Going "off site"

cozysoxcozysox
edited January 2025 in General

I keep reading in the forums that going off site early is a red flag. I understand that, but I also legitimately much prefer and video or phone call for my vetting process. It takes a fraction of the time for me to know if I should continue to work with someone.
[edit] I always book through the site, though

Comments

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)
    edited January 2025

    It is tough, because text has no tone. And, especially in the age of AI, chat is so easy to “fake”.

    I agree that voice is best, or even Discord. And if security is an issue, make an account on Discord and the attached email, that is only used for vetting.

    But, I feel that way because I am not too worried about my personal safety being threatened, and I have fat thumbs and a very, very nervous spellchecker…

    Booking on site for professionals is the minimum standard, and I think you certainly want the first few conversations to happen via the site, simply for safety reasons. And, you know, the whole TOS thing…

  • JubalJubal

    It can be a red flag, but is not necessarily one on it's own. Best illustration I can think of is the difference between insisting on communicating off site vs asking "would you like to talk/videochat?" but still messaging on here too

  • cozysoxcozysox

    @CharlesGrove thank you for your thought out response. I really do prefer voice.

    I agree booking via site is bare minimum which is why I had to edit and add it because it was so obvious to me I forgot to mention it.

    @Jubal fair. I ask if they want to go offsite but happily keep communicating here.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Always trust your gut.

  • cozysoxcozysox

    @TxTom always sound advice

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    A lot of pros do video or phone calls prior to meeting. It's been both advised and encouraged on here. What the site doesn't want is stuff like handing out your phone number when there's been no booking.

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    This is how I've found is the most straightforward thing to do. Chat and book on site, if I need extra vetting prior to the session, then a talk or video chat is a good introduction. When someone says here's my number or tries to get mine without actually booking a session, it's revealing that they don't take the CC terms seriously. Also, get a separate phone number like google voice app. Good luck.

  • SquishyJackieSquishyJackie

    @cozysox I heard what you're saying and for a while I would talk on the phone after only a couple messages because my time is valuable and you can learn so much more so quickly. But then I didn't listen to my gut or was surprised by negative encounters and it makes it so hard to report...and I think guys don't always take you seriously when you're willing to talk offsite. So I get it. The struggle is real.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I don't agree it's necessarily a red flag, sometimes it's just easier to communicate. Now obviously if it's a pro that's an issue, but trying to arrange something with a person or have a conversation proves cumbersome and difficult for me on the site, so i will talk off site. Im probably not going to WhatsApp, kik, or one of those others things but if i get the notion a person is real ill text. I have made connections through text that didnt go the wrong way, but thats happened as well.

  • BrionCBrionC

    Use a free voice app after you book a session. Never meet until you have a conversation as pat of the post booking process

  • brownglucosebrownglucose

    I wish the website had built voice and videocall integration. Then I would never have a need to go off site lol

  • ChrissyNoirChrissyNoir

    I never go off site . I did before .. conversations go left .. no thank you … lol

  • penguin34penguin34

    I have no problem taking communication off-site, it's just easier to send voice notes and chat over WhatsApp for a few days to get a "vibe". If I feel uncomfortable I simply cancel the booking, and block the person from my phone. I am not sure what all the fuss is about TBH ? 🤷

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I use a Google voice number but there’s no video available unfortunately.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited January 2025

    You would need to go off-site for screening calls. Keeping the convo on-site for everything else will def make it easier if someone needs to be reported. There are also time-wasters that try to get your contact info with no intention of actually booking. Pros will go off-site to avoid the fee, and clients will try to get pros to book off-site so they can push boundaries with less fear of getting reported.

  • hugsnotbugs98hugsnotbugs98

    Don't you get banned for going off-site if you haven't booked on this site first? A remarkable amount of cuddlers have been banned recently :(

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I don’t think going off site in and of itself is a red flag, things that are said and done can be red flags. I’ve never had a cuddle insist on staying on site. It’s the exact opposite. Once a session is booked, numbers quickly exchanged and everything goes off site. This is my experience.

  • ChrissyNoirChrissyNoir

    Your absolutely correct @CharlieBear ❤️💞💞

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles
    edited January 2025

    Exchanging off-site contact info isn't inherently the red flag. The timing is...

    • People who open with, "Hey, would love to cuddle, here's my number", for instance.

    • People who insist on switching to an app after just a few short messages.

    • Pro's who give out their contact info without booking on-site.

    • Etc.

    I have tons of friends from here on various other platforms...but I don't hand that info out to new people, or just anyone. I need to build a rapport and friendship, first.

    As for the site not being good enough for back and forth chat...try writing e-mail-style, youngin's! 😅 Something longer than, "Sup", "What you doin' tonight", and, "How r u". 🤦🏻‍♀️

    If you are trying to contact a person for a cuddle happening within minutes, you can adjust your notification settings to allow pop-ups from this site when you receive a PM. It's got perhaps a one-minute lag time, but that's not that big a deal.

    But to get back to @cozysox, as a Pro, you can simply set up a Zoom call or etc. to screen a prospective client, and then return to on-site communication.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

  • [Deleted User]cuddlesformestl (deleted user)

    I have had a member send a what's app request and their account was banned shortly after.

  • [Deleted User]FreeMindCuddles (deleted user)

    I’d say always keep it in a professional tone if you go off site. And when meeting at a location for in person cuddles make sure they send their information through the chat on here versus offline that way everything is there for your safety and for the record if need be.

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    Always go off-site once a booking is made. Makes communication instantaneous. People aren't always logged into the site, the delay can mess things up.

  • MrPaulMrPaul

    I start with texting, and ultimately I have a video chat before meeting anyone. If someone doesn’t want to do a video call, I will suggest voice calling first. If they won’t ever have a video call that’s a red flag for me - probably a catfish.

    Unfortunately this website doesn’t have any video option, so I go with whatever the other person is comfortable with.

  • cozysoxcozysox

    @MrPaul I like a brief video call. I try to keep it 3-5minutes just to verify realness. I won't lie, sometimes it turns into 15minutes. I don't let it go longer than that though.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Sounds like going rogue

  • SoosonSooson

    So I recently cancelled a session with a pro who tried to charge me $15.00 for a video call after we booked a session. I just wanted to talk after we shared personal info and that is when she introduced the option. after telling her I don't need a video call I just wanted to have a quick phone conversation, she responded with a full-page size text message explaining why she charges for that too. By the time she typed all that we could have had the conversation already. The greed is sometimes unreal.

    Next in line please.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    she responded with a full-page size text message explaining why she charges for that too.

    I understand a pro wanting to be safe, but if they are going to charge for basic vetting then to me that is a red flag as to why she is really on the site. There are pros who care and there are those to whom clients are nothing more than a dollar sign. Essentially the pro comparison version of some clients truly want a connection while others only see a body to use.

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