One reason some people don’t want to post a photo is because everyone on the forums will recognize them as a previously-banned member.
I suppose it’s not surprising but people are very concerned about being judged by others. It’s inevitable in business, family and social relationships. But maybe more are respected by owning who they are. It’s liberating.
@CharlieBear, what about the people that have a pic, that's an image vs self, photo
@Cuddlehouse17 - I'm sure that's different than refusing to send a photo when booking a session.
@Mike403 not sure I follow. But agree.
@Cuddlehouse17 - There are reasons why some people might not want a profile picture...but if you book a session and refuse to send a photo when asked, I can't think of any logical reason for that other than being a prior banned member and not wanting her to know.
@Mike403 agree.
I have deactivated an account. And don't recall having to send a photo years ago. But know things change.
I think providers that require it are best to be up front in the profile. Not just “a request”
@Mike403 reverse image technology online is now smart enough to identify faces regardless of background. People think making faces, changing hair color or wearing makeup will stop the connection. It doesn't.
Ever hear of PimEyes? https://www.npr.org/2023/10/11/1204822946/facial-recognition-search-engine-ai-pim-eyes-google
How many people here remember that forum photos (like the Halloween costume thread) uploaded are forever stored on Imgur? Each image on Imgur has a unique URL, which allows Google to directly access and identify the image. Photos uploaded to Imgur can appear in Google Image search results because Google's image crawler indexes publicly accessible images from the web, including those hosted on Imgur, making them potentially searchable through Google Images.
And Google also has a reverse image search.
@starrynitecuds - I tried it on myself and the only photo I got back was a meme that somebody created with my face on it that went viral. I made a comment on Facebook a long time ago that said I was kicked out of a Barnes and Noble for moving all the bibles into the fiction section and somebody turned it into a meme.
@Mike403 It's been a long time ago, but I've seen that meme! I laughed!
@Mike403 Classic! And small world. Or, small Internet.
I've been on and off this site for years. 5 years ago I was an identity theft victim. The investigators told me that a photo is often used to accomplish that. I was no different. I have probably cuddled over 100 times in the last 10 years and I was only asked for a photo once. When I explained my reason for not sending it, and offered to have a phone conversation, that was all that was needed. If I see in the profile it is manditory I pass/block. The same goes for "If you don't have Karma I won't see you." I respect those that demand it but they should clearly state it upfront out of courtesy. If anyone went through what I went through they would understand never to send to send a pic over the net (The issue is not the person you are sending to, by the way, it can be stolen quite easily by third parties, although there are many scammers here looking for pics and phone numbers) Other businesses do not ask for a photo before doing business. This is not a dating site.
@luv2holdyou - Employees of other businesses do not invite you into their private home and bed where they are the most vulnerable.
@Mike403 spiffy. Not everyone has just 1 photo hit. I know people who don't have social media, yet photos of them are easily found. Searched pics also can lead to first and last names, which are easily reverse searched for home address, employer, news articles, social media, even family. Meta encourages "challenges" for posting "then and now" photos for high school/now; first date with SO/now; parents with kids/now. They do nothing, but have millions of images uploaded to supply their own photo recognition programs. Brilliant, but borders on unethical (as not all parties have consented.).
So decon in your church or pastor? Really no one is saving pictures or sending them to anyone
In the pro fourms we talk about why it’s imperative to be insistent on requiring a photo, specifically on site so the admins can see it (they read your messages in case you didn’t know!) It’s a huge safety risk and any hesitation is very often a red flag. Sure go ahead and protest, you don’t want your wife to know you’re seeking out cuddling to have it misinterpreted. Sure, you’re a super serious business man and you don’t want to lose your job. Okay valid.
What about us?
What about when we regularly get stalked and harassed by the same banned users? Are we not allowed to verify it’s not Loser2298 bugging us again?
What if we need to make sure you’re not someone who has been shared on the forms for scary behavior?
What if we trust you enough to meet up without a photo, have no idea what you look like, and some random man approaches us in public and we think it’s you? What if we get kidnapped?
Think about it from the other person’s perspective. You’re borrowing their safety to ensure your own. You’re sitting over there, totally protected safe af, thinking you’ve thought of everything (ASIDE FROM HER SAFETY) and we’re completely vulnerable to getting hurt by a stranger who we couldn’t even identify on a report because we don’t have a photo or any information.
@CarrieCo 💯 but a lot of people aren’t able to understand another’s perspective. They’re so wrapped up in their own needs that they can’t. And thank you also for pointing out the discussions in the Pro Forum about dangerous members. Absolutely require a photo, men/clients should also! We each need a record of who we’re meeting!
@g_w_t_w I’m always happy to force others to consider opening their perspectives up a little further than their peripherals!
As we both know, it’s dangerous to exist in this world as a woman, the absolute bare minimum is giving us the peace of mind we ask for in order to feel safe.
I’m not a good match for anyone who is too paranoid to send a single photo, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
@WakeCoNative I understand your situation and I had similar professional concerns about posting and sharing pictures in the past.
Offer a video call in lieu of a picture. If that is not acceptable to them, move on.
There are more than 50 women who cuddle men (enthusiasts and pros), who have been active on the site within 30 days, and are located within 50 miles of Apex NC.
I have no doubt you can find someone to cuddle who would be comfortable with a video call in lieu of a photo.
Could someone screenshot him during a video call?
@WriterGF sure they could, and they could also take a picture during the cuddle session. If someone is that concerned about having their picture taken, maybe they should also wear a paper bag over their head during their cuddle….
For that matter, OP's profile says he is willing to be a guest - who's to say he's not going to get captured on a Ring camera? No, if anonymity is the priority, this is just not the place to be.
Exactly true @WriterGF Anyone who came to my home to cuddle was captured by video cameras in the halls of my building. Footage available to be reviewed by management if needed. I always pointed out the cameras (as a deterrent for bad behavior but I never said that) and not once did anyone have a problem with it.
The OP has a reasonable situation he'd like to people to consider. Sure you can poke holes in anyone's theory all you want but there concerns are there concerns. Yes you can get around all methods and all things can be captured but you can limit your exposure. Possibilities have been suggested ( video call) and reason why people wouldn't want to meet have been offered (safety) if everyone lives within their parameters everyone will be fine. Don't let it bother you that you will not meet with someone for whatever reason. I'm sure someone will meet reasonable requests if asked.
By the way, the site shared earlier worked. I used it to identify someone who has been very elaborate in concealing identity and i only had a hunch. Recent pics led me to pics from 10 years ago that lead me to a school to a name. I was honestly surprised but i couldn't sleep. I guess they were hiding for safety reasons and i have no reason to care i just wanted to check to see if that site worked better than the others and it does. I'm not on there yay!
If you are not willing to send a photo of yourself I would suggest deleting your account and leaving.
@WriterGF in my case, I wasn’t concerned about someone taking my picture. I was concerned about professional colleagues judging me for my presence on a “cuddle” site, because some might consider that to be code for something nefarious and it would be a professional distraction to have to explain.
So, a screen shot of a video call, or a ring camera showing me knocking on a door didn’t concern me. I also didn’t try to be anonymous. I have always been pretty open about sharing identifying information with women I cuddle with. I was just concerned about having (what could be interpreted as “compromising”) photos of me on a website for people who meet other people and engage in what they may consider to be questionable activities.
If someone insists that they remain completely anonymous, I would agree with the majority of posts on this thread. If my daughter was a pro cuddler, I wouldn’t recommend meeting that person for safety reasons.
@WakeCoNative i was recently in the area and i met a lady that wasn't really into sharing photos for various reasons. In the piedmont airport are, lovely lady maybe you'd match.
Assuming people have marked their profiles as private - not public- not visible in a public online search, wouldn’t the colleagues also have to be a members here to see your profile? I do see your point but it’s just too much paranoia for me. But each person has a right to their own level of comfort. And there are some here, maybe quite a few, who don’t need to see a photo first.
@g_w_t_w I agree that concerns about internet privacy can sometimes devolve into paranoia. But as someone once told me, “even paranoids have enemies”.
You are correct that apparently there are quite a few pro cuddlers who don’t seem to care about seeing photos. I am always amazed when I meet someone for a cuddle only to find out they never even looked at my profile before scheduling.