It is extremely refreshing to see that the OP was not lambasted for his question.
I would be curious to know why he was banned.
There are certainly safety protocols everyone should follow-particularly female cuddlers.
While someone refusing to give out their last name may be seen as a safety issue-Someone needing to know your last name could easily be seen as a security issue.
Both should be equally respected and both should be protected and not taken lightly.
@starrynitecuds has some sound advice-
_" It's up to every person to set their own boundaries and stick to them. Those with the boundary must be willing to walk away when someone else pushes or refuses it, especially when, as you said, the SA risk is so real." _
Knowing a name without truly knowing that is the person's identity gives a placebo effect of safety, but don't make the mistake of assuming your safety is guaranteed. Creepers gonna creep
Some require selfie of you holding id card (can black out sensitive data). It's for their security.
I just wish to add that just because something is normal doesn't mean it is okay. Anyone asking a question like this should ask if this is okay with me. Don't allow people to give you an identity and dictate your morals.
Yes what I wrote is much more general now that the OP is no longer here, I just feel it's important to say stuff like that.
I've never asked for last names. As long as I can talk to them and they have good Karma, then I'm good. But I do always let someone know where I'm going just in case.
I’m glad to see this post resurface as I’ve had a few moments, after reading profiles, concerned about safety (not for me, and I don’t go further at that point) or even wondering if there’s a real person behind the profile.
I mostly trust my instincts on this site, although I’ve thought to take more care, given the data breaches and hacking out there. I might also be too trusting of people, and I recognize I’m less vulnerable than many others on this site, including the women pros who see their share of shenanigans. In my limited experience every pro that’s been at this for a few months or more has at least one unsavory story. Plenty on the forums about that…
In a few messages I have a sense of motivation, and why they might ask for ID or other info. Every single cuddler I have met with has chosen to cuddle because they want to do something good in the world, for themselves and or others. So if a request comes in for name or ID it’s in a context of a larger conversation and I would consider the full chat. Open communication can do wonders to build trust of me as an enthusiast, and a bit of Karma along with message tone helps me with a gut check on the pro. I don’t ask for more.
I have booked, and had an intro call and decided it wasn’t a good match, and cancelled the booking. It didn’t feel right.
I don’t like sending a photo ID on any platform. Only once I was told by a pro cuddler that she would check my ID on arrival. I had told her my name and thought that was a good plan - she could see it on my ID. I was on board with that, and the cuddle time came and she didnt ask. I still offered it. She just smiled and said it’s ok. She too was relying on instinct perhaps. After the booking (and before the cuddle) we shared phone numbers and she possibly searched me. Maybe because I was so open to sharing my ID on arrival she was comfy.
So I’d say I’ve definitely been “cyber stalked” or more accurately, successfully googled, and once a cuddler inadvertently asked me about my job, revealing she did the Google. All fine for me. Good conversation too, she was genuinely interested and we talked about career choice and personality types.
I’m with @starrynitecuds - to each their own on this topic. Set yer privacy boundaries like physical boundaries - there are standard rules to follow in using the site, but if you want more caution in revealing personal information, take care and reveal only what you are comfortable with. Just know you might be turned down if your potential cuddle buddy does not feel safe.
Do men really not understand the need to feel safe? This is so puzzling to me, like they never put themselves in shoes of a smaller, less muscular person and what that would be like to invite a stranger into their bed.
I host at my home. If, for some reason, I wanted to keep my last name secret, a cuddle partner could punch the address into the town assessor website and find it that way. All depends on how much effort they want to make.
@Mare_Bear I feel the need to feel safe. Just because someone is slightly smaller doesn't mean they couldn't do whatever to you if they wanted.
@Mare_Bear I'm a female enthusiast, so it's curious why you're calling out men. Protecting myself is MY responsibility. If I'm not going to do it, why should anyone else? According to RAINN.org, 80% of SA are done by a perp known to the vic. Names are NOT a valid protection. As a pro, you set your own rates. You can raise your hourly amount and then pay a friend to shadow guard you while working. They can sit at the hotel or outside the house or drive you to the appointment and stay there; they're your contact person and outside eyes. You just pay for personal security. Problem solved.
No, names are not any kind of protection. They simply provide info you can give the police.
@WriterGF Well said.
I'm a victim of domestic violence and had to flee. Sorry not sorry no one gets my real name
@Janelle19 First-I'm glad you're OK I hope you truly heal from that and find a guy who will treat you properly.
Perhaps this website can bring you some comfort although you may want to exlplore other services to deal with the Trauma that comes with being abused by a pathetic excuse for a man.
All the best to you.
All I ask is a first and last name and a face pic, which I will also share (on my end) in return. That's it! 👍
I just require either a face photo or a quick video chat to confirm. Go by whatever name you want. My name isn't even my real name on here... I dont give it. I don't think its necessary
Men have a harder time finding clients, but an easier time feeling safe. I have been having strangers to my home for massages daily for nearly 10 years. I have never had a problem. Granted, 90% of my clients are women, but I’ve never had a problem with the male massage clients either. And I never ask for even first names; screen names are fine. Cuddling is a different story. I still do not ask for names for either men or women, but I do require a first meeting of men at a neutral location, and no same day cuddles for men.
@TheDreamWeaver daily? Wow! I'd assume you use a service for daily visits and that would give you an added level of security wouldn't it? A little different than this site. At least I'd assume because of licenses and what not.