"Third Place"-- This site serves this very purpose...in a way...online! :)

[Deleted User]Homesteader (deleted user)
edited November 2024 in General

I'm probably late to this concept, by this name, but it's funny how the deepest human needs stay with us.. A "third place" is a place that isn't home or work--- where people of different backgrounds congregate for conversation, socialization, debate, interaction, or just plain being around other human beings. I remember a certain old bookstore, bowling leagues, whiz nights, dart tournaments at the local watering hole... It's sort of like having an informal decompression chamber where you can just "be"--without having to perform your usual roles.

What are your thoughts on the importance of such "third places"? Does this site serve as an online version of that for you? It often does for me. Where else can I eavesdrop on conversations, back into the hedges like Homer Simpson, laugh at funny memes, or learn new things without having to pull information out of people like I'm extracting teeth?? lol

Any thoughts? Do you have a "third place"? What do you gain from going there? :) Or, from coming here for that reason?

Comments

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @Homesteader
    Yes, for me CC is a “third place” as you describe it. I didn’t have a name for the idea but now I do.
    First Place - Home/family
    Second Place - Real life activities & interactions outside of home and family

  • [Deleted User]Homesteader (deleted user)

    Hey, @g_w_t_w ! That's a really cool take on seeing this site as a "third place" that I hadn't even thought of! Instead of looking at it like Home being 1st place, with Work being 2nd, your way of explaining gives it a whole new spin!!

    I think I like it... Thank you for the new perspective! Sort of like a third state of matter, almost. On here, one of the cool things is that it usually doesn't matter whether we're old/young, short/tall, polka-dotted or striped, etc.; it's just a fun place to bounce ideas around! I like that about this place...

    Thanks for the insight! :)

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull
    edited November 2024

    @Homesteader I’ve never heard the phrase you’re using, I think it fits. As a kid and early teen the local Rec center was that for me, as was the local pool, and the pizza place. In college it was the quad or the study lounge.

    As an adult I lost that option because I was not a drinker. For most of the people I knew it was the local bar or pub.

    I like your idea; it resonates and I’ll use this site that way. but it also pulls into stark contrast what this offers, and what it doesn’t. This interaction is nice, and offers much, but you’ve help clarify my thinking on what it doesn’t. Thanks for that!

    Mostly because it lacks the full real world context of eye contact, body language, and tactile interaction. I think the excitement and anticipation in the meet and greet thread bears this out. Many people are eagerly looking to augment their interaction.

    Sounds like I need to keep looking for a “fourth place” too.

  • [Deleted User]Homesteader (deleted user)

    @lovingspoonfull ~ I hadn't ever heard of it, either... I sort of stumbled upon it--but it captured something for me...obviously for you, too, because you immediately picked up the exact types of places mentioned! We were a lot freer, a lot safer, then, and could go about our young shenanigans with only minor bumps and bruises to our little egos! lol
    Sadly, you're pretty much right about how most adults use "Cheers" as their (our) primary "third place." For a non-drinker, I'd imagine that would be an utter waste of time.. Unless you are willing to have me talk smack to you about playing pool!! lol Don't worry, I'm LOUSY at it, and you'd almost certainly win if we were to play!! lolol I'm just really good at talking trash... :)

    Yours is a valid point, though, concerning the way that this site both does and does not serve as an online "third place," because it really WOULD be nice, sometimes, to meet a few of you folks from here in real life!! But even with that, I still see value in looking at it the way @g_w_t_w explained it!

    Wishing you well on finding your "fourth place"! :)

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    @homesteader I’m high school I once went with a friend to a local pool hall in little China. I was the only white guy, my friend had to vouch for me to get in, at least jokingly.

    We played pool, but being poor and too proud we played for push-ups. That night I got challenged a lot and stopped playing pool after losing and owing 120 push-ups. Not all at once! Had a great time and we laughed about it but the next day my arms and chest wanted to lock up. 😎

    I’m a lot better at pool now, out of self preservation! But sadly no shark here.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Starbucks embraced the concept of being that "third place" for people.

    For me, a website cannot be a third place because it's online. I need tangible, in-person contact to feel fulfilled.

    So, I'd have to say Barnes & Noble is my third place--and the bigger the store the better (especially if it has a Starbucks!). We have a great B&N in NW Austin.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited November 2024

    For a personal example of this concept, my “second place “ is pretty huge I guess & maybe should be broken down into categories. It covers everything in real life outside of home & family. Including socializing, travel, selling at art fairs, commission paintings, pet sitting, shopping, galleries, reading and so much more to fill my time. Even actual cuddling!
    Also includes a lot of responsibilities that aren’t always fun.
    Third Place I’m defining, in this context, as only my online activity, interaction mostly with people I’ve not met in person. Example is this CC forum as a great way to interact with strangers (who can become online friends) during downtime and understand different POVs, understand another’s perspective and gain some empathy and humility.
    We are all complex & multi dimensional beings.
    My interpretation is that this thread is calling our online forum here as Third Place, coming after Home & Work. Very generalized categories and i totally get it.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    If a "third place" is a place you are relaxed and happy, I have that (a used bookstore I like to go to). I don't use it for human interaction, that's not really something I seek out.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Awwww @Homesteader I love this concept! 💚

    I can relate to being a part of something different besides home/family/work because those come with certain expectations and it’s not always easy to try on something new.

    I love this picture…

    It's sort of like having an informal decompression chamber where you can just "be"--without having to perform your usual roles.

    The fun thing about CC is we get to connect over words and thoughts but also have the hope of REAL LIFE connections!

    It’s also a great place to experience different perspectives. Not that it’s SIMPLE to co-exist or co-create but it can certainly be beneficial for our own personal growth.

    What a fun thread! Thank you @Homesteader 😊

  • DarlingNikkiiDarlingNikkii

    For those of you who haven’t heard of this concept, it’s recently come up with gen Z and the pandemic. A lot of them had no place to go other than stay at home, school was removed, and any other place to socialize. They are often seeking thus third space we all had, or at least up until millennials.

  • JubalJubal

    I agree with some of the comments above that I'd have to call a website like this a "fourth place" because it just lacks the in-person interaction that I would need from a "third place". My city has a community center with an indoor pool, weightlifting facility, indoor basketball courts, and more. It's become a solid "third place" for me, as I go there 2-4 times per week to work out, and more often find myself interacting with the same folks on a regular basis.

    It's sort of like having an informal decompression chamber where you can just "be"

    Unfortunately on most social media sites, I can't do this, as I always have to think at least twice before typing something to post (i.e. "is this going to offend someone?" "is this going to be interpreted as hateful by someone?" etc).

  • Midnight01Midnight01

    I don’t think a social media platform is a good place for a “third place”. Cuddle comfort is social platform that provides a service. People need to a physical third place where they can stimulate all their senses and experience things.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    I've belong to a number of online communities.. Places where I could connect with like-minded people of whatever type. Where you can meet new, interesting people that you wouldn't have encountered otherwise. I've met people in person through them. I've learned things, made friends, met girlfriends, and have just enjoyed having communities. There's one for my school, and one of the beautiful things there is watching a '69, a '96, and a '17 talking about a common interest.

    I'm very grateful for all the various online communities and what I've gotten from them.

  • [Deleted User]Homesteader (deleted user)

    Hi @sillysassy!! :) Thank you!! I posted this because when I heard the phrase, and got more of an understanding of the concept, I realized that this was a big part of the draw this site holds for me :)

    It's understandable that an online site could NEVER replace real-life meeting places, but the idea of how important it could be to have SOME SORT of a "third place" really struck me.... And I realized that this site serves that purpose, in a way, for me.

    I'm fortunate enough to have a rather large extended family, so I've ALWAYS got options for going and happily crashing someone's party, but sometimes it's fun to interact with people who can offer new perspectives on things, or who can share knowledge that you may not have had. My primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation, so that's probably why sharing words here works for me as a "third place."

    Thanks folks for the thought-provoking responses! :) It was just something that I wondered about...

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