Is affection a core emotion ingredient of cuddling?

[Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)
edited June 2018 in General

In your opinion do you agree that without the emotion of affection any cuddle will be incomplete? What else besides affection you think is a core ingredient for a filling platonic cuddling? Take the poll and share your thoughts!

  1. Is affection a core ingredient of cuddling and any cuddle session is incomplete without it?50 votes
    1. Yes
    2. No
    3. Maybe


  • edited June 2018

    I would say that affection is core as that is essentially what cuddling is. However what is not core is emotion. You can have affection without emotion. And not everyone who cuddles or gives affection is going to experience emotion behind it, or at least not the same kind. And this is because there are varying differences between cuddling as friends, cuddling as lovers, and cuddling as a client. Certainly the affection part is present, but the emotion part is dependent on context.

  • My favorite kind of cuddling is with those I am friends with. So I would say that affection is extremely important.

    Try cuddling with someone you dislike, or who even annoys you. Wouldn’t be beneficial cuddling in my opinion on either side. But I am not a pro, and they might have some of these experiences.

  • @amhunt I cant really imagine myself being in a situation where I am cuddling someone I dislike lol. I know if you are a paid cuddler you would be in that scenario at least a couple of times I would imagine. But I suppose a good skill would have to be not letting the other person know you dislike them. Fake it til you make it I suppose.

  • The only reason I know that feeling is because I cuddled someone recently who in person straight up annoyed me and whenever I asked him not to do something, he did it anyway. So yea. I did the fake it til you make it thing.

  • @amhunt I had a friend who confessed to me that about maybe 10 percent of the time she would have a client who she felt so awkward and uncomfortable even being around. But she pushed through it anyway, and apparently did such a good job at faking it that one client got mixed signals and thought she had a thing for him lol. Didn't quite go the way either of them wanted.

  • edited June 2018

    I've never cuddled anyone I disliked. It wouldn't be possible for me to give the kind of affection I give to someone I don't like. If I dislike someone, I don't accept him as a client. My affection is genuine.

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    I have approached each of my session with all my pros that have seen thus far with the strong vibe of affection emotion. I might be mixing two things but that’s how I have found the sessions to be filling. I am not sure if I ever faked it :) but I think one of the two have to pass the strong positive vibe and that usually helps the so called “breaking the Cuddle ice” .. Luckily for me, I felt a positive vibe back from everyone I met thus far! I believe that’s what keeping me going n growing with cuddling :) @pmvines, I truly hope I better didn’t come across fake it one you mentioned :) .. just kidding.. but I truly hope that even pro cuddlers follow the approach that @BlueIris mentioned so there is no reason to fake it :) but I understand exception situations could always come!

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    @amhunt , so true, well said cuddling can never be beneficial without this core ingredient!

  • [Deleted User]Cuddly4Ladies (deleted user)

    Intriguing post. Being so new to this world after a very intimate long term relationship ending abruptly. I am curious to understand how two strangers can build affection or emotion in no time?? I still need to experience one, as I connect with a pro on this site.

  • I think of safety. Not necessarily like safe shelter from violence or storms, but knowing that the cuddle is safe space. What is said there, tears shed, whatever, is not shared, not used to ridicule or in any other way. Of course this safety has to run both ways. I’m pretty sure that genuine affection would probably lead to, or include this kind I’d safe space, but maybe you could achieve the safety without much affection. What do you think?

  • To me it's more about affection as a form of nurturing. I see cuddling as a form of psycho-social-physical nurturing. In that way there is a nurturing affection. I find that easy to generate towards anyone typically, as all persons deserve to be nurtured and cared for, and few people get as much of that as they need. So long as I feel safe with that person, nurturing affection comes naturally, and it's that feeling that I look for in a good cuddle.

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    Is affection required? I hope not.
    I am hoping affection happens, for me, as I ... absorb and/or accept that I am:
    worthy of sharing that intimate space with another person,
    and human warmth.
    I hope that whoever I cuddle with will also receive affection as I respond to the experience.

  • @Cuddly4Ladies - I'm an affectionate person by nature, so if I exchange a few pleasant messages with someone, I can begin to like that person. Then, meeting him in person, I already like him from his messages, and being affectionate by nature, it's easy to want to hug him. We've already agreed to hug and hold each other by virtue of this website, so the rest is easy because we know that's all there is.

  • I would hope folks get affectionate cuddles with one another but it's hardly the case. I've cuddled with somebody not so affectionate but at least willing to let me cuddle with her.. this was a friend who just wasn't an affectionate person at all but she wanted to be supportive one time in a time of need. not from this site, but sometimes folks do cuddle with little to no affection. if anything the affection would be more of an act than an emotion.

    however, i sure hope those who want affection get that from their cuddling here. i think as a pro, it really makes you a good cuddler if you can provide affection to those who crave it. of course, all within the code of conduct.

  • [Deleted User]snughugs (deleted user)
    edited June 2018

    I don't think I could cuddle without affection - I don't get nearly as much out of any kind of support when it's devoid of emotion or connection.

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    @snughugs , very true

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    I wonder if it would be fair to say - if one is a good human by nature, defects they will be an affectionate cuddler towards other good human? Or I am generalizing it too much now?

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)
  • @galowglass That's a pretty cool dog suit. :)

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)
    edited June 2018

    That's a real dog! Or are you talking about the furry one? No, wait... that didn't sound right... grin.
    Anyway, I'm a big-dog kind of person and I love this image.

  • [Deleted User]czw321 (deleted user)

    I mean to a certain extent or you just spent 50 awkward minutes and 80 bones on a professional who wasn't very professional

  • Affection is a huge part of the experience for me. I hope that every client I meet feels genuinely liked and cared for after a session with me. I too agree with the psycho-social-nurturing aspect of it. I insist on some correspondence prior to a session and if I don't feel like I can be genuinely affectionate I won't book them. I have given clients a chance twice and then realized that I could not be genuine with them because they got on my nerves too bad that I didn't see them again. It definitely grows over time. The longer you see someone the more you care about their happiness and mental well being. I studied social work and find this line of work so satisfying. I love to hear from clients how happy I make them. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside!

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    @galowglass , no doubt.. I read somewhere - Dogs are Human! :o

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    @Suzanne , very very well said! I ask myself, why am I still deprived of your affection, I gotta see you sooner! :)

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    Is that kind of tandem cuddle that would be so soothing n filling or what ?

  • [Deleted User]Cuddly4Ladies (deleted user)

    @BlueIris - Not sure if it would be that simple for me. I see others saying similar stuff. I do not even get response back yet from pro cuddlers whoever I reached out.

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    Is that like a "hot stone" upgrade at the spa? Cuddling with an add-on for "puppy comforter". That could be a real thing. grin

    ... Wow, That could actually be a very profitable add-on.
    "We have trained puppy cuddler assistants."

  • Yes, affection is a core ingredient to cuddling.

    And a precursor to affection is the mutual respect, empathy, and love that is felt in the conversation that usually occurs between the cuddling parties before, during and after the cuddling "session".

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    @calineur , so true!

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