This is a rant about keeping your word

[Deleted User]buttercup6993 (deleted user)
edited November 2024 in General

Regardless of gender, on a site like this, you must keep your word. When I was in Phoenix, cuddlers had offered to pay my gas because my drive was legit far. Most people did and I appreciated that. I want to make it clear this was only for gas money (as in we took my car to the gas station and filled it, or they would reimburse me for the gas since I was driving so far). The money itself was appreciated, but it wasn't as important as keeping your word. The people who would say they would cover the travel cost but then end up not paying had completely destroyed the trust I had in them. Also, many people I met would swear all they wanted was platonic cuddles only for me to arrive and find them pushing boundaries and wanting sex. Don't do this either. Again it destroys trust. There are apps for sex and hook ups. I like this community and the touch with no sex attached. But people please keep your word!! I will start reporting these behaviors as they are not acceptable. I needed time to process and decide on the best approach. I don't want people to get banned or in trouble but if you can't keep your word then don't offer it. Say no. Or just don't even offer. If you need sex go to a different venue or app. Thank you. That is all.

I edited this post as well. Thank you charliebear. Last clarification no one was riding on the car with me. If they brought me to gas station they drove their own car and I drive mine. Again super thanks for the responses. I will read them all. I do not want to argue and I do plan to read all the rules tonight to make sure I am not violating them. Thanks all.

I corrected a few spelling errors since there were some parts that were a bit hard to read [CharlieBear]

Comments

  • Janelle19Janelle19

    Ok I get the gist...leaves very bad karma review

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Report anyone who violates site rules by pushing boundaries. Otherwise, they will just do it to someone else.

  • pmvinespmvines

    If you have somebody pushing boundaries are trying to get sexual then definitely please report them .
    Re giving you money for gas or Uber, nobody is really obligated to do that .

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited November 2024

    None of this sounds safe. A stranger riding in your car? I hope you’re really doing a good amount of screening.
    It’s not too late to go back and report these people.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    There is a lot in this OP that should be addressed. I'm concerned you don't know the rules of the site. But report this right away, don't consider report for your and everyone's safety.

    The way you are stating things looks like you've been violating the TOS. I may be interpreting this all wrong, if i am i apologize, but what im getting is that they are paying you gas money to come cuddle, as normal practice with more than one cuddler while in phoenix. Now, I'm guessing you are in Texas and someone didn't want to pay for gas and he also expected something more, I am assuming this is why he's not paying for gas because he expected something more than he received.

    Know I'm not the only one that's reading that, and I'm not sure why it hadn't been spoken to yet. But the fact that it was plainly stated in the OP makes me feel she is putting herself in a bad situation and in a bad condition(more assuming) and looking for support in the forums. But I'd expect more people to mention this before she gets banned.

  • TheGypsyCuddlerTheGypsyCuddler

    @pmvines I don’t think she’s saying they’re obligated too, simply if someone says something- regardless if it’s this or that, that it’s important they keep their word.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited November 2024

    I PM’d OP right after she wrote this, offering help because I found this post to be really almost alarming- something feels off to me. (more than usual with this type of post). Anyway she hasn’t answered…

  • JubalJubal

    Absolutely. On this site in particular, there is very little obligation for anyone to do anything. But once you've made a promise, then you follow through, or at the very least, owe an explanation as to why you can't.

    @pmvines I don’t think she’s saying they’re obligated too, simply if someone says something- regardless if it’s this or that, that it’s important they keep their word.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Whelp perhaps I misread it then

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    @g_w_t_w and @ReltvlyCanshes
    I'm with you, something feels very off about this post. Threatening to report TOS violations on a forum? Instead of complaining or lecturing, OP should make like Nike and JUST DO IT!

    I would love to hear from a @mod about the permissibility of enthusiasts here requesting, offering or receiving reimbursement for travel or gas money? That seems like a faux pro and if it's not allowed, should be a ban-worthy offense (and not a "Become a Pro" invite.)

  • [Deleted User]buttercup6993 (deleted user)

    I will edit the post later today. Thanks for all the feedback and responses. Let me clarify 2 things. 1. I live in phoenix area and in austin area. 2. I am back n forth the two places due to work and family. 3. Recently me and someone clicked. But I did not have the gas money to drive the 3 hours to Dallas. They offered to pay my gas and to feed me. Food is a concern cause I am diabetic. Any way then I had to drive home. 3 hours. It cost me 75 to do that for someone who is not my friend or family or a boyfriend. Also they gave their word. This is the point that upset me the most. They gave their word and did not keep it. No other behavior was inappropriate. When you break your word you break trust. This is the point. If accepting food and gas is against the rules I will read the rules all over again. Two adults should be able to exchange thay though. Anyway I will read the rules again and I will edit the post for spelling and grammar issues today. I am sad that the point I was making got lost. My point is keep your word regardless of your gender.

  • friendlyj311friendlyj311

    I totally get it. Had that happen to me recently where I drove over an hr for a 2 hr session and clearly agreed that he would get a room to host. I get there and he expects me to pay for it, so then he takes it out of the money he was going to use for the session, which then would shorten the session time. Then on top of that either he shorted me for the session from the get go or took some of it back out of my purse when I went to the restroom. (Although I think it's the latter of the 2 because I quickly counted it when he gave it to me) Then I recounted it after he abruptly left after I came out the restroom and realized it was 30 short so I was really frustrated at this point. I messaged him asking if he could send it to me but I have yet to hear from him. It happens.... lesson learned, but I will never accept a proposal from him again.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited November 2024

    @starrynitecuds
    Hmm when it comes to covering travel and hotel accommodations, I don’t think these are against rules. Charging money for cuddles between enthusiasts is certainly against the rules, but if one person needs to travel to the other and the host is willing to help pay for gas or a rideshare, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Same for splitting the cost of a hotel room for day use or something. There should just be no transfer of money for the actual cuddling part (or a tip) and if an enthusiast is requiring money to travel, there may be an issue there (especially if they are asking for more than the actual cost as if it was a cuddle fee in disguise).

    Update: What I said above is true. As long as it is. 50/50 thing and no money is being made from cuddling. Also to add the same would go with food/entertainment/etc since this is not a dating site. It’s kind of a grey area since it’s just enthusiasts but the main thing is if someone encounters another enthusiast that is expecting money or things to be paid for as if they are making money from the arrangement or they expect gifts (like in a sugar arrangement) then please report it.

    I know if someone was driving out to me, i’d help cover the cost to get them here. But no one should be paying any amount of money simply to cuddle a fellow enthusiast.

  • SeekerInVASeekerInVA

    Huh? 🤔

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    Something I find terrifying (in addition to unwanted touch) is who knows if these boundary-pushers have STD’s or something. Just going in and kissing and in some cases escalating to an even more disgusting level after they have exposed themselves…to not care at all about their victim having to get tested and potentially now having some disease they could give their partner and all the trauma that comes with that ordeal. It’s so incredibly sad to see these reports. PLEASE report anyone that tries this.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    Yeah, the lack of respect and care for one's self is bad but the exposure being spread to others is horrible. People are careless with themselves and it shows how vigilant you have to be with yourself. That's what troubles me the most, exposure to people who are careless because in these intimate situations everyone is exposed.

Sign In or Register to comment.