Asking the community for assistance in personal matter

TrialKingTrialKing
edited September 2024 in General

A friend hurt my feelings and told me don't contact them and they dont need my help for anything anymore its been a month then out of nowhere they ask for my help again and never apologize for yelling at me to get away from them and no explanation for that btw

Backstory
i used to feed his son with my own money because his dad trying to save for a house take his gf to work so that would save them on uber rides when he couldn't take her because he was at work. i would help him move stuff and clean his house when his gf or son didnt want to help even though their dad just worked a 12hr shift i came over sweept, did their dishes and left and went about my business.

I do take responsibility for wanting to play his Playstation from time to time but he always always always gave me permission FIRST to do so. I also considered maybe they felt like I was invading their personal space as a couple but usually gf was at work me and him would play games or when he was at work me the gf and son would watch movies. Not interested in his gf so never made a move in fact im the one that brought them together because I knew her first and they been together ever since. So I have history with both.

but now a month later they ask for my help after shunning me away what should I do?

Comments

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    1) it sounds like you overstepped your bounds.
    2) Never be alone with a friend's wife. (Yes, I see the hypocrisy in what I'm saying)
    3) Move on and don't be involved with them anymore.

  • TrialKingTrialKing

    He asked me to take his gf to work because he couldn't so very odd it all switched up.now he asked me to take her to work again month later and help around the house

  • pmvinespmvines

    Boundaries are a good thing . You need them for yourself so that you are not taken advantage of or impeded upon, and you need to be observant of the boundaries of others so that you can give the same courtesy.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    That whole situation sounds volatile. It’s best for you to stay away. i’m sure they have other family members or friends they can contact if they need to. if you get involved again, the same thing can happen. You guys can have an argument or worse and you won’t hear from them until they need something from you.

  • IneedahugortwoIneedahugortwo

    Setting up boundaries for yourself is where I would start, just like @pmvines said.

  • JWestfallJWestfall

    Buy your own Playstation. It's not the best solution, but it's the one that you can control 100%.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited September 2024

    Perhaps let’s start with checking your grammar before posting because it’s painful and dizzying to your readers trying to understand what you’re saying.

    And then I’d add take your lessons where you get them in life and move on from this relationship. Best wishes…

  • Allen1974Allen1974

    I would move on.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Definitely move on. They are not your friend or even a good person. Doing anything else will just be you going backwards.
    I wish life's lessons weren't so hard.

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    Hmm, this sounds phishy..

  • UREverythingUREverything

    Friends come and go.
    How long have your been friends?
    How long have they been a family?
    Why did they tell you to stop helping in the first place?

    Answer this to yourself. Take time to ponder the reason. Do not help now. Understand why things have worked out as they have and mend either yourself or the friendship, depending on why it ended to begin with.

    It also comes down to the friendship itself. Why were you friends to begin with? Did that change as their family grew?

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @FutureHeart2023
    Tough love incoming...

    You periodically start threads about scenarios where you help, or want to help people, in very unconventionally over-the-top ways.

    You've talked about buying cars for people, buying a house for Pro's to use, and now playing maid/second husband & father in this friend's life.

    These are not normal ways to help people. If they are legitimate, I really think it would benefit you to seek a counselor and work with them on self-worth and boundaries.

    Your worth does not come from what you can buy or provide for people. 🫂

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

  • TxTomTxTom

    I can barely read this.

    As mentioned earlier, clean up your post. Use some punctuation, check your spelling, don't make up abbreviations for words, capitalize at the beginning of sentences, et al.

    What does this mean?

    work sk tnat

    Or this?

    move inf act im.the one

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    You need your own boundaries. If they think your too involved except that and step back. It made you feel away so do not help if you don't want to. If you feel a need to ask for clarification of what it means, is this a one time thing? Or is it in going? Be clear on your boundaries and don't get used. If you need an apology tell him and her how you feel or don't and don't help.

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    I do believe we should all spend much more time on the internet asking strangers to solve our problems.

  • UREverythingUREverything

    My eyes are burning!!! And nobody cares. There may be some kids gfs and and xboxes involved

  • KatotaKatota

    My eyes are burning!!! And nobody cares.

    @ScroogeMcducky Oh for Pete's sake...Here!🙄

    Feel better?! 😁

  • TrialKingTrialKing

    @WestsideMarc
    @TxTom
    @ScroogeMcducky

    Lolol I'm so sorry I wrote this post when emotional so probably didn't proofread

    @SunsetSnuggles
    No harm appreciate the input 🥰 yea I had alot of people do things to help me so I just return.the favor someone bought me a car someone gave me a free timeshare hotel for 2 weeks so I have a place to.sleep because I live in my car. I used to live with a lady with 40 animals pissnand poop everywhere and someone came help me clean up and move.
    So alot of actions I do come from passing it forward because someone done it for me

  • TrialKingTrialKing

    Appreciate everyone's input I responded to my friend in a way that respect my new boundaries and theirs and also expressing concern on the previous conversation.

    I never came over without their permission so they knew what time I came and left I felt there was something else going on that they fail to communicate

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male

    @Katota LOL 😆

  • KatotaKatota

    @Dance_Culture 😄😄😄

  • IneedahugortwoIneedahugortwo

    @FutureHeart2023 Glad you did set up boundaries. Hope it all works well for you.

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