@lonelytauros You don't need to get behind or support everything about me and that's okay.
"I don’t want anyone to be sad or suffer" this might be where we differ. I tend to see both sadness and suffering as a necessary facet of life. They are just as important to me as being happy.
Which is why I generally don't go around trying to change the way people feel. How am I supposed to know that what I would consider kind is what would ultimately be good for this person? I don't. It's up to them to tell me what they need, and it's up to me to decide if I'm willing to give that to them.
To clarify further, it's my "intentions" towards others that are never meant to to be kind or considerate. I never try to be nice to people. I try to be consistent with what I deem right, and this is completely done for my own benefit. Because a person's actions are what create their character and that is important to me.
This doesn't mean that I can't be seen as kind or good, nor does it mean I can't be seen as a horrible human being. People's opinions of a person vary wildly depending on who you ask. So why not live life for yourself?
@Ineedahugortwo
if I’m understanding correctly, this like an experiment for you, where you try to find evidence that supports your already made up view
🎯🎯🎯 I think you nailed it. A lawyer I know calls this phenomenon “arguing from a conclusion” as opposed to “arguing toward a conclusion”.
@JohnR1972
"Don’t pay deposits, especially large deposits, and especially if it’s your first time." This was the conclusion. It was already made way back. I agreed with it. That is where I held myself accountable.
I had zero interest in arguing about the kind of person I am. Most of it wasn't arguments anyway, just personal attacks and assumptions of who I am being disguised as arguing.
Today, it's enough to hurt pros emotionally and make them cry. Is that going to be enough tomorrow, or will there be a need to escalate?
@WriterGF I generally expect "pros" to act professional no matter what circumstance they find themselves in. If they can't do that then they should take it upon themselves to work through whatever they are going through, give themselves the space they need, and leave me and my money out of it.
Sorry if this sounds fucked up, but I think it's fair from my point of view considering I would hold myself to exactly the same kind of standard.
@MajesticMango thanks sister I feel the same about you! Those were some cruel things the OP said but I really didn't know how to defend myself. I do thrive on giving people attentive care...my entire life- as a mother, teacher, social worker, and caregiver for the elderly, hospice and disabled...and as a cuddle provider. When I'm able to manage sadness, pain, struggles,or isolation, and make that better, for a day or a few hours, for another soul who needs just what I have to offer, it's my own lifeline to finding contentment. And caregiving thankfully provides me health insurance and full time work that I love. But it pays almost the same as my kid gets working in a smoke shop as a cashier. I would not imagine asking my rate as a platonic cuddle provider if I didn't believe in its merit. When I was newer, I had a lower rate but gave myself a raise based on my experiences and reviews. The OP looked at my profile and my pics and I assume read many appreciative reviews, but still insists I'm a polished rock. I say this old lump of coal occasionally shines like a diamond and @Ripley54566 your attitude will ever prevent you from finding someone like that to associate or cuddle with at any cost.
Shout out to @IronLemon!! I'm sorry this dude exists on here, you're amazing and clever and lovely on the inside and out. Love seeing your comments.
@Auroradream I don't think I ever said anything about you as a person.
@Auroradream It sounds like you have a pretty good boss. 😜😁 (which is half the battle ...)
@Auroradream Actually this is kind of making me think now. Are you generally unable to set yourself apart from the work you do? Some of the pros I've talked to struggle with self esteem issues. It's almost like if they don't get any clients then they feel, well, unwanted in a way?
You pretty much told me I thought you were a "polished rock" entirely based on the karma you have. What if you say had, no karma, or bad karma? Would that affect the way you viewed yourself?
@Ripley54566
@GuyverGordon
Flagged and reviewed. Removing image. [CharlieBear]
@Ripley54566 No, dude You're simply trying to be mean. I'm sorry but my self esteem is in good shape. I even like myself well enough to go hey man don't be a bully me and my friends don't deserve that. I can't do anything for you that your mama clearly failed at. Now stop saying mean and ignorant stuff, because I don't think you'll last long on the playground. I shall disengage with this hideous train wreck of a person and thread. I'll check back to see when he gets banned, though.
@Auroradream
@Auroradream Okay fair enough.
I'm not actually trying to be mean, but I'm also not trying to be nice.
I don't think there's anything that says I can't criticize the service you provide. The mods here are actually really respectable and fair. If they choose to ban me I'll assume it's for good reason.
I have made friends with so many genuine, kind, and caring people here (enthusiasts and pros alike) that this is just a depressing read.
@CharlieBear
It takes all colors to make a rainbow 🌈
So why not live life for yourself?
@Ripley54566 I think all of us live our life for ourselves to some extent but at some point some of us change and get enjoyment from helping out others. I’m not here to save anyone or rescue anyone I’m not here to judge anyone either. I do believe that sadness and suffering are a part of life. It even helps some people grow, but if I can alleviate some of that, I will, but I’m not going to force myself on anyone that doesn’t want my help. Sometimes people do have to go through that period alone. I think there’s a lot of enjoyment in camaraderie and brotherhood whether it be going to a baseball game and rooting for your team or sharing a nice meal or drink with a friend anytime I can see a person smile It makes me smile inside.
@Ripley54566 But notice black (or white) isn't in the rainbow .... some colors can be excluded ...
@lonelytauros
When I was a kid, I used to cry everytime my parents tried to kill a bug. I would pick the bug up and place it outside and let it live its life.
It's kind of funny how different the person I've become is from that person.
It's sort of like learning what fire is. Why am I going to stick my hand in the flame again and again? I already know what fire feels like.
Anyways that's generally how I view being kind to others as. I pretty much constructed an entire world view where I no longer see any need for it.
I'm sorry this happened to you but guys don't send money to the ladies before meeting .I ask guys when I show up for money we both at peace most them tip me well afterwards of cuddles .no drama I make sure I give little massage to relax them we both leave happy ☺️most guys here are gentlemen so it's easy to make them happy
@Ripley54566 our exchanges have been very civil here on this thread and I respect that I think in that regard actually a lot of people can learn something from you.
I think that it is good that you’re honest with yourself and with others. you’ve gone through a metamorphosis and you can see that and are aware of it.
I understand your thoughts about the fire, but sometimes relationships or friendships or connections can only be forged by going through that fire.
@Ripley54566 You are obviously an intelligent guy who is well spoken and enjoys the give and take on the forums. None of this is ever personal [at least for me] and you clearly wanted a reaction.
This Post [as Posts always do-has shifted into a separate discussion] Now- it is supposedly about- “Honesty” vs Being Fake-I guess is the point you and others are now making.
If One is not Brutally honest about everything -that does not make them fake-That’s absolutely ridiculous.It is called Wisdom-you don’t have to say everything you believe all the time. @WriterGF spoke nicely about this
It sounds like you,ironically enough. are not being honest even in this post.
You claim to have been supportive and then a day later tell them-It’s not your place to support them.
On the surface-we all would agree-People don’t owe anyone anything.
But a person’s Father passing away is a valid reason to postpone a session.
There is something called decorum.
Sure you can be “brutally honest” if you and others think that is some kind of virtue in every situation.
Some of us feel a little tact and empathy goes a long way.
Since you are now the champion of honesty.
I ask you-was this honest?-these are your words.
_This was pretty terrible news for them, and I could totally emphasize because my dad has cancer too. _ _ My conversations with them were generally pleasant and supportive._
You don’t sound like you are empathetic to them and you certainly don’t sound supportive.
That is definitely you’re right to act how you like-But if Honesty is now the most cherished virtue this post is about- You might be lacking a little bit-if you are honest with yourself.
"You wait a moment, Doctor. Let’s get it right. I’ve got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first.
Never be cruel, never be cowardly. And never ever eat pears! Remember – hate is always foolish…and love, is always wise.
Always try, to be nice and never fail to be kind. Oh, and….and you mustn’t tell anyone your name. No-one would understand it anyway. Except….
Except….children. Children can hear it. Sometimes – if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too. Children can hear your name.
But nobody else. Nobody else. Ever.
Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.
Doctor – I let you go."
@BrianOcean
I appreciate you trying to appeal to what I believe in rather than trying to force your beliefs onto me and getting mad when the piece doesn't fit
To answer your question: Yes I did care about this person and their father's passing. I care about people probably more deeply than I think a lot of people here realize.
They shared this information with me openly and willingly. I didn't ask for it.
The entire situation went freakishly wrong, and it could have been avoided had I not sent them the entire payment.
I think the part that a lot of people aren't getting is that I generally am the kind of person who tries to do what I feel needs to be done at the time it needs to be done. I have a ton of empathy. But I choose to ignore it when I feel like the situation calls for it.
I don't think there's anything that says I can't criticize the service you provide.
From the forum rules:
“Professional Cuddling: Please avoid continuous unnecessary negativity about professional cuddling as it is not conducive to open discussion and risks making professionals feel unwelcome on the forum.”
You can criticize, but you are also being incredibly cold and negative. That doesn’t seem to matter to you based on what I have read, but it’s also not appropriate to post here.
@CharlieBear I'll tone it down a bit then. Thank you.