If I were an enthusiast cuddler, I’d connect with female enthusiasts in the area to ask for recommendations on who’s considered safe to cuddle with. I probably wouldn’t risk my safety by engaging with someone who has a blank profile. As a professional, I’m also cautious about blank profiles, but on rare occasions, I’ll consider cuddling with them if their initial message includes a pic and comes across as polite.
A successful outcome is through patience, perseverance and social engagement. When I first joined, I was encouraged by a good-sized number of non pro women profiles here. I have observed that profiles are quickly abandoned or turn into pro. There are other avenues available to meet someone, this is not the only free cuddling option in the universe.
@Gwynne42 Wow! I've received some "interesting" messages, but none even close to THAT!! I've been in contact with a few other female enthusiasts from the message boards and exchanged stories and THERE'S A REASON women are more cautious than males. Maybe we should start a thread like that so these fellas can MAYBE understand, but at the same time- that'd be telling them how to fool us into getting into our presence.
There's a guy on here I talked to for over a year and he seemed really great until he sent me his photo. I couldn't find him online ANYWHERE else and the background looked like it was from somewhere overseas. After that, without me even mentioning the photo, his "tone" changed completely! I know someone who works for INS, so I talked to them about it, sent the photo and within a week, he was gone from this site and this person messaged me saying "good job" and that the matter had been taken care of. HUMAN TRAFFICKING I-S "a thing" fellas!! We're careful BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BE!!!
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
--Margaret Atwood
I’m not afraid of men. But I believe that quote is definitely true @pmvines
@pmvines - That quote is SPOT ON!!!
@brownglucose I'll vouch for TheFunCartel ALL-DAY-LONG!!! I was at a REALLY "rough" point in life when I met up with him and he remains in my top 3 ALL TIME favorites!!
Yeah, that's obviously not 100 percent the case however it is the case for enough of a percentage that folks should really take it into consideration when they complain about how nobody wants to spend time with them yet they make minimal effort, piss and moan and sometimes degrade on the forums about it, and can't seem to wrap their heads around why women are not skipping at the chance to meet strangers from the interwebs. Yet they don't really want to do anything to change, they just prefer to complain and have a pity party and be accommodated for their lack of efforts. It's a never ending cycle of spinning the wheels. And when people like myself and others on here express how they don't have problems at all with meeting people from the site and what they might be doing to shoot themselves in the feet, they get angry and amp up the pity party even more.
Remember that time I suggested straight men try cuddling other straight men? […] It highlighted how deeply ingrained certain behaviors are when it comes to physical touch and emotional connection between men. Interestingly, I think this […] mirrors how many straight women enthusiasts feel when they’re asked to cuddle random men from the internet. That same ick factor is there but for different reasons.
I dont feel that going outside of your boundaries and what you're personally comfortable doing is the answer to anything though. It's not that simple. But that is for another thread. Your body your choice your boundaries is paramount.
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@great_pillow08
A certain percentage of people learn awareness , empathy, compassion, and self control.
Most don’t.
And, in my experience most “good people” simply can’t understand the predators among us.
Predators eat, and they don’t care at all about the food’s feelings.
Communication + time = trust.
One inherent problem with this service (both the site and professional cuddling) is that it takes an intimate social act that evolved to develop relationships and strengthen trust, and tries to treat it like buying groceries, or getting a haircut.
So all the relationship building that normally happens, talking, spending time, developing trust, getting comfortable, suddenly doesn’t exist, and predators can (and do) take advantage of it.
And, of course, for professionals they want to be paid for their time, and that initial relationship building doesn’t pay, so it gets skipped, little warning bells get ignored, etc.
It’s complex, and I always recommend that everyone be very careful, and very open about why.
I completely understand why anyone would want to take a long time to get to know me, get comfortable with me. And I respect it, approve of it honestly, and I expect it.
Anyone that isn’t patient with your trust is telling you something very important.
@CharlesGrove Great point. I think that kind of relationship building pre-cuddle is more likely to happen enthusiast to enthusiast. Part of the reason people go for pros is they want a cuddle right now, with maybe no more than short public meet-up or a video call beforehand. Doesn't help that the site advertises itself as helping you find a cuddle buddy "today."
@brownglucose Everyone didn't lose their minds. Your original post title was purposefully inflammatory and people called you out on it. Some people did it respectfully, others didn't. You were invalidating then just as your comment is now.
I for one am all for men cuddling men. I think it's amazing that anyone can find anyone or any animal to cozy up to and feel better. I would support any man who wants to do that.
Some men, like me, have very serious reasons for not wanting to cuddle other men. Reasons that are not 'almost comical'.
Do you think the reasons women don't want to cuddle random men are comical? I'm guessing you don't.
Also I don't agree with many of the replies you did get. I am against disrespect coming from either side.
For the record, I don't blame women for being very very careful in picking out men to cuddle with. Safety first. There are more than enough horrible men out there to ruin it for all of us. I have always encouraged women to do what is right for them in this regard. And I have applauded more than a few women here and in real life for doing the same.
That doesn't mean that I don't have compassion for the good guys out there who are struggling. The struggle is real for both sides and invalidating others' experience only pushes people further apart.
No, I do not. There are only 2 members in my city. One seems to be ghosting me as they are online but don’t respond to me. The other has been inactive for months.
Oh, good, we had gone almost five minutes without a fight.
@great_pillow08 It sounds like TheFunCartel really made a difference for you, and I’m glad you had that experience! Thanks for sharing your thoughts—your endorsement speaks volumes 🫂 silently adds TheFunCartel to list of safe cuddle enthusiasts
@WriterGF
I have to assume you are talking about my posts.
Disagreements aren't always fights. I have been respectful.
@billiam Are you going to change her mind/behavior? Is she going to change yours?
The poll speaks for itself.
@WriterGF Ask her. She brought it up.
I'm not trying to change anything about her. She misrepresented a conversation I was a part of. She misrepresented a good number of people who took part in that conversation. I merely set the record straight That was my interest here.
I did point out that she is invalidating. So I guess I had 2 interests. I believe there is a lot of invalidation going on in this forum. I feel it's harmful.
When I joined CC in 2016, it was possible to message with local female enthusiasts and maybe meet up. Over the years, I have met a couple IRL friends on CC who I still keep in touch with. Nowadays, though, meeting a new non-pro local female friend on CC seems unlikely.
In real life, I go to Cuddle Parties sometimes, and my local polyam community organizes potlucks and movie cuddle nights. Even there I don't necessarily meet new people to cuddle with all the time, but I do cuddle a fair amount. And I still see pros.
@WriterGF Maybe you're right.
I need to figure out why I keep reading these threads. I came for cuddles, not invalidation and fights.
Or maybe not figure out, maybe just stop reading threads here. So many of the kind, warm, cuddly posters have already done the same.
I haven’t had trouble finding non pro cuddlers, though most of them don’t feel the need to be on cuddlecomfort - they can get the cuddles they need from the circle of friends they already have. For the few enthusiast women who I have cuddled on cuddle comfort, I knew each and every one of them outside of cuddle comfort first.
@RadiantHugs Just curious, but did you introduce those female enthusiasts to Cuddle Comfort? I think what sets your experience apart from the people posting here is that you have cultivated relationships with women offline. I suspect that many of the posters who struggle to talk to women on CC also aren’t part of communities with women offline, which contributes to the disconnect. We don’t all bite!
@brownglucose yes, I did share the platform with them, and some of them chose to join as pros - since it is a stream of income they needed. But many also see the risk of cuddling with strangers to be just too much for them. Heck, most of them wouldn’t cuddle with me (or anyone else, rather) unless we had already met a few times, they knew who I was and were comfortable with how I interacted with other shared friends - so the idea of someone just showing up with the intent of sharing cuddles with them is just too far out there for them to entertain it - even if they got paid for doing so.
I find this topic kind of interesting. I was here back in September. Back then, I had tons of responses i couldn't really even filter through at a reasonable rate. Then, the first few people i hosted; were meh encounters at best. I did meet 2 people who were really nice who i enjoyed spending time with and met multiple times. I've never applied to be a pro or ever discussed money... except... there was ONE PERSON.. who randomly had offered me money to make time for them the next day.. which i deactivated my profile literally like the next day. that was the straw that pushed me just a little too far at the time. I didn't see anyone all of december. I think for whatever reason; both of the previous 2 people ran their course. then i was also busy.
now; I been back one day this week; and already, there was one person... we're discussing back and forth and then was sent a selfie then randomly blocked. xD I was like. wait what just happened?? XD Idk. maybe they didn't like my writing style? maybe i came across as not legitimate?
I'm just mostly sharing experiences, but in a final note. When i reactivated yesterday, and i was going to purge my inbox and see if anyone who reached out were still active. I happened to notice that several fo the people who were being gross had been banned or self deleted anyways.
Now, I'm back, and most of the people being cringe aren't here anymore. In just one day, I'm already having a much more positive experience. For the record, i'm not a pro, I haven't applied to be one, and I haven't talked to anyone about money. I just made an elaborate profile because i'm extra. i'm always extra. i'm a virgo who always overdoes everything XD
Happy cuddling. Also, for what it's worth; I do feel like the experiences from here have helped me have measures of personal growth as well. Maybe it's just your area!
Yes, I do find it relatively easy. For me, the sense of connection from cuddling tends to linger; if I cuddle regularly with someone for six months, I can often go another six months without needing that experience again if circumstances change.
I’m also fortunate to live in a place where affordable massage is accessible, which might make paying for cuddling feel unnecessary. The vibrant massage community here makes paying for touch seem unfamiliar to me. However, I understand why some prefer the simplicity of paid arrangements — it’s like dining out. I love having meals prepared for me because cooking feels like work after a long day. Paying for that convenience makes sense.
My relationship expectations also align with finding cuddling opportunities. I usually enjoy building a strong connection over time before cuddling, focusing on mutual understanding without pressure. However, there have been times when cuddling happened right away. That usually happens with people who have been at it a while.
Investing in cuddle workshops has been helpful — in a way, I suppose you could say I’ve paid for cuddles through those experiences. These workshops have taught me how to approach step-by-step interactions thoughtfully, making casual cuddling more accessible and comfortable, especially for those who are new to it or unsure whether it's right for them.