How would you define the word bromance? When I was in the college that was my first experience with platonic male affection that felt safe and healthy. Can anyone else relate?
I don't define as bromance. Most of my best friends have been women. When I was a teen and preteen my close guy friends were mostly drug addicts and criminals. I had to move in a different direction and it just so happened that my loved ones and besties ended up not being guys. Which is fine because i have painted toenails and don't really care for sports and am a really good listener so it kinda tracks.
I wouldn't consider what you are describing as a bromance. I wouldn't say i am an expert on this particular subject but I'd say a bromance is a heterosexual admiration between men. I'm not sure how platonic affection would fit in to that but in my experience it does not. Unless it's words of affirmation or a brief hug or embrace. I'm open to the idea i don't have it defined correctly, but it's my experience.
I also have great man friends that have lasted my lifetime, few but they are strong. I wouldn't call any of them bromances. My best friends are often women. Some that I've been involved with and some that i have not but the relationships are strong and honest. Quality over quantity in my case.
It sounds to me that what you are describing is leaning toward a bisexual or homosexual type of experience. Even if sex did not become involved it may have been heading that way??? I don't know, only you can be the judge of that. I'll be looking forward to hearing more opinions. Keep in mind i am a man of a certain age and the ideas around that were fairly rigid when i was growing up so those are the ideas i learned. As we grow older we learn more so its possible i have this all wrong, but im not sure what kind of platonic physical contact id naturally have with another man that makes me comfortable aside from the general contact. Again i was raised up in the 1900s so that could be part of my thoughts if it.
Bromance is another unnecessary label asoociated with guys being good friends.
While I don't have a black & white definition of "bromance", one of the associations that I have for the term is guys who are not just good friends, but are comfortable enough with one another to be playful and silly.
I thought the origin of the term was linked to “bro” subculture of Southern California and was pejorative for those only close friends were also “bros”. Urban dictionary has several brutal definitions for bro…
💯
it's an unfortunate reality of gender dynamics that if men are close with one another it needs a kind of tongue in cheek label, like a sort of "no homo". in the perfect world, men should just be allowed to be close with each other without it requiring a separate label ☺️
If two men have a strong bond and enjoy hanging out or are close, no -labeling is a judgement others feel they must use to describe what they may covet to have someone/ something in their lives so dear. Hater-aid 🤢💚
Yeah! Exactly what @ReltvlyCanshes said!
@Jubal That sounds like an incredibly accurate definition, yes!
@ReltvlyCanshes I literally described it as “platonic” affection. Platonic means friendly and nonsexual. In no way, shape or form did I say it was sexual, so I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion? Men can be affectionate with each other without it being sexual? You’re being homophobic.
@lovingspoonfull makes sense, I grew up and live in SoCal
@zalea you’re 100% right and yet the irony of that statement is that other men will still label bromance as “homo”. I mean exhibit A is this discussion board…
....and while we label those we accuse of labeling, let's not forget to label @WetsideMarc a homophobe as well since he agreed with @ReltvlyCanshes.
@LukeJoseph26 I can relate to you’re experience in college as well! Regardless of label it’s awesome when two men/people in general can connect, while feeling safe!😁
@Sooson I’m glad you recognize how problematic homophobia is 👍
@SuperManCuddles Thanks bro!
@LukeJoseph26 Of course bro! 😎
@SuperManCuddles 😎🤜💥🤛😎
If we are being honest I think a Bromance is about two guys who are comfortable enough to be close and affectionate with one another in an intimate setting like two men cuddling in bed together, but without the anxiety or expectation of sex. At least that's the way I would define it because I would love an experience and relationship like that with another like-minded man.
At the risk of being repetitive, the only time I’ve ever heard bromance used it was mockingly. Sometimes jokingly but rarely.
I don’t use the term because friendship has always been enough.
Not sure I even want to try to “reclaim” or “civilize” the word since it comes from a place that suggests any true friendship between men is suspect.
@LukeJoseph26 @YabYumist
@LukeJoseph26 i hope i wasn't being homophobic, definitely wasn't my intention. What i meant to do was describe what i believed a bromance was, in my eyes. I apologize if i made any assumptions, i was only asking based on what i understand of what you described. I don't understand what you described i guess. It sounded like the type of experience that i would call what i did. I don't feel there is an issue either way. So with out going trying to start a fight, i believe your energy toward me was rather homophobic sir. You seem to be implying what i asked had a negative connotation, i only asked for understanding. But if you are referring to the type of platonic affection i described then i wouldn't consider that a bromance at all i would consider it interpersonal relationships and not really a bromance. Again based on my experience. I also explained that i live my life living in a homophobic world, so i can assure you i don't hold those values myself. So again i apologize that my understanding is offensive.
@ReltvlyCanshes
Apologies that use the word "if" are insincere because they imply that the apology isn't necessary or that that person apologizing isn’t responsible for the hurt that they caused.
Using "if" in an apology makes you sound insincere because you’re putting your ego before the other person's feelings. The point of an apology is to acknowledge that you're sorry not gaslight them.
“ So with out going trying to start a fight”
If you didn’t want to start a fight, maybe think before you speak next time?
“ i believe your energy toward me was rather homophobic sir”
To call out your homophobia isn’t homophobic towards you at all. That makes zero logical sense.
You’re straight (as described in your profile). It’s impossible for me to be homophobic against you.
@LukeJoseph26 You are correct. So i should apologize for implying that was an apology. I should not have used the words apology at all. I will be clear this time. I do believe what you may have been describing seemed to be homosexual in nature, without sex being involved. You didn't give many details so i would not know. But i also would not describe that as a bromance.
Yes your energy toward me was homophobic because you made an implication with your statement. The implication was i was saying something was wrong with your experience. I did not. I only asked a question and left it to you to decide for yourself. It doesn't matter to me so you do not need to clarify that with me.
Yes platonic affection is not sexual, i agree. But a hand shake or a hug is platonic would you call it platonic affection?, if so then again it's has nothing to do with a bromance and it wasn't what your op suggested to me.
If you don't like what I've said here, that's fine. You won't like what i say next either. I have no interest in defending myself to you or convincing to you what i believe. I hope you get what you need from this thread, i see i have nothing to offer you. Be well.
@ReltvlyCanshes I appreciate you making an effort to understand my perspective. I truly wish you the best in life as well.
yeah this notion of Bromance IMO is just a veiled and suppressed same sex attraction under the guise of some kind of socially acceptable "bro crush no homo" type of mindset. It only confuses men who have no way of understanding the boundaries of such a connection. I think it somehow vilifies the notion of and the allowance of having a homosexual attraction and doesnt really explain how it differs from a "mateship' or "buddies" connection.
This conversation has been fascinating to follow and clearly touches on an important social need. It’s unfortunate that a term is necessary at all to describe male-to-male platonic affection, as it points to a broader discomfort in our culture. Perhaps what’s really needed is a new category, a fresh vocabulary that recognises and normalises expressions of affection between men, regardless of the intent behind those displays of care.
Historically, male friendship and physical affection have been woven into the fabric of many societies, without the stigma we see today. For instance, in many non-Western cultures, close male friendships are commonly marked by hand-holding, hugging, or even kissing on the cheek, without raising questions about sexuality or intent. In parts of the Middle East and South Asia, such gestures are simply an expression of mutual respect, affection, and companionship. These cultures preserve a level of intimacy that has become rare, if not controversial, in Western societies.
Even in recent Western history, the norms around male affection were notably different. Throughout the 19th century and even into the early 20th century, it was common for men in the West to write letters to each other expressing deep affection, to sit closely, or even to hold hands. These bonds, known as “romantic friendships,” were often celebrated without sexual connotations and were accepted as part of a broader emotional life. However, in the mid-20th century, with the rise of rigid gender norms and increasing stigmatisation around homosexuality, Western societies saw a decline in the acceptability of such friendships. As a result, the space for men to openly share affection became constrained, and public displays of closeness between men began to be viewed with suspicion.
This shift is more than a cultural curiosity; it has a profound effect on men’s psychological and emotional well-being. When displays of platonic affection are stigmatised, men are less likely to feel safe showing vulnerability with each other, which can lead to a sense of isolation and emotional suppression. Research has shown that this restriction on male bonding and vulnerability can have lasting impacts on mental health, contributing to higher rates of loneliness and even depression among men.
Today, the need to reclaim these forms of connection and trust is clear. By normalising male-to-male affection, society can foster spaces where men feel safe and supported, both emotionally and physically. This, in turn, can encourage healthier expressions of masculinity and help break down the stereotypes that discourage men from being open with one another. After all, male friendship shouldn’t be a contested or stigmatised space; it should be one where men are free to be their authentic selves.
@natelm21 well written!! I wasn't expecting to read an essay when I opened up CC today but I thoroughly enjoyed it 😊
@YabYumist thanks for sharing that. I was just thinking of those two whilst reading the post. Think they best embody how I understand bromance.