Have you ever discussed this with someone in real life?

rks19rks19
in General

Hey everyone!
Ive been using this platform since 4 years and it has been very helpful for my anxiety and panic attacks. So, Im very thankful for this community that it exists and creates a positive and nurturing environment.

I wanted to ask here if someone has discussed about this with any friends or family? How did it go? Everytime I feel like I want to share this with someone, I fear that I will be judged. I wanted to hear your experiences as both pros and non pros :)

Thank you!

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I shared it with a friend when I first joined. She immediately assumed the site was a cover for sex work and urged me to quit.

  • alz480alz480

    My advice is to keep this to yourself I’ve been in here for over two years and the only person who knows about this is my therapist as open minded your friends or family may be this might be a bridge too far for them

  • rks19rks19

    That is not surprising at all…
    Im scared to share it even with my therapist

  • alz480alz480

    Mind has been very understanding but I understand your concern

  • Lev136Lev136

    I do not tell anyone at all bECAUSE OF WHAT THEY MIGHT THINK,

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    I told my bff about it and she decided to become a pro.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    I suspect many men here don’t talk about it.

    There is a deep sense of underlying shame with a lot of us.

  • Mike403Mike403

    I wouldn't discuss this with a fish.

  • brownglucosebrownglucose

    I told my former therapist about cuddle comfort and she subsequently joined the site as a pro. 😆

  • AlexysDanyelleAlexysDanyelle
    edited January 2025

    I have discussed with close friends and open-minded family. I haven't gotten any negative feedback, because they know how I am 😂 - they're not surprised at all that I would do something like this. The most common response is not being able to understand how one would be able to be in such close proximity and it remains platonic. Although I have a couple of good girlfriends who would really benefit from the site, they have yet to join as they have shared they do not believe they would be able to keep it platonic.

  • HoosCuddlingHoosCuddling

    I have only discussed pro cuddling with my therapist and with two massage therapists. All of them reacted pretty positively to it. My therapist was especially supportive in the several months between the end of my marriage and when I was ready to try dating again.

  • HoosCuddlingHoosCuddling

    I have not discussed with family or friends -- largely because of the points made by other people in this thread, that they would confuse it with sex work.

  • LetsCuddle44LetsCuddle44

    I've asked people their thoughts on it, and the ones that were more receptive to the idea, I've told. My best friend is a pro, she told me how therapeutic it is, and convinced me to sign up.

  • Janelle19Janelle19

    A few girlfriends I have ended up joining the site

  • Allen1974Allen1974

    Don't ask dont tell.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    Yes. I use all my intuition in telling others. I got a stern warning from one friend and another reacted with total disgust. I've attracted several other people to the site and discovered one that was already here that I cuddle now.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    My kids know, and worry about safety. One brother and SIL know.
    But I tell other people that I’m not close to all the time. I told my apartment mgr because I she would see different men with me. Also for safety reasons. I love to shock people and then I explain it to them because they’re very curious.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    My whole family and all of my friends know. The majority were worried about my safety but they caught on quick.

  • Big_Green_23Big_Green_23

    Basically unless you’re a Pro there’s no reason to tell anyone. It’ll only get you judged, especially if you’re a man.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    If I'm meeting someone new -TRUST ME- "people" KNOW where to find me. I spent SEVERAL years online dating and I learned VERY quickly how to be safe. It also helps that a good friend of mine from high school is an ex wife of a cheating husband- I STILL say she should have become a private investigator! (and NO fellas- That's N-O-T a dare)!

  • CuddlyKoala47CuddlyKoala47

    I've shared it with many people openly... I try to advocate and educate folks that this kind of exchange and service exists so people can be more aware and lessen the social stigma and taboo of it.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Never

  • ThetaKittyThetaKitty

    I wish people were comfortable enough to talk openly about it. I understand the fear but I wish more people pushed past it.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay
    edited January 2025

    No one in my family but I have shared with close friends and my last couple of bosses. No one has been judgy just some have expressed fear for my safety. I assure them of my safety regime. I sometimes share it with the men I date but since I don’t date monogamously or seriously anyhow they haven’t had too much to say about it.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    Nope never
    Die with the lie.... well there is no lie but i doubt i would tell a soul. If i started to see people i knew or even a few degrees of separation I'd probably leave.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Have you ever discussed this with someone in real life?

    Yes. I have mentioned it to a family member and an acquaintance.

    How did it go?

    It was fine. One was curious, the other seemed indifferent.

    I fear that I will be judged.

    Don't paralyze yourself being afraid of other people's opinions. You are not responsible for their ignorance.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @TxTom 💯
    Confident and not ashamed.

  • LadyVelLadyVel
    edited January 2025

    Most of my inner circle of friends knows. We are all very open-minded so their biggest concern was whether or not I was being safe about it. One of them has been one of my safety contacts for years even before this when I was online dating so they were supportive in me getting my cuddle on as long as I was safe about it.

    Told a random vendor that I would probably never see again when I bought a tshirt with a gelatinous cube that said "wanna cuddle" that I was one and they had heard of professional cuddling before and they perked up intrigued.

    When it comes to others in my life, how I approach the subject (if I tell them at all) varies. Sometimes I'll pull up articles about professional cuddling and ask "Have you heard about this?"

    I talk about how it is heartbreaking there are so many people in the world who go day to day without even a gentle touch or a hug or even much social interaction. People that have lost family members, spouses, or friends. People who are estranged from their families. How a survey said that 83% of people feel touch starved.
    I mentioned how there were people who became professional cuddlers to help people. These cuddlers may sit with people on the couch (or bed) and talk or watch tv with them. Give them a hug, rub their back, hold, and cuddle them. I talked about how some companies had certifications and I had thought about getting a certification so I could help people too and then depending on reaction, I mention I already am one but looking to get that certification eventually.

    I didn't fully come out to my mom that I was already a cuddler though.
    My mom didn't have anything bad to say (but my mom doesn't always know what to say all the time). I know she could see I was passionate about it and she agreed that its heartbreaking there are so many people who are experiencing loneliness / touch starvation.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Yes I tell everybody. Most people are positive. Never had a negative experience although some folks say, "Not for me" which is fair enough.

    My elderly, conservative, lifelong Christian mother caught me in bed with a cuddler once. She just laughed.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @CuddleDuncan
    Love reading this!

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