Huge disappointment

gr8cuddleinnvgr8cuddleinnv
in General

I've been cuddling for almost 10 years in multiple cities. I have found that many females here also look at cuddling as companionship, also, whether Pro or not. Many include in their profile that they are also open to dinners, theatre, etc. Some have charged the same rate, others discount it, and yet others will give an hour free for each of cuddling, among other variations. I have health issues, so I will not pursue a relationship, in fairness to both parties, so having the ability to begin with cuddling has worked well for me. I was recently banned after years of supporting this site. The profile I contacted clearly stated she was open to non-cuddling activities, also. I knew what her Pro price was so I asked what the rate was for dinner and possibly a show, for instance, assuming Rate was per hour, like the dozens or so cuddlers before her understood it to be. She responded with a Total Price for 1 hour cuddling with dinner and a show. The logical reply to her was asking how much time she was allowing for dinner and a show. In Vegas, you may not get your reserved table at a fine dining restaurant on time plus the length of shows varies drastically, so it seemed like a valid question. In 10 years, this was the first time I was given a Total Price instead of an hourly rate. The next thing I get is a message from CC accusing me of being a sugar daddy. After 10 years, mind you, this was the only time I was banned. (I should have picked up on her referring to me as Babe/Hun in her first message. My bad) Being my first ever banning, I also received the "You only have one chance to appeal" edict, which gave me a creepy big brother vibe. So, I highly recomment that, in the future, the mods look to the conversation and not assume they have the ability to read anyones' mind. I understand their possible mindset to protecting their Pro cuddlers, since that is where their commission comes from, but treating those who initiate/complete the whole transaction, by insulting their motives is not the way to go, imho. I have seen many discussions deleted and locked over the years when the mods go into their police state mode, but I do hope they have the courage to leave this up so others, both parties, don't allow accounts, especially brand new accounts, to possibly push away clients. Even though we don't pay the commission, without us, nothing happens. CC would be wise to understand that.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    If they banned you, it was not a mistake.

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    99

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Obviously I have no idea what happened in this case. But history teaches us that posts of this type rarely tell the whole story.

    People who are banned do indeed have one chance to appeal. (Why would you need more than one?) Reasonable and well argued appeals, especially those supported with evidence, are considered carefully and in rare cases bans are reversed.

    Mods do have the power to read conversations on the site once somebody has been Reported, and often do. When making moderating decisions, they do not consider the parties concerned contribute financially to the site, directly or indirectly.

    This site is not a 'police state'. It is a a private commercial company, and the directors are entitled to run this site however they please within the law. One of the things they do is listen carefully to the community. They don't often do what we ask, but they do listen to what we have to say providing it is cogently argued.

    Professional cuddlers are allowed to offer companionship services as long as it is only a small part of what they do here. There is no problem with agreeing a 'whole price' for a meeting providing the site is paid its 15% commission. I'm not sure whether combining companionship and cuddling in one meeting is allowed or not, but it is straying into an area that is very susceptible to ambiguity or misinterpretation.

    Cuddle Comfort bans tens of sex workers, sugar babes and clients per day. It is an endless and serious problem.

    [I'm not a mod but I am a longstanding member.]

  • [Deleted User]aTallCuddleBug (deleted user)
    edited December 2024

    Fwiw I support the spotlighting of your appeal, given the provided details of your story. Assuming no critical details have been missed, but even allowing for that - a veteran in good standing whose request is quite explicitly that his logs be read and that he not be assumed guilty of pursuing services he wasn't, or having intentions that he didn't, is an appreciable request.

    "I'm not sure whether combining companionship and cuddling in one meeting is allowed or not, but it is straying into an area that is very susceptible to ambiguity or misinterpretation."

    Yeah, well, I think all of us have seen enough professional women's profiles to know that the blurring of this line proactively courted by those women seeking to attract clients with a variety of experiences or menu items. To speak in this way as though there's anything about the conversation and questions that he ended up with that is problematic, or not effectively instigated by the profile he was responding to itself, is to demonstrate a disinterest in hearing this person. At which point speaking back at him becomes, then, necessarily, a behavior of those who are speaking to hear themselves. Rather than those who are actually engaging in a basically dignifying conversation with him.

    To say nothing of enthusiast profiles which also blur the same line.

    We should at least be acknowledging what this community darn well knows - it hosts more than strictly cuddling, but also the very human and connective and sometimes friend forming stages of human contact that are often considered a prerequisite for cuddling - as such is both a dignified and safe way for all to proceed. And with all of that, activities that have nothing direct to do with either the allowed and site intended end game of cuddling, OR disallowed sex for hire stuff.

    If people aren't allowed to stray into an area that pros are constantly enticing people towards, such as non-cuddling activities for pay, full stop - then I would expect to stop seeing that on pros profiles. And thus this person would not have found themselves in "an area very susceptible to ambiguity or misinterpretation".

    The mods can hack it and I am at least tentatively inclined to assume the best of them, in my very limited experience. But this compulsive need to silence the dude and imply a sort of perfection, on good faith alone, is creeping me out. If this person showed up at a meet or something, what I would do is treat them like a human being, not a user on a ban list on a website. We do ourselves such harm in allowing social media to rob us blind and leave us proud of it, when it comes to actually giving a shit about people and holding space for them. I'm sympathetic to the tasks of the mods, but two things can be true: They can be great mods, and great people, and still very unsurprisingly fall shy of the absolute myth of perfection.

    Just as every single other human being constantly is. Would be cool if people didn't have a pathological need to imply otherwise. If this site has anything cool going for it, it's having a community. I am and imagine will for the rest of my life be reminding online communities of what alternatively it might look like to engage in the same dilemmas and resolutions of conflicts, if they were dealing with people in person. Where we're actually attuned to one another, and everything more capable of the basic coregulation that is the unseen glue of our society, which few have awareness of, let alone vocabular for, as some of that secret healthy social sauce we simply go without when piling into social media only to spend year after year pretending we're not disrespecting ourselves and others by feeding this monstrosity of long-measured decay in societal health, as per studies upon studies, and we're still just getting started.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    The mods do not claim to be perfect and mistakes, while rare, do happen. On occasion they have been admitted in the forum and/or corrected if possible.

    Since the OP was banned we may reasonably infer that:

    a) somebody Reported him. Well it has to be the professional concerned, there is nobody else.

    b) the mods found some evidence of wrongdoing: they don't ban people just on an allegation. Why people are banned is not public and is not disclosed in detail to the subject. It is possible he was banned not for this incident but a previous one that came to light when the mods looked into his account.

    The mods are just ordinary members of the community. They are volunteers, and they have neither time or inclination to look for trouble where there is none. They take banning very seriously and do not ban people lightly.

    I am friendly with and have helped people who have been banned, and in such cases I have always been impressed by the fair dealing of the mods.

    a veteran in good standing whose request is quite explicitly that his logs be read and that he not be assumed guilty of pursuing services he wasn't, or having intentions that he didn't, is an appreciable request.

    It certainly is, and had such a request been made politely I have no doubt that it would have been followed up and appropriate action taken. In fact I suspect that's exactly what happened.

    The OP's story is patently misleading. It doesn't stand up to the slightest scrutiny.

  • gingerrootgingerroot

    @gr8cuddleinnv it does seem like they dropped the ball in your case

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    We're hearing one side of the story here.

  • 4bearhugs4bearhugs

    Wasn't this thread locked yesterday?

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    Yeah this is interesting. I assume a lot of what he mentioned is true because it's not a unique story. But i also know he didn't share all the details. I bet he did something in this particular case he described to get himself banned and I'm willing to bet he's done it most of the time over the last 10 years. He probably got comfortable saying things in the messages he's kept offline before now.

    I also know in 10 years he hasn't done these things alone. But i guess mods aren't detectives and shouldn't be investigating further than what's right in front of them. I'm sure the information is there though.

    Wouldn't that be a great job and undercover cuddler?

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