I'm at a loss

WakefulMountainWakefulMountain
edited January 2025 in General

Where can you cuddle someone if you can't go to each other's place, you don't want to pay for somewhere to stay or in general (since something so simple should be free), and you can't go to the park because it's in the middle of winter?

I'm at a loss. I really don't know where. I'm in southeast Michigan. I know in Japan they have cuddle centers or something like that but we are not in Japan. Where can we lay down to cuddle and not just sit up?

For the life of me, I just can't think of anywhere. My potential cuddle partner did say he has a minivan but that's too sketchy and that wouldn't be comforting or therapeutic for any of us. We want somewhere warm and cozy that we don't have to pay for. Does anyone have any ideas?

Thank you.

Note: we are willing to pay if it comes to that but if you have any suggestions where we don't have to, that will be so appreciated.

Update: We ended up cancelling. It would be too awkward for our first time cuddling and him being married. I may actually delete my account as it's awkward in general to cuddle strangers. I'm not sure yet... The ultimate goal is to get there therapeutic benefits of cuddling, since I am not used to it. Starting out seems so stressful though. 😮‍💨

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    You're really giving yourself a very narrow list of options . First off there's a difference between don't want to and can't . Think about what you could do but just don't want to, and then decide if your desire to get together to cuddle out weighs your lack of desire to do the thing you don't want to do (such as getting a room)

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    So neither one of you can host? That pretty much limits you to public cuddling or a hotel. Maybe do a cuddle at the movies.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I get that you probably feel frustrated because you can’t work out a solution for a cuddling location but I’m also curious about what your plan was when you signed up. Possibly hoping that whoever you connected with would be able to host?
    Finding a safe cuddle buddy requires time and attention to detail, flexibility, careful screening, having a plan before you start looking. And most of all be very clear on your boundaries & how to keep yourself safe!
    Hope something will work out for you.

    **Also check out Dayuse.com which has hotel rooms for daytime booking at a lower rate.

  • CuddlePro_CuddlePro_

    As a pro that does not host, when people who also do not host reach out to me I do my best to be accommodating. For your type of scenario, the client may have to pay for a hotel room upfront. If the cost is a barrier for them, I keep them in mind for later. If my schedule permits I’ll book a hotel room for a day that I can confirm multiple clients for and then just charge each of them a fraction of the price to cover the room. Give your host the money for the room upfront when booking in addition to any hosting deposit if applicable. I personally don’t accept many clients, so we would have to make do with virtual or a public setting in the meantime.

  • SquishyJackieSquishyJackie

    I agree with pmvines and WriterGF. I get not wanting to, but you can find hotels for like $65 or $85, so split between 2 people I really think that's your best bet. Otherwise:

    1. Is there a friend or co-worker that would allow you to use their voucher or spare room?

    2. Do you trust him enough to try cuddling on an air mattress in the back of a van or SUV? Then you just need to worry about a heat source.

    3. Movie theatres are good, especially if they have those large recliner sofa things.

    4. What about a couch in a coffee shop?

    I really got nothing else. Good luck!

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited January 2025

    I mean , you can always go to a new home development and lay down a blanket in a home under construction, or find a foreclosed home to squat in...

  • pmvinespmvines

    And if you go to a larger more upscalish hotel with a large lobby and bar etc there will usually be lots of seating areas scattered around just don't draw too much attention to yourself and staff will leave you alone. Also coffee shops sometimes have sofas, clubs and entertainment venues have booths. If you don't mind a hike you can always go on a trail and find a vacant area or one of those little hikers cabins that are out there for people who need to shelter down

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited January 2025

    Malls or movie theaters can work. Book store or cafe too.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Biggest thing about public cuddling is just don't make it weird. If you want the public to not think of cuddling as something weird and awkward, then don't make them feel weird and awkward. There is still public decorum and all that jazz

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Go to a mattress store. Play musical mattress every ten minutes.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Has anyone read the OPs profile? I think she’s facing bigger issues than finding a place to cuddle.

  • AchterbahnAchterbahn

    @Morpheus I don't really see too many issues with her profile. If we were worried about people who were awkward around others and nervous to meet people, that would probably cut out half of the people on this site. She just may be a little more upfront about it than others.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    There are apps with much cheaper prices for hotels for shorter periods of time and use during odd hours … not free but if you have to get a room it’s a nice discount
    Dayuse
    Daybreakhotel
    Resortpass

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Foyer of an arts centre

    Cosy booth in a suitable bar or restaurant

    Back row of the bus

    Go on a recce of public buildings like museums, galleries, hospitals, and explore them really thoroughly. Anywhere that has people and might have seats. Just occasionally you find a secret corner that would be perfect.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    Please keep it public cuddling until you feel confident enough with your safety. The best Metro Detroit has to offer now are cuddle couches at some movie theaters, like Emagine.
    Don't try cuddling on the bus, it can be dangerous.
    Don't try cuddling in hotel lobbies in Detroit, they will most likely kick you out or even call the police. They are private property.
    Museums are full of kid field trips, so overdoing the PDA will get you a visit from a security officer.

  • roni56roni56

    You can't host, don't want to pay for public meet, don't want to get in back of a van, etc. I mean what are you expecting people to say, invite you guys home and give a room ? Only option I can think is Gardner White or any Mattress store but it will take some innovation to push it for an hour.

  • Janelle19Janelle19

    After grabbing some ice cream, I've done a public cuddle in a covered parking garage to avoid the heat in Arizona. That's another possibility

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited January 2025

    IKEA is the best place to go as the people there would rather not interact with customers.

    And I like Swedish meatballs.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Believe it or not thrift stores with all the sofas etc are not bad places for some light cuddles and interactions. The really large ones with rows upon rows of sofas

  • WakefulMountainWakefulMountain
    edited January 2025

    Thank you all. We have decided to pay for hourly hotels.

  • Janelle19Janelle19

    Dayuse is a very nice way to go as well

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    Where are these cuddle centers in Japan you speak of? I made an earlier post about this but it seems like they’re relatively hard to find, at least for foreigners.

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    Plan your cuddle forecast.
    There are already great suggestions on here!

    Dayuse - remember incidental fees apply here too

    Focusing on the negative transaction parts of life is going to always disappoint and depress the process.

    Recently had a cuddle cruise 🚢 and loved it. We drank warm tea, toured the area, and got to cuddle.

    Groupon and saving websites have activities, indoors or out that would focus more on companionship and not necessarily touch therapy cuddling. You can always get a few hugs 🤗 and holds.

    It’s winter ❄️ here and chilly out but timing, activity and trust would be elements to consider.

    Join a Meetup type or local group. Go on a few events they offer which are mostly free.
    Here in CA celestial events are a wonderful cuddle activity, typically hosted free or small cost.

    Your cuddle buddy would need to be comfortable too. Most are in group settings.

    It takes time to build and maintain your cuddle journey on here.

    Be safe and cuddle 🤗 at your pace.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited January 2025

    If the weather is cold and bothersome, bundle yourselves up and walk while holding hands or arm and arm linked...I mean just moving around (while being snuggled up together🫂) will likely warm yourselves up! 😁

    If it gets too cold, you can always stop at a coffee shop for a hot/warm beverage to chitchat and socialize over.☕🥐😁

    Good luck!👍

  • WakefulMountainWakefulMountain

    Update: we ended up cancelling 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • WakefulMountainWakefulMountain
    edited January 2025

    Thank you @SunshineHug

    I am second guessing this whole cuddle journey. I'm trying not to freakout so much 😖

  • Vintage_EmbraceVintage_Embrace

    @WakefulMountain Trust in yourself. Review the FAQs threads here. Many have links 🔗 to outside education and awareness.

    Look for a cuddle party or just a meet up group to join and become comfortable again with social immersions on your own comfort level.

    Volunteering —-at animal shelters or nursing homes can help with anxieties.

    Look at your health insurance to see if online or in person therapies are covered. Sleep tanks and red light therapies can help too.

    I believe this time of year more people are affected by a seasonal affective disorders. Many healthcare coverages will cover/pay for some of these therapies. A light device that you can use during the winter or year round.

    Look into your healthcare and programs can provide some of the healing process that is at your own pace.

    Hugs 🤗 and therapies.

  • WakefulMountainWakefulMountain

    @SunshineHug

    Yep, I started to research cuddle parties. Maybe that would be a good start. As for therapies. I already go to a facility and the type of therapy they offer doesn't help. I do have cats for that reason but there's only so much cuddling cats can do. This is why I joined this site; to get used to platonic human intimacy. I believe cuddle therapy would help but I am uncomfortable with so many men being in relationships that want to cuddle. It just seems wrong to me to be a part of that.

    I never looked into sleep tanks. I have heard of red light therapy but I never looked into it deeply. I don't suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I prefer this over being hot in summer. You can bundle up as much as you want, but you can't take off your skin when you're too hot. 🤣

    I've also signed up for an activity center local to me. So, I plan on working out which will help with my mental health. The goal here is to get used to deep human connection from a male specifically, since I'm just not used to that kindness.

  • roni56roni56
    edited January 2025

    Nex time try booking Uhaul for an hour (under 20$), find someone who wants to dispose their mattress in marketplace. Throw the mattress and cuddler in Uhaul and find a safe and deserted parking spot.

  • WakefulMountainWakefulMountain

    @Morpheus Don't do that. Your judgment isn't needed.

    @Achterbahn You are correct. I tend to be direct with no shame. Thank you!

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