@IronLemon Culture (society) evolves based on exactly the same criteria as every other biological system.
Those things that cause a culture to survive, and to propagate itself, are passed on.
Those things that are harmful to a culture eventually cease, or turn out to be a null factor, and maybe hang around.
And, of course, a lot of cultural remnants are mostly useless and inert, and only occasionally factor into surviving and propagating.
120 billion humans over 250,000 some years leads to some complexity.
It always helps to remember that we are just barely evolved Carnage Chimps, a very very very strange amalgamation of predator, scavenger, and gardener.
We do what we do, by and large, because we are compelled to by our instincts, and our hormonal drives.
Culture is, to me, the least interesting (and least powerful) factor of determining (or causing) human behavior.
It’s sort of sobering how often what we think is personal preference and choice is simply a part of getting food or attracting mates.
@MatesCuddles, I'm a heterosexual guy and I find it nice to hear that you are seeking to be intimate without the sexual component and that other heterosexual guys are open to it.
I'm not able to myself because of a past experince when I was younger, I find that I'm not willing (able?) to trust that cuddling with someone homosexual would truely be Platonic. I have no doubt that some can, I just wouldn't know who was being platonic and who was not.
I kind of wish I could trust. If I could, I would certainly be open to it.
Just my 2 cents...
@DavidJH That is also very much the same reason I'm sure for many women when it comes to cuddling heterosexual men. Your post should stand as a reminder of that when men question why a woman is hesitant to meet them on here.
@pmvines, absolutely! This actually occurred to me after I posted and left for work.
Thanks for mentioning it as I likely would have forgotten before I would have mentioned it
@CharlesGrove Cultural evolution is different from biological evolution in a few key areas. Namely, a small number of people in power can impose change, can impose rules on a large number of people. It doesn't have to be beneficial, it just has to suit those in power. At the same time, it takes a large number of people not in power to resist that change or effect other change. The changes can also happen quite quickly, as opposed to the generations needed for biological evolution. In fact, you can take a biological entity (ie, person) and plop them in a different culture and they'll generally adapt to that culture fairly quickly.
It's interesting to think about, but maybe in a different thread. I'm not sure how it relates to cuddling.
Very seriously considering changing my username to CarnageChimpWantsAHug.
Don’t tell @MonkeyNeedsAHug …
Writer GF, see the post below yours from wilderdude.
I have a wide variety of friends. The straight ones would consider this gay. You could not pay them to do this.
@SlimBrown62
They would consider this to be sexual?
@starrynitecuds i took on your suggestion and made a thread w that very topic, although it became brigaded there are some interesting contributions
I enjoyed your sentiment @MatesCuddles
I'm very much not homophobic, so anything's possible. But that's all separate from being told by a woman in a position of privilege, visiting the male experience and some of its sufferings part-time, that you should just cuddle other men. That's basically being told to internalize your value as an other'd citizen/sex and figure it out amongst yourselves. Not unlike billionaires telling lower classes and minorities to figure it out amongst themselves, as if their financial struggles are a problem entirely of their own creating, and solving. And nevermind that the solutions aren't solutions.
@aTallCuddleBug That's quite the stretch. With your analogy, you're saying that the loneliness and isolation of men is the fault of women. But the solutions are solutions for many men. For many men here, even. As for the message given by women (many of whom cuddle other women) saying men should cuddle other men, that's up to you to take what you want from it.
And this all is being said to you by someone not in that position of privilege you mention.
Your solution to being a man was becoming a woman, and analogies don't need to be perfect. They inherently aren't. Still worse when bad faith actors insist on misinterpreting things and applying their own all or nothing and black and white thinking, products of arrested development due to trauma - even if such thinking was actually precluded rather than indicated by the post you're 'responding' to.
There's a lot you don't want to understand, and I don't see myself wasting time feeding your ongoing maladaptive attempts to individuate and self actualize literally by way of simply not being a man and being found here and there making sure people realize your own internalized and severed relationship to self and men, from which you look down on and blame them exclusively for things. You seem to not realize you project your own frameworks onto others, and think perhaps they're behaving as you implicitly recognize yourself as doing.
There's a lot more nuance than your garden variety social media addict identity politics and moral purity culture virtue signaling cares to acknowledge. Including for example, your garden variety social media addict identity politics and moral purity culture virtue signaling.
Just another person on the internet competing for 'absolute rightness' and 'absolute moral purity' by way of invalidating others because it's inconvenient to you. Just another person using the abstraction of social media to feign a level of respect for other people that you don't have but would also respectfully not reveal while in person with them. "Hehe, don't you want to fall for my crap on the internet, though?"
No.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@aTallCuddleBug I hereby take back any negative comments which I have made about the length of your posts. I am IMPRESSED with your use of rhetoric!!!! " . . . ongoing maladaptive attempts to . . . " holy crap, I have to save that paragraph for my own use later on (with a few edits of course). Brilliant!
@aTallCuddleBug
Your solution to being a man was becoming a woman
No. My solution to gender dysphoria was to become who I really am.
identity politics
Transphobe-like typing detected.
You have two choices right now Try to understand or remain in ignorance. I recommend the first. Otherwise, an intelligent conversation with you is impossible.
I support trans rights, and the idea that calling you out for very common internet behaviors such as identity politics, as well as the deeper associated trauma that drives people to behave that way, is transphobic - is at face value, a genuinely goofy behavior
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4301205/
My choices and my reality exists outside of the crude, bad faith dichotomy you use to disregard anything that disturbs your maladaptive equilibrium. I seem to be more educated about GID than you. Play a silly game of "agree with me or you're ignorant and a transphobe" somewhere else. Although it works best on the internet where consequences and coregulation are removed, so you can show your arse while feeling invulnerable, eh? Keep your dishonest equilibrium away from me; I'm what your coveted non-realities can only hope to choke and shatter upon. I have a commitment to intellectual honesty that isn't beholden to your death grip on dishonestly derived self-concept.
Did you know that narcissists literally cannot process shame in a healthy way, and thus have to occupy a false self of literally endless insecurity playing itself out as grandiosity?
Here's an absolutely fantastic, dare I say goated book you should "Try to understand or remain in ignorance" with: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/
There's also nibbling at the topic by way of youtube videos on toxic shame - I recommend Heidi Priebe's content, she's top knotch. Good luck, and don't let your obsession with yourself suddenly go missing just because your equilibrium is on the line. Might want to try offering yourself the compassion you're expecting from people who your ego demands of you to dehumanize. But hey, I'm just a guy that intelligent conversation is impossible with. Probably better to literally practice the root exercise of ignoring stuff, while pretending it doesn't create, and preserve ignorance.
..right?
@aTallCuddleBug My identity should not be political. If you can't understand that, there's no hope for you.
Oh I'm sorry, I used the word "should". I didn't mean to force anyone to do anything.
I'm 100% sure that you didn't read that post before 'responding' to it with another literally ignorant characterization of it, because you replied within seconds. But you had already concluded that intelligent conversation with me was impossible, so, technically you have to admit to yourself that you're engaging with someone for other reasons than having an intelligent conversation with them. Personally, that looks like identity politics to me, but what do I know.
Has this kind of behavior brought you to where you want to be in life, socially? Or is there a connection between this and your aimless and dishonest relationship to social media and the topics that exist here, but seemingly are mere backdrops for self-important and reality bending behaviors? I'm actually logging out, because I usually at some point make some kind of effort to practice what I preach. Maybe having last word will heal you of a lifetime's worth of soul deep and soul crushing insecurity. Cheers.
I am truly impressed with how much @aTallCuddleBug knows about people he knows nothing about.
@aTallCuddleBug Didn’t you just make a post saying you were logging off for the day because too much internet drama? Guess you changed your mind on that 😂
@brownglucose It looks like he can't resist insulting people in the most bloviating manner he can, especially if they dare question his claims.
I'm wondering if anyone has ever conducted a poll/research/whatever to see what % of women enthusiasts actually find a male enthusiast to cuddle with (or even converse with), or if the majority of them never do. It would certainly add some insight into why most (not all) of the male enthusiasts can't get responses or find someone to cuddle with.