@Mike403, I communicated that, we waited, met last night. Guess what? He did not respect my pre-established boundaries, I had to always be on the alert to tell him to stop. So he WAS pushy, and in refusing to hear what I was explaining about how boundaries work, WAS disrespectful.
That is not to say it was awful - he did stop at no and at times I could relax. But I never could relax completely, which defeats the purpose and ultimately wasted my time and gas.
@Waltraud I'm not saying there isn't people who wont try to push boundaries, but I don't believe that suggesting a meeting after a short time frame is a red flag or disrespectful by itself. Anybody can easily manipulate women and make them think they are something, so you have to be on your guard no matter what. Even Ted Bundy was able to easily gain womans trust.
@Mike403
Your red flags are probably wrong Any guy could be Ted Bundy
Your red flags are probably wrong
Any guy could be Ted Bundy
Also my favorite
Women are easily manipulated
I say go with your gut and it's not up to others to tell you what to think or how you should feel about it . End of story , period, full stop . Not up to any one on here to try and convince you otherwise.
You don't have to meet anyone you aren't comfortable with. I was just confused on how that one action alone can be seen as a red flag. I get called 'creep' for certain behaviors and can't understand why...especially since I'm autistic don't naturally understand social rules.
@Waltraud I sincerely apologize if I come across as trying to control your thoughts. I just have a real hard time understanding how and why people think the way they do.
Hugs
I think the connection between messaging to ask if you can meet essentially “right now” and disrespect is that it feels like the person might be needy/lonely and acting from that need, and willing to reduce you to a way to meet that need. It’s the question of, do they care about me, or are they just using me? When messaging with a stranger you’ve never met, you use every clue you have. Someone who doesn’t care about you as a person might not respect your boundaries.
Technically, “respects boundaries” and “isn’t just using me to meet a need” are separate things. Someone who respects boundaries can still just be using you for a cuddle, and you can use them back if you are comfortable with having a “cuddle booty call,” as opposed to a real friendship.
@pmvines - it may not be up to others to tell you how to think, but she asked for the opinions of others - and that's what she got. It's up to her to evaluate those other opinions and act as she sees fit.
@UKGuy I think thats exactly what hes saying, that our oppinions dont matter and to follow what she feels is right
There’
@grumpcat yup ! But that Is of course just my opinion ?
In the great words of Toucan Sam, just follow your nose !!
@UKGuy I was hoping to hear from others who have experienced it (and a few respondents had), but I welcome any opinion as it does help me get the lay of the land here.
@Mike403 apology accepted ✌
Cuddle Call? I've done it.
I don't make it a habit and I've encountered a few red flags that made me decline offers.
Overall if there's chemistry and trust I'm open to it.
I trust my gut.
(to the tune of 'My Humps") - My gut. My gut. My choco cuddly gut.
*I was high when I wrote this, excuse while I delete myself.
I work a lot for my job and while I usually like to plan cuddling session with days or weeks in advance, sometimes my schedule changes and need to make last minute decisions. That means I'm "guilty" of sending "day of" requests. I don't think wanting to meet the same day by itself that should be considered a "red flag" (as most times I'm able to find an available cuddling partner at the last minute) but I guess it depends on the context of the conversation.