Why do people flake on people like this

Roxanne72Roxanne72
in General

So, been messaging back and forth with someone about cuddling. They said they were and they can do this day and that day in this day. So I picked and asked how about Sunday morning...they said that would work. Messaged them last night said just confirming about in the morning and this morning I said I was blocked and they deleted their profile. If you're not interested why not just say you're not interested or you changed your mind or whatever?

And I'm not even a pro, I'm an enthusiast. Just a girl who loves her cuddles :-)

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Comments

  • alz480alz480

    It could be so to a number things low self esteem lack of self worth and in some delusional cases they believe the staying silent is a sign of strength

  • cuddlyDavidcuddlyDavid
    edited December 2024

    Sounds like a complete Twonk. If I were in your area I would definately be interested in a cuddle and I haven't messed anyone around and never will.

  • alz480alz480

    @Roxanne72 i just wanted to say I’m sorry you had to go through that believe I know what that’s like

  • brownglucosebrownglucose

    I’m sorry that happened to you 🫂 flakers are the worst. Probably is married or catfishing so in a way they did you a favor.

  • OokerSnapperOokerSnapper

    My view is if they are going to flake the sooner the better. Of course it is best if they never waste your time but if they are going to flake, I'd rather they do it before we meet vs down the road and after wasting a bunch of time. The emotional cost is minimal and only annoying at this point.

  • Backscratch75Backscratch75

    Sorry this happened
    And experienced the same
    One of the pieces I enjoy about meeting with pros is that there is often a deposit so there is that commitment.
    The surprising part is you are an enthusiast. I have found meeting an enthusiast is like meeting a unicorn! Harder to meet.
    Wishing you the best to connect with someone new and being that special cuddle friend. 🙂

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @Roxanne72
    From what you’ve written & your profile, it’s clearly not anything about you, and so sorry you had to waste your time and miss out on a cuddle you planned for & looked forward to.
    A million different things could’ve gone wrong with that person, as someone said, he might’ve been married, lying to you, the wife found out, he got cold feet. Or maybe an unexpected emergency? and he didn’t want to take the time to explain? Who knows.
    But yes, it’s so discouraging when people waste another’s time.
    We don’t know what’s going on with strangers, I try to keep my expectations in check. 😔🤗

  • brownglucosebrownglucose
    edited December 2024

    The same happened to me recently on the pro side of things. The guy flaked on me and immediately deleted his account. The peculiar thing is this guy had already sent me a non refundable deposit for the session so I ended up drinking delicious cocktails at nobu on his dime.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    It's not you, I have discovered many will delete their account when they are afraid of being banned, even long-time members with double-digit karma.
    Why? Because they can easily start up a new account without worry since they weren't banned.
    You don't know what his other DMs were like, so this is probably a good thing for you overall. You don't need that kind of drama.
    ((Hugs!!))

  • pmvinespmvines

    I was just talking to a friend who was chatting with a guy, they exchanged numbers, were gonna get together a couple weeks ago, and same thing. Deleted account and never heard from him, my guess is was hoping for a sexy exchange and pics etc but didn't really wanna meet (which didn't happen hence the disappearing act)

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    My first thought is his partner found out he's been on here talking to people and lowered the boom.

  • SoosonSooson

    oh flaking again...
    Ok so as far as pros and dealing with pros: If there is no booking then there is no flaking. it's just CODB. Pros over time learn how detect the time wasters and direct their energy towards the more solid leads. Also, if a pro flakes on you, please make sure to take the time to leave a negative karma so CC can remove it 2 days later after the pro makes an excuse. One such karma was removed last week. Another one was just posted and will be removed shortly.

    regarding flaking in general, it happens everywhere all the time. Until you see the mental midget at the door assume there is no cuddle session. Also, some simply playing the numbers game and if hitting more than one target, having to choose only one. I wouldn't even put it past people to flake while on the way to see you because they just got a text from someone who they consider a better prospect. This place is a jungle, so if you find a good cuddle partner / pro / client, make an effort to keep them.

  • KatotaKatota

    I'm an enthusiast. Just a girl who loves her cuddles :-)

    😁🫂😁🫂😁

    Well, I am sorry that you were duped out of a possible cuddle. 😔🫂

    But it is GREAT to know that you EXIST HERE as an Enthusiast, like Me.😁👍

    Lol! 🤣

    Ya see, many here (on CC) believes that Enthusiasts (cuddlers who don't charge money for cuddles) clearly are "figments of one's imagination". 😄

    It's fabulous to see you are "real", just as I am!😄

    *Note, sarcasm throughout most of my comment here 😜😁

  • SoosonSooson

    Ya see, many here (on CC) believes that Enthusiasts (cuddlers who don't charge money for cuddles) clearly are "figments of one's imagination". 😄

    By that we refer to the 20 year old bisexual barbies whos preferred age range is 45-70. We love our REAL enthusiasts.

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    @Sooson

    This place is a jungle, so if you find a good cuddle partner / pro / client, make an effort to keep them.

    Hidden gem of a point, bears repeating!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited December 2024

    You're lucky they blocked beforehand rather than not turning up.

    Broadly speaking, there are two likely explanations. Firstly, this was their plan all along: there are people who do this kind of thing as a hobby because they get a kick out of inconveniencing or disappointing others.

    Secondly, and more likely, they are unable to regulate or manage their emotions. When it came to the moment of actually meeting, something about it was all too much for them. The most common reason for blocking is that in the instant the quickest and easiest way to suppress the unpleasant emotion is to block its source. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behaviour in anybody over the age of 21, but there is always a reason.

    Spouse or partner was on the point of finding out, as already mentioned, is also very much a possibility.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    @Sooson that dishonesty is an abuse of power. It happened, it's deserved. There's ALWAYS a "poor me" excuse.
    ``Also, if a pro flakes on you, please make sure to take the time to leave a negative karma so CC can remove it 2 days later after the pro makes an excuse. One such karma was removed last week. Another one was just posted and will be removed shortly.

    I have heard from several guys on this site who were told by mods that the pro would give them a discount on another session and when the guys weren't interested, the karma was taken down because the pro "tried to work with them." Not accepting bribery as a reason for removing karma is also an abuse of power. Guess some mods haven't heard, "first time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me." (I have read the communications.)

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    A discount afterward is not adequate. A person made time on a day that worked for them. I don't have the luxury of setting aside hours at your convenience. Mods, take note a discount on another cuddle is not working with someone, unless it works for them. People travel distance to do these things. They set aside time from loved ones, work and things they could be doing for themselves. I had the energy today. I had the courage today. I had the time today. $20 off does not equate to they tried to work things out therefore karma should remain. We cuddled and it was as expected or better is the correction and an edited karma should be the result.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    I have been told, repeatedly, that no one owes anyone else a reason for anything they do.

    @Roxanne72
    It sucks, but the simple truth is that everyone is selfish, scared, and stupid. It’s only a matter of degrees.

    If you walk in the rain, you will get wet.

    If you interact with people, you will get hurt.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    One of the terrible things about the keyboard warrior anonymity of the internet is people will say and do things, and behave in manners that they would normally not otherwise do in person and face-to-face.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @WestsideMarc - They behave how they really are while safety behind a keyboard because they know they would get their a$$ kicked if they tried that shit in real life.

  • brownglucosebrownglucose
    edited December 2024

    Here is some insight on why people cancel. Let’s give people the benefit of the doubt for a moment. . There are moments when a cuddler may sense something within their spirit—a hesitation, a concern, or even the weight of other responsibilities—that leads them to step back from a planned session. These decisions , albeit challenging, are a frequent and maybe necessary part of intimacy.

    For those who are conflict-avoidant, delivering this kind of news can be challenging. Even a simple “I changed my mind” can feel difficult to say. However, when it comes to consent + cuddling, Consent is not a static condition but a dynamic right that can be affirmed or withdrawn at any moment, for any reason. While we may hope for a session to happen,I sure as hell do, it’s essential to understand that no one is ever obligated to cuddle, no individual should ever feel bound by obligation to engage in a space that does not feel right. People are allowed to change their mind at any time, but they should definitely give as much notice as possible.
    For those who struggle with confrontation or delivering uncomfortable news, having a prepared response can be helpful. Ideally cancellation should be given with 12 hours notice.

    Here’s an example:

    “Hi [cuddler], after giving it some thought, I’ve decided not to move forward with our session. This decision isn’t a reflection of you personally, but it’s important that I allot my time towards other commitments..”

    Or a short and simple approach.

    “Hi [cuddler], I’ve decided not to proceed with our session at this time. Thank you for your understanding.”

    Or a more pro-friendly response.

    “Hi [cuddler], I wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to move forward with our session. As a practitioner, it’s important to me that I feel fully aligned with every booking, and this decision reflects my commitment to those principles.”

    Occasionally, people may inquire about the reason for a cancellation. It’s usually best to refrain from sharing details unless you’re comfortable engaging in further conversation.

    I understand your curiosity, but I’ve made my decision and prefer not to discuss it further.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Roxanne72
    I might be biased because I know you so am likely being a little more gentle with you when I say this,but @CharlesGrove is indeed correct in saying nobody owes us anything. You and I know it's their loss not yours, however can't get too upset when it doesn't pan out and it is likely for the best 🤗

  • RedFox16RedFox16

    @Roxanne72 I'm so sorry that happened to you. Having trouble finding women enthusiasts is one of the main concerns I see here, so it's really disheartening when I hear about things like this (and probably to other male enthusiasts who have trouble finding cuddle buddies) I'm so glad you're here, tho and looks like you've been here awhile....so that's awesome!!

    The guesses by others are probably on the nose....that's he was married / looking for seggs / a catfish / a troll / scared. So it's better he show you now. But still sucks he wasted your time 🫤

    Good luck for the future!! ❤️☺️😎

  • Roxanne72Roxanne72

    Thanks everyone! Just had to vent a little bit I guess. I don't usually do the forums very much. I did end up getting a cuddle in with someone I previously cuddled with so that was good :-) their loss. Just last night they made at a point to say they listen to my voice introduction thing on my profile and they liked my voice. I was a pro once, anyone that knows me knows this or that seen those forums. Tried coming back as a pro but I wasn't accepted so I still enjoy my cuddles and was okay coming back as an enthusiast. Most have been good experiences. Overtime I've had some that weren't but had 10 plus karma's for more and all were great of course. This person told me, "oh we just don't leave karma's if the cuddle wasn't good".

    Most have been decent experiences, waiting people out is easy most the time but some will get you. I'm always up and open for Chuck of those who are real/true.

  • Francisco108Francisco108

    Here's my take:

    Their partner found out and forced them to block and cancel due to a lack of communication and their (his or her) partner lack of understanding about platonic cuddling.

    Their (possibly controlling) parents found out and thinks cuddling is something more that platonic. They could even had a monitoring app their parents might have used to gain knowledge of what this person was doing, specially if this person has conditions such as autism, specially autism level 2 (requiring more support) and the person lives with their parents.

    I give my above mentioned reasons a lot more weight than other reasons such as cancelling for no real reasons. I don't think people generally behave like that intentionally, specially if you two were having high quality conversations and the person seemed to be a great and polite person before the all of a sudden blocking and account deletions took place.

  • brownglucosebrownglucose
    edited December 2024

    @Roxanne72 yay I’m glad you were able to squeeze in a cuddle w your regular.

  • lillycolelillycole

    I think a lot of times, people like the idea of cuddling with someone more than the actual reality. Like, if in the moment they sent that initial message they could just press a button and have the cuddler snuggling them in their bed I'm sure they would do it.

    But unfortunately that's not how the world works. In reality, you have to message back and forth, plan logistics, discuss boundaries, make travel arrangements, etc. And even then after all of that planning, you have to follow through with everything. So I can understand why a person who is maybe not the best communicator (which, let's face it, is a lot of us - communication is a much more difficult skill to master than most believe) would ghost rather than tell me they changed their mind once they get to the tedious parts of the cuddling process. I try not to take it personally

  • KuddleKinggKuddleKingg

    People flake a lot or delete their accounts

  • Roxanne72Roxanne72

    @brownglucose this is a second cuddle, wouldn't quite call it a regular yet! Time will tell.

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