@brownglucose I see where you’re coming from, I just charge money because I don’t have a lot of spare time - and my time is valuable. Putting myself, my home, and my energy out there is labor so I think it’s fair to attach monetary value to it for people who want a good/service which is cuddling in a safe space with a cool person. I probably also said those things because you said you’re weary of all men. Although I kind of get it - fundamentally I don’t. Why provide a service if you don’t trust the entire sex? I’m the first to admit women are mire likely to be harmed by men than women, I’m a survivor of DV myself - but I know good men exist. Great men exist, with big loving hearts - and they are everywhere here. I don’t think they all deserve the same treatment, personally. But just random thoughts. 💁🏻♀️
@nikkimenim
Ty for sharing your thoughts. I agree that putting your time, home, and energy into this work is labor, and it’s absolutely fair to attach value to that. Everyone’s approach to this is different, and Ive been a caregiver for all my life so it’s nice to finally be compensated for that sort of energy work.
I want to clarify that my caution toward men doesn’t mean I dislike the entire sex—I know good and loving men exist, and I’ve been fortunate to know some of them personally 🥰🥰. My caution comes more from an awareness of the risks involved, particularly in a profession that requires vulnerability and trust. Particularly on a site where people attempt to cross my boundaries and solicit me for non platonic sessions on the daily.
I’m naturally a cautious and anxious person, and as some who’s also a survivor of dv, I recognize that shapes how I pursue the world, including this work. That said, I absolutely love and respect men—there are many wonderful ones—but I’m also aware of what the worst of the gender can be capable of. Of course, harm isn’t exclusive to any one group—all people are capable of causing it.
One of my main concerns with CC is that I wish they required all users to verify their identity and confirm they aren’t on the sex offender registry. That would certainly help ease the ole nerves just a tiny bit.
@brownglucose I understand everything you are saying and it makes sense. I don't gather that you don't love or trust men, you are just making sure you will be safe - as you should. Your experience isn't the same as @NikkiFM and that's ok. I didn't read anything wrong with what you said. I'm sure you provide an amazing experience, once safe!
@NikkiFM there is a certain privilege you have that @brownglucose does not. Maybe you don't understand what she is saying because you can't see that 🤷🏽♀️
And bc things can get spicy here - I'm saying that in factual, yet empathetic, way, not a sarcastic, disrespectful, way.
I want to say this in the most sincere way that I can.
We are all equal.
Our experience change us but that fact remains. We create ways to use our differences to play favorites in a public arena to bolster a point, or fit a narrative but we have a duty to ignore this mental path.
Never set yourself below or above someone based on skin, weight, perception or facts.
This is a disease of the mind that we are teaching to our children.
Happy holidays folks. 💜 ✌️
@CaramelNotes what privilege do I have? What does me being white have to do with this?
The way I see it, there are wonderful, sweet dogs in the world - but if you have been bitten by one, or more than one, you will be wary of all dogs.
If you had a wonderful dinner, but got food poisoning from it, you will probably be wary of that dish going forward.
If you've been assaulted or in some other way seriously hurt by a man or a woman, it makes sense that you will be wary of that gender, despite their being wonderful examples of both.
@WriterGF I get where you’re going - but also I have to question the person who continues to get bit by dogs? If you’re getting bit randomly by more than one dog in your life you’re either a letter carrier or dumb. Dogs always bite for a reason, and although they can always bite you as they are animals - when you’ve worked them long enough you can tell who to be weary around. As a pet care professional it’s usually 90% people’s fault why they get bit - even something like humans not leashing or locked up their dogs. Dogs are the greatest gift, and their love is unconditional.
My niece told me the other day that she doesn't like white people. WTF
I don't care who you are where you've been who you're with. If you have to pretend to be civil, pretend that this thing isn't spinning out of control, pretend we can all care about each other, cause we can, especially in today's world.
If you don't right now reach out to a different person you are missing out on life.
We have to stop this now.
Humans are terrible, even the “best” of us.
Not trusting anyone is a good way to survive, but an admittedly bad way to live.
I am reminded every single time I go into public that no one likes me, every person is afraid of me, and I should definitely go home as soon as possible.
I don’t blame them.
The price I pay for being me.
I wish that the women on this site, and all women in general, could recognize and use the power you have, that all women have to be strong and not be victims. Yes, I have many many years experience beyond what some of you have, but that has taught me a lot. I was sexually assaulted when I was young, closer to your age, and I learned how to prevent it. I am in complete control of sessions, I am not afraid of men, most of my friends are men. I’ve made a point to figure out what drives them and how they think so that I may better understand their PO. But the women here need to stop being afraid of them and start being powerful and figure out how to relate to men and not become victims. It’s all in how you talk to other people and don’t be weak or meek or fearful or expect to be hurt. Your body language will show that you’re afraid and timid, and that will basically invite some types of men to hurt you. Don’t be like that.!!!! You don’t have to be that way! You need to have confidence and you need to be sure to let everyone know that you’re in control and you need to learn how to talk and reason with others, especially with men. This whole business of constantly being afraid of men is just ridiculous. Yes I’ve had to learn how to manage situations over the years. I hope it doesn’t take you 30 years to figure it out. You are just as powerful as every man here and it’s the language you use and the way you talk and the way you value yourself that will keep you safe. Screening and lots of questions that you ask will also keep you safe. Don’t just tell them what your boundaries are you ask them what they want in a session. And if you ask carefully enough, they will admit if they want something that is not being offered. You can get any man here to admit he wants something sexual. If you are careful in the questions you ask. It works!!! The more experience you have in life the more you will understand what I mean, but running away from men and being afraid of them will teach you nothing. You do have power, you do not have to be a victim and you can learn from bad things that happened to you & how to avoid them happening again in the future. Frankly, I’m so tired of reading from young women how they’re afraid of men and they choose the bear blah blah blah stop being a weak victim.
Now, I have posted the above kind of message many times here and every single time it is ignored. Women don’t want to hear it. Why is that?? Don’t be a bunch of baby girl victims, find your strength and power. You can be warm and caring, nurturing, sweet and kind but have nerves of steel and you make sure that time spent with men is on your terms, in your control! Now go ahead and skip my message and ignore it and see what happens. Or if you don’t want to listen to me, ask your mom or your grandmother, if they have any life experience, they will tell you the same.
I host and I require ID. I know it’s not preferred by many and I have cuddlers who will always try to get past that but I refuse to send my address without their ID. It’s just a reassurance for me and I’ve had almost all good experiences because of that.
Green Flag: Someone understands the way you conduct your business and follows your protocols.
Green Flag: Someone understands the way you conduct your business and says, “No.”, and leaves.
Red Flag: Someone ignores how you conduct your business.
Red Flag: Someone tries to negotiate the way you conduct your business.
@g_w_t_w you asked why you are being ignored, and my answer is the way your message is written. I know you’re not talking to me - but calling other women “baby girl victims” is rude, punching down, and not getting the support you want. My generation at least, millennials, I’m not going to interact with anyone who calls me a “baby”. Your message makes sense - but the way you’re saying it comes across as victim blaming, and angry. Not like a supportive and encouraging older woman who’s gone thru it. Major “BOOMER” energy.
Maybe you’ll get some other answers to your question - but I ignore your posts when you do this.
Anyways, I’m grateful My vetting protocols have worked and will continue to work. I will never stop using my vetting protocols. My heart goes out to female pros who have experienced violence at the hands of nefarious characters on this site. God knows that if they were still on this site today they would tell me to keep my guard up. 💜
@Cutencuddlysd i don’t currently require ID but I will implement that moving forward; especially with those blank profiles w zero karma that try to book. Thank you for the suggestion. Do you mind if I ask what platform you ask them to upload if on. This site is not properly encrypted for personal information exchange
@brownglucose no one has asked you to stop using your protocols. A lot of us just know how seeing all one group of people as a particular way can be harmful to both parties. Some of us ladies just think it’s strange for women to be weary of all men, and hyper vigilant - but choose this as an income stream.
@NikkiFM thankfully we are all free to handle our cuddle businesses how we see fit, and business is booming. I appreciate your concern. Enjoy your holiday dear.
@brownglucose okay? lol.
@CharlesGrove excellent point sir. It’s a matter of being aware of those who cross boundaries even ever so slightly
We need a new word. Boundary appears limited to an action. Crossing is more of a mental state and the perception of it. After all this is an energy exchange.
@NikkiFM I’m actually not being ignored as I receive pm’s from women who get it and are learning how to get along with men, how to be powerful and self-confident. I also was not speaking to you specifically. But if you read the forums for very long, you see that many women complain about being victims and my point is they don’t have to be. I can just say that I am tired of reading about women preferring to be a victim than taking charge of their own safety, being confident and understanding how to get along with men as equals and not as a victim. (And we all know, by the way, that there are many crybabies on the site - both men and women and even if it doesn’t bother you, it does make me sad or impatient for them to get over that state of mind) This very well may not be you and if you know how to handle your sessions with men and are not afraid then I am very pleased to know that. When I make a post like I did, I am just trying to remind women to be strong. Hopefully, you learn this at a young age and enjoy many great relationships with men. I came out of my divorce at age 47., nearly 30 years ago and I have dated nonstop and had guy friends & great relationships for that whole time and I have learned a lot. I am open minded and I listen and I pay attention to what men feel. There are actually very few men who have bad intentions. I have never been a victim again since the time I was raped at age 21. I’m a very pragmatic person and I don’t take BS from anyone I’m also sweet and kind and gentle & and nurturing. I also am fortunate that I receive so much kindness and care from men, a lot of help too at times when I’ve needed it. I am still being asked to cuddle even at my old age so you can take my words, however you want it doesn’t matter to me, but if one woman learns how to be stronger by realizing her own power then I feel like she is paying attention. And if you personally don’t like to get advice from someone who’s older, that’s fine, learn on your own, but at least do that.
@g_w_t_w you literally asked why you’re being ignored, I gave you my personal reason for ignoring your posts - then you state “I’m not actually being ignored”.
Can you stop name calling people “cry babies” what is up the boomer generation saying things like that? It’s sophomoric. Also some men would cuddle a corpse if they could, so idk why you are insecure and need to boast “even at my age”, like what is that doing for you?
Maybe don’t ask for people’s opinion, or state that you’re asking a ridiculous rhetorical question. I highly doubt women are messaging you asking for advice the way you treat other women. Sure, maybe you get other boomers who similarly think that age equals wisdom, when it does not. I’m a 34 year old woman, you don’t know anything about my life - stop being ageist and punching down on people because of their age. Maybe act your own.
The notion that by me not accepting your advice because of your age is flawed. I love all of the women who are and have been mentors in my life, but I don’t have to accept every women’s drivel just because her parents had sex 30 years before mine. Get a grip.
@NikkiFM Hopefully you will learn over time. ETA you are sounding stronger and that’s a good thing.
@g_w_t_w your level of delusion is alarming to say the least.
Coming from a kid. I’m pretty sure you feel you’ve learned more than a 20 year old. Earn respect and you will feel happier and stronger.
@g_w_t_w I’ve reported you for name calling. I’m not a kid - I’m an adult woman. This is ageism.
Also calling women “cry babies” in multiple posts for expressing their feelings. This user continues to break the rules.
EDIT: I am using boomer, and BOOMER to mean two different things. She is a BOOMER, exemplifying all that goes wrong when someone thinks they get credit for just being alive longer than others. Those who are boomers and born during a period of time, love y’all. I’ve always surrounded myself with folks who are 30+ years, I’ve worked as a caregiver. I think everyone at every age has something to contribute.