Pro Cuddlers Ghosting Lol

mrtechguymrtechguy
in General

I had a really great session with a Pro Cuddler a few months back. I don't cross any borders and respected her boundaries. She even suggested me coming back to see her again to grab food the next time that I was in town. We also left each other great and positive karma feedback. Fast forward until now, I seen she has been on online active pretty much everyday but she hasn't responded to any of my messages or my proposal for a session. What gives? Could she be ghosting me or is she overwhelmed with request lol Its really bothering me.

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Comments

  • Mike403Mike403

    The only person who knows the answer to this question is her.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Don't take it personally, don't worry about it. It's very common. It's highly likely that it's nothing to do with you.

    Accept the disappointment, move on, and ask somebody else. If she ever does get in touch, be kind.

  • graceangelgraceangel

    @CuddleDuncan wow that kind or recommendation is concerning and extremely dehumanizing.
    maybe people who do that should change their name from cuddle enthusiasts to narcissistic ghosting enthusiasts.
    that you also advocate treating this kind of discourteous and dehumanizing behavior with kindness is appalling. disgusting
    it really is. if you regularly ghost people, you're a phony ....
    I'm not treating people who do this with kindness as it's ok and acceptable

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Oh dear.

    I think I'd better step back and let somebody else explain.

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    Lol oh dear indeed 😳
    OP send a follow up message. The cc inbox is not easy to keep organized. I forget to answer messages often if I don't do it right away, which is whenever I'm tired, or if I want to give a more thoughtful reply than I can at the moment, it happens often. And Duncan is correct too lmao

  • awildtigerlilyawildtigerlily

    @CuddleDuncan Nothing wrong with what you said. Sounds like wonderful advice to me.

    @graceangel Why focus on on the behavior of someone you can't change and let them live rent-free in your mind and cause you mental anguish? By treating this person with kindness and grace, you're actually providing yourself the same.

    @biancalovecraft Seconded. I don't get as many messages as pros do, but even I sometimes see messages and forget to respond to them for various reasons.

  • sg89sg89

    Don't let it bother you. Maybe there is a reason, maybe there isn't. It doesn't serve you either way. Find another cuddler if there's no response. Definitely don't hold out because she is not going to be invested in only you, so why should you be with just her.

  • mrtechguymrtechguy

    I’ve given it a few days. I will send a follow up message but I didn’t want to come off as needy or impatient.

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    @mrtechguy just be cool assume the best you'll probably find an apologetic pro
    If not that's the wrong one oh well find another one

  • dkmddkmd

    @graceangel stop assigning intent and a trauma response on CuddleDuncan.

    Cuddling is not an entitlement. People are allowed to convey “no” or not respond to a request. If the person feels some type of way, then need to work that out. They need to clarify their feeling and emotional attachment to an experience that not a passive way of confining people to their conditions of life. CuddleDuncans response was akin to focus up and meet new people.

    Ghosting is his perception. CuddleDuncan encouraged the OP that is likely
    Not him. CuddleDancan recommended working on acceptance on how things are and not how we wish them to be. He was also subtle in his empathy about the OPs disappointment recommending “letting go of these feelings” that seem to be creating inharmony in his life. And ended with a gentlemen’s nudge of “be kind”.
    CuddleDuncans response was concise and solid.

    @graceangel, your response was negative. Carelessly and flagrantly attempted to subtract from his advise while accusing him and assigning misplacing accountability onto him for the OP experience and “feelings” that you seem to have conveyed in your “trauma response”.

    Do better

  • TxTomTxTom

    @graceangel

    @CuddleDuncan wow that kind or recommendation is concerning and extremely dehumanizing.

    No, it wasn't.

    @CuddleDuncan gave perfectly sound advice.

    The OP doesn't know what's going on with his Pro cuddler. But, furthermore, he doesn't have any right to know. Whether she is still active on the site or not isn't really any of the OP's business.

    If, and until, she messages the OP back, it's definitely best to move on. If she does happe
    to message him back, the ball will be in his court whether or not to continue cuddling with her.

  • SoosonSooson

    @graceangel DMing you now. You better respond or youre a dehumanizer 🤣🤣🤣

  • SolarisSolaris

    @awildtigerlily "By treating this person with kindness and grace, you're actually providing yourself the same."

    Bravo!!!!!! 1000000% yes! Well done.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited September 2024

    @mrtechguy Move on. Expect it to keep happening. Ive been recently ignored by a pro I've seen before and I already forgot about it but this thread reminded me. I also have 6 pros in my inbox I haven responded to yet so it goes both ways.

    I honestly don't think that it is considered ghosting since no meet was planned.

    Don't get attached. Many don't last here. Don't count on seeing her until she knocks on the door and assume every meet is the last one.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @mrtechguy posted: "has been on online active pretty much everyday but she hasn't responded to any of my messages
    Could she be ghosting me or is she overwhelmed with request"

    I'm not a Pro, but I'm sure quite a number of people, both strangers and friends, probably think I've ghosted them. I can tell you in my case, it's not one bit personal.

    This year has been packed with more out of state trips than there have been months, so far. My brother and I undertook the emptying and selling of my mom's condo, in another state. My mom has been in the hospital three times. I have been having medication side effects, myself, severely impacting my life. This is all on top of my usual depression and anxiety, and OCD, which make it hard for me to keep up with personal communication to begin with.

    So you can see how it could very feasibly not be personal. Now let's see how the numbers prove it's not personal. I just took this screenshot:

    150 PM's on this site...those are just the unread ones. There are many more I read but still haven't gotten back to, yet.

    I'm also behind with my closer friends and family on text, and other chat platforms.

    Numbers should make it crystal clear that this is nothing about the collective "you". People have lives, jobs, and crises outside of this site, and sometimes messages simply cannot be answered in anything like a polite timeline.

    If I could catch up, I would. I bet your Pro would, too. But sometimes it's just not possible. 😩

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Also, logging onto the site does not mean she is even actively booking. She might, as noted, be trying to catch up on PMs or just dealing with something and messaging with a close friend here or who knows what.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited September 2024

    @SunsetSnuggles OMG 150 unread in the inbox? You must be a woman.

  • KatotaKatota

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited September 2024

    Haven’t you been banned multiple times? (Once by me.)

    (This isn’t really a question since I know the answer…)

  • SoosonSooson

    @Katota lol stop it!!!

  • [Deleted User]hoosierdan76 (deleted user)

    Some of the more popular girls here have expressed that they regularly get creepy needy stalker vibes from guys who try to seem innocent but obviously want them to be their girlfriend and want to meet outside of a professional relationship. They don’t like that mess fyi. Probably doesn’t seem like much but to them it is. Perhaps be aware that this may be what it appears to them as being. Just a guess. No judgment and I don’t even care one way or another. All I know is based on the information you publicly gave here, everybody knows who you are talking about and there’s no way that’s going to help your case.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Mike403 posted: "The only person who knows the answer to this question is her."

    Truth. And unless/until she catches up, or tells you why, it's best to send her well wishes, and keep yourself busy with those who are currently able/interested in responding.

    @graceangel posted to CuddleDuncan: "that you also advocate treating this kind of discourteous and dehumanizing behavior with kindness is appalling. disgusting
    it really is."

    I'm not sure where your animosity is coming from, but there are precious few things in this world that would be "disgusting" to treat with kindness. Child sex trafficking comes to mind. Someone failing to respond to a message on the internet? Most certainly not.

    Please see my previous post which sheds light on (one of the many reasons) why someone may not respond, with 0% malintent or personal vendetta.

    @mrtechguy posted: "I’ve given it a few days. I will send a follow up message but I didn’t want to come off as needy or impatient."

    This is excellent. I might even recommend a few weeks. Days may be long to you but may seem like obsession, to her, if it's repetitive.

    @WriterGF is also very correct. Recent sign-ins don't mean someone is actively cuddling, or in a place to handle their inbox. Here's my experience/take on that.

    @Sooson posted: "You must be a woman."

    I think you tripped and typed "woman" instead of "enthusiast". 🤭 Yes, there's a stereotype that female enthusiasts are bombarded with messages...sometimes it's true for me, sometimes not. I'm not sure why my inbox has blown up the past several months, but prior to that, with shockingly few cuddlers in Wyoming, especially near Jackson, and basically zero within a hundred miles of me...my inbox is sometimes very quiet, and that's to be expected.

    All but like three of the people I talk to/am friends with here, are from other states/countries. So the messages I get are people wanting to conversate, not cuddle. 🗨

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

  • Miss_BrandywineMiss_Brandywine

    I often take breaks from the site- meaning I'm busy with my day job or other personal responsibilities and obligations. People may need breaks for all kinds of reasons. I may open the email that shows me I have a message whrn i recieve it- but I don't always have time to respond to a request or know what my schedule will allow yet. I usually respond within a day or so. I had one person send a passive aggressive follow up message when I didn't respond to his request within 24 hours. The request was for a session two weeks out and he was new to my inbox. That didn't make me want to contact him any faster or book with him.

  • Calming_HugsCalming_Hugs

    That inbox count screenshot is wild. Do women get that many messages on the site? That seems counterproductive if gender balance was considered a goal for the site. Obviously the site is a private company that has to run a profit to exist.

  • mrtechguymrtechguy

    @CharlieBear This is the only account that I have ever had

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Calming_Hugs posted: "That inbox count screenshot is wild. Do women get that many messages on the site?"

    The number fluctuates depending on the location (big city), when they joined (shiny new toy syndrome), what kind of photos they have up, their engagement on the message board, and I'm sure a host of other reasons.

    As I mentioned, my inbox can swing drastically. I didn't get the shiny new toy influx that most girls get, upon joining, because I live in an extremely rural area in the least-populated state. But over time, I get more and more; most people say they reached out because of what I've written in my profile, or my posts on the message board. Personally, I'd rather be hit up for those reasons, than my looks, or being the new slab of meat in town.

    @Calming_Hugs posted: "That seems counterproductive if gender balance was considered a goal for the site."

    Gender balance is not a goal for this site; getting as many people to join as possible is one of their goals, as stated whenever people request the site require ID verification for protection. (It would dissuade a lot of people from joining. 😒)

    The gender imbalance is what tempts most women into charging for cuddles. 🤑 'Tis sad.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    @Calming_Hugs Society's rules don't restrict women from seeking affection, nor are they supposed to only get affection with sex. So this site is full of men who are exploring better rules (along with the usual creeps, of course), with some women who are willing to give them a chance. This creates a gender imbalance, which also means most women go pro, some because it's a good way to make money, and some because it reduces the amount of attention from men. This makes the gender imbalance seem worse.

    And then of course women get inundated with messages and if they're unlucky, it's creeper messages which drive them off the site. Those men actively prevent any sort of gender balance.

  • SoosonSooson

    @SunsetSnuggles so your inbox is a swinger?

    Just trying to get another serving of popcorn from @katota

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Sooson

  • skyhighsugarskyhighsugar

    This thread is wild. 🤠
    Having a positive experience with someone does not entitle you to any kind of friendship or relationship. Some connections are short lived. And as a woman who mostly cuddles men, we have to be careful who we “set off” by either being honest or continuing a connection that was best left as a one time encounter. It could cost us as much as our life. The sad reality, and why screening is super important but even that can only get you so far for safety.

    That being said, ask yourself why it matters and why you’re taking it personally if you’re sure it can’t have been something you did. Nobody can give you an answer except the pro, but closure is a luxury not a right. In the absence of closure, draw your own conclusion.

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