not wearing too much makeup.

  • AlexysDanyelleAlexysDanyelle

    I have yet to see where or why this phrasing became popular however I have quite enjoyed some of the spinoffs 😆

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @g_w_t_w a lot of people have interpreted it in that way and, taken out of context, it's a perfectly reasonable interpretation. However, having watched the original clip several times, I don't think it fits. The wider context was about the potential unhelpfulness of excessive makeup and - as I understood it - how being brash and excessively 'sexy' isn't necessarily the best way forward. Or to put it another way, I perceive the OP's meaning as being a version of "less is more".

    The OP is indeed a young woman who wears makeup offering advice to her peers. I didn't notice if her channel was monetised in any way.

    One of things I have learned in my six or seven years working full time with young people, is that they crave advice and guidance on how to navigate and succeed in adult life .... and they are not getting it. They didn't want rules or instructions, rather hints and tips. From my observations of the world via the medium of electricity, I don't think my conclusion is invalidated by the limits of my sample.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    I have yet to see where or why this phrasing became popular however I have quite enjoyed some of the spinoffs

    @AlexysDanyelle yeah totally agree with this some of the spin-offs and other videos and memes like you posted are hilarious. It does make me wonder how a video like that can get 4 million views but @CuddleDuncan explained it perfectly in that young people seek out advice or guidance and it’s usually in the form of a TikTok video like that.

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    I don't subscribe to the TikTok, so yeah echo the whatever to that reference.
    Anyone else in the mood for ice cream?

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I just got TikTok the other day, just so i could keep up with the silly things the people are saying. I wonder why people get caught up with repeating things they hear. I've yet to see this demure thing on TikTok, I've only seen people talk about the fact that demure is being used wrong. But dare i say it's only the tip of the iceberg.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    @BashfulLoner just to put things in a little bit of perspective, I don’t have TikTok these things seep into my other social media platforms, and then sometimes I look at it and it just fascinates me. It fascinates me how something like that can get 4 million views the same way that a Taylor Swift song could get over 100 million views for example there’s something that resonates with the people that are watching those videos just because I might not like them Doesn’t mean that they don’t have value to someone else so I just personally like to see and understand what other people find interesting. I think half the things that people do are repeating what other people say for example take a look at the quotes thread. I think sometimes we repeat what other say maybe as a form of validation of what we believe. I’m just speaking for myself, but I feel like I can’t grow as a person if I am unwilling to learn about other peoples experiences and likes

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    I have absolutely no clue what any of you guys are talking about. 😂

    However, @lonelytauros posted: "It fascinates me how something like that can get 4 million views the same way that a Taylor Swift song could get over 100 million views for example there’s something that resonates with the people that are watching those videos"

    I know you're making a concerted effort to understand different peoples' experiences and likes, so this may sound contradictory, but...

    Something I've finally learned about the internet is it's incredibly easy to experience Assumed Similarity Bias, where we subconsciously envision the people on the other side of the screen as being like us.

    I, too, have come across videos, and especially channels on YouTube, and thought, "What on earth do people see in this? It's so stupid!" The click moment for me was realizing that those channels are not followed by adults. 🤯 They're followed by millions of kids. The content won't seem geared toward children, but a lot of the humor and video effects used apparently appeal to kids, while they seem ridiculous and off-putting, to me.

    It was a total gear-shift for me when I realized, duh...not every viewer on YouTube is an adult...or even in high school! There are billions of middle school-age kids with free access to the internet, and they can really warp what seems "popular", to an adult. 😆 I've seen comments on YouTube numerous times by kids saying they're as young as eight.

    Just thought it was an interesting bit to throw into the mix. 🤓

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    @SunsetSnuggles trust me when I tell you all these new trends phrases expressions whatever is all new to me too i used to be young once so watching stuff like this I understand is probably not popular with a lot of adults, but it is popular with a different generation and that I am not completely out of touch with another generation I try to keep up with what they are following, but not too much if that makes sense @CuddleDuncan mentioned earlier in one of his post that a lot of young people watch these videos or even seek these videos as a form of guidance or advice. I don’t like to dismiss things just because I might not like them or they might not relate to me. I still try to understand them.

  • VaniRae31VaniRae31
    edited September 2024

    See how @lonelytauros responds to comments in a very respectful way? Never coming off as judgmental or as if they feel they’re better than others just because they don’t understand a trend? - Very demure.

    See how they’re explaining their thought process in a way that’s easy to follow? - Very mindful.

    See their profile picture? Very unassuming, very in season - very cutesy.

  • VaniRae31VaniRae31

    Also @lonelytauros I think if you think of the trend and what’s it’s transformed into and not so much about how it started then yes it could be applied to cuddling.

    This is just my opinion on how it could be applied to cuddling and I’m sure others could come up with their own…

    Demure - How we as cuddlers present ourselves. Our pictures, our profiles, and how we even engage in the forms.

    Mindful - For me this presents itself as setting clear boundaries and respecting them.

    Cutesy - Both cuddlers taking the time to get to know one another, chatting, or even doing an out of the box cuddles session.

    An example of all 3:

    One of my favorite type of sessions I offer is a public drive-in theater - I make it super comfortable by having a blow up mattress made specifically for my make and model SUV, my clients favorite movie snacks, soft blankets and pillows, etc.

    I’ve made the atmosphere “cutesy” and comfortable and my choice of snacks was “mindful”, and the way we conduct ourselves during this session is our “demure”.

    In the words of Jools (creator of the trend)
    “Your /demure/ is what it means to you.. It's being mindful and considerate of the people around you, but also of yourself and how you present to the world.”

    Hope this kind of answers your original question!

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    @VaniRae31 wow! Yes you definitely answered the question and thank you for your comments!

  • KittyPukkaKittyPukka

  • 4cuddles4cuddles

    HAha @KittyPukka love that!

  • KatotaKatota

    @KittyPukka That's excellent too! 😊

  • radiantjemradiantjem

    LOLLLL! I so love that Demure-tok has made its way here. 😂

    It’s not a makeup trend, though the OG creator did mention her makeup. For me it’s a lifestyle, a commitment and dedication to all things demurity…

    But most of all, it’s a a silly character someone made that TikTok/pop culture has ran with and turned into a living meme manifesto.

    I’ve been out in public and have made friends with folks simply by having a “very demure, very mindful” conversation with them.

    Yours Demurely,
    Jem ☺️💕😂

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