Can you explain why it is important to send people a photo of you before you meet?

HealingSystemHealingSystem
in General

Hey there. I'm a blind user, and I don't really understand why it is important to send a photo of yourself before you meet with someone. I've heard some people explain that it's a safety thing, but I don't understand that.
The only logical explanation that I am thinking of is to make sure that the sighted person knows who to look for when trying to find someone at the location. That's the only reason that I can think of.

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Comments

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I’m just a regular user, and I don’t really understand it either.

    But what I think it is that sending a photo of oneself is so easy - if they are willing to hide that, what more are they hiding?

    My guess is that it makes the other person feel like you are more honest and open which makes theme feel safer.

    There is also the reality of life where plenty of people have physical preferences even for platonic cuddling.

  • JubalJubal

    As much as some on here will badmouth this, aesthetic appeal truly is important to many people in cuddling or for other platonic activities. After all, if you're going to be snuggled up close with someone, doesn't it make sense that it's nicer to cuddle with someone who is pleasing to the eye? Of course, one has to bear in mind the old adage that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" (or maybe the phrase could be modified to "beauty is in the perception of the beholder").

    On a practical level, yes, it's a big safety measure to verify that the person you're meeting with is the same one you've been presented with online. There must be few things more disconcerting than to meet someone in person after exchanging online messages, only to realize that the photos the person sent aren't the person you're meeting.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    It's absolutely a safety thing. Many cuddlers have a safety contact with whom they will share the photo of the person they are going to meet. They are going to be in an intimate setting with a complete stranger off the Internet. Best to have something to show the police if need be.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I’m not a Pro but that doesn’t matter.
    Each is Free to Make Their Own Choice!
    I would never have a session at my home (or theirs) without seeing how they look first. I’m very visual and especially need to see kindness, openness & honesty in their eyes, relaxed body language shows in a photo to anyone who is very perceptive.
    “A picture is worth thousand words”
    My choice. Like it or not. If someone won’t provide, cool. Move on.
    I’ve received a photo from someone who showed anger and aggression as their personality. No thanks.
    ⭐️But, for meeting in public or just chatting, I don’t need it before that.

  • [Deleted User]cuddlylove143 (deleted user)

    I don’t require a photo before meeting.

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    @g_w_t_w you could really tell a person's personality just buy a photo of them? As a blind person, I'm trying to wrap my head around how this is even possible, and it's just not working. It sounds like a super power. Not even kidding.

  • jabraham96jabraham96

    I don’t even ask for photos, I video chat with the person so I know who to expect when I’m meeting up with them. It is a safety issue especially if you’ve never met the person before. And plus , I’ve been catfished on this site, which is what caused me to start the video chat process before I meet up with a woman to cuddle with. It’s not just a safety thing precautions for me, but for the women I meet up with as well because I have to put their safety into consideration as well. And in my experience, a good 95% of the women who refused to video chat me ended up being scammers, fake accounts or some type of catfish that has ending up saving my life in the long run. I’m not gonna meet up with someone who I don’t know what they look like or someone who doesn’t have any karma/reviews on their account, that’s just foolish

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Yes I can tell. You’re you, I’m me. You do things your way, fine with me. I have many years of life experience.
    I’m also a professional illustrator, portrait artist, graphic designer. My professional career began in 1971. I draw faces for a living.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    Users of this site are encouraged to utilize whatever means necessary to make themselves feel safe. In most cases, they choose their strategies based on what they and others have historically found to be helpful.

    When a user communicates their needs in regard to safety, it's known as setting a boundary. One of the first ways that boundary-setting contributes to safety is when the person being screened responds to that boundary. If there's pushback, that's usually a red flag.

    In case where a particular cuddler's strategy for safety does not match up with another's need for privacy, both members are free to make the decision to continue their search elsewhere.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @JoyfulHeart
    So perfectly said. Boundaries, either way.

  • Erin_Elle_Erin_Elle_
    edited September 2024

    I don’t even ask for photos, I video chat with the person so I know who to expect when I’m meeting up with them. […] I’ve been catfished on this site, which is what caused me to start the video chat process before I meet up with a woman to cuddle with. It’s not just a safety thing precautions for me, but for the women I meet up with as well because I have to put their safety into consideration as well. And in my experience, a good 95% of the women who refused to video chat me ended up being scammers, fake accounts or some type of catfish that has ending up saving my life in the long run.

    @jabraham96 YES! Well said. 🙌 This is been my experience and conclusion, too.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Re video chats before they meet I have heard pros say they don't do this because so many men have used that as a means of free time with them and then never follow up with the actual paid cuddle appt, or they will use it as a means to be an exhibitionist sexually or try to coerce the pro into showing their bodies.

  • CaringSoulCaringSoul

    @pmvines 💯 yes so true, thank you!

    If potential client has no profile photo, I REQUIRE them to send me their face photo, BEFORE I agree to accept their cuddle session request. Banned clients often come back again with a new account. Some of those banned clients are dangerous & have assaulted others. This has ALWAYS been part of my safety protocol vetting process. Most of the clients are 99.9999% men. As a woman, it's EXTREMELY risky & dangerous to meet FACELESS strangers you meet on the Internet. I WON'T compromise my own personal safety for those who DON'T respect or value my OWN NEED to feel safe. For me, safety comes first. Bottom line, whichever one chooses, either face photo or video chat before agreeing to meet in person for cuddle session is something most people would want for safety reasons.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes
    edited September 2024

    @HealingSystem i cannot imagine what it's like to be sightless and i don't know if you can imagine what it's like to be sighted. I believe that picture tells me a lot about person. It truly doesn't tell me everything but it gives me clues to the person. For one of they are honest. Imagine expecting to meet a woman and a woman shows up. It's simple as that. It's not going to give me all i need to know but it gives me more information i need to make a decision. I'm sure there are ways you get information that i would not. Maybe the sound of a voice, maybe the cadence in which they speak. Some clues you have in to a person is not easily attainable through one method of communication.

    I believe it is a super power to parse information that isn't directly given, or intentionally withheld. Some examples could involve health and cleanliness of a person. Sure in most cases you probably cannot see all health Or hygiene practices but you can get a clue. Sometimes certain things can be explained but you could be surprised. I don't want to sound judgmental but let's say a person had a large goiter or their neck and with holds that information. You go to cuddle and you find out without warning. I would be worried about my reaction to such a surprise because i know it may be hurtful, but it also would make me uncomfortable with out expecting it. Imagine expecting a petite woman and in the embrace it's nothing as you expected.

    Sure i could ask measurements, weight and sizes but that would be equally uncomfortable for me to ask as I'm sure it would be to answer. A photo eliminates that issue.

    Maybe being sightless you are more accepting of that sort of surprise because I'm sure there are things you are comfortable with not knowing. But as a person that is sighted a surprise can be unsettling. Of course I'm speaking for myself and I've only offered examples that came to mind immediately but i believe there are many more.

    I didn't even get to the idea of safety i only talked about comfort and trust. I feel the need to be comfortable when meeting folks and want to be able to trust who i let in my space. It doesn't work 100% of the time but it i think it increases my opportunity to make good choices.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    For me, it’s definitely for safety and also so I know what you look like when we meet in public first.

    I’m glad I haven’t had to do this but if I ever have a cuddler that pushes my boundaries to the point of raping me, I at least have a name and photo to take to the police. Most times, cops won’t do anything but having a photo of the person is always better than having nothing except a vocal description.

    And I also meet them at a cafe or public spot before having our cuddle so that we can have a nice ice breaker in a neutral zone before getting into an intimate and more personal environment. So if I’m meeting you in public, I’d rather not go up to each guy in the area and say “Micheal? Are you Micheal?” No, I’m not doing that. And it’s good to be on equal ground. You know what I look like, I want to know what you look like. It’s good to have a face to the conversations.

    I only met up with one person in my 5 and a half years without getting a photo and it went well but it was confusing meeting in public. I didn’t know who to look out for.

    But for safety reasons, everyone should get a photo before meeting.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I also conversed with someone who described themselves as blind, she offered a photo. I felt ok with what i saw, we discussed many things and she seemed excited about a cuddle. Until it was time that we might, apparently some understanding of our cuddle was missed because after making the plans she ghosted me. I'm not sure why but it was in something i said, i assume. She could have had someone view my picture and she decided i wasn't the guy for her but I'll never know. But i have other clues that it was something i said that was based on her expectations and her assumptions of mine.

  • huggaboo_babyhuggaboo_baby

    Its for safety,, CC doesnt provide any safe measures, anyone can create an account and use any picture, email ect... so to TRY TO prevent human trafficking or harm, we ask for a selfie to atleast make sure we are talking to and seeing the same person on the site that reached out.. also if anything happens there is record in ir phone who i were last with... I dont understand how ppl dont understand this.. its pretty clear the profiles of clients dont require any REAL info..

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    @BashfulLoner thank you for the response. I have a question, what is a goiter?

  • anjicuddlesanjicuddles

    I think for me wanting to see a photo is mainly so that I have an idea of who I’m looking for at the location!

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @HealingSystem im not sure if i even spelled the word right. But i believe it's a large growth that is formed from dietary things or lack of maybe iodine? Like a large cyst or bump. Not sure if it's hard or soft but i believe it happens to some people.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    Goiter - Irregular growth of the thyroid — a butterfly-shaped gland at the base of the neck just below the Adam's apple.
    A goiter may be an overall enlargement of the thyroid. Or it may be the result of irregular cell growth that forms one or more lumps, called nodules, in the thyroid. In some cases, a goiter might not change the way the thyroid works. In others, it may lead to an increase or decrease in thyroid hormones.

    I've seen pictures and they can be shocking in extreme cases but sounds like they are not always very noticeable.

  • Kleo26Kleo26

    @Sheena123 fully agree with you 👌🏻
    BTW: During the last couple of weeks there are more and more guys who do not want to send their photo or video chat… then I see them banned or deleted. Autumn ?! 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    Considering the number of scammers and catfish here I would want to verify they are a real person. Though really, I want to make the other person feel safe since that is more of a concern for me. I send a photo of myself holding a paper with my username and theirs, and the date (and a little greeting), despite already having photos on my profile.

    I highly suggest this because whenever I see the inbox of a member that I’m about to ban, they use the same photo for everyone and who knows how old it is or if it is them. It can be very dangerous and I do not suggest meeting people you haven’t screened enough to make you feel comfortable.

  • OliveGreenOliveGreen
    edited September 2024

    I ask for a photo usually holding up fingers or different household objects so when I meet the potential client their photo and their face matches. It's a safety thing.

    That being said if you refuse to show me a photo or only want to send it after we exchange contact I will decline the session. If something does happen, Cuddle Comfort has your face 🙂

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @Kleo26 lol yup. What a coincidence eh? 😂

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    Hey there, everyone. I added a photo of myself to my profile so you don't have to ask.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited September 2024

    I don’t blame anyone for requesting photos, it makes a lot of sense and nobody needs to justify the request for a photo prior to meeting.

    That said, I don’t think photos are as useful today as many people believe them to be for safety purposes.

    With software, I can take any of my photos and distort them just enough that I would still be easily recognizable to you when I walked into a coffee shop but modified enough that the photos would be worthless for facial recognition algorithms to match that photo to any photos of me that have appeared in online media outlets.

    Technology is neutral - it is never inherently good or bad, it all depends on what people do with it. If you want to make getting a photo a part of your vetting process, that still seems like a good idea. Just don’t get lulled into a false sense of security thinking that a photo is all you need.

  • TeacuphuggerTeacuphugger

    It’s absolutely a safety matter. They want to hide or withhold, I decline.
    Their choice to hide or withhold speaks volumes. Im here for healthy, positive environment and energy exchanges

  • SolarisSolaris

    @HealingSystem I'm curious, do you ever get an impression of someone just by being near them, before they say much? Or through a hand shake or hug? Even the tone in someone's voice?

    I think that assessing a cuddling fit though a photo is kind of like those things.

    In my experience, I get a decent idea of someone just by a photo about two thirds of the time. 67% of the time after I meet them I feel like I was mostly right. And 33% of the time I feel very surprised.

    Intuition is real and powerful. I heard someone describe intuition as the wisdom of the body. The body knows things. Knowledge isn't the sole domain of the brain. There are neurons in the heart and stomach that give us information all the time. But it's not through thoughts, it's through feelings. Intuition.

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    @billiam sometimes I do, but they always have to say something first. Otherwise I won't know.

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