@Auroradream I haven’t had anyone say that to me, but I agree 💯 with you.
@Ineedahugortwo I think my reasons for joining this website still stand. It's more about satisfying curiosity and seeking insight than seeking genuine affection, because the affection here is conditional and not genuine. If I wanted affection and actual connection I would simply just find someone to cuddle for free.
I think most cuddlers here like @Auroradream thrive on men's self esteem issues or physical ailments. Because it really isn't that hard for the average person to find someone to cuddle for free. The service they provide is indeed, pretty much worthless because of it. Especially if they aren't expected to act at all professional. It's sort of like selling rocks.
I'm not saying that the person behind the service is worthless. Just the service itself mind you.
As far as this thread goes, I feel like it's been very insightful for me and I'm pretty happy with the outcome. I'm not really here to seek attention and I've been pretty honest with the fact that I don't care what people think of me or how they treat me, though it's almost like people here don't listen to what I say and keep trying to read behind the lines for something that simply isn't there.
@Ripley54566 if I’m understanding correctly, this like an experiment for you, where you try to find evidence that supports your already made up view of paid cuddles, and anything else that doesn’t fit into that View, gets discarded?
@Ineedahugortwo No. I don't think you are understanding correctly at all actually. You should probably try that again.
I'm simply engaging in discussion. I'll happily concede if anyone can provide me with evidence that destroys this view. So far I think everything said in this thread supports it though.
@Ripley54566
Because it really isn't that hard for the average person to find someone to cuddle for free.
Thanks, I needed the laugh. The reasons why this isn't true have been widely talked about in the forums. Along with various people who can't find someone to cuddle unless they're willing to pay.
Just because you only have selfish motivations doesn't mean it's true for other people.
@IronLemon I haven't actually seen these reasons. Can you elaborate on them?
@Ineedahugortwo I think you've hit the nail on the head. He's come up with a conclusion, and is carefully interpreting everything to support that. Anything contrary gets discarded under "I don't care".
@Ripley54566 Like I said, they've been widely discussed on the forums. You posted this, so I know you know about the forums. Unless this was just a one-shot shitpost.
It would take too long for me to type up a long essay that I don't know if you'd pay any attention to. I'm sure you'd read it, but also sure you'd ignore anything you disagree with. Better for you to just read through the forums.
@IronLemon You made the point though, so you have to show evidence for your claim. This is what burden of proof is.
@Ripley54566 You've made quite a few unsubstantiated claims in this thread, including that it's easy for the average person to find someone to cuddle for free. But if you really are having trouble looking through the forums and finding one of those many threads, let me know.
@IronLemon Sure. Let's assume for the sake of discussion that I am in fact having trouble finding one of those threads. Go find me one please.
@Ripley54566 Of course, after you post something (not by you) supporting how easy it is for the average person to find someone to cuddle for free.
@IronLemon Why would I do that? I have no interest in changing your mind. Go ahead and keep believing what you want.
@Ripley54566 You made a claim. And now you refuse to support it. And I know nothing I say will change your mind, so you go on believing what you want to believe. Just try not to insult so many people in the process.
Since I know you're going to ask, you insulted a lot of caring and decent people by saying the service they offer is worthless, based on your unsubstantiated beliefs.
@IronLemon I suppose even rocks do have some value to some people. Especially if you give them a fancy packaging and all.
This just honestly infuriates me. Somehow, telling the truth and saying "I probably won't see you again" is not socially acceptable. But lying and saying, "I'll be in touch" is socially acceptable. I would much rather have someone say something outright mean to me like, "I never want to see you again," as opposed to saying "I'll be in touch" and then ghosting me.
@MountainCuddles Honest communication is very important for setting personal boundaries.
It is also extremely important to be honest with who you are, what your personal views are, and why you are doing the things you are doing in life. This helps you maintain your own integrity and personal autonomy, and also prevents you from unconsciously forcing other people to fit in with how you want them to be.
Unfortunately I think a lot of people here are unable to recognize this. They see someone who doesn't fit in with the cuddly huggy archetype and immediately grab their pitchforks.
You are very brave for being one of the few people in this thread to voice disagreement with the common mindset. I don't see anything wrong with what you are saying. I think it is good way of thinking.
Don't let the hugbox bully you into being the person they want you to be.
@MountainCuddles If you are doing that and know you are hurting people, why do it? People who are brutally honest tend to be a lot more interested in the brutal than the honest. You can say "Maybe," or "We'll see," or "I don't know what my schedule will be the next several weeks." Cuddling is not supposed to be an exercise in cruelty.
@WriterGF Why do you think it's cruel to be honest with people? I don't think there's anything brutal about it. I think it's the right thing to do.
And again with the accusations. I've heard so many people in this thread say something along the lines like "People like this tend to be this kind of person. So that means you are this kind of person." It's toxic.
As a side note, I think it's very telling that there are people who reached out to support me in this thread who have done so privately. This community probably isn't as cuddly as it'd like to think of itself as.
@Ripley54566 I may be in the minority but I totally understand what you and @MountainCuddles mean. Many people who are active on the forum are very emotionally needy. But definitely not everyone. There are some who feel compelled to try to control others. I feel bad for some of you because a cuddle might never be enough.
@g_w_t_w
I think a lot of people here tend to be people pleasers, so the idea that someone isn't interested in pleasing others may seem taboo in this context.
I think the statement by @WriterGF pretty much sums it up nicely.
"If you are doing that and know you are hurting people, why do it?"
If what you deem the most morally acceptable action is simply the one that avoids the most anger and hurt feelings, then that's people pleasing. Which is the wrong thing to do in my opinion.
I personally feel like a person should instead maintain a strong conviction to what they stand for and what they believe in.
Honesty, communication, and integrity are important to me in this case and I'm generally going to put them above any hurt feelings.
@g_w_t_w He's just another guy complaining about paying for cuddling. He see no value in it. And yet he does pay, which proves there IS value. Cuddling is a luxury; even life's necessities aren't free. (I already agreed that pros offering up their love is icky. But OP can NEXT those profiles.)
@starrynitecuds That’s what makes the forum so fascinating and an actual learning experience because I got a very different interpretation from it. And either way is valid for all of us. I always like to read your views.
@g_w_t_w I'm not interpreting, I'm quoting:
I figured this would be the perfect place for me, because let's be honest, there is something pretty heartless about charging someone money to cuddle with them. It's a cheapening of human interaction. I think most cuddlers here like @Auroradream thrive on men's self esteem issues or physical ailments. Because it really isn't that hard for the average person to find someone to cuddle for free. The service they provide is indeed, pretty much worthless because of it. Especially if they aren't expected to act at all professional. It's sort of like selling rocks. I'm not saying that the person behind the service is worthless. Just the service itself mind you.
@starrynitecuds
Yes and no. I think "paid" cuddling is completely worthless and heartless. Because I feel like it removes what makes cuddling special, which is that sense of genuineness. To me it's not real affection because you can't put a price on that.
I am complaining about what I see as a sense of entitlement in many pros here. No one owes you anything outside of what was agreed upon. The same way you don't owe me a cuddle. It's disrespectful to a person's autonomy as a human being.
I have never actually intentionally paid for cuddling here. I've mostly paid for experiences. There are pros who really do a good job, acting professional, and make the experience worthwhile. Then there are pros who just show up to the session and cuddle you. I don't actually care that the latter exists. I just try my best not to book with these people because I just don't see any value in what they provide.
I think @Auroradream is an objectively great person. Inside and out. I got to meet her and she’s an absolutely amazing human being . She works as a caregiver outside of Cuddling and that action itself speaks volume.
@MajesticMango I tend to see people as a bit more complex then "good or bad". Usually it's a mix which is why I prefer to judge actions, not people.
It really doesn’t matter to me, ultimately, if someone else has an opinion that’s different than mine. I can still find it interesting but that’s all it is just an interesting but different opinion.
I simply just don't see any personal benefit to being kind or considerate to others or how they feel.
@Ripley54566 the more I read your post the more it makes sense to me but the statement above I just can’t support or get behind. Being kind or considerate to others shouldn’t lead to expectations or benefits. For me personally I like helping people I like people to be happy. I don’t want anyone to be sad or suffer and I’m not saying that your actions would cause that. I’ve had people treat me badly before, but that doesn’t stop me from being kind or considerate or change who I am. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is put my glasses on so that I can see better. I feel if I lived my life not being kind or considerate to people It’s like I could still function and live my life, but not to the full spectrum that I could with my glasses on I feel like you might be missing some of that. I think it’s important for people to do good without expecting anything in return.