Cuddling body types for anxiety reduction

OberonWakeOberonWake
in General

Still very new to this, haven't taken the plunge yet... But I wanted to get a general consensus from those that partake in cuddling... At the end of the day i'm sure it's just a matter of preference. I wanted to ask about body types for cuddling. Do most of the men or women or others prefer a curvier or slimmer partner or therapist for cuddling? I can think of benefits of both...the former offers larger presence and security... Yet the slimmer individual can be held and offer an absorption of anxiety.... like a sponge... with my AUDHD.... I have not decided which type of individual would be suitable but I suppose I will have to try for myself... I've naturally been inclined towards slimmer types....I suppose its a matter of preference and understanding. It's not just anxiety it's a below the surface...anguish... a longing to be held without judgment. I can imagine it now. That first hug that lasts for an inordinate amount of time. I almost feel like years of emotions will surge forth and I'll probably be in tears... but feel protected. Cuddling is definitely what I am famished for. Thanks for being a great community of supportive people. Being in medicine, I'm the care provider... but I am at a point I need this soon...

Comments

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    I’d come at this from a different perspective. If cuddling offers relief from anxiety it is because you’re cuddling with someone safe, respectful, encouraging, etc. These are qualities of character and connection. That person is the key, not their form.

    I have experienced comfort with thick and thin; those were details. The person is what made it great.

  • SquishyJackieSquishyJackie

    My boyfriends, for whatever reason, tended to be thin. I could fit my arms around them and they could get their arms around me better, but that doesn't mean we fit together well for cuddling. Sometimes they were just too bony. The bigger guys I dated couldn't get their arms all the way around me, but for some positions were the best at cuddling with. I think personal preference and position are both factors, but I agree with lovingspoonful, the person's attitude have more to do with a successful cuddle than anything else.

    On a side note, what is AUDHD?

  • SadButRad89SadButRad89

    @SquishyJackie AuDHD is the abbreviation some people with both autism and ADHD use to describe their neurology.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    The people we cuddle are actual humans. Not to be used as objects to satisfy you. Not sponges or certain shapes of pillows. Not objects to be used at all IMO. Maybe it’s just me but your post feels awful.

  • ThetaKittyThetaKitty

    I agree. And he probably deserves grace in order to understand that we are not objects but are souls looking to connect. You can only do what you know 🫶🏻

  • CuddlesofcuddleCuddlesofcuddle

    @lovingspoonfull has a great response
    I'm sure when you're ready to have your session, it'll be with a person that provides you that safe space no matter what their physique is like.

  • fluffycomfort2fluffycomfort2

    I agree with the responses but I don’t think he meant any harm or it was taken out of context by the poster and this is coming from a larger lady

  • SerenityMomentsSerenityMoments

    @g_w_t_w AuDHD, can come across like that sometimes. But most of the time are the most genuine people you will ever meet, so lets indeed give him some grace like @ThetaKitty said. But at the same time educate him, so that next time the wording of his approach will be better.🤗

  • pmvinespmvines

    It's the person I connect with, not their body

  • MistressCuddleMistressCuddle

    It is about the connection when you set up the session, I'm bigger and I can soothe someone and also be held. I'm soft and strong. It's being able to offer what another human is lacking. Good luck

  • btc13btc13

    @g_w_t_w He was describing how he would anticipate feeling from his side. That is he was to hold someone that it may feel to him as though the anxiety was being drawn out of him, not that the cuddler would be assuming all of that anxiety for themselves. It also seems that he is trying to work out whether it will be more beneficial for him to hold someone or be held by someone and determine body shape based on that, to find the most effective way of using human connection to manage his anxiety, not that the cuddler is just a pillow. Please try and think through the essence of someone's post before assuming something negative.

    @OberonWake If my interpretation of your post is correct, you can be cuddled in a variety of ways by most body types, either holding you or being held by you, including you both holding each other simultaneously. As others have said, the degree of compatibility of your personalities is generally more key in having the best cuddle experience.

  • JackNJJackNJ

    If it be with someone to cuddle with, or in a relationship I’m more about the persons personality rather than looks, height and/or weight. I want and need some sort of connection in order to cuddle. There are good things when it comes to cuddling with anyone regardless of their size. For me, I just love the softness of a female laying against me. I once cuddled with someone that we had no connection on a mental level in anyway so it was somewhat awkward. There has been people I have cuddled with, and we got along great on every level mentally and physically. For me, I do like a woman with something to her when it comes to cuddling. It makes for good comfort on a nice chilly day being with one another. I have cuddled with someone one time, and I felt like her bones were digging into me. I have cuddled with tall women, which one was even taller than me, and I’m 6‘1“ which allowed both of us to be very comfortable and then I have cuddled with very short women as short as 4‘9“ and she said she liked cuddling with me as it allowed her to hide from the world under me and felt safe cuddling underneath me under a blanket. Everybody has preferences and likes. I feel I’m just open more on my preferences then maybe others are.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Personally, my comfort is far more predicated on consent, smell, sound of voice, kindness, calmness, and compassion.

    Basically everyone is smaller than I am, so I have to be very cautious during any physical interaction, including cuddling.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited January 2025

    I have a fair bit of cuddling experience now.

    1) Body shape doesn't matter. There are a dozen things more important than that even before you get into travel arrangements and matching up diaries. Note that a professional heavyweight boxer, basketball player or sumo wrestler can all cuddle babies with perfect satisfaction to both parties.

    2) It's fine to have preferences (not prejudices) either in general or in particular circumstances.

    For example sometimes you may wish for somebody bigger than you, or shorter, or whatever it is. Other times you may wish for the opposite.

    Other things being equal - which of course the never are - I would pick a stick insect over a bean bag. But I'd much, much rather cuddle with a bean bag than nobody. And yes I have cuddled very happily and repeatedly with several people of each of these. It's just a question of positions.

  • friendlyj311friendlyj311

    I feel it's the person's personality that's most important... not the size at all. 🤗

  • MindTherapyMindTherapy
    edited January 2025

    I think of it as cuddling energy vs a physical form. I have had wonderful encounters with people from all different walks of life. While I have preference as far as dating and things that are non platonic, I do not for cuddling. Generally I gravitate towards those that are older and more paternal which has nothing to do with them physically but mores how they make me feel.

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