@pmvines I have to assume these folks have never been on a dating site ... or looked for a job ... because not hearing anything back is standard operating procedure online.
Your profile looks good. The name, though, would probably make me keep scrolling. Make sure to change that as soon as the year is up. Good luck!
Reading the word “affectionate” makes me personally cringe.
@Dee1 I contacted a moderator and it should be changed soon! ^^
@simsaddict maybe that's a me problem because of my language barrier, but could you explain why?
I see the word affectionate in plenty of girls profiles and see nothing wrong with a guy having it in his profile.
@IronLemon said "@FitSmartCuddler I'm sure that for you it was accurate. Don't you worry about it. You just keep up that look."
I'm not concerned with having any particular "look", I just try to be honest and realistic. My experience here has been that many women are extremely sensitive to anything they perceive as even hinting at something sexual. I don't blame anyone for being appropriately self-protective but sometimes it seems over the top. I've been told that because I have "Fit" in my username, it means I'm overly focused on the physical and therefore am most certainly looking to get laid.
If your experience has been better, I salute you.
@Williwarm 1. Just like job sites and dating apps, this site has many scammers (faux pros, sugar baby wannabes, sex workers, etc.) They aren't going to respond to most messages unless they lead with money. 2. You say the profiles are active, are they new? Have they been used within the past week? Are these robust profiles you are contacting or bare bones? Bare bones don't count. 3. A unique message should be sent to enthusiasts, tailored to their profile. Not sure what your message is, but repeating what's in your profile is low effort and blah. Talking about your great qualities seems phony, very few people will admit they aren't nice. (As a female enthusiast, I tend to roll my eyes at "I'm a nice guy" and chest thumping. Why? That's an opinion, you don't get to decide that for others, they do, based on your actions.)
@starrynitecuds Thanks for your message! ^^
1-Fair enough! Do you think that's a big percentage of the users? 2-I'm filtering profile that have been active in the last month and from what I remember, those that I'm contacting seem 'real', but we never know. I'll think about it. 3-I'm always trying to write something not too long, not too short, concise, polite/respectful, that doesn't say what's already on my profile, humble, not pushy, open. But I'm sure I need to rework that. I'll think about it too.
Thank you for your advices!
@Williwarm 1. Yes, I do. With no pics or About Me, that's usually a zero profile. (On my side, when a blank profile contacts me, it's rarely with platonic intentions.)
@Ihavenoidea2 Women worry a lot more on here about about boundaries being pushed than men seem to, so they will see things as red flags that a man reading a profile might not.
It is the professional duty of representatives to guide and help customers through this very sensitive expensive process, respecting all involved.
Respect is a two way street. All respect to the brave beautiul women who represent CC..
@Dance_Culture have you ever been disrespected by a provider? Can you explain your post
@Williwarm In my opinion your profile is fine. Whatever changes you made to it worked well. The only suggestion I would have, is when you message someone, to possibly include a note saying English is not your first language, in hopes the person reading it gives you the benefit of the doubt if something sounds off to them. Otherwise, it’s all about connection, and often timing. Just be yourself!
Oh, also participating in the forums gives credibility to who you say you are. Truly wish you the best!
@Ineedahugortwo some great practical advice. Especially the language thing. Unfortunately, it is dominated by the "cool kids" on CC, not to mention how many times I've been misrepresented by the "usual suspects," but your point is well taken.
@jimmylee English is not my guest language either. And I’m grateful people have been nothing but nice and respectful when chatting on private messages. But I can see how it is different for men and women. Especially given the amount of messages enthusiast women receive when they first join the site, being new and not knowing what to expect seems confusing, and can be very overwhelming, and often almost anything is perceived like a red flag. .. lol (Talking from personal experience)
Once you become familiar with the site, the community and the lingo, the perspective seems very different. At least from my experience.
@Ineedahugortwo I totally agree. I've been on CC for about 7 years. Those first several months were daunting, and the English language wasn't even a stumbling block. 😂
@jimmylee Is it just me, or does it feel like there's a 'popular crowd' on this platform that ignores everyone else?
@Mike102 see my "cool kids" reference above. ☝️ So, yes. I don't think it's intentional, mean, or vindictive, it's just that we of the CC "chess club" aren't typically affirmed. There was a previous thread that was set up that each poster said something encouraging about the last poster. I posted something about the previous person. The next two totally ignored me and gushed over each other. 🤣 That's ok by me. I get my affirmation from CC from my cuddle buddies. The forums, for me, are entertainment.
@Mike102 I should probably shorten that/nothing personal to me..me imagining most of it
@jimmylee Folks come and go, cool thing is real unfortunately
@Mike102 Not everything needs a call and response. More often than not people post and don't see if others respond to it or tag them. If you feel like you are ignored if you tag someone it's likely not because it's you, but rather just don't see it or don't feel a need to respond. It's nothing to do with a popularity contest
@Ineedahugortwo great tip! I'm mostly messaging people in French in my area but I'll keep that in mind, because I'm under the impression that my level in English is like a kid. 😂 Thanks a lot! ^^
I agree with Nikki, if I was closer I would enjoy a nice cuddle with you! I'm hoping you find some good cuddles soon. I took a little French in High school and I've been up to Alberta but I wasn't very good at it. So I can not converse. Lol but I enjoyed your profile!
Thank you @Morrigan84 ! I'm grateful for all the comments and tips here. ^^ Prend soin de toi!
Yeah, so when I read the word “affectionate” on anyone’s profile, it tells me I can expect to likely have my boundaries crossed. Affectionate cuddles is not platonic cuddles, in my book.
@Sims1781 With all due respect, we must be reading from different books. I have four children and four grandchildren. The all treat me with affection and give me affectionate embraces, none of which would be considered inappropriate. My best male friends also show me affection through hugs when we first meet and when we part. All platonic. That's been my experience.
I think affection is great
@Williwarm: Your written English is quite good. I can see where you might miss some of the nuance and slang given it is not your first language. Good luck.
@jimmylee I totally get what you’re saying but the word “affectionate “ has very different meanings & implications for this site especially. @simsaddict and I might react the same as you for messages from potential cuddlers here. Depending on the context….And what it means to an older man or a young woman here can be entirely different experiences. In one scenario, we’re thinking of interactions with family, but to a woman who is choosing a platonic cuddler it’s a red flag. Usually means something romantic. I have adult kids and a grandchild so I know exactly what you mean @jimmylee But I’ve also experienced men here looking for a romantic connection and “affection leading to something sexual “ here also. Very different and it’s necessary to clarify expectations & boundaries before a session. As it’s been said a jillion times here, so many men come here looking for sex, maybe almost the majority. Not everyone is a safe honest, well-intentioned person. ETA that’s why it’s so important to choose your words carefully, to think about how they will be interpreted, and even think about your username and other meanings (slang) they might have. Basically think of how a woman will read what you write if you’re a man and vice versa.
@g_w_t_w agreed. Best to stay away from terms that might send a wrong, unintentional message. In other news ... I've had women on here who are looking for the very things you mentioned some of the men are looking for (relationship, something non play, etc), so it's not just the men (this is not to imply you were singling out the men).
@HarleyGirlKate Thank you very much!
@simsaddict & @g_w_t_w maybe that word has different meaning depending of the context and with who, but I suspect that it is also different in French versus English. For me, affection is just related to tenderness and in my language I never saw any example of that word used in any sexual contexts or to initiate it. I could even not know at all how I could use that word in a different context than just platonic. But thanks for your comment, I just removed that word from my profile for avoiding confusion. ^^
The more I learn languages, the more I see that there are so much subtleties depending of the people, the context, the region, the culture and the social background.