So I recently had a situation where a pro canceled a session pretty much right at the last minute. Their father who was in hospice, who they were told had a month to live, was scheduled to die that night instead. They had to say their goodbyes.
This was pretty terrible news for them, and I could totally emphasize because my dad has cancer too. We had texted eachother a bit prior because generally I like to get a feel for the other person before meeting them. My conversations with them were generally pleasant and supportive.
Unfortunately though this wasn't really the only issue, because I had also sent them the full payment for the session prior and hadn't yet met them in person.
After a bit over a day of radio silence from them, I felt the need to politely inform them that while I was very sorry for their loss, I would need them to either resume some level of communication with me or refund the money I sent them within the next couple of days. The lack of communication was making me uncomfortable as they were holding on to a pretty large amount of my money.
I don't think this was pretty unreasonable right? A bit cold and unsensitive maybe, but In my mind also very much necessary given the situation from my end. This was starting to smell like a scam.
Oh boy was I wrong. What I was hoping would be handled professionally resulted in a pretty long text accusing me of being cold and heartless for even asking that to someone who was grieving, and finally revealing my true colors. The "pro" accused me of playing games. Pretending to care when I only cared about my own money, and leading them to believe that I wanted to spend time with them and I support them through their father's passing.
To which I responded, "No I never said I wanted to be there for you at all to support your fathers passing. Why would I pay you money for that?"
I did get an apology and the money back, but I this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Making me curious what the common denominator here is. If it keeps happening to me then I must be the problem here yeah?
At another point a pro who I had been seeing for an extended period of time told me that at this point we were "pretty much friends". I told her that no, we weren't friends. Friends do not pay eachother. We will never be friends. I could tell that this hurt her. But I didn't care. I was just being honest.
And don't get me started on the times I seem to have hurt someone after a session occurred. "When will I be seeing you again?" To which I usually reply, "Probably never. I'm not often a repeat client. Goodbye!"
I'm not really sure what other people's reasons for being here. But my reasons are pretty clear to me. I've been hurt way too many times in the past. I've had my heart ripped out. So my interactions with women always end with me refusing to let them in, closing myself off, and pretty much end with them crying a whole lot and me leaving.
You can probably say I have something akin to the Midas Touch. Only everything I touch turns to shit instead of gold. There's a good reason why I'm keeping you at a distance. Please stop trying to love me. I'm pretty much a lost cause.
I figured this would be the perfect place for me, because let's be honest, there is something pretty heartless about charging someone money to cuddle with them. It's a cheapening of human interaction. Like junk food. Addictive, probably unhealthy in the long term, but overall delicious. To me it felt safe. It was perfect for my situation, right?
But then you see all these pros, who have it on their profiles things like, "I will be your friend. I give you unconditional love." Am I the only one who is being honest with themself here?
If I'm paying you with my money, following all the site rules, following the client service agreement, being respectful and cordial with you, then what's the issue here? Why are there so often expectations outside of what was agreed upon?
I'm starting to think that the reality here is that a large number of the pros on this site are looking for some kind of ongoing arrangement where multiple people keep paying them money to be in some kind of pseudo-friendship with them. And if that's the case shame on them. You aren't therapists. Stop taking advantage of the people on here and leave.
Anyways rant over. This is definitely going to cause some drama, but I felt like it needed to be said unfortunately.