How should I respond?

I_Am_Not_A_CatI_Am_Not_A_Cat
edited December 2024 in General

I've had professional cuddlers message me before asking about a session when I wasn't looking for a professional. I usually respond saying I'm not looking for that at this time.

Occasionally I've had pros see my karma and then message me because they wanted a safe cuddle. So when I've gotten messages from professionals that didn't indicate what they were looking for, I've usually responded by saying I'm not interested in a pro session but (if I am interested) I say if they're just looking to cuddle then we can discuss that. For example, this is what I said today to someone today:

"Thank you! I would be interested in meeting up, but I'm really not looking for a paid session. I've had a few professionals message me before that weren't looking for a paid session, and instead were just looking for someone safe and comforting to cuddle with. So if that's what you're looking for then absolutely!"

Do people find that response problematic? When they're looking for a pro session they usually either ignore the response or politely answer. But occasionally they seem upset, saying about how they know their worth, their company is worth money etc.

I'm not trying to complain about any one person, or to call them out. I'm just trying to make sure that the issue isn't what I'm saying. I've just always felt that if someone takes the time to message me then I feel like I should at least respond instead of just ignoring it. And again, these are people I didn't message, they messaged me first.

Comments

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I believe that it’s against the rules for a Pro to advertise and initiate contact if you haven’t viewed their profile first. But if you have viewed them, it’s ok for them to message you.
    Not sure if the advertising is reportable though?

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    As noted, if you have viewed a pro's profile, they are allowed to contact you. If you have not looked at their profile, and they are writing to solicit business, it is okay to politely point out that doing that is against site rules.

    Have you actually had pros write you looking for a free cuddle? My guess is most pros won't believe that and will think you are just trying to get a cuddle without paying. Clients who want to push boundaries will often use the "other pros have been willing to do it" argument.

    Nothing wrong with just telling them you are looking for an enthusiast and leaving it at that. I tell pros I cannot afford a pro right now and they are always very nice about it.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    Your response is perfect. It seems to me they are a bit problematic. They aren't following the rules, and maybe you should consider reporting them. But I've had that issue a few times, my response was similar and results the same. If your not looking to pay for a pro they should respect that, the same way you respected them enough not to reach out and ask for a unpaid cuddle.

  • I_Am_Not_A_CatI_Am_Not_A_Cat
    edited December 2024

    @WriterGF
    Yes I have had pros message me interested in a free cuddle. If you look at my karma I don't have a lot, but what I have is extremely positive, and the few times it's happened there's always a reference to my karma (which was the case today). I've been seeing one on and off for about a year, and the only reason I know is because I saw it when I gave her feedback. Neither one of us has ever brought the subject up. Another time was someone from Vermont, as my family has a house there. She loved cuddling but lived in a sparsely populated part of Vermont so she rarely got messaged by people. We met up a bunch of times as well.

    I did look at her profile as I hadn't logged on in a while and looked at a bunch I didn't recognize, both pro and enthusiast. I don't care that she messaged me, and I'm not complaining that she responded that way. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm not saying something off putting that could bite me in the future with someone else. And since for many pros it's helping them pay bills, putting that at risk over a simple message is unethical and wrong imo. There was nothing inappropriate in the message whatsoever. And I have hired pros in the past when I was touch starved, but that's not an issue right now. Beyond the person I mentioned above, I have a friend I've been cuddling multiple times a week for over a year. So there isn't a reason for me to hire anyone.

    In the past, when they messaged me first, I usually didn't say anything about paid sessions at all unless they brought it up. But I had someone who only mentioned a fee right before she left her house. We called it off then, but both of us realized we didn't do a good job in terms of communication. After that I always mention it.

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    @I_Am_Not_A_Cat I personally don’t think there was anything wrong in your response, but like something more like what @WriterGF said. It doesn’t have to be any more than you’re open to cuddles but are focusing on enthusiast, unpaid cuddles.

    Additionally, you could pre-empt some of those awkward conversations if you put a statement along those lines in your profile or on one of your pics. Then if they read it, and still reach out, you can then get to know each other and decide if cuddling makes sense.

    Many pros don’t read either though so it will still come up.

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