Also mouthwash and brushing of one’s teeth and tongue can help only temporarily they don’t floss. If they don’t floss no amount of teeth brushing and mouthwash will take care of the problem. With the decaying food and then the gums being infected make for a very very bad session.
Why does this room smell like raw butt hole?
The above is a pretty crude and off-putting comment (to me at least). I guess it’s just the way some people joke.
too much sugar coating in this thread....If someone has horrible B.O. there is no way I am going to endure it. Especially if I am paying for it. I am a nice guy but I would politely say " Houston we have a problem"
lmaooo 💜
You know i do recognize that every person has different odors. But i think that the most offensive body odors are caused by some sort of cleanliness. There are bacterial issues, genetic issue and dietary issue at play but in my experience they are not the offensive issues. It's more of a habits issue, (not judging) but some think it's perfectly acceptable to arrive to a cuddle after not shower for 8 to 12 hours, i personally would not. I think that that lived life odor is just there and needs to be washed off. Same with teeth, i have certain habits that may cause my breath to be less than pleasant but i am conscious of that and work and correcting that when in close proximity. Out in the world you just gonna catch this bad breath, just kidding. I think i keep it at bay and im counting on my friends and loved ones to let me know I'm not living right.
I often see in profiles etc where people say they are allergic to this, allergic to that, can't do strong scents etc. sometimes then there is also the inherent fact that stuff like platonic cuddle people can tend to sometimes be a little on the artsy hippie new agey side of life, and I'm trying to be delicate and avoid stereotyping, but sometimes....
An idea: let cuddlists and clients each rate the other for smell after a completed booking. The ratings are secret.
On Jan 1st each year, everyone with 3 completed bookings (with different cuddlists or clients) during the previous year is sent their anonymous ratings, along with congratulations or tips. Private and positive, as they're always trying to teach us in management.
This way there's feedback to the active members who need it most, but also discretion and consensus. Even if a client gets three zeroes or five zeroes for 2024, and they know literally everyone gave them a zero, it's going to be hard getting mad at a crowd of people who independently agree and have quietly put up with you.
The ratings could have soft-balled descriptions also, like 5 - Smelling like daisies, 4 - Cleaner than the average bear, 3 - Not too scruffy, 2 - Muddy duck, 1 - Doggy needs a bath, 0 - Time to get a cootie shot
lollllol
@emptytelephone I am SO ONBOARD with that rating system.
I strive to maintain that 4 rating, ironically enough because I don’t have to smell better than you, I just have to smell better than the bear.
I did the have this happen during a session, he had just come from softball practice and very much smelled like he had just been at sports practice. First, I took payment. Even if the session doesn't go through, you just made me sit through that I deserve at least my hourly fee for not making this weird for everyone 😂
I reminded him that he was under contract to make sure that it was safe for both of us, cleanliness being outlined for a reason. He asked "Do I stink?" I said "There's no polite way for me to answer that, so I'm going to once again request that the rules of the site are followed particularly in relationship to respecting each other in the form of good hygiene"
Since then, I do always discuss BEFORE cuz that was beyond awkward. And I smelled like raw onion for awhile just from being in the room before he showered, which ended up with a lot of extra work on my end that I didn't get paid for. And I do consider all the prep time as well as whatever I need to come down from a session part of my fee, this went way above and beyond.
So get payment first, remind them that this is not only a gesture of respect but they are contractually obligated to respect you in this way, give them a chance to change the offense but not for free. You're giving your time, you should be paid for that. You're also giving your mental & emotional labour in trying to be this tactful with an adult, you should be compensated for that as well. Take care of yourself first!
Oh no! I generally like those confirmation emails about cuddle with those three top things Time Payment (ie deposit, cash or app) Come fresh and clean as you would for a special event including clothes you will wear for the session
Expectations upfront, before and during
You can include hygiene requirements in your pre-session communication and/or booking confirmation.
"To ensure a comfortable experience for both of us, we should both arrive freshly showered, teeth brushed, and with clean clothes." or "A quick reminder to arrive freshly showered and wearing clean, fragrance-free clothing for our session. It helps create the most comfortable and relaxing environment for us both."
If feasible, you could let clients know they can shower at your location before the session. I had a cuddler coming from work and he asked if he could freshen up before our session.
"I have shower facilities available if you'd like to freshen up before we begin. It's a great way to feel relaxed and rejuvenated."
If they arrive with noticeable body odor... You can frame it as a comfort measure.
"Sometimes sessions can be warm, so I keep wipes and a refreshing spray on hand if you'd like to use them before we start."
"I know the day can get hectic, and it's easy to feel rushed. If you’d like, you can take a moment to freshen up before we begin—it’s part of the experience."
You can make direct but gentle suggestions.
"Hey, it’s really warm today! Would you like to freshen up before we get started? I’ve got some wipes and deodorant here if you need them."
"You’ve had a busy day, haven’t you? Feel free to use the shower or wipes here to relax and refresh—it’s a great way to start."
You can blame external factors.
"Sometimes scents cling to clothes or skin, especially after a long day. Would you like to freshen up before we settle in? I’ve got everything you might need."
(Edited to fix grammar.)
@LadyVel perhaps the most helpful comment I’ve read today thank you dear! You have no idea how helpful this is I wish I could cross post this to the pro’s only thread
can't do strong scents etc. sometimes
@pmvines I do have a cuddle partner who told me not to wear perfume as the scent (of most perfumes) can cause headaches for him. 😔 So I asked him, "would my wearing lotion cause a headache issue?" and he told me lotion is fine. Lol
I'm really happy that he said that, cuz I need some lotion after I bathe. Lol! Gotta moisture with something over here.😜😁
So with him, I always make sure to be clean but avoid 🚫spraying perfume🚫 on.
😁👍
@Katota
That's a great point—fragrances can definitely be harmful, and it's important to recognize that many people have sensitivities or allergies that make them more vulnerable. I know the European Union has been proactive in regulating these substances, which highlights how seriously it's being taken globally compared to the states. There’s a reason why many American detergents are banned in the EU. It’s not just a preference but a health concern for many people. It's great to see more awareness around this because some of the more unregulated fragrances lead to hormone disruptions and early puberty in girls
Source: https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/certain-chemicals-may-trigger-early-puberty-girls (Nothing hippy dippy about NIH)
@g_w_t_w
Yes, it's definitely off-putting—but that's part of the idea here. Sometimes, a bit of shock value is what it takes to address an issue that others tiptoe around. I’ve seen this approach work in two real-life situations.
The first time, a band member used the line in a closed room at a radio station where I worked. Over time, staff had quietly wondered the same thing as the OP—how to address the issue. When the band member delivered the blunt statement in the presence of the offender, it was met with restrained laughter, shock, and awkward reactions. But most importantly, it drew attention to the issue. The offender quietly excused themselves, and the problem was resolved—not just for the day but for good.
The second instance was online when I suggested the same approach. The person asking for advice tried it at work, and once again, it worked. The reactions were similar—some found it funny, others were taken aback—but the situation was resolved permanently.
Granted, those examples were in group settings, and cuddling is a more intimate, one-on-one interaction. However, one of the advantages of being self-employed (as I am) is that I have the freedom to be direct when necessary. I can address uncomfortable situations head-on, knowing that while the delivery may be shocking, the resolution often follows quickly.
Ultimately, this approach isn’t for everyone, but in certain contexts, a well-timed, blunt statement can cut through the awkwardness and bring resolution where subtlety might fail.
I sometimes had to massage smelly feet, never told them that; just worked through the sheet instead of direct contact; lol. Dont do that stuff anymore though...
@PeopleLikeUs Yes, crude language and coarse behavior from others never makes a good impression on me. Fortunately, I’ve been able to avoid that type person.
Should you happen to believe that men are more likely than women to be unclean, I invite you to spend some time listening to the stories of ladies' intimate waxers.
😊👍
@CuddleDuncan Or cleaning public women's restrooms, the things that I have witnessed finding in women's restrooms (at times) exceeds the horrors that usually occurs in the men's restrooms...Particularly when "Aunt Flo" is in town!😌🤢
In the UK you would say. "Blimey you stink. Get in the shower!"
I have been very lucky so far, only once I had a cuddler with slight BO. So I was the little spoon. I did travel to a cuddler once and noticed that the bed had not been changed recently, that was very uncomfortable. While chatting and setting up a time to meet I always mention that just before our cuddle I run all my linens thru the wash and will shower like 1/2 hour before our cuddle. I will also say if they are pushed for time they are welcome to shower at my place . Let me open up a can of worms, lol. The people that are nose blind to there pets and smoking. I have no pets at all and I don’t smoke anything so I can notice the smells of dog lovers and the smell of pot/420. Most don’t realize that the smell gets into there entire house and there clothing and hair. I have friends that have house pets, dogs mostly and there houses spell like a dog pound and they have no clue because they are nose blind to it. So I avoid people that in there profile say they smoke pot or they are heavy drinkers.
I had to deal with this from a regular, once. It was an uncomfortable conversation even though I was as diplomatic as possible. But I couldn't not say anything - I was unable to see any clients after him because of how badly his BO would linger on me after a session. I would have to run to the gym 15 minutes away from my office to shower... And SCRUB.
I'll say BLESS YOUR HEART! 😂
I once heard someone observe that every workplace has one employee that gets on everybody else’s nerves. The take-away is that if you don’t know who that is, it’s probably you.
A similar statement about smell might be useful if someone in a group is noseblind to their own odor.
Sadly, this advice is useless if you have more than one smelly colleague.
Women, on average, have 50 more neurons in their olfactory bulbs, which is the part of the brain responsible for processing smells and tastes. This means that men process certain scents and tastes far slower than women.
Honestly just have to be blunt and possibly refuse them if it's that bad.
Get a pen a paper and write down 'Iced Ink' on it. Ask the person to read it aloud!! While they are laughing throw a mint in their mouth. Problem solved back to cuddles
@LadyVel Thank you so much for explaining this all are such a classy approach! Your amazing.
Oh no! That stinks....literally! 😂 But really, this can be a tricky subject to bring up to others, and I'm LOVEing the kind suggestions people have posted 🫶
As for me, I'm allergic to perfume and cologne and especially anything from AXE brand. 🫢 Like, I will absolutely get sick from scents and literally won't be able to continue with a session. I make that clear (kindly) in my profile and in messages I send so my cuddle buddy can shower to get any smells off them before our session. Sometimes they even shower for a second time that day....cuz they make sure to tell me they showered again after work or whatever 🚿 😉
And I must say, that pretty much all of my clients have been amazingly understanding and sweet about this ....which makes me heart so happy knowing there's people who are willing to shower twice (or forgo their candles, cologne or special beard oil) before a session for me 🩷
I know this is a bit different from the OP, but I think it does help that I send reminders about scents....so I imagine sending reminders about being clean would help too. Even if it feels redundant, I don't think anyone would care (as long as it's tactful reminders 😜)
As for the breath thing, I keep mints and gum on the table in my cuddle space because I get dry mouth easily. But they are out and visible and I always invite anybody to use them if they want to....without making it sound like I'm telling them to. I'm usually needing to pop one every 30 mins, and sometimes the clients will ask when I'm taking one. 😎🦊
I’ve always felt the shower and brush teeth with in 12 hours of session was a lil ridiculous. 12 hours is a really long time. It should be more like 3 hours ideally someone should shower and brush teeth directly before a session