Do you ever feel shallow...?

JustAnotherMikeJustAnotherMike
in General

I know this isn't a dating, or hookup site, but I still have a peferred body type, even if I'm just cuddling. And I just kind of feel like an ass. I feel it's at it's worst when I find someone that checks a lot of other boxes of things I want in a cuddle buddy, and they have a dozen photos, but literally all of them are from the shoulders up. And all I really want to do is ask for a pic that's not taken from an arm's length away. But I don't think there's a way to ask that without sounding like a perv, and potentially getting reported.

«1

Comments

  • KittyPukkaKittyPukka

    People would ask me consistently for a full body pic and I just added one to my profile to avoid the annoyance of being asked. I also mentioned my body type in the first line of my profile. Idk if it's more shallow than any other social media site but it kinda is what it is 🤷

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited December 2024

    I think people should not be shamed for what they are looking for physically in a cuddle partner. I personally notice quite a few profiles where people use camera tricks to try to hide their dimensions.

    Here's the contentious part: wouldn't people want to hire a pro to cuddle with that fits their dream preferences or outside their dating lane?

    Nonetheless it's a tough question to ask about a woman's size in particular. I'd love to hear people's approach to this.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    Nope, it's called personal preference, as long as you're not making it creepy. Good luck!

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    I mean, if I'm paying for something I would like to know what I'm paying for.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    Nothing wrong with having preferences. My opinion as a pro & a BBW, our profiles should reflect our physical selves. I make sure to express in my written profile that I’m a BBW as well as post full body pics in my gallery.

    It’s funny cause I’ve had a handful of clients say they picked me because they had never cuddled with a BBW before and wanted to experience it. They were happily surprised at how much they enjoyed it and a couple became regular clients. Ive had other clients say that they have thin athletic wives but enjoy cuddling a soft fluffy body, even though it’s not their typical type for dating.

    I’m certain there are more that wouldn’t want to cuddle with a BBW and there’s nothing wrong with that. When I’m choosing someone to exchange mutual cuddles with and not paid cuddles, I have my own preferences as well.

    But not all women are going to be receptive of you asking for a picture. We are told it’s a red flag on this site for other things, just like asking a pro what they wear to cuddle in. Again, I don’t see a problem with asking that however, a lot of men talk on telegram and discord and Reddit about both those questions being a way to try to find out if a pro will bend the rules or not. So as a pro it’s going to be a red flag.

    All you can do is be genuinely kind and express what you’re looking for and ask if they ”fit” that. I know there are many that will argue that it’s supposed to be platonic cuddles and shouldn’t matter but even platonically it will feel different with different body types. If they get upset simply apologize for them feeling uncomfortable or upset and move on to the next cuddler.

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited December 2024

    @sage91436 love your answer and I think it's a great point to talk about experiencing cuddles with people of all shapes and body types that we may not have an opportunity with otherwise.

  • RedFox16RedFox16

    Great answer @sage91436 ! And also @starrynitecuds 😜

    We're allowed to have preferences, but don't be creepy about them or fetishize your potential cuddle buddy. ☺️

    Keep in mind that cuddles are short term and maybe it's fun to try going out of your comfort zone. If you like the person's profile and and the vibe you get from them, consider reaching out without having a full body pic. Who knows, it might be like Sage said and you might have a great time! 🤗

    And yeah, it can be tricky for others to understand your intentions if you ask for more pics (trust me, we get tons of inappropriate messages, so it's hard to suss out the genuine questions if it sounds too similar to the inappropriate ones). If you're not sure, try another profile so you don't run the risk of getting reported. I don't report for a single message, but some might if they have had a previous negative experience.

    Good luck!! 🍀🦊😁

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I can be shallow. I'd like to know what I'm getting in to, i don't want to be surprised at least in a less than pleasant way, but i wouldn't ask for a picture. I'm surprised that asking what to wear is considered a red flag, because i don't think people coming in to this know what yo expect or how to be prepared. At least i didn't. I knew not to show up in underwear but I'd not enjoy cuddling with someone in sweats, probably not tights. I r read some describe wearing sweats in profiles.

    But back to being shallow. I think that all manner of women are lovely. Thin, curvy, bbw there are specific attributes that are different but all lovely in their own way. So knowing this the shallowness can be put aside. So since I'm not picking a mate or life long partner or a date that's not a big factor.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I don’t feel shallow at all. Most pros that I’ve seen have been more attractive in person than in their pics. I however awhile back had a pro with amazing pics who in person wasn’t even half as attractive in person. I felt it was totally false advertising.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited December 2024

    A lot of women prefer to cuddle with an attractive man also. A lot of Enthusiast women are more picky about this and have some stricter rules about who they want to be around. Pros are less likely to turn down an unattractive man.
    Some men hire beautiful women to be able to enjoy (platonic hopefully) fantasy time with someone who is “outside their dating lane” as someone above worded so perfectly! .

    But in general, I believe it helps everyone to be at their best, showing a clear open honest demeanor in their photo and (especially) a smile helps a lot. For me, a man doesn’t have to be traditionally handsome, it’s more about eyes, smile, expression!
    Some men’s profile pics look like mugshots! Well at least they aren’t afraid to show a photo so I love that self confidence & honesty.
    But a smile helps so much!

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    Some women seem to be so shallow. I mean everything was going great on our first dinner date until I told her what kind of car I lived in. :/

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @gem7
    Having a homey and livable car is a great start… or maybe a roomy minivan is more impressive?
    But I don’t wouldn’t plan to host though, if your car is your home!

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @ReltvlyCanshes i don’t believe anything you said was the least bit shallow.
    And in addition to these outside forums with the men discussing asking the women what she’s wearing or if they can request something or the mention of skin to skin cuddling are all a few of the ways some of these men try to find a pro who works outside the platonic boundaries or even worse can be pursued to go outside the platonic boundaries. I’m not saying all men that ask this is trying to do this but it’s also mentioned here in the pro only forums. About the red flags regarding clothing requests is when the guy is asking the woman what she is going to wear or making a special request for her to wear or not wear something (outside of an allergy or sensory issue).

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces
    edited December 2024

    Be kind. If you know you are shallow, try not to be obvious about it.

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces

    Shower, brush your teeth. Delouse. I always have mouthwash should you need a swish. Don't forget to pack your manners. We'll get along fine. Oh and say as less as possible to seal the deal. You're welcome.

  • pmvinespmvines

    It's not shallow to have a preference .

    It is shallow if your primary or only concern when hiring a cuddler is their physical appearance.

    It is shallow to attach their physical appearance to part of their service model, such as with the above comment about it amounting fo false advertising if you aren't deemed as attractive in person as you are in your pics.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    Nah, seriously filtered and outdated photos and deceptive descriptions ARE false advertising.
    When you're PAYING for something, it actually does matter more.

    I went to a local restaurant last week and ordered a meal based on the description and photo. It looked GOOD! What I got wasn't even close to the photo or description. It was sloppy, size didn't match, looked gross. I paid for a product AND a service (food being prepared and put together as presented.) Maybe it was fine to eat, but it wasn't appetizing or appealing.

    I posted the photos with my review and the owner contacted me to apologize and bribe me to remove my photo. It didn't work. It's forcing him to be honest or continue being embarrassed.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    It's interesting that there is (understandably) an argument in favor of pro pictures being accurate, while there are also people making an argument against clients showing any ID. So the pro needs to look like her pics, but the client can be anybody, who knows?

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    @WriterGF

    Professionals, especially those in service-based industries, have a vested interest in accurately representing themselves and their services to attract clients and build trust. This is a fundamental aspect of their business and is essential for establishing a positive reputation.

    Requiring clients to provide identification could be seen as an unnecessary invasion of their privacy and may deter them from seeking services from professionals.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @WriterGF
    Good point. Double standard.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited December 2024

    @starrynitecuds Exactly!

    And yes, one of my guilty pleasures besides the forums is that I love Big Macs! Always have and always will. But the beautiful “two all beef pattyies special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun” (if you remember that commercial) advertised are a far cry from the disappointing but still delicious version you get IRL.

    -Perhaps this will be addressed in the next administration. And no, don’t report it, it’s not a real political post. It’s just a joke people.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    NOT a double standard. The site requires accurate face photos of Pros, not enthusiasts. The site also doesn't require IDs from ANYONE (except in extenuating circumstances.)

  • SoosonSooson

    @WriterGF @g_w_t_w Wrong / false. barely apples and oranges. sorry

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited December 2024

    @Sooson
    lol no need to ever apologize for your opinion, we all have them.
    Because I'm just talking about how sometimes it feels like people needing this extreme anonymity are a little sketchy. Only to me maybe, but it does.
    But I don’t make the rules so do your thing.
    I prefer a certain type of person, open honest happy smiling. I avoid miserable depressed hiding paranoid people.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    While I am not hiding from my past I am also not leaving it a forwarding address.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

  • SoosonSooson

    @g_w_t_w Thank you for that response. Just to summarize since others who are almost as smart as I am already chimed in: The comparison between Photo requirement and ID requirement is flawed. Also, a client does provide a picture prior to the session and the pro has the right to expect that the mental midget that shows up to meet her looks like the one in the picture.

    it feels like people needing this extreme anonymity are a little sketchy

    True story: I checked into a hotel with a pro couple weeks ago and she was standing right next to me while I was checking in, handing my ID to the lady at the front desk and giving her my full name so no paranoia at all here.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    That’s awesome @Sooson lol
    Actually, I’ve had quite a few men refuse to send photos. Like I don’t know what they’re thinking. They claimed to be too “important” (James Bond type) OK.
    I don’t think it’s a requirement for a client - before cuddling - to send a photo. It’s up to the Pro to decide whether they want to deal with that level of secrecy. Maybe there’s a rule I don’t know about.

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces

    @ g_w_t_w, I definitely see red flags when a guy tries to do too much to hide his identity. As far as I am concerned he should be viewed as a rapist ,a killer or has criminal/ malicious inteent He's hiding for a reason. It's been my experience that these types attempt to glean as much information as they can from you yet provide very little information about themselves. So annoying.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @Quiet_Cuddlez whoa now I can understand you seeing red flags and choosing not to
    Engage with them
    But saying that they should
    Be viewed as rapist killers or criminals is going kinda far. If you view them that way that’s on you but I don’t rbi k they should be viewed that way.
    And this is also so off convo from the original post about someone feeling they maybe shallow for having a body type they want to cuddle with.
    This should be a separate conversation post.

Sign In or Register to comment.