@Dance_Culture
Well said.
Kindness, patience, and humor.
I they change the only important thing: Our perceptions.
@Dance_Culture Very well said, I really like that sentiment
This is such an interesting and relevant topic because time wasters can significantly impact professional cuddlers and the industry as a whole. If you aren’t a pro or paying client this post does not apply to you. I like to think of myself as a bit of a “menace” to time wasters because I make it a point not to respond to them once I’ve identified their behavior. Some time wasters are incredibly manipulative, while others are more like mild annoyances.
Here’s an analogy: imagine you’re at a restaurant, and the server comes to take your order. Instead of ordering food, you say, “I’ll just have water.” You’re not really hungry but feel like hanging out, so you start asking the server questions about the menu. Every time they come back, you ask more questions but never place an order. Ten minutes turn into thirty, then an hour. If the restaurant is quiet, they might tolerate it. But if it’s a busy Michelin-starred restaurant, you’re likely to be asked to leave because you’re occupying a table that could go to a paying customer.
That’s the dynamic with time wasters: they take up valuable time and energy that could be better spent on genuine clients. Here are some practical tips for identifying and managing them: 1. Booking Far in Advance: **Some time wasters try to schedule appointments months ahead. When the date approaches, they’ll stall or reschedule indefinitely. A simple solution is to limit new client bookings to no more than one or two weeks in advance. This ensures your schedule stays focused on serious clients. 2. ********Deposits********: Many time-waster accounts have little to no karma or were created recently. To filter these out, request a small deposit to confirm a booking. This step alone can help separate genuine clients from those who aren’t serious. 3. **Vetting: Build connections with other cuddle pros and ask for their input if a client raises red flags. Persistent time wasters often hop from one professional to another, so a network of colleagues can help you identify repeat offenders. 4. ****Blocking****: If a client cancels and immediately tries to reschedule, trust your instincts. If it feels like stalling, don’t engage further. Blocking them may save you a lot of frustration down the line. 5. Limit Pre-Booking Conversations w new clients: Set boundaries for how long you’ll engage in intake before requiring a booking. Personally, I cap it at one day of messages. If a potential client can’t swithin that window, I move on.
Establishing clear boundaries and policies not only saves time but also creates a professional environment where serious clients feel respected and valued. It’s all about recognizing the patterns and staying firm in your approach.
I would make the point too that although some cuddle pros may find people who message them without booking time wasters, that when they are posting on the forums and interacting with site members it's natural that they may receive messages about their posts or from someone who feels they are interesting and may have something in common to chat about. And that's due to the social nature of the site and forums and not necessarily due to being a potential client. In fact I often get messages from pros as well as non pros striking up small talk. Many of whom I will likely never cross paths with. I would like to think most of these connections are genuine and not just being nice, which would be strange considering they contacted me first but who knows.
Yeah there are a handful of pros i interact with that i will probably never see. We don't talk with intentions of cuddling. Exactly what @pmvines said. If someone were local and we interacted I'd be trying to get some cuddle time, but that has never been the case. But if a pro is to "pro" for me has like a 3 chat max before booking, it's good we both know our boundaries and won't be waste each others time.
no one’s saying that pros and enthusiasts shouldn’t socialize. I think that as long as both parties are intentional and honest from the get go then there’s no harm, no foul. My gripe is w ppl that Lead others on for the sake of attention.if you don’t want to book just say that ahead of time.
Hurry up I need you to book or go away. Hmmmm..lets see..and I love the idea of my name being passed around between unseen individuals at a premium.
I was a server, One of my favorite customers only ordered coffee and popcorn, everyone made fun of him except me. He had a walker and was always stumbling around..I'm sure he would probably be labeled a time waster.
Looking back I may have even called him a friend.
All interactions are priceless. Don't let money make you forget who you are.
@Dance_Culture money cheapens everything. I really think money isn't worth much because we throw it away on such useless fleeting things. Spend money rather than work, ego waffles
What's wrong with Eggo waffles?
@Dance_Culture, ordering a coffee is not quite the same as walking into a restaurant, ordering a glass of water, and expecting premium service for the remainder of the evening, is it? Funny how you shifted the premise of my analogy to fit your argument while side stepping the point I was making. lol
It’s wonderful that you valued all interactions as a server, but the dynamic you describe is very different from someone expecting a service without valuing the time and energy involved. Your connection with that customer was built over time and based on mutual respect, not entitlement. In my line of work, where time and emotional labor are the product, clear boundaries are essential to provide the best experience for everyone. All interactions are priceless, but respecting others includes recognizing the value of their work.
Honoring your worth doesn’t mean forgetting who you are—it means staying true to your values while maintaining dignity and fairness.
One more thing to consider: many on this platform seem to harbor some thinly veiled contempt for pro’s, without recognizing their vital role in sustaining CC.**
Professional cuddlers, along with the moderators who generously volunteer their time and the enthusiasts who support them, are the reason this site exists in its current form. Here’s the thing: a lot of folks here seem, completely overlook how much pro cuddlers contribute to keeping this platform running.
Notice how cc isn’t covered in ads? The fees some professionals pay for memberships, as well as the sessions booked through the site, are a significant part of how Cuddle Comfort can afford servers, maintain the platform, and operate without relying heavily on major advertisers. 😌😌
Essentially, the work and income generated by pros—and the clients who support them—are what make this space accessible for EVERYONE, including and especially those of you who use it casually and don’t pay for cuddles.
And let’s not forget, many pros put themselves in vulnerable or even dangerous situations to provide this service, all while contributing to the community’s growth.
So, instead of dismissing our work, maybe take a moment to recognize and appreciate the role we play in keeping this space alive and thriving. Maybe instead of throwing shade, Let’s show some dang gratitude for the people who make this community possible. 💜🫂 💋
This is how I spot time wasters; 1) long winded messages about total nonsense . 2) no mention of availability, i.e when they would like to book a session. 3) messages about if they book would they receive "VIP" service. 4) messages about looking for a partner. 5) messages about needing funds immediately to get back to the UK. 6) requesting nude pictures.
This list definitely goes on!!! 🤦
On the subject of time wasters:
As a male enthusiast who has cuddled with many pros and a few enthusiasts, I have encountered many female enthusiasts who want a pen pal and have no intention of ever cuddling anyone. Since I am interested in cuddling, I consider communication with them to be a waste of my time. That doesn’t mean they are “low quality” people. We are just looking for different things.
@brownglucose i dont think anyone doubts the value pros have on CC, because how many women in the US are not pros? Percentage has got to be very low. But that doesn't discount the value of treating the customer like more than a customer. I mean you handle your customer service how you'd like, but if you see a potential customer or customers having issue with experience i think you might want to take notice. I think user experience should mean a lot from the beginning of the interaction until the end. But as has been discussed in this thread several times you choose based on the quality of the customer, but don't forget the user also chooses based on the quality of the service. And some measure their experience to include the interactions in messages.
This is the entire reason i thought this thread was misplaced and should be among pros, as you also mentions in your first comment. Because when you begin to talk about value of one person versus the next, the things that are discussed are completely dehumanizing. I'm seeing a lot of talk about who is wasting time, either because they are lonely, talking too much, looking for something other than platonic, or maybe don't have money to pay. Let's tackle one at a time.
A lonely person, let's say a man, reaches out to a lady to discuss a cuddle. A lady the claims to want to provide comfort to a person because he need this valuable thing called touch. You know what else they need? Compassion and conversation. But you don't have time for that. Because it's messing with your money, money she can get from the next guy. (Quality low)
Thus customer wants to cuddle, want wants to get to know the service provider. The chat and try to find a comfortable report with said service provider. This customer would like to know that they would like to be in this person's presence in an intimate position. This customer might think for this service provider as much more than a warm body, because a warm body is easy to find. Guess what it's for sale on the internet. But this customer is taking to long to book i could be talking to the next guy that will book. (Quality low)
Thus person is talking trying to figure out what services this cuddler offers. Shes asking all the questions, VIP service, attire, type of touch and position. It makes this person feel as though she's looking for something more than platonic. And guess what she is. She's trying to figure out if shed waste her time spending her money on this warm body or move on to the next because more than likely the next, just like the last will offer exactly what she's looking for. Because it's the service she wants and it's for sale on the internet. I'm sure this happens to female pros as well because their service is priced on the internet. (Quality low)
This next man is older, a widow and needs to feel touch and a connection he hasn't felt in a long time. Problem is he spent his savings on the care of his wife 10 years ago. His situations changed sent she's been gone, hit a rough spot , credit is high income low. He's at his wits end, he finds this website that says it offers briefly what he needs for a nominal fee. He signs up and he finds someone close to to cuddle with. Her service is a little higher than he expected so he needs to find away to fit his budget. He makes an appointment, money comes up he needs to postpone. He thinks she'll understand because she's suppose to provide comfort. But he gets tagged as low quality and gets blocked. A red pill materializes on his counter, out of frustration ge takes it and now he's on the internet mansplaining every reason it's wrong to pay for cuddles. But it's ok to pay for sex because they sell it on the internet, and guess where they sell it. (Quality low)
Now there is a spectrum of people that fit somewhere in those 4 places and many more places but some things are common. Can you determine which was rated as low quality? Depends on who was rating right?
Customer service and user experience. Needs and wants. A provider needs a customer and vice versa each value the other different. The provider can be just a warm body for money and the customer is a warm body in the way of money. The provider give unique customer service, the customer provides has user experience or provides a user an experience. The customer wants a warm body, a product paid for for a specific time and the provider has to tolerate that warm body for a time.
I know all of that sounds like I'm unfairly characterizing all of this. But do we need nuance when we are trying g to fill out the balance sheet? All we need is the numbers to make it work. How much money you can provide for a service and how much time do you have to spend to get it. How much service i can get out of how little money i can spend. It's smart to avoid fees let's take offline. I paid i want what i want, the customer is always right, right?
I hope i didn't waste anyone's time, id hate to do that. But my point is value is assigned by both parties and money is cheap. We spend it on ego waffles because the time is takes to make waffles is worth more than what ego waffles cost. @IronLemon nothing is wrong with ego waffles it just costs something that we are willing to spend on it, money. Nothing is wrong with paying for cuddle because it takes less time than I'd have to invest to find it, and someone values their time less than i value mine so I'll throw money at it.
Hurry up I need you to book or go away. Hmmmm..lets see..and I love the idea of my name being passed around between unseen individuals at a premium. I was a server, One of my favorite customers only ordered coffee and popcorn, everyone made fun of him except me. He had a walker and was always stumbling around..I'm sure he would probably be labeled a time waster. Looking back I may have even called him a friend. All interactions are priceless. Don't let money make you forget who you are.
I really love this. Thank you. Society has changed. People wanting a quick hit of something without fostering growth in relationships.
As a client who respects people's time with my own investment of time, money, volunteering clear instructions on how to get to my place without being asked, making sure I'm showered up right before, sheets and bed all clean, creating a nice mood in the envrionment with candles, lighting, and scents, be flexible with time when they push me around the schedule... the list goes on and on.
I've had some pros do very little communication. More than not, they have been late to the appointment. Which, I get it, they are coming to my place for the first time, but some will not even communicate an eta they could get from google maps, leaving me wondering if they are coming.
Right now, i'm dealing with a pro that changed time on me last minute, then changed the day and I'm left with anxiety and can't sleep, wondering if she'll come through.
There is the side of time wasters, but there is also the side of pros who want to book it quick without fostering some comfort with some nice communication that could build into an awesome cuddling session.
I did have one pro send me a quick message saying, "less than two days!" when the time came and that meant a lot to me. One pro immediately calls me by my name and sent out detailed messages in a get-to-know-you fashion.
Some pros, I can tell, don't even remember my name throughout the booking and session. And this is starting to erode my want to be a client in this community.
So it's actually great communication paired with cuddling. Those are the ones I want to be a repeat client with.
@IronLemon There are definitely some recognizable tropes to be expected from Cc forums. Derailment, for instance, being an almost constant lol.
@OliveGreen “I consider a high quality client to be someone who in their first message states their name, their available times, how many hours they're looking for and the city they live in and wish to host me in.”
This!! Some of my favorite clients to work with are those who understand how to compose an effective Cuddle proposal. Especially when they have a blank profile but take the time to include a picture in there message. These sort of client inquires put a smile to my face and I wish more understood why this sort of initial message rubric is attractive.
Some of you seem to have good intentions but would benefit to think beyond your own life experiences. Get this, As a professional cuddler, I might receive ten inquiries in a single day. Out of those, maybe two will come from people who want to book a cuddle session with me. Of those two clients , one will eventually book me for a cuddle. That translates to a 10% success rate on a good day.
I suspect that as a cuddle enthusiast, especially if you're male, you don't receive the same volume of messages. That makes it harder to grasp how time-consuming it is to chat with every person for weeks on end without a booking. It could easily become a full-time job in itself.
Anyone with a business-oriented mindset is naturally going to prioritize serious inquiries. It's not about being dismissive—it's about managing time and energy effectively.
You're absolutely correct. That's why perspective matters. People can empathize and sympathize with the struggles of providers as providers should empathize and sympathize with people. Customers can sympathize and empathize with people as people can sympathize and emphasize with customers.
Something I would like to point out, and I don't have a side to take or dog in this fight but something that may want to consider is that people who are either new to the site or maybe not new but just have limited frame of reference and experience with being social, interacting with others, or reaching out to a stranger to see if their service is a good fit, will more than likely do things like not get to the point of booking, or ask a bunch of questions, or say weird things, or just might take a few back and forths to build the confidence to figure out how to navigate the conversation. And it might be that they are just lonely and awkward and don't know what else to do or how to do it. Not everyone knows the expectations and rules of interaction especially when those expectations and rules vary broadly from person to person.
And I agree with @brownglucose in that these kind of threads often do have an undertone, and sometimes overtone, of resentment towards cuddle pros and can bring out some nasty incel.red pill behaviors and we need to be more supportive because often the very people who would benefit from a cuddler the most are the people who respect them the least. The stories I've heard about the things women have to deal with here, and then you still want to piss and moan about pros? I would be jaded as hell. It's no wonder there are not many non pros here , they are all ran off by the creepy weirdo committee. It's a good thing to have women still willing to be paid to do it.
However. That being said, and this isn't directed towards anybody, as a general statement, some cuddle pros really could be more aware of how they treat others and their potential as well as current clients, because they do sometimes make comments about them that are demeaning and treat them as a burden. Some of the comments I've read before in the forums makes me wonder how on earth anybody would ever want to hire that person. And it's obvious when the person is seen strictly as a dollar sign and not as a human being. Go make your money I don't fault that, however I do fault that if you're going to make your money in a field that primarily deals with human interaction and how you treat them then try seeing them as people first. And there are some entitled AF attitudes from both sides, clients and cuddlers, so y'all could both stand to listen to each other's perspectives a little more.
Yeah lots of people definitely waste time. I think people sometimes want company and not a cuddle and don’t know that, or don’t know how to communicate it. I think people feel indecisive and hesitant about paying for a service like this. Other times I think people have serious social anxiety. It can be frustrating though, which is why I honestly take a photo of a section of my profile and just respond with that while letting people know they need to pay attention. Messaging me “hey” and nothing else, is automatically not worth a response. Thats usually how I measure it. Or if people do message that I immediately ask them if they want a session, and send them a photo of my boundaries. Despite the reason, it is all frustrating to deal with.
@brownglucose
Some of my favorite clients to work with are those who understand how to compose an effective Cuddle proposal. Especially when they have a blank profile but take the time to include a picture in there message. These sort of client inquires put a smile to my face and I wish more understood why this sort of initial message rubric is attractive.
Your profile doesn't state that you expect name, date, time and cuddle place in a potential client's first message. Instead, you say:
Please reach out with any questions, I’m an open book!
That's personally inviting time-wasting and is your own doing. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Sometimes we reach out to pros with a propsal time and date yet still get no responses. Or a response well after the proposal expiration date. Some pros don't really see this as a professional service and take a casual approach to this site.
Yes!!! I know exactly what you mean and it's so frustrating. Wish there was a way to weed them out up front, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. 😩😡
Not to state the obvious, but it’s almost as if people are selfish, desperate, and terrible at communicating.
Which, admittedly, is the factory setting for all humans.
Customer is King, (translated means, ultimately the customer, the person that pays money, keeps the business in business, it takes precedent over everything.) This may seem outdated or unpopular, it is however the truth.
Maybe this could help from my sales background:
Build all interaction around customer/client value and you can't go wrong. Set up very direct and specific steps (a checklist) for your communication and stay on track with your interaction (a checklist) and you'll gain all the clients you want, they'll wait in line.
"The value you place on potential clients makes them invaluable."
We're heading in the right direction discussing this topic, thanks to all that contribute.
Paying male clientele keeps the lights on in this place. Pros plz don’t forget that. Calling us time wasters and discriminating on half the country isn’t wise business practice.
@Metfan84 Given the high ratio of men to women, and the resistance of many of those men to hiring a pro for platonic cuddling, I doubt anyone is suffering by prioritizing their own safety.
If I read that "a session with me is a privilege" in a pro's profile, that's a guarantee I will never see that person. Talk about being arrogant. I see pros as being in sales. You've got to have really good people skills because you've got lots of competition. I've had people message me and I ask what sets them apart and I just get a generic answer about the benefits I get from cuddling.