Yes I've caught feels for a couple of my pros, but I think it's mainly serotonin/dopamine feels. But 1 cuddler we did both catch the real feels but sadly she ended up getting back with her partner before anything could come of them.
Not to dis anyone here who ever caught feelings or who is vulnerable to that to say everyone is dangerous but catching feelings can develope into an obsession and not everyone is mentally stable. The point is that this is another reason a woman should not host in a single-family residence (unless she met the person few times and got to know them and trust them).
I am mentioning this due to an experience a pro recently shared with me.
I think this topic is somewhat related to touch starvation which is discussed now in another thread.
@Quiet_Cuddlez thanks for the shout out yeah that’s exactly how I feel.
There is definitely a thin line to traverse here. I ONLY cuddle with people with whom I share some type of connection, so I don't cuddle that regularly. That said, I am not looking for a boyfriend or partner, esp when it wouldn't make logistical sense (ie, we live in different states), and I am pretty clear about this. However, I've had multiple clients try to get out of paying because of this covert connection factor, even when months pass with minimal or no exchanges. That feels like manipulation and gaslighting to me, when I am up front about stating the obvious: I am getting paid as a Pro; I am not your girlfriend. Lol, we Met on a pro cuddling platform! This isn't to say that people could never meet their match here, or anywhere for that matter, but there is a clear exchange to be followed on this site & the stripper isn't in love with you either! 😬🤭😘
@Curvynaps so true and me too lol, although they are all still very skeptical and prolly will never venture over to the cuddle side.
As a pro I think we have a responsibility to end things with a client if they express they want some type of romantic relationship. I’ve had a couple clients open up to me that they had strong feelings and wondered if I’d entertain dating them. And in both instances I kindly and respectfully expressed that I was not looking for that. And then I told them each that I thought it would be best for them to look for a new cuddler. Sure I could have kept them as an regular and continued to make my money … But for me that morally didn’t feel right. I’m not trying to hurt someone. And as @Sooson pointed out … It could turn dangerous. I’m not suggesting these 2 clients showed me in any particular way that they might become dangerous.. But honestly anyone can. I’ve also had a client tell me his pro cuddler before me had turned into a relationship pretty much after the first cuddle session, and how he was heart broken over it ending. I listened and inquired how long had they dated for … he expressed just over a week. 😳 🚩
Just be careful ladies … they’ve expressed they have feelings they don’t just go away because you say you’re only interested in keeping it professional.
@friendlyj311 - LOL... I also attend cuddle parties and they play a lot of consent games. And when I share the rules and the consent games, it seems to have made some of my normie friends comfortable. I think all that they will really be comfortable is touching shoulders on a bed or sofa, which is fine w me, still creates co-regulation. I'm an enthusiast and not a pro so I think that makes it more accessible for them too. Bc I'm not "trained."
@Curvynaps that's pretty cool. I've never been to any. But I'd love to attend and see what they are all about. Surely that sounds like it would help out alot.
@SweetSweetJane that stripper comment made me laugh out loud..
You basically answered your own question, but yeah, I'd stop cuddling with that person. It's essentially the friend zone, which is unfortunately a position I've been in more times than I'd like to admit. Nothing good comes from it. If you're the one with feelings, you're only hurting yourself by sticking around. If you're the one that doesn't have feelings, you're only hurting the other person by not stepping away. Dangling what they want (which is you) in front of them, but never actually giving it to them.
If you are hiring cuddle pros you should have the emotional maturity to realize it is a professional client based service. They aren't looking for dates and neither should you.
If you're the one that doesn't have feelings, you're only hurting the other person by not stepping away. Dangling what they want (which is you) in front of them, but never actually giving it to them.
I disagree to an extent. I think they should step away for their safety, but if they have no safety qualms, then they shouldn’t. It is not their fault that some people lack the emotional maturity to accept the terms of a platonic agreement. In addition, the idea that they are “dangling” themselves “but never actually giving it to them” is brimming with entitlement and non-platonic undertones.
@TheFunCartel We'll have to disagree on this one - basic ethics would say that if you're hurting someone, you should stop.
@cde123 I will disagree because this is a matter of perspective. You are hurting the pro for bringing in your emotional baggage to a platonic situation. I view it as self-inflicted hurt and it is fully on the person with the feelings to self-correct. The pro is not being cruel if they are willing to see them again.
Saying the pro or enthusiast who is the focus of the other’s feelings is being cruel for seeing them again is a classic case of projection. Similar to someone making crude remarks about a woman wearing a short skirt and claiming she had it coming for wearing the skirt.
@TheFunCartel Well, as someone who's had pros develop feelings for me, I'm sorry but I'm going to consider the best interests of others in my decision making process, not just what is convenient for me. It should be obvious that getting with a woman you don't have feelings for is going to leave her messed up, and I want no part of that.
not just what is convenient for me.
@cde123 wow. I never said anything about convenience and I said I would recommend someone break it off for safety’s sake. So please stop the jabs. But I do work under the premise that everyone here is an adult and is somewhat capable of mitigation. There is no great act of empathy in cutting it off if someone develops feelings. What if they self-harm? Worse yet, what if they become angry and hunt you down? Either way is fraught with unwelcome possibilities and neither choice of to end or not to end is “noble”. It depends on the person and the context.
Again, the perpetrator is the person who can’t control their emotions. A few people have mentioned they have developed feelings but kept them to themselves. So someone who can’t keep their feelings under wraps is the person who needs introspection and work. And seeing them again may be seen as cruelty in one context and ending it can be seen as cruelty in another. I have done both but the scenarios are entirely different. I had a pro develop feelings 3-4 years ago and we still see each other without any problems. She admitted she should have kept it to herself and there have been no issues since. The one I cut off gave me stalker vibes.
There is definitely a thin line to traverse here. I ONLY cuddle with people with whom I share some type of connection, so I don't cuddle that regularly.
I'm similar to @SweetSweetJane on this one. I won't cuddle with a pro for a SECOND time if we didn't make some kind of decent connection the first time -- in other words, if I didn't catch some sort of feelings for them. I'm certainly not talking about a love connection here. But if I don't like them, if I don't feel fondness for them, if I don't enjoy their company or feel like we connected in some sort of way....I won't schedule subsequent cuddles.
It's an intimate (even when 100% platonic) service, and so I want to feel some sort of bond with my cuddler. Obviously I can't guarantee it before we meet in person (though chatting, texting, phone calls might help) so I go somewhat "blind" into that first session. But I need there to be a "click" between us, or I'm not likely to schedule again.
@WestsideMarc nice poem