NTA. I'd prefer a "no thank you" to the void myself. You were polite and positive towards them.
I recently enquired about a session with a pro. The pro told me that she could book sessions starting at 6pm. I asked if she could do 5pm by any chance. She replied and said yes but I had doctors appointments almost every day that week so I couldn’t book until the following week. I really don’t like to bother pros with unneeded messages so I didn’t reply, I figured I wouldn’t bug her until I was ready to book the following week. I enquired about a session with another pro who politely said she was out of town. Next thing I know I’m getting rude messages from the first pro saying she acccomodated me and I didn’t even reply and then I ask another pro about a session. It annoyed me that two pros were privately talking and sharing information about me. I politely explained I had doctors appointments and said I didn’t like to bother pros until I was ready to book. She then rudely replied and said that everything I was saying was ridiculous. I was like omg one flew over the cuckoos nest.
@Morpheus None of that is the heroic story that you seem to think it is.
You immediately pushed a boundary, get defensive when two people compare notes on you for safety (and profit likely, but it is a business…) and then call them crazy when they respond to you with rejection.
All of that is pretty awful.
If you are trying to be respectful, and safe, that approach needs work.
@Morpheus I understand your being annoyed. But they're not doctors or lawyers, there's no confidentiality mandate with cuddle pros. While I know some take keeping everything private very seriously, I think you have to assume they talk among themselves.
YTA You might think you’re being polite by not “bothering” the pro, but from her perspective, you came across impolite. She adjusted her availability to accommodate you, and then you ghosted without a simple acknowledgment. That’s frustrating for anyone who manages their time carefully.
A quick message like, “Thanks for accommodating 5 p.m., but I’m swamped this week with appointments. I’ll check back next week if I’m able to book” would have gone a long way to avoid this.
As for pros talking to each other, this is pretty normal in industries where trust and safety are paramount . They aren’t doing it to embarrass you—it’s about flagging patterns like non-communicative behavior, which might affect their business and also prevent a life threatening emergency,
Take this as a learning experience. A little courtesy goes a long way.
@CharlesGrove it was never my intention that my story sound heroic. How did I push a boundary? How do you know they were comparing notes for safety? To me it all sounded like a very childish lashing out because I spoke to another pro. It was very childish and unprofessional.
@WriterGF most pros get extremely annoyed if they find out that you’ve spoken to someone else about them. Apparently it doesn’t work the other way around.
@Morpheus Since you were already communicating, it would have been polite to send a note that you were unable to book this week but would book next week, instead of leaving them to wonder. By not wasting their time, you wasted their time.
Why wouldn't they share notes on time wasters?
@Morpheus When someone starts by telling you that they can’t book before 6:00 PM and you immediately ask for a 5:00 PM booking, what do you think you are doing, if not ignoring/pushing that boundary?
@IronLemon I still say they were being immature little girls. A mature professional wouldn’t have lashed out like that.
@Morpheus You already know that pros are only pros because they decided to charge. Maturity is not in any way implied. My guess is, in her eyes, you asked for special treatment, she agreed, and then you started trying to line something up with another pro. Why wouldn't she be pissed?
@Morpheus You would be better off thinking of the needs of others and not only your own. You might have lashed out quite a bit in your history here.
At OP, the message feels icky because it is icky. He should have just responded with good luck to you as well. any other response is a bad
There is no need to respond
I had a pro accuse me of being racist in the forims then blocked me before I was able to ask her about it. To this day I still wonder what I said.
@SweetlyBlissful NTAH. His response was immature and petty. Your instincts proved well.
@Morpheus Your communication with that pro was nothing more than interviewing her for a job. Her answer kept her in the running. It is neither a guarantee nor contractual. You do not need to explain yourself further. Her unprofessional behavior removed her from further consideration.
Multiple industries work outside of their posted hours and up-charge for the specific accommodation. Service businesses list their open hours but call and there is an after-hours number usually. Small businesses are more willing to work with customers when business is slower. They know it is smart business.
I think the problem is there's no real differentiation with pro requirements as any client/enthusiast for this site. There are rotten ones on both sides.
When asking more of clients, more should be asked of pros. I tend to respond more on profiles when the pro talks about what they can offer in the service, then what they ask of the client. In some ways there should be more screening on a pro to offer a quality service. Their personality should shine through in profile and communication.
Absolutely, possible clients should be screened for safety reasons. If I had a pro ask for additional info for ID purposes I'm happy to do what will make them feel secure, including prompt communication.
This is a business and I find quite a few don't treat it as such. Communication is key for both sides.