Let’s make the forums welcoming

edited December 2024 in General

For some reason the forum has seemed to have blown up lately in regards to who should be cuddling who, and while it’s nice (for some of us) to think all of us in the cuddling community would be willing to help one another out by providing platonic touch or be willing to seek out platonic touch with those we normally wouldn’t consider, let’s please remember we are all here for different reasons and no one should feel any pressure whatsoever on who they should personally consider cuddling. No one should be made to feel guilty for their platonic cuddle preferences.

Also, unfortunately there are many (former, or soon to be former) members here on the site (not necessarily the forums) that push boundaries or outright assault people, and from what I have seen, it’s mostly men that are doing it. A lot of men… It happens so much that it becomes normal to the women and non-binary people this happens to and it’s horrible to know that it goes on. And don’t get me wrong, it also happens to men (and women by other women), just to a lesser extent. As a result, you are going to hear from some jaded members who are absolutely sick of dealing with people that constantly grope them or expose themselves or dry hump or strangle them or stalk them or threaten their lives or rape them…the list goes on and it’s unbearable. Proper screening is so important, and even then it may not be enough sometimes.

We also have to deal with (mostly) guys getting scammed, and pros that offer extras (whom we are constantly having to ban). Please try to understand that when certain genders are called out, it’s not an attack on you (unless you are doing this, then it definitely is an attack on you and shame on you). We should be standing up for those that are hurt and support them, not getting offended when we are not even part of the problem group they are calling out.

This constant trolling/baiting/bickering has got to be tempered. It’s getting to be too much and this is not looking like the welcoming place that it should. Thank you.

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Comments

  • Yep, be mad at the bad apples, not at the people saying that the apples taste bad

  • [Deleted User]jimmylee (deleted user)

    Thank you @CharlieBear . Shaking my head that so many are experiencing these things.

    @pmvines I like how you framed that.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I sometimes wonder if these forums scare off more people than they welcome.

  • @WriterGF i don’t think enough people bother to use the threads for it to matter. This format of chatting via forum is kind of an internet relic designated for the olds. According to my Gen z friends atleast.

  • @WriterGF yeah I think so too

    Also when I meet someone here for the first time, I usually ask them about something that’s going on the forum as just general conversation, and it’s amazing how many folks just have ZERO interest about the forums. I know members that have been here over 8 years plus who have never posted or even visited the forums but they are super active in the CC community! 👍

  • edited December 2024

    I know a topic like this makes it scarier, but I don’t think people here realize how bad it can be, and some of the (former) forum members that would get offended were also ones that didn’t think there was anything wrong with pushing boundaries and that the women were asking for it by charging money for cuddles. I too am so jaded now that if someone is offended I have to bust out my tiny violin because they may share that same mentality.

  • You had me at "threaten their lives or rape them…"
    Is this site really worth it?

  • @night_songs
    There are great risks when meeting strangers online, and too many people that do not take necessary precautions. But there are also people that take all the precautions and still encounter these dangerous types. Whether it is worth it or not is up to each of us.

  • @CharlieBear Since the non-issue of strait men not cuddling men has been beaten to death and then some recently, I expect that asking why strait men not cuddling other men be considered trolling going forward. what do you think?

    Regarding assaults etc. many go unreported due to off-site booking, and non-reports put others at risk as well. I am aware that booking on the platform will not eliminate incidents but will reduce them.

  • edited December 2024

    @brownglucose True. It's a clique of old gaurd. The same people bomb the forum with the same observations.

  • Finger pointing is just going to reignite the conflicts in this thread about making the forums better.

  • @Sooson
    Yes if it is continued to be brought up in more threads, at least where people are being made to feel guilty about their preferences, then flag. Being suggested in general, then no I hope people can allow their feelings to not be indirectly hurt so we can keep flags down.

  • [Deleted User]jimmylee (deleted user)

    @CharlieBear I remember when I first signed up for an account here many years ago. My first couple of cuddles I was terrified. I let my mind go crazy and I imagined my cuddle partner showing up to the room, and her boyfriend jumping me or pulling a gun on me. I took precautions to the best of my ability. I'm thankful all my cuddles have been safe and sweet. What you have reported here, while not surprising, is shocking, makes me angry, and shutter all at the same time.

    @Sooson I agree with wanting to see an end of that topic, but bring an "innocent until proven guilty" kind of guy, we can't assume someone is trolling simply because they bring up that topic (or any number of topics that have been brought ad nauseam). It could be a member new to the forum who didn't think to check if the topic has already been brought up. In such a case, I would recommend one of the mods inform the OP, and then shut it down immediately.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    If we are going to start branding rehashing topics on these forums trolling, we will have more "trolls" than a D&D campaign.

  • [Deleted User]jimmylee (deleted user)

    @WriterGF 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @jimmylee

    I think you're one of the most reasonable people I've ever disagreed with. (Yes, that's meant as a compliment)

    @WriterGF

    Seems like an apt comparison, seeing as how trolls regenerate.

  • Can we rehash cheese?

  • [Deleted User]jimmylee (deleted user)

    @IronLemon I took it as such. 😊 I had a professor once tell my class, "If you can't sympathize (note: he didn't say agree) with an opposing view, you haven't fully understood the other person's position." That has always stuck with me. I can't say I always been great at implementing it, but I do try. I'm old. The number of hills I'm willing to die on have been drastically reduced in number.

  • @CharlieBear Awesome ideas and information!🎉

  • @jimmylee Those are sage words indeed.

    My hills went down when I started asking myself, "How important is this, really?"

  • edited December 2024

    If we are going to start branding rehashing topics on these forums trolling, we will have more "trolls" than a D&D campaign.

    I hear they are vulnerable to fire ... I believe it also stops them from regenerating ... 🔥

  • @jimmylee @IronLemon that is the best compliment i would ever hope to get one day.

    @WriterGF i have been told by more than 5 people over the years tell the left in part because of the forums and not recently. I usually tell b people to go to the forums to learn about the site and how to navigate, we don't often give them any hope this is a place for them. Not everytime but there have been at least 5, between the forums and getting flooded with unsavory conversations.

    So we should be mindful that there is an audience of brand new people looking. I've even had people who i had t spoken to reach out and ask if they were always so contentious.

    But we have our good days too, so it ain't all bad. If you can do it once you can do it 365 times.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @ReltvlyCanshes I am reminded of all the legit newbies who have posted questions here. Some get great answers with useful links, and some just get mocked depending on who notices their topic first.

  • Yeah, i know some of them are repeats and some are plain curiosity, but they wouldn't know and get shamed immediately. I've seen a few that have thick skin and stick around. They've become regulars in the forums too.

  • edited December 2024


    Free the homie Tyrone!!

  • Let’s make the forums welcoming

    👍👍👍

    Yes, let's do that. And I am going to start with THESE 2 adorable cuddler memes right here cuz...Yeah!🫂😁

    😄


    😄😄😄😄😄

    It looks like Dude might be snoring, but that doesn't phase this cuddly cutie creature from wrapping it's fuzzy tentacles around him to endure and just BE IN THE CUDDLE MOMENT of it all!🫂😁❤️

  • Yep, that comfy smile on its face is definitely saying....

    "Poor little human, you have had hard day...You just keep on snoring away. It's okay Pal, I got you!"😁🐙🫂

    😆😆😆

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